Legends, Loot, & Lore: A Players's Guide to Dungeons and Dragons

Eldritch Blasts and Belly Laughs: Legends, Loot, and Lore Unleashed

Andrew S Season 2 Episode 10

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Have you ever considered joining a gang of ruffians just to see if you could dance your way out of trouble? Well, we did just that in the latest escapade of Legends, Loot, and Lore! James, Fable, and Catherine (congrats on the new job!) found themselves wading through the murky waters of Phandalin's politics and power struggles, with a side of spell-slinging action at the Sleeping Giant tap house. From debating the moral ambiguity of recruiting a Redbrand for our B&B to sharing a chuckle over terrorizing the town master, our journey is a whirlwind of wit and wizardry.

Theo Pimble sat down to share his wisdom on the weight of one's name and the legacy it carries, adding a touch of gravitas to our otherwise light-hearted narrative. We also entertained the prospects of Greska's Freska's food truck and the future of Tresendar Manor, weaving in themes that span from comic relief to heartfelt heroism. Our episode is a tapestry of strategic maneuvers and the charming chaos that only a tabletop RPG can deliver—complete with a round of applause for a well-aimed Eldritch Blast and a flurry of monk blows.

Wrapping up with a discussion on the potential redemption of Phandalin's less savory characters, we delve into the complexities of extending second chances and the fine line between trust and naivety. Striking a balance between the serious and the ludicrous, we debate the logistics of a B&B run by former thugs and goblins, discovering that even the most fantastical worlds face practical problems. So, grab your dice and join us for a session that promises as much laughter as it does contemplation.

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Andrew (DM):

welcome back. I can't do it tonight. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome back to another wonderful episode of legends loot and war. We've already been laughing, laughing our asses off over here at the table. We've got our guests James and Fable.

Catherine (Zanros):

I live here. Lady of the house.

Andrew (DM):

Lady of the house, catherine, no longer a lady of leisure. No.

Catherine (Zanros):

Starting a job tomorrow.

James (Iquium):

Congratulations, thank you.

Andrew (DM):

Oh my, I was saying earlier, I feel like it's been forever since we played, so why don't we do a little bit of catch up? And where were we last? And we're in the town of Vandalen, or Vandalen, whichever way. You go with that, or you go both ways, doesn't matter. So you've been to a couple places. You came in from the north down the Tribor Trail. You stopped at Barthin's Provisions and that's where Callie is hanging out and you dropped off the provisions that Gundren Rockseeker asked you to bring to Phandalin. So those are there.

James (Iquium):

You dropped off what Sildar at Sildar, that's who I was trying to think of.

Andrew (DM):

Yes, Sildar at the Stonehill Inn, not the Stony Hill Inn, site of our marriage 18 years ago, not in Phandalin. Yes, 18 years ago. Yes, not in Van Dalen.

Catherine (Zanros):

Might have been more fun.

Andrew (DM):

At the Stone Hill Inn.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yeah, like if we could have had goblins and Like a goblin band, yeah Playing.

Andrew (DM):

Would that be like the Chippendales?

James (Iquium):

At least a goblin DJ A goblin.

Andrew (DM):

DJ would be, I'd be very curious what the music would sound like.

Catherine (Zanros):

The Surly Orc could have bartended.

Andrew (DM):

The Surly Orc? Yes, well, you haven't met the Surly Orc? No, we haven't. You only know of the Surly Orc. Where else you went to Lion Shield, coster, yep, because you dropped off some. Did you drop off supplies there as well?

Andrew:

Yes, oh well, oh, that's.

James (Iquium):

That's the other stuff we returned the stuff that we found in the cave that's right.

Andrew (DM):

That's right.

James (Iquium):

Lion shield costers and we did not. You know, much to my dismay we did not steal it we didn't rummage through it or steal their coasters yeah, for future use at the bimble bumble choice day of all bbgs everywhere.

Andrew (DM):

That's right. No coasters, yet we have coasters. Yes, thanks to james, we do have coasters. Oh, that's right. No coasters, yet we have coasters.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yes.

Andrew (DM):

Thanks to James.

Catherine (Zanros):

We do have coasters. Oh, that's right, totally forgot.

Andrew (DM):

Oh yeah, Where'd you get those you gave?

Catherine (Zanros):

them to me.

Andrew (DM):

There's one on the table and there's others over here, so if you need a coaster for your drink, we have Legends, loot and Lore coasters. Woo Woo, fable is being the vana for right now. Thank you, fable. Um, so okay. So yeah, so you've been to all those places. You went to the miners exchange? Yes, because you talked to halia halia yeah there and what did? And what did halia tell you that she?

Catherine (Zanros):

sucks.

Fable (Dal):

All I remember is that we wanted to anchor house.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yeah, I tried, but I didn't roll high enough.

Fable (Dal):

Oh, she's got some shady shit going on.

Andrew (DM):

Right, because the red brands don't mess with Holly.

James (Iquium):

Yeah, she's got an arrangement perhaps, yeah, aren't we?

Catherine (Zanros):

supposed to be doing something for her.

Fable (Dal):

Kill the main dude, right yeah? What's his name? Be doing something for her. Kill the main dude, right yeah? What's his name? At the Bumble Bumble the ending.

Andrew (DM):

Glass Staff, glass Staff. Okay and okay. So you've done all those things and you also went to the Shrine of Luck.

Fable (Dal):

Oh the hag.

Andrew (DM):

Because you've got to go to the Banshee. So you talk to Sister G.

Andrew:

Yeah.

Andrew (DM):

You've got to check in on now. I can't remember his name. Sildar, sildar, you've got to check in on Sildar because he's still recovering.

Catherine (Zanros):

Because we went to see him. Well, you went to see him, iquiam went to see him, yeah, I, we went to see him.

James (Iquium):

Well, you went to see him. If we went to, yes, yeah, I did go to see him.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yeah, say like dude, what's up? Where's our? Where's gundren right recovering?

James (Iquium):

but cough it up yeah, cough up the money, come on right.

Catherine (Zanros):

Give us our gold, dude. Need us to carry you there um I'll carry you to the atn and we also met and terrorized harlan wester.

James (Iquium):

Yeah you harbin harbin, harbin harbin wester.

Catherine (Zanros):

I'm making him into harlan coven, no matter what happens yes, harlan coven is the town master of fandale we terrorized harvin wester yeah, yes, all right.

Andrew (DM):

So what? Where? Where would you like to begin? So you're still in town oh, the other thing.

James (Iquium):

We yes, one of the things that we did was we were kind of scoping out the who are. Who are the guys that are in the the MAGA hats the red brands. The red brands Make Van Dahlen great again.

Andrew (DM):

That's right Wow.

James (Iquium):

Yeah, so we were scoping them out to see kind of what their frequency of like coming into the town and when they were shaking people down and stuff like that. So I think we found out that they they come early in the. Do they come? Every week, or was it a monthly?

Catherine (Zanros):

thing is that what I think it was yeah, wasn't it like?

Fable (Dal):

mondays or fridays, before people go to the bank or something like that?

Catherine (Zanros):

yes, it was definitely early in the week. I think it was mondays.

Fable (Dal):

I feel like it was mondays.

James (Iquium):

Yeah, because, because it was after the weekend, after they were able to get money or get there, and then it was Friday when they were getting paid, I think.

Fable (Dal):

And it was Monday morning before they could get it to the bank.

Andrew:

Yeah.

Andrew (DM):

Yes, indeed. So I think that catches us up mostly from what's been going on. What would you, what would you like to do next? There's other places in town. You can check out what. What would you like to do? What's what's your thoughts?

Catherine (Zanros):

katherine. Um, I mean, at some point we're going to have to. I don't know if we should scope out the sleeping. You got one here too, james, oh um stealing my map, stealing your map.

James (Iquium):

Take your food when you're, steal your map, I give it all back.

Catherine (Zanros):

I mean I buy you food and you know, but you know it's just the okay I'm committed to the bit, so we could swing by the sleeping giant and like scope things out. What day of the week is it? Do we know?

Fable (Dal):

Isn't it like Wednesday or something? I think it was yeah.

James (Iquium):

I thought it was Wednesday because I think it was Wednesday. So like it might.

Catherine (Zanros):

They're definitely all going to be hanging at the sleeping giant or up in Tresendor Manor, future site of the Bble Bumble B&B. Yeah, yep, so we could go up by the Sleeping Giant and see what the story is.

James (Iquium):

Yeah, I think we should, I totally think we should do that.

Catherine (Zanros):

Okay.

James (Iquium):

Maybe even pick a fight or two.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yeah, I mean. And then the other question is do we want to try to head up to the Tresendor Manor and not only see? What other question is do we want to try to head up to the Tresendio Manor and not only?

Fable (Dal):

see what the situation is, but see what we've got to clean out the riffraff, the hooligans.

James (Iquium):

I'm all for seeing if they're at the Sleeping Giant first.

Catherine (Zanros):

I think we should start there, yeah.

James (Iquium):

You know, like if we can take a few out here and there and we know they're really messing with the town there and we know they're, we know they're, they're really messing with the town. So you know, is it a question whether we can be friendly with them. Well, I was just gonna say, do we go in?

Catherine (Zanros):

I mean, we know they're bad news, so like, obviously we're not. I don't think I'm recruiting these guys for the b&b, but do we go in and play dumb? You know, like, oh, we're new to town, we don't know anything, oh yeah.

James (Iquium):

Oh, absolutely.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yeah, that's kind of what I'm thinking right, like we just kind of go in and hey there buddies.

Fable (Dal):

Yeah, exactly my bros.

Catherine (Zanros):

So I would say, Are we taking any of the goblins with us? This was a, this was a and off. No, actually it was slightly on air argument that Andrew and I had about how it wasn't really yeah, did we talk about it in the last episode, where I I insisted that the goblins were going to fight with us yes. And you said I had to roll for every individual goblin, and the only one that we could agree on that might actually fight with us willingly was vincent.

Andrew (DM):

yeah and and again. Remember.

Catherine (Zanros):

There is the possibility, then, that they die right, and I don't want vincent to die, but some of the others could and then andrew got very upset that I was so callous about goblin.

Andrew (DM):

She's like collateral damage. What, oh like what? Oh my god, how little value do you place On a goblin's life? You told me.

Catherine (Zanros):

They don't even want to fight with me, so how much value should I put on their?

Fable (Dal):

lives, I mean we are Going to go to the goblin castle, so you could get some new workers there.

James (Iquium):

Wow, refillable supplies, wow, wow wow, wow so should we take any just because? Just because they're npcs, you don't have to treat them like they're npcs they don't know, they're npcs jeez I vote for breaking the fourth wall in front of all of them and destroying the reality Geez.

Andrew:

I vote for breaking the fourth wall in front of all of them and destroying the reality.

James (Iquium):

But that's just me being really harsh. Right. So I experienced some traffic on the way here. That's the only real. The aggression will die down.

Andrew (DM):

I know it's New Jersey. Traffic is like.

Catherine (Zanros):

Even on a Sunday, my gosh.

James (Iquium):

And I realized, I realized the trigger for me was the fact that I was coming to see you guys and we were playing D&D and that's what, like I could care less. Other than that, I could probably care less, but they were in between. Like a guy literally got in front of me and just he slowed down. I'm like you were in the fast lane. Why did you slow down in front of me? Like what? What is this? I'm just like I'm gonna fight it.

Andrew (DM):

I'm gonna play. That's right, and you know it's my mom, that was my mom, so you've just have you all. Are you all agreeing on heading to the sleeping giant?

Catherine (Zanros):

yes, and I think it should just be the three of us going to the sleeping giant yeah, like if we want goblins later, if, if we're headed to Tresendor Manor, then we can discuss how many of the goblins we're willing to sacrifice.

James (Iquium):

Right, it automatically goes to yeah. Okay, let's make a list of cannon fodder.

Catherine (Zanros):

Not you, Vincent. We love you.

Andrew (DM):

You've been very loyal Vincent, who has miraculous healing powers.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yes, Vincent, who is miraculously healed after a long rest.

Andrew (DM):

That's right. We're going to take care of that. After our last conversation. I mean, vincent has healed, but going forward I think we might. If someone gets really injured, we might have to.

Catherine (Zanros):

Because he was pretty badly hurt and then he was magically fine.

James (Iquium):

So you're having a conversation with her and now you're talking about goblin euthanasia.

Catherine (Zanros):

Did you listen to the last episode?

Andrew (DM):

I'm not talking about goblin euthanasia. I'm just saying it's going to take more than one long rest for someone to heal a broken bone or you know other other massive injuries yeah, because there's if nothing else, even though you've been hurt, there's always the idea that breaking your leg right is actually a traumatic thing.

James (Iquium):

Yeah, and it you. You might be healed. It might not. The bone might not be sticking through your leg anymore, but it's still the fact that you experience the pain and you saw the bone jutting through your leg right yeah, that was our health class topic on friday really compound fractures fascinating.

Catherine (Zanros):

Tell us more no, ow, uh, yeah, no. The the the topic of the part of the podcast was about things that don't necessarily make sense in 5e, that they should be correcting, and one of them was like you're miraculously healed after a long rest right, yeah um, yeah, there was somebody else that I I'll.

James (Iquium):

I'll find the link for you guys but there's somebody else that suggested that you know the, if nothing else, um, you would either be diminished in strength or dexterity, yeah, or you know you'd have you'd be rolling at disadvantage right for those throws because you had been badly injured or even, or even, you know, revivify or resurrected or what have you like?

James (Iquium):

that's a, that's a legit. I think that's a legit way to make it certainly more realistic in gameplay and, like you know, there are more consequences and I like right and I take a nap, right, right right.

Andrew (DM):

Well, it's interesting because in the because there's additional, there's additional rules, so to say, so to speak, in the Dungeon Master's Guide about injury and things like that, and they talk about making a long rest, like a week Coma.

Catherine (Zanros):

Okay.

Andrew (DM):

So they say if you, if you want to take a long rest's going to take a week to to heal, like, to to like. At least get yourself up and up and going again, sure, um? So there, there's different ways of I think that's different ways of playing it, yeah I.

James (Iquium):

I think that's great. Only you know, even if just from the standpoint of like, if you're trying to accomplish something as a party and you get seriously injured and you were on a timetable, you might just be screwed.

Andrew (DM):

Right, oh, look at this. I'm looking at Pocket Bar. There's more stuff in here.

Catherine (Zanros):

They keep updating the app.

Andrew (DM):

This episode brought to you by Pocket Bar.

Andrew (DM):

Thank you, pocket Bar. All right, they keep updating the app a lot. This episode brought to you by pocket card. Thank you, pocket bard. All right, so we want to head over to the sleeping giant. Yes, excellent, I, I did give you the description of the sleeping giant. So a sleeping giant is a run-down tap house. It's a dirty, dangerous watering hole at the end of the main street in Phandalin. It is frequented by the red brands. We know that, and it also goes by the name of the surly orc who owns and operates the Sleeping Giant? And the Surly Orc is named Greska, greska.

James (Iquium):

Greska His name is Greska.

Andrew (DM):

And you are now approached the Sleeping Giant. What would you like to do?

James (Iquium):

Not wake him up, oh sorry.

Catherine (Zanros):

How do we want to go into this?

James (Iquium):

Yeah, I mean outside it just looks run down. Is there anybody outside? Is it the kind of thing where it's uh?

Andrew (DM):

there there are. There are some people walking on the street.

Andrew:

Okay.

Andrew (DM):

Most, most good people of fan Dalen avoid the sleeping giant, so they kind of walk, walk past it quickly. Okay, um, it's your more, your more shady characters, you, you may see someone kind of with a cloak hood over their head kind of making their way, not making eye contact, not making eye contact with anyone walking into the sleeping giant. But this is not. They've got tinted windows.

James (Iquium):

Is it legal, tinted, or is it going to get pulled over in New Jersey? I just I'm asking for a friend.

Catherine (Zanros):

Now I'm looking at Jamesames's car I couldn't, I couldn't, I could not resist yes, no, it is they.

James (Iquium):

They, they pay off the local uh yeah, they pay off their pva cards yeah totally I so my feeling is that we go in there kind of unsuspecting, looking naive, even though we know that the red brands are there, and just go wow, what a great place you got here, neighbor. Yeah, and you know, just play it off for being dumb and from out of town.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yeah, I think we're going to have to.

Andrew (DM):

So that's how you're approaching this. So you're all heading into the sleeping giant.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yes, yes.

Andrew (DM):

Okay, so as you walk in, kind of as this aw shucks, kind of you know we're new here, kind of look.

James (Iquium):

Well, if we're asked, just hey, we just saw a bar and thought it'd be a great place to be.

Andrew (DM):

The Blue Oyster. Was it the Blue Oyster Police Academy? I think so.

Andrew:

I think so.

James (Iquium):

Why are they playing the tango? Why are they playing the?

Andrew (DM):

tango. So as you walk in, it's a very dimly lit, ramshackle tap room. Several disheveled, surly-looking humans are leaning up against some ale barrels. They're all wearing scarlet cloaks. They're all staring at you as you enter the sleeping giant One of the ruffians.

Catherine (Zanros):

A ruffian.

Andrew (DM):

It's a ruffian, a ne'er-do-well, because how often do they do well?

Catherine (Zanros):

Ne'er, ne'er.

Andrew (DM):

Ne'er One of them looks at you, Says what do we have here? We hear you've been looking for us.

James (Iquium):

Well, I mean, if we're going to join your uh, your little uh group, what are we supposed to do? I mean, we're supposed to look for you, right?

Andrew (DM):

You're trying to convince them that you are trying to join them.

James (Iquium):

Yes.

Andrew (DM):

Roll for deception.

Andrew:

Okay.

James (Iquium):

Natural 20. Wow, actually, sorry, that's a 22.

Catherine (Zanros):

The sound of Andrew not expecting that.

Andrew (DM):

Even better. Even better.

James (Iquium):

I love this die now.

Andrew (DM):

I now love this die one of the one of the four ruffians walks right up to you, equium, and says who sent you?

Catherine (Zanros):

exactly your mom your mother is that your final answer?

James (Iquium):

no, it's a bit spider, the spider only. I will reserve use of it's a bit at an appropriate time.

Andrew (DM):

I don't know who you're talking about.

James (Iquium):

You don't, how can you not? Is this like mistaken identity, Like are we in the right place?

Andrew:

Like I don't understand.

James (Iquium):

Like they said we should, you said we should find you. Like I don't understand. Like they said we should, you said we should find you and we ran into that Clark fella and we had to off him because he was talking really badly about, you know, the rebrands or red brands or what have you. You know, like he couldn't get it straight, like he was calling you all sorts of names and I don't even know what to do. But okay, okay.

Andrew (DM):

Well if you want to join us, you'll have to pass the initiation test.

James (Iquium):

How are they positioned in the room? They're all against the thing. Or he's just talking to me, or he's up front and they're in the room. They're all against the thing. Or he's just talking to me, he's up front and they're in the back.

Andrew (DM):

There's one who is standing straight in front of you, looking you dead in the eyes. The other three have kind of stood up and are standing behind him keeping an eye on these two, these two others that are that are with you kind of sounds like they're about to do a dance number should we bust out our floor routine? Oh, maybe we should I think we should when you're a red brand, you're a red brand all the way.

James (Iquium):

Jump out of bed. Rob my neighbor.

Andrew (DM):

I cast Dissonant Whispers on him.

James (Iquium):

Remind me what Dissonant Whispers does you whisper a discordant melody that only one creature of your choice within range can hear, wracking them with terrible pain. The target must make a wisdom saving. Throw On a failed save it takes 3d6 psychic damage. It must immediately use its reaction, if available, to move as far as its speed will allow away from me. The creature doesn't move into obviously dangerous ground such as fire or pit. On a successful save, the target takes half as much damage and doesn't have to move away. A deafened creature automatically succeeds on the save.

Andrew (DM):

So you want to attack this person?

James (Iquium):

It's verbal so I'm talking to him. There's only a verbal component.

Andrew (DM):

But I hear it in my head.

James (Iquium):

You only hear it in your head.

Andrew (DM):

yes, so what do you say?

James (Iquium):

As the dissonant whisper.

Andrew (DM):

Well, to cast the spell. Is there something you say to cast the spell?

James (Iquium):

Yeah, Never going to join your group. You rebranded hack, so what do I do?

Andrew (DM):

I'm going to run around andranded hack Wow. So what do I?

James (Iquium):

what do I run around and smite you Wow?

Andrew (DM):

So what do I have to be?

James (Iquium):

You have to eat, wisdom saving throw wisdom saving throw.

Andrew (DM):

But what? What do I have to?

James (Iquium):

You have to roll greater than a 12 on a wisdom saving throw.

Andrew (DM):

Okay, okay, oh, that's bad. Greater than 12? Like 12 or higher 12 or higher so I rolled a 12 mm-hmm however, the red brands have a minus one for wisdom no point.

James (Iquium):

So technically fails to save, he takes 14 points of damage.

Andrew (DM):

One second, I'm sorry. How many points of?

James (Iquium):

14?

Andrew (DM):

And he's, and he is stricken with fear and runs as far away from me as he can. This red brand is racked. He hears this sound in his head, this awful, awful song. It is right, Probably one of the worst songs he has ever heard in his entire life. And he can't escape it. And so he. He just turns around, breaks through the three red brains that were standing right behind him, runs directly into the wall, nearly knocks himself unconscious. But he knocks himself to the floor and has fallen and is just holding his head and screaming in pain in pain.

Andrew (DM):

Fine. The other three red brands draw their swords and are prepared to attack.

Catherine (Zanros):

I don't think you made this better for us.

Andrew (DM):

Roll for initiative.

Andrew:

Man, I'm dead 18.

Fable (Dal):

15.

Andrew (DM):

7.

Fable (Dal):

Hang on. Dal what was your initiative 18.

Andrew (DM):

Zemros 15. 15. And you said 7 yep, as he's running.

James (Iquium):

I just go.

Andrew (DM):

I'm not a test taker alright, now we've got 3 of them.

Catherine (Zanros):

Iquium this was one of your less good ideas.

James (Iquium):

I really thought, if I killed him in one shot, that what did you think his other friends are going to leave? No, I would just say that I'm not a test taker. And did I pass? Oh boy.

Andrew (DM):

All right. So the three, the three red brands, are like I said. They all have their their swords drawn and are are prepared to attack. Dal. You are up first. So it's really how, how are you three standing? Are you side by side? What's the look?

Fable (Dal):

I think me and Bumble Bumble were right next to each other and he was kind of ahead of us, right.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yeah, yeah, you go first.

James (Iquium):

I have lower initiative.

Andrew (DM):

Dee Dee's turned on the waves, good girl.

Catherine (Zanros):

She knocked over the bottle that I put over there toee's turned on the waves.

Andrew (DM):

Good girl, she knocked over the bottle that I put over there to keep it out of the way. It's gone now. Oh boy, deedee, all right, so so Equium's up front, dal and Xanros are behind. So, dal, you go first. Which one? There's three red brands standing in front of you, all side by side with their swords drawn. So do you want to go after one, two or three?

Fable (Dal):

Two.

Andrew (DM):

Okay.

Fable (Dal):

Can you do a deck save for me.

Andrew (DM):

I can. I'm going to try some new dice.

Fable (Dal):

see how we do Six. Okay, so it does hit. I'm going to do Sacred Flame.

Andrew (DM):

Okay, do I have my?

Fable (Dal):

d8? I don't even know what dice I do or don't have. I'm going to do Sacred Flame. Okay, do I have my D8? I don't even know what dice I do or don't have. I lost them all.

Andrew (DM):

Do you need a?

Fable (Dal):

D8? No, I think this one's a D8.

Catherine (Zanros):

I also gave him a bag with a couple of sets in it.

Andrew:

Yeah, ooh, out of curiosity.

James (Iquium):

Is the guy that I did the distant whispers. Is he prone right now?

Andrew (DM):

Let's say yes, he is prone.

Fable (Dal):

Four damage, four damage.

Andrew (DM):

Yes, alright, excellent, well done. Is that how you fight?

Catherine (Zanros):

The music sounds very dangerous.

Andrew (DM):

That's my danger dance Roll intimidation at disadvantage. I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

Catherine (Zanros):

Fight like this Slap fight, slap fight. Yes.

Andrew (DM):

Xanros, you are up next.

James (Iquium):

Okay, Now that's when I have to use my open hand to take it. So slap fight.

Catherine (Zanros):

Slap fight. How close are we to these guys?

Andrew (DM):

There's probably about, I would say, five to ten feet between you and them.

Catherine (Zanros):

Okay. So then I'm going to use my quarterstaff and I'm going to smack at the guy that Dal just went for. I smack, that's what I do with my quarterstaff.

Andrew (DM):

Smack, smack with the quarterstaff.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yeah.

James (Iquium):

Okay, all right, so it's a quarter smack.

Andrew (DM):

I prefer sugar smacks. But 12 a 12 to hit yeah a 12 does hit.

Catherine (Zanros):

Okay.

Catherine (Zanros):

Seven damage.

Andrew (DM):

Seven points of damage, the same one that Dal attacked. Excellent.

Catherine (Zanros):

You've really angered red brand number two.

Andrew (DM):

That's what happens when a rock gnome smacks you with a quarter stuff. Yeah, where exactly?

Catherine (Zanros):

did you hit kneecaps? Knee you kneecap this one?

Andrew (DM):

it's about the right height for me, so yeah so you hit, you hit, you hit this red brand right in the one kneecap. So they're, they're, they're kind of limping. Now they're like son of a bitch. That was like because they didn't see it coming. It's a strong little gnome. So they took the spell from Dal. So they're watching that and then suddenly you come in at the other side, whack their kneecap and they're like, they're, they're, they're, they're, very upset. Now Iquium gets his turn to attack. So there are technically four, but the one is probably about 25, 30 feet away, okay, prone on the ground, screaming, writhing in pain because of the awful song you put in his head and everybody else's head, what's that?

James (Iquium):

And everybody else's head, for that matter too. Yes, okay. So bonus action casting Mage Armor, okay, okay, and then. So tell us what Mage armor does for you so mage armor, I can touch willing creature or myself who isn't wearing armor and a protective mask.

James (Iquium):

This is a family show of course, um consent yes, they have to consent if they want armor. Um, you touch a willing creature and a protective magical force surrounds it until the spell ends nice the duration is eight hours. It is at will as an eldritch invocation. Cool, okay. The target's base ac becomes 13 plus its dexterity modifier, so it will make my armor class go from 12 to 14. Excellent, um, spell ends if, uh, you put on armor or if you dismiss the spell as an action got it.

Andrew (DM):

That's quite a spell. That's your bone and that's a bonus action. Okay, it's an at will um bonus action.

James (Iquium):

Uh so, and then I'm going to fire off. So the other guy's 25 or 30 feet away, right, but there is somebody in front of us.

Andrew (DM):

There's three in front of you.

James (Iquium):

There's three in front of us, correct? Who has ever? Is it just like one two, three and one two, three?

Andrew (DM):

No, so they are one, two, three. The middle one, number two, is the one that's gotten hit from both sides, because imagine you're kind of like in a triangle pattern, so you're up front, dal and Zanros are kind of behind you, on flanking you on either side.

James (Iquium):

Okay.

Andrew (DM):

Within a couple feet.

James (Iquium):

And you both hit Number two. Yes, both hit.

Andrew:

Number two. Yes, they both hit number two.

James (Iquium):

Okay, let's go for. Let's make it three times a charm.

Andrew (DM):

Okay.

James (Iquium):

Okay, 16 to hit. A 16 does hit hit, and then it's uh, uh what are you doing? Eldritch blast.

Andrew (DM):

Oh, I apologize, I thought I said that's all right now you may have um eldritch blast, the good old eldritch blast on four 12 points.

James (Iquium):

12 points 12 points.

Andrew (DM):

Yes Of damage. What type of damage? It's force, damage Force damage.

James (Iquium):

Yeah. So Eldritch Blast. It's a beam of crackling energy. It streaks towards the creature within range. You make a ranged spell attack, which I did, which I rolled 16. When it hits it, does the target, does 1d10, 1d10 plus 4? Where is that? The spell creates more than one beam. When you reach a higher level, Then you can have two shots at this level and beyond.

Andrew (DM):

Right Nice James.

Andrew:

Yes.

Andrew (DM):

How would you like to do this?

James (Iquium):

Since it's force damage, I would like his body to get knocked back and be surrounded by this crackling energy and knocked back, hopefully next to the guy that's already on the floor Wow.

Andrew (DM):

All right, the floor, wow, all right. So you, your. Your bolt of crackling energy throws red brand number two so far and so hard back that it slams up against the wall next to the other red brand that is back there and the body, just the impact just immediately kills him and the body just crumples to crumples of the ground, crumples to the ground right next to the other guy burned horrifically and crackling energy.

Andrew (DM):

Yes, it's just kind of that that after like, after glow, just like almost like lightning, like sparking, like around this body, and it's just as he sizzles and and dies, sounds good to me, excellent. Well, since you are, since you are right up front, red brand number three is coming after you and we'll attack with their short sword. Does a? Oh, this won't hit because you're up to a 14 now? Yes, excellent. So a 12 does not hit?

Fable (Dal):

Well, well, well, excellent, nice, nicely done. Thank you Nicely done. So a 12 does not hit.

Andrew (DM):

Excellent, nice, nicely done. Thank you, nicely done. All right, so they won't hit that one won't hit. So then the other one will come after you as well, okay, and try to attack with their short sword, and they will miss as well. So so what's happened is this crackling beam of energy kind of went right in between them and and they were, they were Just so thrown off and so so, so frightened by that attack, that they just completely missed you both with their attacks. Now that leaves us the one that is writhing in pain on the floor. It's their turn now. What do they? Does the spell continue or what happens? Can they? Can they roll on their turn to get out of it? Like what happens?

James (Iquium):

It just says that it has to use its reaction, if available, to move as far as its speed allows away from you.

Andrew (DM):

Is it a concentration spell Like is it?

James (Iquium):

No, it's instantaneous. Right, it's only a verbal component um so does it only last the one one turn. It doesn't say. It doesn't say how long it lasts.

Andrew (DM):

Okay.

James (Iquium):

So, yeah.

Andrew (DM):

So then I think he's going to come up and he's going to recover Now if he's prone he can only he has to use half his movement to half his movement to get up.

Andrew (DM):

And I think they've got, they probably have about 30 feet of movement, and I said he was about 20 to 25 feet away, so you can get 15 feet, you can get 15 feet closer, so he's going to come, I think. I think he is just going to, he's going to come that 15 feet, okay, and that is. That is all that he is going to do. He's just, he's just kind of writing himself up after, after hearing that horrific song, that awful, awful tune, and he, he kind of stumbles to his feet and he's, he, he doesn't even have a sword drawn. He's kind of reaching for, but he's just stumbling forward and kind of just stops after like 50 again, about 15 feet away from you okay and that takes us back to dow, yes, dow I'm gonna do told the dead.

Fable (Dal):

Can you do a wisdom save?

Andrew (DM):

On which one? Yeah, one or three, or the one that's 15 feet away, that already got attacked by the mentally tortured one. The mentally tortured. One Excellent.

Fable (Dal):

Yes, can you do a wisdom save?

Andrew (DM):

Mental health awareness everybody.

Fable (Dal):

I'm putting him out of his misery.

Andrew (DM):

That's not how we treat the mentally ill.

James (Iquium):

It's not a horror crime the first time.

Andrew (DM):

Anyway, okay. So what are you casting? Toll the dead. So you need a wisdom saving throw. What do I have to beat?

Fable (Dal):

13.

Andrew (DM):

I have to beat a 13. Okay, that will be a 16. Is there half damage?

Fable (Dal):

Um oh wait, that will be a 16. Is there half damage? Or? Oh wait, yeah, it's wait, no, it's, it's all or nothing. Yeah, unless I'm reading it wrong, but I think I'm reading it right. Let me say I think I'm correct, I think it's, it's all or nothing. Oh, that's a blood gun.

Andrew (DM):

Okay, I got it. I've got your character sheet up here. You point at one creature you can see within range and the sound of a dolorous bell fills the air around it for a moment. The target must succeed on a wisdom saving throw or take 1d8 necrotic damage. The target is missing any of its hit points. Instead takes 1d12 necrotic damage. It doesn't say anything about half the damage, so your spell will miss. So they were stumbling around and you just kind of just miss them, miss being able to hit them with that spell. Do you have any bonus actions or anything you want to take? I?

Fable (Dal):

don't think I do.

Andrew (DM):

Are you sure I mean?

James (Iquium):

Okay, yes, james, I mean OK.

Andrew (DM):

Yes, james can. Can I suggest?

James (Iquium):

something for people, of course. So if you use the spell, you can use it as a bonus action. Technically, you can still attack.

Andrew (DM):

Can, can I.

James (Iquium):

I mean if it's used, if it can be used as a bonus action.

Fable (Dal):

No, it can't, it can't.

James (Iquium):

Okay.

Fable (Dal):

I checked.

Andrew (DM):

The only spell you have that's a bonus action is Shield of Faith. That's the only one.

Fable (Dal):

Yeah.

Andrew (DM):

Okay, so that's your turn, zanros.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yes, okay. So I think I'm going to aim for the mentally tortured one with my dart.

Andrew (DM):

This poor guy. We're just trying to put him out of his misery.

Catherine (Zanros):

Seriously, you should we all know which way this is going.

Andrew (DM):

Fifteen A fifteen hits Okie dokie.

Andrew:

Alright, so that is.

Catherine (Zanros):

Five damage.

Andrew (DM):

Now, can I take a bonus action? Hang on, I'm just asking as my next thing yes, you can, you can take a bonus action. So you, you've got this dart, yeah, so how do you want to do this?

Catherine (Zanros):

Okay so.

Catherine (Zanros):

I leap in the air, I do a double flip and I wing the dart at the guy and it hits him.

Andrew:

Smack in the middle of the head Wow.

Andrew (DM):

Piercing his brain.

James (Iquium):

As the dart pierces his brain, all you hear is thank you, you've saved him first I heard music and then this big bell and it's just like let's just be done with it alright, so you'd like to take a?

Andrew:

I was kind of feeling.

James (Iquium):

I was kind of feeling that when I did Dissonant Whispers of the guy. I'm like apologies, okay, yes, dear, I was kind of feeling that when I did Dissonant.

Andrew (DM):

Whispers of the guy I'm like hmm, apologies, okay, yes, dear.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yes, I would like to take a bonus action.

Andrew (DM):

What is your bonus action?

Catherine (Zanros):

Flurry of blows.

Catherine (Zanros):

Flurry of blows, yes so.

Andrew (DM):

I'm going to go. Can you take Flurry of Blows? Is that a bonus action? It is one of my bonus actions Fascinating.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yes, I have Unarmed Strike and Flurry of Blows as bonus actions.

Andrew (DM):

Excellent, all right Okay.

Catherine (Zanros):

So I land on my feet after my perfect flips. Nicely done, I killed that guy and put him out of his misery. And now I'm going to attack one of the ones we haven't gone after yet.

Andrew (DM):

So there's one and three. Let's go with three, okay.

Catherine (Zanros):

Flurry of Blows yes, Seven.

Andrew (DM):

So you didn't really stick the landing. So you mostly landed but it was like an 8.5. It was like an 8.5 on the landing. So you come at him with a one unarmed strike and just kind of misses. You were just off balance just by a little bit. But now you're going to come at him with a second unarmed strike. And how do you do?

James (Iquium):

The judge from Kragma gives you a 2.3.

Andrew (DM):

Those goblins they're rough, yeah, they are. They're harsh judges 18. Oh, an 18 will definitely hit.

Catherine (Zanros):

Seven points of damage.

Andrew (DM):

Seven points of damage, all right. Seven points of damage. Seven points of damage, all right. So you do some. So describe, how is this attack with the unarmed strife, how do you?

Catherine (Zanros):

Okay, well now, I'm really mad because I missed the first one Right.

Andrew (DM):

So I just like go at him, him, and I pummel the crap out of him wow, yeah, did you jump up first, or are you like punching, punching at your height? I jumped up and I pummeled him in the sternum wow yeah so you kind of, you kind of knock the wind out of him. He kind of just takes a half step back.

Andrew:

But you really hurt him.

Andrew (DM):

That was good, nicely done. Thanks, equium.

James (Iquium):

So my choices are one or three.

Andrew (DM):

One or three. Three is the one that Zanros just hit.

James (Iquium):

Oh yeah, let's just go for number three.

Andrew (DM):

Okay.

James (Iquium):

Eldritch Blast oh Seven. Actually it's If it's a 17,.

Andrew (DM):

It hits.

James (Iquium):

Yeah, it's more than a 17.

Andrew (DM):

Plus whatever you're good, yeah, yeah.

James (Iquium):

It's a 19. It just definitely hits now. Okay, plus whatever you're good. Yeah, yeah, it's a 19. It just definitely hits now. Okay, so take one D10.

Andrew:

Nope.

James (Iquium):

That was a D100 and rolled 70.

Andrew (DM):

70 points of damage 13 points of damage. 13 points of damage, james. Yes, how would you like to do this?

James (Iquium):

Oh, let's make it a theme. It's just again crackling energy surrounds him and throws him into the. Let's throw him into a pile.

Andrew (DM):

Okay, nice, there's just him into a pile, okay, nice, so there's just a steaming pile of red brands.

James (Iquium):

Steaming pile of red brands clean up on aisle two yes, oh my.

Andrew (DM):

So now that you've you've killed, you've killed three out of the four red brands. Now.

James (Iquium):

Have we even touched the other one?

Andrew (DM):

No, the other one is completely untouched, and at this point these are the red brands are not overly brave, so this one tries to escape and run past you out the door. Attack of opportunity, please, please, okay.

James (Iquium):

I'm going to hit him with another, do you?

Andrew (DM):

So, so let me just ask are you sure you want to? Are you trying to kill him, or what are you trying to do?

James (Iquium):

I would rather take him captive, okay, that would be my choice, okay. Or or knock him unconscious, okay, but I'm not going to slap fight him, because I would heal him rather than you know because of strength.

Andrew (DM):

So how are you going to attempt to capture him? Stop him, whatever you?

Catherine (Zanros):

know because of strength. So how are you going to attempt to capture him, stop him, whatever?

James (Iquium):

I know what I'm going to do because I can do it at will. It's a cantrip, but I could. I've hit most of these. We've all hit these guys more than one time, so I feel like I could hit them with an Eldritch Blast.

Catherine (Zanros):

We probably want to keep this guy around, though, right, because we want to try to get information from him.

James (Iquium):

I would think yeah, because the only thing I have that's not well, that's not destructive, is Mage Hand, which won't necessarily that's not destructive. His mage hand, which won't necessarily hold him, it could obstruct him momentarily.

Andrew (DM):

There are many things you could do with mage hand to disrupt his exit.

Fable (Dal):

I have command Just saw that.

James (Iquium):

Just remembered that existed so here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to I'm going to cast mage hand and try to grab him with the mage hand to slow him down at the very minimum, if not stop him okay, and Dal, do you want to cast command?

Fable (Dal):

Should I see if the Mage Hand works out.

James (Iquium):

I would command him as well, yeah. I would just double up on him even if Xenorus wants to, because you're a monk, can you pummel him into subjugation? Probably, yeah, I would say we should do that, so we have somebody to.

Andrew (DM):

All right. So with the mage hand, I'm trying to think Give me your what's the, what's the ability behind Mage Hand, what's your spellcasting ability? Are you Charisma?

Fable (Dal):

Yeah.

Andrew (DM):

Give me a performance check.

James (Iquium):

Is there only one door out of here? Have we seen that, that we came in the only door other than going to the back?

Andrew (DM):

There may be a door out the back behind the bar kitchen area.

James (Iquium):

Come towards us.

Andrew (DM):

He's running right toward you. Because he's scared shitless.

James (Iquium):

at this point list at this point, I'm going to use Mage Hand to hold the door closed.

Fable (Dal):

All you do is command to get him to stop.

Andrew (DM):

Alright, so the door. So he goes running for the door. He's just like Because it's about how many pounds can Mage Hand hold.

James (Iquium):

It can't attack or activate magic items. It can carry 10 pounds.

Andrew (DM):

Can carry 10 pounds, so I feel like more than 10 pounds of force.

James (Iquium):

Yeah, you know, know, I would say in this, in this moment, it's only meant to slow him down, right, right, right, yeah, that's so, that's why, yeah, so that's so.

Andrew (DM):

Mage hand is holding the door. He's, he's fighting against this, this magical hand that is holding the door and he's pulling, trying to get himself out of the door. You're going to cast command, so tell me what. What does command do?

Fable (Dal):

Um, I mean you speak a one word command to a creature you can see within range and they must succeed on a wisdom saving throw or follow the command on its next turn.

Andrew (DM):

All right, so I have to be what? A 13. With my minus one, that becomes a one. Oh my God. So what is your command? What do you say?

Fable (Dal):

Halt.

Andrew (DM):

So he just, he stops he free, yeah, he freezes in place, it's in the thingy Like.

Fable (Dal):

that's one of the commands.

Andrew (DM):

Got it Halt. So so this red brand halts, and what would you like to do? What?

Catherine (Zanros):

would you like to do? Should we see if he is willing?

James (Iquium):

to say anything now that he's stuck. Yeah, I think we should tie him up.

Catherine (Zanros):

Ooh fun. Can I pummel him a?

Andrew (DM):

little before we tie him up. Before you have a chance to tie him up, one surly orc comes out and has a dead body of a red brand, just carrying a dead body of a red brand, just carrying a dead body of a red brand in either hand, and says to you, I don't need this kind of shit in my establishment. If you're going to mess around, go out in the street and do it. And the surly orc opens the door and just tosses these two dead bodies out into the street and starts cleaning up the mess that you have made in the sleeping giant. What would you like to do?

James (Iquium):

Well, you are a member of the Chamber of Commerce. You could say that it's a you know a path at urban renewal or something.

Catherine (Zanros):

I'm going to introduce myself to Gruska.

Catherine (Zanros):

Okay, all right, hi Xanros Pemblebomble. My family owns the Trescender Manor up the road. I plan to be turning it into a bed and breakfast. I'd love to talk to you about how we could maybe work together going forward, because I could probably send you a fair amount of business, but you're going to have to kind of turn a blind eye to what we're going to do to the red brands.

Andrew (DM):

But you're going to have to kind of turn a blind eye to what we're going to do to the red brands. I don't think the kind of people that you're going to have at the B&B want to come into this establishment. This is not the kind of place for average folk.

Catherine (Zanros):

Are you married to the decor? Because I'd be happy to hook you up with some goblins that I'm aware of who might have some interior design ideas.

Andrew (DM):

I don't need your fancy ideas in this place.

Catherine (Zanros):

Oh, I'm not saying they'd be fancy, they're goblins.

Andrew (DM):

We're fine. We're fine on our own.

Catherine (Zanros):

So let's say, me and my friends kill all the red brands. What are you going to do? So let's say, me and my friends kill all the red brands. What are you going?

Andrew (DM):

to do, considering they're my best customers.

Catherine (Zanros):

I'm saying I can replace them for you, but you're going to have to meet me halfway. Also, do you serve fresca? Because if not, that's a missed opportunity. Come to.

James (Iquium):

Greska's have a fresca, because if not, that's a missed opportunity. Come to Greska's, have a fresca. Exactly, it's very nice.

Catherine (Zanros):

Refreshing.

Andrew (DM):

What is this fresca you speak of?

Catherine (Zanros):

It's a really refreshing citrus soda. Rhymes with your name, just thought it might be fun. Greska might like a fresca yeah, listen, greska, I feel like you and I could be friends roll a persuasion check seven uh, oh get this.

Andrew (DM):

Uh oh, get this scum out of my establishment now.

Catherine (Zanros):

We'll talk again later. Okay, it's not a no, do you mind? Can we drag this guy around the back where no one can see us, because I really don't want to do this in the street.

Andrew (DM):

It's going to be bad for business. What I don't see, I don't care.

Catherine (Zanros):

All right, bud, close your eyes for a couple of seconds. We'll take care of this situation. Okay, his eyes are closed. Guys, let's get this guy outside.

James (Iquium):

Take him around the back um are we, are we aware of, like we don't have as characters, we do not have this map correct now as a general sense of where we are within the town and the road we've come down and this, yes, is it reasonable to say? Looking at the map I can see that we're kind of the backyard of Sleeping Giant, is kind of the backyard of Barthin's provisions.

Andrew:

Oh God.

Catherine (Zanros):

Relatively Like if we go outside, outside are we going to see Callie like?

James (Iquium):

right now what you're thinking? Yeah, that's exactly what I'm thinking there's.

Andrew (DM):

There's some trees and shrubs there that they kind of separate the two properties.

James (Iquium):

So we'll take the red brand out and rebrand him in the back. Callie, callie may hear you yeah, that's, that's all I wanted to know, like, yes, couldrand him in the back, callie, callie may hear you? Yeah, that's that's all I wanted to know. Like, could she possibly hear me?

Andrew (DM):

Yes, callie could possibly hear you.

James (Iquium):

Okay, Um, as we take him around back, uh, let's ask him a couple questions. I want to ask him, like how?

Andrew (DM):

many red brands are there. He's still very frightened of you, but he tells you that there's at least a dozen at any given point.

Andrew:

Now, now there's at least now a dozen. There were more, but three of them are dead, so so it's okay.

Andrew (DM):

It depends on the day.

James (Iquium):

How many survived the day how many red brands there currently are um, I think we should basically drag the other two bodies that greska has, because there's three bodies, right?

Andrew (DM):

there were. There are three dead bodies and he's.

James (Iquium):

Did he throw all of them out, or just two?

Andrew (DM):

no, no, they're now all three all three greska at the time had the two. Greska has since gone back and thrown the other, the third body, out the okay, out the door. So they're lying. Lying on the main street of Phandalin are three dead red brands. Uh, and, there are three of you and there are three of you, so we could take their clothes, disguise ourselves, if their clothes are appropriately sized.

Catherine (Zanros):

I was going to say I don't know that there's anything that's going to be the right size for me.

James (Iquium):

I mean in their clothing. What is common among their clothing?

Andrew (DM):

So the red brands are human, so they are between five, seven, six foot in that range. They're wearing leather armor okay, and the these kind of dirty crimson cloaks, okay, that's, that's the the commonality to them um.

James (Iquium):

So I'll tell you what I'd like to do.

Andrew (DM):

What would you like to do?

James (Iquium):

And you two can tell me. I have a little idea and I think we could basically take the three red brands that we killed, wrap them in their red cloaks and put bad customers written across their thing and leave them in front of Greska's.

Fable (Dal):

That's fun, greskas that's fun.

Catherine (Zanros):

It's gonna piss off greska and I'm trying to, I'm trying to develop a relationship here.

James (Iquium):

I'm just trying to dissuade anybody with thinking that it was us and he might not say anything well, why don't we?

Andrew (DM):

just drag them around the back and hide them so let me, let me ask you this question why do you not want anyone to know that it was you that killed the red brands? Because they've been so. Remember, the red brands have been tormenting and extorting the people of this town for for some time. So so the likelihood that the townspeople, the likelihood the townspeople will be happy that you killed some of the red brands, it could do one of two things. It could. It could bring more problems to town, or it could be the beginning of you clearing out the red brand. So it could be interpreted could be interpreted either way as to how the town might interpret this. So it's going to be up to you how you want to address that with, with the town. What are, what are all of your thoughts, dal? What are you thinking?

Fable (Dal):

like, on the one hand, bad relationship with fresca, with the frescas right, so so it could.

James (Iquium):

It could potentially sour the relationship if you, if you leave them out in front of grescas, if we put the survey square, though, and leave the one alive and tied up and put a little to the good people of Fandale and we're here to fix your problem.

Andrew (DM):

I like that. Are you still questioning this guy or?

Catherine (Zanros):

I think we should, oh yeah.

James (Iquium):

No we full on have to interrogate him. But, I think we have to take the bodies, and we have to. I mean, we can pull around back for the moment in case any more of them come. That's my feeling yeah, so yeah, no, I'm all for hiding them for the moment while we question this guy. Yeah, God.

Andrew (DM):

I think that probably sounds like a good idea.

Catherine (Zanros):

Seems wise yeah.

Andrew (DM):

Yeah, okay. Who's dragging the bodies Because?

Fable (Dal):

clearly it's not Iquium. I'll drag the bodies.

Catherine (Zanros):

I can probably take one, if Dal can take two.

James (Iquium):

Oh, I can help you with one, but it's no, you can't. No, you can't.

Andrew (DM):

You can't Speak for yourself. You're a supervisor 50 pounds.

James (Iquium):

You're a supervising 50 pounds, I could lift 50 pounds. I could lift one leg of the guy.

Catherine (Zanros):

I was going to say this is a human man.

Andrew:

He definitely weighs more than 50 pounds.

Andrew (DM):

All right, so Dal give me a athletics check.

Fable (Dal):

Oh boy.

Andrew (DM):

Twelve, so you are able to successfully drag two bodies behind the sleeping giant AKA the surly orc, AKA Greska's frescas.

Andrew:

Yeah, mm-hmm.

Andrew (DM):

Uh you so, Zanrose, give me a athletics 14 14. All right, so you as well are able to a little more difficulty, but but you're able to with with equiums, small amount of help, I'd like to roll strength, just for fun with equiums, with equiums encouragement. So so roll an athletics check. Okay, you can do it two that's what I thought.

James (Iquium):

Yeah, I rolled a five, it's minus three I got a two Ickley I mean, I give you credit for trying, but why?

Catherine (Zanros):

I think I pulled something. Yeah, exactly that's going to slow us down.

Andrew (DM):

Had you rolled a one, you would have pulled something.

James (Iquium):

You've caused yourself all of your hit points of damage in pulling out your Ickley dislocated his shoulder again.

Andrew:

He dislocated an entire body.

Andrew (DM):

He was waving. Oh my god, alright, so you've. I need to be resurrected after I sneeze today, so Alright, so you've successfully dragged the three bodies behind the sleeping giant and you've successfully dragged the three bodies behind the sleeping giant and you've got the one guy. Is he tied up?

James (Iquium):

Oh yeah, he's tied up.

Andrew (DM):

So he's tied up and you are about to question him, so who's got some questions for this guy?

James (Iquium):

So who's got the best persuasion or intimidation? I have a plus one to persuasion and a minus one to intimidation, I got plus two to both. My persuasion's plus two I'll try to persuade him. No intimidation, because he's afraid of me. So yes. Four, damn it.

Andrew (DM):

So you, as poor as you are with carrying a body, you're equally as poor as intimidating you.

James (Iquium):

I would say my attempt to carry the body has has has lowered my intimidation.

Andrew (DM):

Yes, absolutely, Absolutely, that's fair, he is, he, he's looking you over and is just not intimidated at all by you. So you, you are very unsuccessful in, very unsuccessful in trying to gather any information.

Catherine (Zanros):

Just unsuccessful, very unsuccessful, yes, yes.

Andrew (DM):

Entirely unsuccessful. I knew I should have Eldritch Blast him yeah.

Catherine (Zanros):

Extra unsuccessful.

Andrew (DM):

So Dal or Xanros, who would like to question you want to give it a go.

Fable (Dal):

I'll try.

James (Iquium):

Okay, If you don't, I'm I'm going to elder's class.

Fable (Dal):

Uh, it's which one. Is it Perception or persuasion? Uh, 14.

Andrew (DM):

So, what do you want to ask, what do you, what do you want to know from this red brand?

James (Iquium):

Cause he's already told us that there are a dozen or so additional reds probably 15 and we got rid of three of them or whatever. So, okay, so about a dozen or so.

Catherine (Zanros):

Um, we definitely want to know where Glass.

Fable (Dal):

Staff is oh yeah. I forgot about him for a bit there.

James (Iquium):

If they're all at, whatchamacallit Manor.

Fable (Dal):

Yes.

Catherine (Zanros):

I have a plan for asking about that.

Andrew (DM):

Well, glass Staff. So what do you want to know about Glass Staff?

Catherine (Zanros):

Where is he at Donde esta Glass Staff?

Andrew (DM):

And you rolled a 14?.

Andrew:

Yeah.

Andrew (DM):

Glass Staff makes his home, if you want to call it that. He hides out up at the remnants of Trescender Manor.

Andrew:

Okay.

Catherine (Zanros):

I'm gonna roll for intimidation.

Andrew:

Yes, oh god, two oh.

Andrew (DM):

So what were you trying to? What information were you trying to get out of?

Catherine (Zanros):

I was gonna run up, kick him and then try to find out exactly how much damage they've done to Tresendermanner.

Andrew (DM):

So you don't need intimidation, for I don't think you need intimidation for that Okay.

Catherine (Zanros):

Can I just kick him?

Andrew (DM):

Do do run athletics check.

Catherine (Zanros):

Okay, rolling with my other D20, because this one's not been my friend today. That's an athletics check friend today. I mean, that's an athletics job, yeah 16.

Andrew (DM):

Oh, so you are very successful in kicking.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yeah.

Andrew (DM):

So he's. So he's tied up, he's leaning up against the back wall of of the sleeping giant with his arms tied behind his back, so you kind of just kick him in the side, like kick him in the ribs. Yeah, okay. So ow, son of a bitch.

Catherine (Zanros):

What have you people done to my manor? That is my bed and breakfast, this is my bed and brother, oh, my friend and brother, who's friend, hold please.

Andrew (DM):

Red leather, yellow leather.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yes, Me, me, me, me, me, me me. This is my.

Andrew (DM):

Bumble bumble bread and butter. Bumble bumble bread and butter.

James (Iquium):

Bumble bumble bread and butter Nice, that's even better than 11 benevolent elephants.

Catherine (Zanros):

This is my bread and butter and you people are destroying it. Get the hell out of my house.

Andrew (DM):

Listen, listen, lady, wow, wow, listen. The place was in shambles before we even got there.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yeah, couldn't have made it nicer, huh.

Andrew (DM):

It's a hideout, not for long. What is that supposed to mean?

Catherine (Zanros):

You're not going to be hiding there for long.

James (Iquium):

I cast Mage Hand and hold it over his mouth and nose, just pinch them together.

Andrew (DM):

Now he can't breathe. So now he's struggling and fighting For air.

Catherine (Zanros):

Oh, you're really tough now, huh.

James (Iquium):

Can I re-roll intimidation?

Catherine (Zanros):

After that yes, look at this guy, he's so tough, can't breathe. You want to breathe? Huh, you want some air. Could have kept my house nicer. 18.

Andrew:

Yes, Look at this guy, he's so tough Can't breathe.

Catherine (Zanros):

You want to breathe huh.

Andrew (DM):

You want some air? Could have kept my house nicer 18. He is. Are you going to take the hand away? Oh yeah, no, I'll take the hand away, he gasps and draws in air and is like what the fuck is wrong with you?

Catherine (Zanros):

Don't talk to my friend like that or I'll kick you in the mouth. Are you trying?

James (Iquium):

to kill me. You killed my three friends. Did you see how they died?

Andrew (DM):

I saw how they died. Why do you think I was running?

James (Iquium):

Okay, are you sure it might not be your day today? Clearly, clearly, it's not so.

Andrew (DM):

What do you want to know? I just what is it going to take for you to let me? Are you going to let me go? No, no, probably not Then I'm not going to tell you shit here.

Catherine (Zanros):

I got a proposition for you now.

James (Iquium):

If you go and you tell the rest of the red brands that we've hurt you and your friends. That won't be. That won't be good. I just want to know where they are, because I want you all to stop and I want you to leave these nice people in this town alone. So while I won't let you go now, I'm not saying that you won't be freed in the future. You just can never be a red brand again. Either that or I will shake your hand in the middle of the town square and let you go and make it look like you cooperated with myself and the townspeople.

Andrew (DM):

I'm listening.

Andrew:

I'm listening.

Catherine (Zanros):

I'm going to ask you a question, you mind.

Andrew:

Equinox.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yeah, go ahead, listen, you're not going to be a red brand anymore, because we're going to take care of the rest of you, so would you have any interest in working for a bed and breakfast? Are you handy? Do you like to build things? Do you have a secret desire to be a waiter?

Fable (Dal):

Would you say you're a DIY-er.

Andrew (DM):

I get shit done. I am, listen am? I'm great at Intimidating people, shaking people down for money. I've got my own sword, the nice sword. Do you need, do you need security? Do you like animals, love animals?

Catherine (Zanros):

Cause we got a couple of wolves, I was thinking they'd be security, but maybe we need somebody to oversee the wolves. Do you like animals? Love animals? Because we got a couple of wolves, I was thinking they'd be security, but maybe we need somebody to oversee the wolves and you could work as security and they could back you up.

Andrew (DM):

Roll for persuasion.

Catherine (Zanros):

Also, do you like goblins?

Andrew (DM):

Can't stand goblins.

Catherine (Zanros):

Well, there's going to be a bunch of them at the B&B, so if you are going to work there, you're going to have to get along with them, oh, not 20.

Andrew (DM):

So that is a 21. You know this, listen, what you're saying sounds really great. You know I'm. I mean, I got in this because I thought I was going to make some money, but it hasn't really turned out to be that good of a job. You know, if you're offering something better, then I'm willing to try.

Catherine (Zanros):

All right. So let's say Icrim, do we take him to town, do we tell people he's an okay guy, or do we wait?

James (Iquium):

No, we wait.

Catherine (Zanros):

My friend is not very trusting.

James (Iquium):

I think we either tie him up and leave him in the care of the goblins, since he doesn't like goblins, it's kind of like you know.

Andrew (DM):

Those filthy creatures.

Catherine (Zanros):

Oh wow, dude. No, you can't, you cannot talk like that. Those are fellow employees, they are hard workers, they smell really bad, but they wear little bow ties and they're kind of adorable.

Andrew (DM):

Doesn't sound like any goblins I've ever known. Yeah.

James (Iquium):

I don't really hear any sort of repentance in his voice. I know he doesn't really.

Catherine (Zanros):

Are you just saying you'll come work for me so that we don't kill you? Because just keep in mind, if you turn on us, we'll just kill you.

James (Iquium):

I'd like to loot the other bodies and take all of his stuff as well. He said he has a nice sword.

Catherine (Zanros):

If he's going to be working as security at the B&B, we probably have to let him keep his sword.

James (Iquium):

No, not today. Take it for a bit.

Catherine (Zanros):

Iquium.

James (Iquium):

No.

Catherine (Zanros):

Iquium's being a dickwium again.

Fable (Dal):

I just Well, I don't trust him with the sword right now. Yeah, I'm thinking having a guy that you have tied up and letting him have access to a sword.

Catherine (Zanros):

We have to return the sword later. I'm not saying I wouldn't give it back, alright.

James (Iquium):

But considering he might wholesale slaughter your entire staff because he doesn't like goblins, that could be problematic for you.

Catherine (Zanros):

I'm still on the fence about hiring him. I haven't run a background check yet, but I'm gonna imagine it's not gonna come back great.

James (Iquium):

Let's see Part of a gang that's shipped down an entire town and is keeping it from advancing in any sort of way. I would say, with my lawful tendencies, he should be a champ.

Catherine (Zanros):

You have any references.

James (Iquium):

Just let me kill him now. I'm saying this in front of him.

Andrew (DM):

Oh yeah, we know, listen, I told you I'll work for you. I don't want to die Right now?

James (Iquium):

I don't.

Catherine (Zanros):

Is that your only motivation, though that seems like a pretty good motivation, not wanting to die. I'm going to say I'll hire you on a trial basis, but if it doesn't work out we're gonna kill you.

Andrew (DM):

Who are the actual bad guys in this town?

Catherine (Zanros):

You.

James (Iquium):

I mean, how long have you been shaking down the town? I mean, you want to have the discussion about that. We should have a discussion about this. How?

Andrew (DM):

long have you been shaking down the town? I mean, you want to have the discussion about that.

James (Iquium):

We can have the discussion about this. Shaking down a town is different than killing somebody.

Andrew (DM):

You're talking about. So you haven't killed anybody. I haven't killed anybody, you haven't killed anybody?

James (Iquium):

No, then what good is your sword? You don't need it. I've taken it from you.

Andrew (DM):

It's intimidation.

James (Iquium):

Okay, so it's intimidation. Yeah, okay, so it's intimidation.

Andrew (DM):

So you're really. If I kill somebody, they're not going to continue to pay me. Well, what good? What good is it? What good is a dead person?

Catherine (Zanros):

just terrorize them. Guys, exactly you're.

Andrew (DM):

You're the murderers, you just killed three people inside the bar three people.

Catherine (Zanros):

I watched you do, you want a salary, Because right now I'm thinking about rescinding this offer.

James (Iquium):

You're not even allowing me plausible deniability. I came in. Your friend said I had to pass a test, so I went to put a nasty little song in his head, so I thought I would pass the test. I guess I didn't pass, oh well. So my thought is you're going to leave these nice people alone. Where did you come from? Did you come from this town? Where are the rest of the Red Brands? These are the things that I want to know right now.

Andrew (DM):

Told you. The rest of the Red Brands are up in Tresendor, the remains of Tresendor.

Catherine (Zanros):

Manor. Start calling it the Bumble Bumble B&B, please. The remains of Tresenderman are. Start calling it the Bumble Bumble B&B, please.

James (Iquium):

Is there a jail in town? Do we know that?

Andrew (DM):

I know where some people are being held prisoner.

Andrew:

You do.

Andrew (DM):

Mm-hmm.

Catherine (Zanros):

Hmm, want to tell us.

James (Iquium):

What sorts of people?

Catherine (Zanros):

This one's just plain coy. What sorts of people this one's just plain coy.

Andrew (DM):

What sort of people you ask?

James (Iquium):

Yes, how did we end up leaving alive the most annoying one? I don't know God. I've already offered to Eldritch Blast multiple times. So I, I, I'm still okay with that because he broke the law. He's terrorized towns people. I kind of like this town that's kind of growing on me I mean, I like the town too.

Catherine (Zanros):

I'm gonna have to deal with all these people, but I also made this one an offer of employment and I figure I probably shouldn't murder him like 10 minutes later I told you, lady, I told you I'm gonna work for you did you sign the employment agreement and have you read the employee manual yet?

Andrew (DM):

okay, obviously not all that's her own. Reach out to me okay I'm waiting for my onboarding email. She didn't even laugh at that.

Andrew:

She's not even paying attention. She did not laugh.

Andrew (DM):

She did not laugh. I heard To my joke the onboarding email. Yes, the mail is coming.

Catherine (Zanros):

It'll be there at 11.40 pm.

James (Iquium):

Apparently the mail is coming by owl, considering they are the slowest flyers.

Catherine (Zanros):

So think about that. Where does this?

James (Iquium):

leave us. I don't know. Here's the thing I do. I do loot the bodies while we're talking to him. Okay, is there anything? We find? No.

Andrew (DM):

Nothing of note.

James (Iquium):

Nothing of consequence, guys, can we?

Catherine (Zanros):

take these capes though the cloaks. I feel like I could make some curtains out of these.

Fable (Dal):

That's a good idea. I like that.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yeah, we just have to wash them. They're gross and what's this guys?

James (Iquium):

Yeah, Do we know a name yet?

Andrew (DM):

You do not know a name of this character.

James (Iquium):

I ask him his name. We can assume that he's given me a name.

Catherine (Zanros):

I need to know his name for his I-9.

James (Iquium):

It's the expression that andrew's wearing. That really, that really really brings it home for me because I understand, I understand the question from being a dm and I and I look, never let us in a library or a bookstore, right, right, because I learned the hard way, and the hard way was my players asked me names of books, oh yeah, so of course you know, I had to do things from jokes that I knew right 40 days in the saddle by major Aspern. You know, like stuff, like those kinds of jokes we've learned as kids.

Andrew (DM):

Yeah, so.

James (Iquium):

I.

Andrew (DM):

So you ask him his name, he goes. My name is Theo Theo Pimble, theo Pimble, theo Pimble.

James (Iquium):

Of the Neverwinter Pimbles. You've heard of us. Well, you people aren't that bad. Maybe you're the bad seed in the family, but you know I'm the black sheep.

Catherine (Zanros):

If you're from Neverwinter, then why are you pretending like you've? Never, heard of the Bumble Bumbles.

Andrew (DM):

Oh, I've heard of you.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yeah, I bet you have. I know all about the Bumble Bumbles.

Andrew (DM):

Oh I've heard of you. Yeah, I bet you have. I know all about the Bumble Bumbles.

Catherine (Zanros):

Uh-huh.

James (Iquium):

Do tell.

Andrew (DM):

Roll a persuasion check. Oh boy, 14. 14 Bumble Bumbles imagine themselves as aristocracy. But just because they've got some money doesn't buy them class you're fired, fired, fired, fired, fired.

James (Iquium):

I'm starting to like you more. Um, I'm kidding, I do not say that okay you don't have a job anymore I mean, I was already, I was already a little soured on

Catherine (Zanros):

the whole like I hate goblins thing.

James (Iquium):

I'm really curious to who he's got tied up somewhere. He knows where prisoners are and I'll tell you what. Fine.

Catherine (Zanros):

He doesn't have a job, though we can leave him alive, but he does not have a job. Listen, and also I'm going to tell everyone that you pooped your pants.

Andrew (DM):

That's fair. Listen if, listen, if you. If you want help navigating the hideout, I would be willing to trade a job for helping you get through the caverns below Drisender Manor.

James (Iquium):

So here's what I propose. I'm all for having him guide us and we take their cloaks. Same time, I do think we should see, leave the dead bodies in the in the square with a little you're welcome, fandale, and we're here to help, kind of thing. And you know maybe that you know people will go. Oh well, wait a minute. We just met those new people and you know maybe that you know people will go. Oh well, wait a minute. We just met those new people and you know they don't necessarily have to associate us by name yet, but I think the visual of them being, you know, dead and hogtied in the middle of the town square is, uh, can be pretty powerful for the town. Um, and then we can, you know, like you said, we could take the, we can take the capes the cloaks.

James (Iquium):

wear their cloaks anyway, even though, size wise, they're all humans, right yeah?

Andrew (DM):

Mm-hmm.

Andrew:

Okay.

James (Iquium):

Hmm, humans, right, yeah, mm-hmm okay. Hmm, two of you are gonna look pretty silly in those those cloaks. So he gets to wear his cloak, I get to wear one of the other cloaks and you two are our quote-unquote prisoners. Would you take prisoners to tris undera Manor? Normally, I ask him.

Andrew (DM):

There's already some there, so what's? A few more.

James (Iquium):

Okay, and you got into this for making money, right.

Andrew (DM):

Listen, I I tried farm life, just wasn't for me. I was down. On my luck, they came by and offered me a job, and here I am, okay.

James (Iquium):

I would absolutely advocate for you getting a job, number one, if you help us, if you help us get through Tresendor Manor, show us around. We get the other people who are captured and I'm willing to say you know we're good. Get you a job for after we've cleared the manor.

Catherine (Zanros):

Do you make hiring decisions for my B&B now? No, no.

James (Iquium):

I'm saying I would advocate for him. It's not up for me to give him a job. That's why I said I would go to bat for him and say hey, zanros, he's helped us sufficiently, despite the fact that I you fact that we killed all his associates.

Catherine (Zanros):

I asked for it.

Andrew (DM):

Alright, so what's the plan from here?

Catherine (Zanros):

I think we can give him a job on a contingent basis and take him up to Tresendor with us. I think it's a good idea for you and he to keep the cloaks on.

Andrew (DM):

Yeah.

Catherine (Zanros):

Dal and I can go in as faux prisoners. I know I don't like it either, but unless there's a sewing machine somewhere in the woods where I can hack off part of one cloak to make it small enough for me and then add it to the other cloak to make that one big enough for you, I think it's a pretty good plan All right, so what's the next step? I guess we're headed to Tresenderman, all right.

James (Iquium):

I think we got to take the bodies into the town square.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yes, yeah. That first Okay.

Andrew (DM):

And how are you going to do that?

James (Iquium):

I whistle for Callie.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yep.

Andrew (DM):

Callie comes bursting through the shrubs and just just just knocks them all over the place and just bounds, bounds her way over to you and looks at you, for, you know, obviously very happy to see you.

James (Iquium):

Gritches.

Andrew (DM):

Yes, yeah, very happy to see you, and.

James (Iquium):

I'm very happy to see her riches yes yeah, very happy to see you and I'm very happy to see her. Yes, um and uh I. I think we could throw the bodies over her back and she can carry them into the square.

Catherine (Zanros):

It's not that far okay, is she gonna freak people out?

Fable (Dal):

I mean not if we're dropping off those dead bodies in the square. Yeah, I think. I think Is she going to freak people?

James (Iquium):

out. I mean Not if we're dropping off those dead bodies in the square. I think it's to say, hey look, she's with, she's with us. And even suggestive of like, hey, we have a muscle with us, Nothing.

Andrew (DM):

I was reading something on my wall here. Okay, so who's tossing the bodies up onto Callie?

Fable (Dal):

Walk.

Andrew (DM):

All right, so give me a strength check, give me three strength checks.

James (Iquium):

I should say athletics tracks, specifically athletics tracks tie their feet and just have Kelly drag them into the center they're already dead what do you want to do?

Fable (Dal):

I have a 6, a 20, and a 13.

Andrew (DM):

A 6, a 20, and not 20?.

Fable (Dal):

Uh no.

Andrew (DM):

Okay so a 6, a 20, and a 13. Okay so the 20 and the 13,. You get the bodies up on Up on top of Callie the six. You kind of throw it up in the air. Callie mistakes it for a toy and it was bound to happen. And and grabs, grabs red brand number three, and in her mouth it doesn't eat them but just is kind of thinks the toy is kind of shaking them back and forth.

Andrew:

We dragged them into the have her drag them into the square.

Catherine (Zanros):

She's just shaking it like a chew toy.

James (Iquium):

Yes absolutely. She grabs them by the legs or or whatever it doesn't. It doesn't matter which way she does it, but just kind of drag them along like a chew toy.

Andrew (DM):

Yeah, we go into the into the middle of that, into the town green yes and uh and drop them off and we put a note on the so, as you're, as you're doing that harbin wester Comes running out of the town master's hall there and is screaming like what have you done?

Catherine (Zanros):

This is how you want to talk to us. We did you a favor.

Andrew (DM):

This place is going to be swarming with red brands.

Catherine (Zanros):

Seems unlikely.

James (Iquium):

Is this a little swarm? Because it's pretty much dead.

Andrew (DM):

There's going to be more of them, great, and they're going to cause a lot of problems. No, they're not. They've already dragged off several people from town. Well, who have they dragged off?

James (Iquium):

You want to give me a list of names, I'll see what I can do to get them back for you. Otherwise they can come here and knock the little biatch out of you. For stoppiness, we're trying to help you. If you don't want to see that, that's on you, not on us.

Catherine (Zanros):

Why are you being a problem? Who me? No, harvin, harvin west. I didn't think I was being a problem, oh my god, not, you listen.

Andrew (DM):

I don't need any more trouble than we already have with these, these red brands listen, bud, we're gonna take care of them.

Catherine (Zanros):

You gotta chill out. Red brands Listen, bud, we're going to take care of them. You've got to chill out. I don't see you doing anything about it.

Andrew (DM):

You better take care of them.

Catherine (Zanros):

Oh, do I take orders from?

James (Iquium):

you. At this point. I signal to Callie, she drops the other, she just drops them all, and she goes to Harbin Wester and licks his face and then lays down on the ground looking for a belly rub.

Andrew (DM):

Oh, who's a good girl? Yeah, see.

James (Iquium):

You have three less problems now.

Catherine (Zanros):

That's the first time.

Andrew:

I've ever liked you.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yeah.

James (Iquium):

I'm just saying we want everything for your town, we want good things for your town. It's a nice little town. There's no reason you should have to live in fear.

Catherine (Zanros):

I'm planning to come here and open a business, but I can't have these guys hanging around. So we'll take care of them for you, but you gotta stop acting like we're causing more problems. You've done nothing.

Andrew:

Let us do something.

Andrew (DM):

If you can eliminate the red brands.

Catherine (Zanros):

When we eliminate the red brands.

Andrew (DM):

I will offer you a reward of 200 gold pieces.

Catherine (Zanros):

Nice, that's what. I'm talking about.

James (Iquium):

I think that's perfectly reasonable, all right.

Andrew (DM):

Before we head up to, I need to use a bomb, tresendermania. Let's take a. Let's take a short break.

Andrew:

Okay.

Andrew (DM):

All right, so okay. So next step is to move on to Tresendermania, which we will do next episode. Yep, cause that's going to be that there's a bunch of I don't want to give anything away, but there's there's a lot going on in in Tresendor manner. So so we'll, we'll save that for for next time. But let's you want to recap today's, today's events? Yeah, so really, really, I mean. I mean, I mean, all that happened today was really the adventure in um up to the.

Andrew (DM):

I keep, I keep wanting to call it the sleeping giant, the surly orc, the sleeping giant, the surly orc, the sleeping giant, the surly orc. So what so?

James (Iquium):

the sleeping giant with the sidecars Greska. Greska and the Fresca.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yeah.

James (Iquium):

Greska's, fresca's. I love the fact that he might have a little food truck, food wagon Right.

Andrew (DM):

Greska's Fresca's. Yeah, maybe Greska will steal the recipe for Fresca.

James (Iquium):

Yeah.

Andrew (DM):

And like make, make it her own thing. That's great Greska's. Would you like a Greska?

Catherine (Zanros):

Is Greska a woman? Yes, I was just about to ask that too.

James (Iquium):

It just hit me Greska is a surly orc.

Catherine (Zanros):

Oh, now I'm more afraid of her, a surly lady orc.

Andrew (DM):

Yeah, you should be afraid of Greska.

James (Iquium):

Yeah, no, I was like surly orc. Okay, I'm like okay now it's even more terrifying.

Andrew (DM):

Yes.

Catherine (Zanros):

Greska is terrifying. Greska and Trafreska yes.

Fable (Dal):

How are you doing over?

Andrew (DM):

there. Fable Thumbs up, thumbs up, Got the big thumbs up from Fable Thumbs up. That was it. It was fascinating because I'm listening to all of you talk about this and talking about using the red brands, capes and everything. I'm like the little one is not going to be well oversized. It's going to be like Dal is going to be in short pants. Yes, they're like Dal is going to be in short pants, yep.

James (Iquium):

Oh God, yes, we're human, yes.

Andrew (DM):

Big tiefling and a little cake, big tiefling, and a little cake, nice, nice, so no. So it wasn't going to work out for most of you. That was a fun battle. I was trying to figure out what you were going to do with the first red brand and then I thought you were going to talk it out and try to intimidate him, because I had this whole like elaborate, like, like initiation thing. I was gonna like have you try to like do something in town and like commit some crime or something to prove yourself to, and it's funny because I thought of that.

James (Iquium):

I'm like he's gonna have me commit a crime in this town, that I'm trying to get people to like us and trust us and it's going to throw everything Screw, this Dissonant whispers. I'm going to Rick roll them, that's, you know, and it's. And I really thought, maybe I should, maybe I should think of another song, but I just think if there's one thing that makes people squirm in my life, it's to get Rick rolled.

Andrew (DM):

And you know I'm like that's, that's a good enough of a. Well, the the. The other one that I always think of is, um, the episode of how I met your mother when they're in the. Was it in the Fiero? Oh yes, and the tape.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yeah, it's uh the pretenders.

Andrew (DM):

I would walk 500 and like, and I'm just like he's, like it comes back with a Scottish accent and everything.

James (Iquium):

I would walk 500 miles yeah.

Andrew (DM):

I'm going to have to go. And now they see, because I keep thinking about things. Now, if you do it in a Scottish accent, all I can think of is now. So I married an axe murderer. S-a-t-u-r-d-a-y.

James (Iquium):

Night you got the piper down. There's a piper down, he's got a whole huge head. He probably cries himself to sleep On his wee little pillow.

Andrew (DM):

See, there's so many ways this could go.

James (Iquium):

Yes, that's like invoking, like I don't know.

Andrew (DM):

Oh man.

James (Iquium):

For me it's like so I married an ex-murderer Is just like my brother and I would do that whole saturday night thing and and we did it in a we were both working in a restaurant. Harriet got a little trouble for for yodan s-e-t-u-r-d-a-y night, right.

Catherine (Zanros):

And then, oh my god, the boss is just like.

James (Iquium):

What the fuck are you doing? Yeah, really harriet, sweet harriet, hard-hearted harbinger of haggis, yeah rose jailbird rose happy in her cage, no longer full of rage, she roosts yeah another movie that fable has never, oh my god I don't watch many movies, but

Andrew (DM):

anyway. So all right, so you. So you're facing these, so let's go back to the the surly order. So so you have. You had these four red brands, so you yeah you, you, rick rolled the first one and yeah and I, and I really thought it was.

James (Iquium):

It was that it was the thought of like I saw you like say initiation, I'm like, damn, I'm going to have to commit crimes, yep. And I thought, hmm, nah, let's go If I take the first guy out. After he said you have to pass an initiation, my thought was, if I can take him out in one shot, first of all, I'm getting pretty lucky, right, right, right. But it's showing an example to the other guys in the bar, like not to mess with us.

Andrew (DM):

And you almost had him. Yeah, you only had two hit points left.

James (Iquium):

Oh, really yes.

Andrew (DM):

Like, yes, like you nearly killed him, like right off the bat. I was like, oh, that would have been like epic, like him, like right off the bat. I was like, oh, that would have been like epic.

James (Iquium):

yeah, like like that would have been like fantastic, just points and I could have maxed out, I could have probably gotten those two yeah, two points.

Andrew (DM):

But well, it was just the way I rolled. It's the way I rolled the hit points for each of them. Um, I roll. Yeah, I rolled that. He had 16 hit points because I think it's like, I think it was like a, what was it? I I'm trying to think what their ace, what their? Oh, it was 3d8 plus 3.

James (Iquium):

Okay.

Andrew (DM):

So I mean, I guess technically I could have rolled even lower, but I mean, I did think.

James (Iquium):

I did think at one point, and when I asked you like how far he went back, he said 25 to 30 feet. But there were guys in front of him Like the split second decision. He's prone and if I hit him with Eldritch Blast he's probably dead.

Andrew:

Right.

James (Iquium):

And then I can go. I don't have a problem with you. I knew that guy Right, that was one way. But then I thought if we take them all out we have that many less to deal with going forward.

Andrew (DM):

Right, exactly.

James (Iquium):

And that's what influenced my decision. I saw Catherine and Faye will go. Oh God, what are you doing? What are you doing? Why? Congratulations, you are now diquium again. Yes, congratulations, you are now Dick. We I'm again.

Andrew (DM):

Yes exactly Like the last thing we wanted to do was get into a fight and and you picked, and you picked one with these guys and now we're in one. Exactly. But it was funny Like, well, I'm glad you didn't, I'm glad it ended up that you didn't kill the one, because that I mean, that was his whole gig. Yeah, after he killed three, the last one was supposed to run away, so yeah, his whole, his whole, his whole purpose in life was to run away his whole purpose in life was to run away.

Andrew (DM):

So so I'm. It was interesting how you, how you, went about doing that. It was I liked. I liked the use of mage hand. I I liked command. I thought that was really good to tell him to halt.

Fable (Dal):

Thank you.

Andrew (DM):

So, oh, who's crying Hope, hope.

James (Iquium):

So I admit it, I looked up mage hand. You cannot choke somebody, right? But it doesn't say you can't hold the hand over their mouth and keep them from you know, can they break away from it? Chances are they can break away from it, because you can only carry 10 pounds with Mage Hand. But it says nothing about you know. And my thought was I just want to be able to re-roll intimidation. Yeah, yeah, yeah and use that as the vehicle to get to be able to roll intimidation again.

James (Iquium):

Yeah, that was really good and for me, I have to say that, the thing that probably helped me, because, as the audience may or may not know, I'm playing a spellcaster for the first time in many, many years. So, I'm kind of intrigued about it, and so when we leveled up, I had to take those invocations and had Mage Armor as an Eldritch invocation.

Andrew (DM):

Mage Armor, that was a good. That saved you from getting hit.

James (Iquium):

I think I probably would have gotten hit at least twice.

Andrew (DM):

Well, I think only the one time, there was only one time I attacked you Because you rolled a 12. I had a 12 armor was you would it would have had a 12, I would have hit yeah but then it was 14 so yeah that was good yeah, I'm like wait a minute, it doesn't.

James (Iquium):

It can be.

Andrew (DM):

It can be a bonus action, okay and and I love, I love zan rose's use of of the acrobatics. Like I love that they're just like this little spunky.

James (Iquium):

Yeah, I gotta say I love that Into Flurry of Blows is they're just getting so mad.

Catherine (Zanros):

Seriously she's just so mad.

Andrew (DM):

See. So, mike, one of the other people that I've played with, he's the one that calls it Fury of Blows, and that would have been a Fury of, I mean Zanros.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yeah, she's just like.

Andrew (DM):

Zanros is a little ball of fury.

Catherine (Zanros):

She's so mad, she's just so mad.

Andrew:

It's the.

Andrew (DM):

Napoleon complex.

Catherine (Zanros):

Zanros is the gnome version of Hope.

Andrew (DM):

She's just so mad, so full of rage? No explanation why just full of rage? No, no reason. No, no explanation why just full of rage.

Catherine (Zanros):

I mean, at least there's an explanation as to why zanros is so mad oh yeah well, it, it?

James (Iquium):

it's funny like, look my mom's like four foot nine right and, and there is in in dnd, there's fury of the small, is it really? Yeah, it is a fury of the small, and I heard that and I'm like, oh my god, that's my, that's my mom like anybody I know that is five foot and below they have fury of the small and I used this explanation hi, hi, fable you, you have fables 411.

Fable (Dal):

Yeah, you have fury of the small, I can tell do you want to see a video of me tackling my friend to the floor?

Catherine (Zanros):

oh, the leap before it is just the best look, oh yeah I know that we've like fable and I just love you, sophia. Yeah, fable.

James (Iquium):

And I've just met at the beginning when we started, when we started playing, so if anybody wants to know that, so you have to understand your height immediately.

James (Iquium):

I'm like, yeah, I'm a little afraid because yeah, you're you have fury the small, and I can, I can already sense it. Yes, and and it's that and the the thing that I use to explain this is this everybody has anger, okay, and you have an average level of anger. There are people that have anger issues and they have more right. But if you take average size anger and you compress it into a smaller package, it becomes fury of the small. There you go, so makes sense nothing to be trifled with.

James (Iquium):

You should not like as much as really. Tall people will always be kind and reach the things on the higher selves and everything. It's just the opposite.

Andrew (DM):

Smaller people will kneecap you at their first opportunity, oh yeah, so am I wrong?

James (Iquium):

I'm not wrong all right.

Andrew (DM):

So let me, let me ask this question.

Catherine (Zanros):

Let's, let's, yes, let me circle this back to our our adventure, our adventure today, since it's not just us telling stories, right it's just story time, so I will always find a tangent.

James (Iquium):

I apologize, we're near now please forgive me, we're a bad combination oh my god so so there, there there are.

Andrew (DM):

Believe it or not, there are some things that you, you could, I I will say you could have done a better job questioning your red brand prisoner there. There was a lot more you could have learned from, from this person that you do not know. That would have really did.

James (Iquium):

We did ask him who they were holding captive.

Andrew (DM):

Yes.

James (Iquium):

We didn't get an answer.

Andrew (DM):

I will. I will tell you who they're holding captive, because you did.

Fable (Dal):

Is it the family of that dead dude?

Andrew (DM):

What dead dude.

Fable (Dal):

They killed a guy and then the family went missing.

Andrew (DM):

Okay, see Someone's paying attention.

Fable (Dal):

That's kind of what I thought.

Andrew (DM):

Thank you, Fable.

James (Iquium):

Are you keeping notes, Fable.

Fable (Dal):

Yes.

James (Iquium):

I also just remembered that.

Fable (Dal):

I don't think that's written down.

James (Iquium):

Okay, but that's accurate Good memory, yeah, yeah.

Andrew (DM):

So yeah, so there is Myrna Dendrar and her teenage children, nars and Nilsa Nars and Nilsa 13-year-old Nars and 18-year-old Nilsa.

Catherine (Zanros):

Where's their mother?

Andrew (DM):

Remember, a couple days ago the Red Brains murdered Myrna's husband Fell, or I wouldn't say I mean supposedly they killed him.

Fable (Dal):

Oh really, wasn't he found dead?

James (Iquium):

No, god damn it, he wasn't found dead.

Andrew (DM):

No, because my thought when we heard that was Well, no, I think they know that he was killed, but no body was found.

James (Iquium):

No body was found. Okay.

Andrew (DM):

Let's put it that way.

James (Iquium):

Carver, Because he stood up to them right or he did not.

Catherine (Zanros):

And now there's an urban legend that if you pass by at a certain time of night in your wagon, you see the ghost of Fel.

Andrew (DM):

So funny, so funny, but there I want to. There are some surprises in Tresendor Manor and I was. I was hoping you would ask some more questions, but now you're just going to have to.

Catherine (Zanros):

Can't we just pamper? Him with questions on our way to the manor.

Fable (Dal):

Instead of are we there, yet Are we there?

Catherine (Zanros):

yet.

Andrew (DM):

It's a very short walk.

Fable (Dal):

I'll make it long. It's not that far my legs are short too.

Catherine (Zanros):

How fast do I move? Not as fast as everybody else.

Andrew (DM):

And you have to figure out what and it's funny because you think about interrogation.

James (Iquium):

I think what else should we ask, like how many? Okay, how many are we facing?

Catherine (Zanros):

What else?

James (Iquium):

is in there with you. What else is you know, what else is there? That would have been a good question to ask. Yeah, uh, because I thought when I walked in and I and I rolled persuasion and I got that beautiful nat 20 and then I didn't roll anything close to it.

James (Iquium):

Well, I rolled 17 or 18 yeah but um yeah, but I was just trying to think it's not Clark. Oh, they work for Spider. It's not King Groll, because those are goblins and these guys apparently hate the goblins. As we were talking to him, I'm like, okay, well, that could be a workplace problem for.

Andrew:

Zanros Sure sure.

James (Iquium):

You have your employees hating one another. It's like okay.

Andrew (DM):

I know that you're going to have all sorts of issues with employee relations. You better hire someone really good at HR.

Catherine (Zanros):

What you're saying, that Zanros isn't good at HR. She's a people person. She's a people rock gnome. Oh is she? No, she's just a ball of rage. Listen, she might be better with people. I mean, she was pretty chill when she was bringing all the gnomes on the goblins on board.

James (Iquium):

The problem is, the more time they spend in this town, the more she finds out just how horrendous the situation is at jacinda manor, and she's pissed yeah, trisender manor is basically a shithole, so you're also fired, fired, fired, fired well, it's funny because when I looked at the map again today I was like yeah, it is actually part of the reason I asked you if we had access to the map as players, because you can kind of look and see that most of Trescender Manor looks like it's ruins.

Andrew (DM):

Yes, it is. There's very little of the upper structure left to Trescender Manor of the upper structure left to Tresendor Manor.

Catherine (Zanros):

I'm hopeful that the citizens of Phandalin will be so grateful for us ridding them of the red brands that they'll have a little bit of a barn raising for Tresendor Manor and everybody will pitch in.

Andrew (DM):

You know. So you brought this up, catherine, during gameplay. Yes, brought this up, catherine, during during gameplay, and you may want to. So, if the red brands are the the main clientele of the sleeping giant right.

Andrew (DM):

Greska might make an excellent cook that's fair for the Bumble Bumble B&B, because there's there's a potential for Greska to lose a lot of business once, once the red brands are removed from the area. Yeah, so so you might want to consider hiring hiring Greska to to cook and and Greska might be a good, strong person to help you rebuild the Bumble Bumble B&B. So, that's something to think about.

James (Iquium):

So basically, writing bad customer on dead bodies was probably not a good idea Correct.

Catherine (Zanros):

That's why we didn't do that.

Andrew (DM):

You would have drawn more red brands to like. They would have seen that Like. If you hadn't immediately gone to Tresenderman, you would have drawn the ire of other red brands and would have had to face other red brands in town probably. But Harbin is not a very brave person, clearly.

James (Iquium):

He's not the cops, he's just kind of and there is a conspicuous absence of any sort of town guard or anything. Yes, exactly At this point.

Andrew (DM):

So that's why he was very concerned that you killing these guys was going to make it even worse, Right right, Because, like I said, it could go either way. People could be really happy that, okay, hey, you're clearing things out, or oh God.

James (Iquium):

You're making trouble for us.

Andrew (DM):

Yeah, exactly, you know we're all used to giving them some money and and and keeping the peace. You know everything.

James (Iquium):

Everything's kind of we're not making a lot of money, but at least we're alive, right.

Andrew (DM):

Exactly, exactly so it's a tough, it's a tough situation.

Catherine (Zanros):

I mean we're just going to kill them all and then it'll be fine.

Andrew (DM):

That's the hope, yeah.

Fable (Dal):

And then everyone clapped.

James (Iquium):

And everyone helped me as far as the town not liking us because we're bringing more trouble.

Andrew (DM):

Feel like us when we win absolutely no was my attitude you'll be heroes, yeah and just for one day, I was waiting for that.

Catherine (Zanros):

I was like, no, it's coming.

Andrew (DM):

Can't help myself. So, yeah, so, yeah. So you will definitely be heroes in Van Dalen if you can rid them of the red brands, because that has been the bane of their existence for some time. Yeah, so next not next episode, but next session we will traverse Trescender Manor and all that it has to hold, which is very exciting. So you've got some prisoners to free.

James (Iquium):

You've got red brands to, I mean honestly I was hoping he would say a rock gnome of your acquaintance kind of thing. Yeah he would say, like a rock gnome of your acquaintance kind of thing so yeah, but we also know that gundren was more likely in the company of the crag maw goblins, the other crag maw goblins, right, right at crag maw castle.

Andrew (DM):

So so that that's some somewhere you're to have to go eventually. Um, yeah, so yeah, so you got some clearing out to do of whatever nasties may hide within trascender manor yeah, then we gotta get gundren and and again. You don't, you don't. As always, you don't have to kill them. You can either negotiate or encourage them to become employees of the B&B.

Catherine (Zanros):

I mean that red brand is not doing himself any favors, saying how my family thinks they're nobility.

James (Iquium):

What Well I thought I'm sitting over here going. He doesn't like goblins and he's just disparaged Xeners' family. That might not go well for him.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yeah, that's why he was fired, fired, fired.

Andrew (DM):

That's why I wanted to play him to see what you do with him. That's why he was fired, fired, fired. That's why I wanted to play him to see what you do with him. That's why I'm like, let me piss her off and see what she does. She is such a little ball of rage. I'm like let's see what happens.

Andrew:

Let's see what happens if we shake her.

Catherine (Zanros):

If you pick her up and shake her, she's going to kill you.

Andrew (DM):

Flurry of blows to the head. All right, guys, so let's call it for now. We will regroup in a month and take over Trescender Manor, the soon-to-be Bemble Bomble B&B. Who's going to finance the project for you? If you need a commercial lender, I know some people.

Catherine (Zanros):

Yeah, no, zan Rose is doing this on her own.

Andrew (DM):

Okay.

Catherine (Zanros):

She's collecting gold left and right. I think we'll be fine.

Andrew (DM):

Love it. All right. So thank you everyone for listening to this fun adventure. Yes, thank you all for playing and we will see you in a see you in a month. Well, I mean, we'll, we'll be back with more episodes between now and then, but we'll see this group and back in a month. Thank you so much, everyone. Bye.

Andrew:

Bye🎵.

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