Legends, Loot, & Lore: A Players's Guide to Dungeons and Dragons

Dice of Destiny: The Thrilling Trials of a Tenacious Trio

Andrew S Season 2 Episode 13

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Hold onto your helms, adventurers! Our latest episode of "Legends, Loot, and Lore" is a roller coaster of daring escapades and raucous laughter. Our intrepid trio, with Theo Pimble in tow, we embark on a journey fraught with traps, treasure, and tantalizing mysteries that will surely keep you on the edge of your seat. Our bespoke dice from Long Dog Dice rattle with the fate of Tresendar Manor, while our discussions on the nuances of attuning to magical items like the Cape of Enlargement will have you contemplating your own adventurer's toolkit.

Laugh along as the small but mighty Zanros leads the charge, wading through athletics checks with grace. And gasp as the mysterious rope in the water pits us against an unseen foe in a tug-of-war that tests both our strength and our nerve.

As we wrap up, you'll find yourself eagerly awaiting our next romp through Zanros's future B&B. Will our heroes successfully navigate the traps of Tresendar Manor? Can Iquium pass a strength check? And just what lies beyond those foreboding doors? Join us, dice in hand, for a narrative filled with the unexpected, the magical, and the downright entertaining. This isn't just another RPG podcast—it's a legend in the making.

Long Dog Dice - https://longdogdice.com/
Malevolent Dice - https://www.malevolentdice.com/
Sound Effects by Pocket Bard - https://www.pocketbard.app/

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Andrew

I'm just checking all the mic levels red leather yellow leather.

Catherine

Red leather yellow leather eleven benevolent elephants excellent.

James

La la ga ga la, la ga ga la la la unique New York unique New York yeah, it's a hard one unique, new

Andrew

york, welcome everyone. Yet again to legends, loot and lore, we've got another fun, exciting, what that was very william shatner of you.

Catherine

Thank you Welcome everyone.

James

We come from a federation of peaceful beings, a spa.

Andrew

Exactly, that's it.

Speaker 5

We're channeling Sorry you invoked the Shatner. I know we're invoking William.

Andrew

Shatner on today.

Catherine

It's always something always something hey. Mr Timmerman.

Andrew

Timmerman alright, so we are, we've got another. Yes, we were. William Shatner is in the studio with us today. We are. We're doing some more play of the Shattered obelisk, van Delver and blue. Very exciting with us, as always, are our well we're. We're now officially calling you co-host, catherine. I promoted myself, aka Zanros.

Fable

As you should.

Catherine

You got a promotion. Yeah, thank you, and like a real job that actually pays me and you have it.

Andrew

I know this is, this is amazing.

James

We're looking for that. You're now the busiest woman in show business.

Andrew

I am everything's coming up millhouse and so, yes, our co-host and resident, rock gnome.

Catherine

Yes.

Andrew

Resident rock gnome yes, there she is. And Fable. Hello, hello, fable. How are you? I'm good, how are you? I am so good, so good. Dee Dee is joining us as well over here, and none other than James.

James

Greetings and salutations.

Andrew

Equium. Equium of the multiple pronounced last name. Yes, depending Arabius.

Catherine

Equium Arabius Equium went to. Starbucks.

James

Yes, my birth certificate is a Starbucks cup. It's made of white erase material.

Catherine

I've got a latte for Avarious Chick-fil-A.

James

Chick-fil-A. I am Equium Chick-fil-A.

Catherine

Fable went to Chick-fil-A yesterday and their name was spelled F-I-B-A-L.

Fable

Yes, and they pronounced it feeble. I was like what the frick Feeble Chicken nuggets for feeble? I'm like it has to be me.

James

But if they had said fibble, you could have said I lied, I didn't fib, I lied Fibble. You could have said I lied, I didn't fib I lied Fibble.

Andrew

Fibble is almost like a Shakespearean.

Catherine

Tybalt, tybalt.

Andrew

I'm like thinking Tybalt.

James

Yeah, you are thinking, because I was thinking Tybalt as well, and the Friendlies used to have the Fribble.

Fable

I was offended.

James

They had the what they had the Fribble.

Catherine

It was a milkshake or something like that move that mic closer to you, we don't you know, closer to the mic either way. Either way, tippled is a character in magic, the gathering, so it's also relevant to interesting, fascinating right now. He was, so, I'm guessing, tippled's dead oh tippled was a red aligned secondary and black half-devil human planeswalker from the dark world of Innistrad.

Andrew

Well, well, well.

Catherine

Yep.

Andrew

Excellent. So now that we have all gathered here together, In the dining room In the dining room, the recording studio, the inner sanctum, the recording studio.

James

The inner sanctum.

Catherine

So, before we begin, I have something for all of you Presents Yay.

Andrew

Yay, presents. I think I just whacked your mic.

Catherine

You did.

Andrew

Sorry about that, stop that, stop that. So from one of my new favorite dice makers, long Dog Dice Fair enough, amazing. She makes amazing resin dice. Check her out on the Tiki Taki. She's on TikTok. You can watch her making dice. She's at cons. Check out long dog dice I have. So for the three of you, I spoke with with Jen from long dog dice and and had sets made specifically for your characters, so I sent over images of your characters. Your character sheets talked about the adventure that we were playing, went into all sorts of detail, so lots of thought and effort went into each one of these sets, making it unique New York for you, unique New York for you. And there is a very special D20 that is a part of each of your sets that may come in handy during this adventure. So we pass that to Equium.

Fable

I followed her for a long time, so I'm excited.

Andrew

Yes, dal and zan rose. Thank you, please feel free to to open these up again. I have. I have gone through the whole process with her on everything like inking which which dice to use, because there was different options on the D4, on the D12. So I went through and very specifically helped. She helped me craft this set for each of you. I love this. I feel like I'm in a theater with all the rustling paper. It's like shh stop opening your candy.

Catherine

Do you have to do that now?

Catherine

I like the card in here.

Catherine

May you always crit when you most need it.

Fable

I was just about to say is that what it says?

Catherine

Yeah, Nice sticker, I love it.

Andrew

Yes, always a sticker. So yeah, take a look at those dice. I'm very excited because I've only seen them in pictures. I haven't seen the actual items themselves.

Fable

What do yours look like?

Catherine

They're like blue and gold, which is the theme of this weekend, honestly, because those are also my cousin's uh winning colors and I was at the shower yesterday, so and then we all have the same shattered obelisk d20 yes, your d20 is a piece of the shattered obelisk. Oh, that's really pretty. Oh, that's awesome. Fables are purple and sparkly and inked with silver. Mine are inked with like a coppery gold. Really pretty.

Andrew

Yeah.

James

Mine are like. I don't know what the return is like. Malachite. Because they're like green and black and gold.

Andrew

Very much like the colors of your character and the image that you have of your character. That makes sense now.

James

Ah see, it's all coming together. You said that, and now it's coming together for you.

Andrew

Now it's all coming together, oh yeah.

Catherine

Those are awesome. Oh, look at my cool little D4.

Andrew

Yes, I love those D4s. Yeah little d4.

James

Yes, I love those d4s yeah, oh, wow, a little lantern, so cute and it's very cool.

Catherine

Yes, so those to take pictures of all the sets, and you got a set too right?

Andrew

I did get a set. I got a set.

Catherine

My set is entire, entirely themed of the shattered obelisk it's the black and oh yeah, because we used the the black light with it. Yes, they are they are glow-in-the-dark.

Andrew

So so the the d20s are glow-in-the-dark yeah, oh wow they are officially shattered obelisk. So there, there may be a time when you want to use that D20 in the game, because it may provide additional benefits to you in the game.

Catherine

All right, I was going to just roll with these today. We'll see how they treat me.

James

And for I really love the fact that they are not Like the D12. Not like the D12.

Speaker 5

Yes, the D12. The.

James

D12 is not a typical.

Andrew

I'll say typical D12 shape. It is not.

James

All the faces are diamonds.

Andrew

I think she refers to it as the rhombus shape Okay. That's awesome. I believe it's a rhombus-sided D12.

James

And both the 10-sided die and the percentile die are again a different geometry, which is really very cool. It's awesome.

Andrew

I'm super excited about these sets for everybody listening to the podcast. We have one shattered obelisk D 20 available for one listener. So if you email the podcast which is just podcast at legends, loot and lorecom we will do a drawing of everyone that submits their name and we'll say by the end of, by the end of this month, by the end of april 2024 um no you can't do that.

Catherine

This is the may May episode.

Andrew

Oh, this is the May episode.

Catherine

Oh, sweet Jesus, this is the first yeah, this is the live play for May.

Andrew

You know, I completely.

Catherine

So this will go on the 6th? Yes, so do you want to make it May 31st?

Andrew

So we will say so. We have the Shattered Obelisk D20, the glow in the dark D20, which is green and black like like the shattered obelisk itself, and we'll put a picture of it.

Andrew

We'll put a picture up on the socials and you can again email, email the podcast to podcast at legends, loot and lorecom. At the end of may 2024, we will do a drawing and one lucky listener will get a glow-in-the-dark, shattered obelisk d20 courtesy of the podcast, and long dog dice. These are so cool. They are very cool, thank you. I'm glad you like them. Thank you, you're. You're welcome. You like them, thank you.

Catherine

Andrew, and thank you Jen, because she just puts so much hard work into these and they're really phenomenal.

Andrew

There is so much thought and effort that went into each of these sets. It's incredible.

James

It's really awesome that you could work with her on that and very generous.

Catherine

Thank you very much and she's super nice becauseames and andrew and I met her in person at packs we met her at backs, unplugged.

Andrew

She was super nice yeah that's why, that's why I asked her to to make these sets for you, so enjoy thank you all um, may you, may you roll. Well, and what does the card say?

Catherine

It says may you always crit when you most need it.

Andrew

Absolutely.

James

May the odds be ever in your favor.

Andrew

Nice, wonderful, all right. So we've got some new dice to play with. Um, let me ask you all this. So let's do we, let's do a quick little recap. So so, where you really just fought the red brands at the Sleeping Giant, Yep yes. With the Surly Orc. Well, let's start with. Let's not get on about who killed who. So James Iquium decided to kick things off with a. Dissonant Whispers. Dissonant Whispers yes.

Andrew

That's my favorite, so, against the wishes of the party, cast Dissonant Whispers on one of the red brands and mayhem ensued. Admittedly, I thought of the red brands and and mayhem ensued.

James

Admittedly, I thought of the townspeople and and they trusted us. For us to do something that they didn't trust immediately would have, just you know something like that.

Andrew

Yeah, so so you, you handily killed three out of the four red brands. And what was the other one's name?

Catherine

Theo Pimble, theo Pimbleble it's a name that I find highly amusing theo pimble but we may have to just off him if he's not gonna. Yeah, conform yeah, theo is is very anti-goblin yeah, and we've got a whole bunch of goblins.

Andrew

You got a lot of goblins yeah, I don't know, but you may have more red brands, and so I mean do I want to employ the red brands, though I don't know like I'm into these goblins. Okay, they're gonna wear their little bow ties that's cool, so so let me ask this question. So you? So you're now. So where are you at this point? Are you still in the sleeping giant? Oh no, you were outside of the sleeping giant. What out back.

Catherine

Yeah.

Fable

Actually, no, we were on the Times Square, we were dragging his body. Yeah, oh, that's right.

Catherine

Because Harbin Wester, aka Harlan Coben, had just come out and given us a whole bunch of grief. Yes, because he's a pain in my butt us a whole bunch of grief.

Andrew

Yes, because he's a pain in my butt. Yes, yeah, I'm not a big fan of him. No, no, he's, he's not, he's, he's. No, he's not a politician, he's not. He's not there to, he's just kind of there to be. There be the head of the chamber of commerce and and kind of loosely run the town but loosely, that's a good word yeah, yeah exactly so spineless, yes, ma'am yeah, pretty much, pretty much.

Andrew

So let me ask this question what would you all like to do next? Would you do? You want to, I know, because I know the talk is about going to trisendor Manor, so you want to head there immediately. What is your next step in your adventure in this town, fable Dow.

Fable

Yes, what would you?

Andrew

like to do.

Fable

Put me on the spot.

Andrew

Yes, yes, Because you cause you, you got your, your, your connection with sister G.

Fable

Yes, I do.

Andrew

So there, there's always that. Do you want to? Where would you like to go next?

Fable

Chat with her and see if we can figure anything out about the manner.

Andrew

I don't know you can, you can ask sister, sister G, about, about your sender manor, and see, see what she knows. Would you like, I mean, would you like to do that? Sure, okay, so you're going to head back over to so sister, sister G's house is right by the shrine of luck, okay, two.

Catherine

So sister, sister g's house is right by the shrine. Of luck, okay, thank you, james, you want them out yes, please, thank you.

Catherine

Yes, please, thank you. Okay, all right, so we are somewhere by the town green right.

Andrew

Yeah, okay, so she's right there. She's literally right there, so we may as well.

Catherine

It's a hop, skip and a jump from where we are.

Fable

Yeah.

Catherine

Okay.

James

I think you should roll a dexterity check to see if it is an actually a hop skip and a jump.

Andrew

Well, that will be an athletics check. Oh, athletics check, Thank you. So would you like to roll an athletics check to see if you can hop, skip and jump over to Sister Gary Ells?

Catherine

Yeah, hold on. I got to see if that's a dexterity, so I'm plus four on dexterity.

Andrew

Well, what's your for acrobatics?

Catherine

Oh, acrobatics. Sorry, I thought, I thought it was dexterity Acrobatics.

Andrew

I am plus six Plus six, so you're plus six for acrobatics.

Catherine

All right, so I'm going to use my new shattered obelisk D20. Let obelisk d20.

Andrew

Let's see what rock on uh, an eight, uh, so 14, so 14. So you you easily handily hop, skip and jump over to sister garyll's house.

Catherine

Nicely, nicely done and then I get over there and I'm like why are you guys taking so? Long to get over here, Just a hop skip and a jump.

Andrew

So what would the other two of you like to do? Would you like to?

Fable

also hop skip.

Andrew

I would like to also hop, skip and jump.

Fable

I'll attempt.

Andrew

So let's go for an athletics check. That's a 13, a 13. So so again you. I mean amazingly enough, I mean because you're very, I mean you're you, you are athletic, so you know tall, but you still hop, skip and jump right and you land right next to Zanros hey Dal, now, now, equium.

Catherine

Yes, what would you like to do?

James

I'll avoid anything with athletics only because minus three. A hop skip and a pulled muscle. Yeah, yeah, but you know what Hop?

Speaker 5

skip and a fractured hip For the comedy of it For the comedy of it.

James

I will attempt, oh.

Catherine

God Right on.

James

A 10. That's with minus. It's 13 minus three.

Andrew

All right. So you, I got A 10. That's with minus it's 13 minus three. All right, so you? I got a 10. So you not?

James

Not graceful, I don't have to do the grace.

Andrew

There's no grace in this whatsoever, but you are successful in your hop, skip and jump. When you land there's a little bit of wobble, but you stick the landing and you're okay.

James

This is one of those moments where I just embrace Iquium for who he is and still question how is he possibly still alive?

Catherine

But anyway he must be a hell of a spellcaster.

Andrew

Well, I think a lot of it has to do with your patron, I think I think your your patron is.

James

He doth amuse me, so I'll keep him alive exactly exactly, look, he did it again all right.

Andrew

So you're, you're at Sister Gariel's house, and so, let's see, I'm trying to figure out what. So, what would you like to? So what are you going to do? You knock on the door. What are you going to?

Fable

Yeah, knock on the door, Knock on the door.

Andrew

The door slowly creaks open. Oh, hello again.

Catherine

What can I help you with, Sister Gariel? What?

Andrew

can I do you for hey neighbor? Hello, friend neighbor hello friend um.

Catherine

I was wondering if you had any information on trisender manor we're heading over there to try to clear out the red brands, but I suspect we've got more to deal with than just red brands oh you, you think so.

Andrew

Huh, that was real condescending yeah, I think so there, there, there is definitely more than meets the eye to to trascender manner robots in disguise what are?

James

politicians. I would have been so disappointed.

Catherine

Fable doesn't get the reference. It's a Transformers. Transformers were more than meets the eye robots in disguise.

Fable

I think we're all well aware.

Catherine

I don't yeah, I know, james was waiting.

James

I am Optimus Prime, your maitre d for the Bumble Bumble that would be amazing.

Catherine

look, waiting, I am Optimus Prime, your maitre d' for the Bumble Bumble. That would be amazing. Look, we're run by the AllSpark. Sorry, we've gone off the rails.

Andrew

That's alright. So yes, there's definitely, I believe, more to Tresendermanor than just the, than just the red brands. You know I have been stationed here in Phandalin to keep an eye on the red brands and report back to the leadership of the Harpers about what they're doing. You know, I fear they haven't done anything terrible. You know, it's just a matter of trying to kind of keep them in check at the moment. You know, if anything were to get worse, we might have to call in reinforcements. Were to get worse, we might have to call in reinforcements. But right now it's just kind of maintaining the status quo. Harbin Wester is really not that he may be the town master, but clearly he's not the one running this town. Running this town, but but fortunately for for the town I am here to to help keep an eye and keep things from getting too out of hand so, aside from the red brands, anything you know, about in trisender manor red brands, anything you know about in trisender manor.

Catherine

Like we know there's red brands. We know there's some prisoners. That's about the extent of what we know, because, um, we've got this one hostage. His name is theo pimble. He's a real pain in my butt. Um, he told us there are people being held there, but that's really all we know.

Andrew

Well, you know who the leader of the Red Brands is in the area.

Catherine

Yes, I have it in my notes.

Andrew

Oh good, You're taking notes Fantastic.

Speaker 5

Fantastic.

Fable

Somewhere in here.

Catherine

Glasstaff.

Andrew

Yes, Glasstaff. What's his situation. I don't know much about him.

Catherine

Do not underestimate the power that Glass Staff has Equium, I think we might need to Rickroll him.

James

I'd love to Alright so.

Speaker 5

Glass Staff we need to. All right so glass staff.

Catherine

We need to be careful of any other red brands who have any kind of like you know abilities other than being idiots.

Andrew

The red brands are really just a bunch of ruffians. They're they'reuffians, they're hired mercenaries.

Catherine

Hooligans yes, nair duels.

Andrew

Yes, because, again, how often do they do well, nair, nair, they nair do well.

James

So if you've got, short shorts and nairs for short shorts. Do you not do well with nair short shorts? Do not do well with near, or do you not do well with short shorts? I'm really not sure, anyway, wow I went there, I know I'm

Catherine

gonna have that in my head the rest of the day. Thanks, james, love you, so you were love you too, so you were Sorry it's my brain.

Andrew

About what else might be in Tresendor Manor. Yeah, so the one known as the spider oh has sent some bugbears to provide backup to the red brands.

Catherine

Any owlbears. I love owlbears.

Andrew

No, but there's something important you should know about the bugbears. Uh-oh, they wear short shorts.

Catherine

Can we defeat them with Nair?

Andrew

If they dare wear short shorts.

Catherine

Nair for short shorts.

James

We know, we're just wondering can we defeat them with the Nair? What have I done?

Andrew

You brought this you. You brought this upon yourself.

James

This is the look of instant regret.

Andrew

So there are, there are bug bears in there, there is, there is something also known as the guardian okay, so we have um why's everybody got nicknames?

Catherine

Do I get? A nickname Like Small but Surly.

James

Okay, so just Smurly.

Catherine

Smurly, swirly.

James

Swirly, wow Swirly.

Catherine

It's gone out of control Wait wait, wait.

James

Swirly is when you hold somebody upside down over the toilet bowl, right.

Catherine

Swirly was what Swirly is when you hold somebody upside down under the toilet bowl. Swirly was what some girl was convinced was. I can't think of his name now Barney. Barney's name on how I Met your Mother, nice.

James

Swirly.

Andrew

Yes, a swirly is different Swirly, swirly, swirly.

James

Yes, a swirly is different. Swirly, swirly, swirly.

Andrew

Okay, If you defeat bugbears with nair, you can defeat the guardian. You give the guardian a swirly.

James

Yes, nailed it. You got that in the notes.

Andrew

Catherine's taking down copious notes on this Swirly the guardian. I'm putting it all in Right.

Catherine

Swirly.

James

the Guardian I'm putting it all in caps Swirly. So if we give the British newspaper, Bugbears. Nair. If we put the British newspaper in a toilet and hit the bugbears with Nair, we're good.

Andrew

Yes.

James

Okay, right, the Guardian is another.

Catherine

It is yes.

Andrew

You nailed it.

Catherine

Yeah, okay.

Catherine

Excellent, you know, the jokes are really good when you have to explain the jokes.

James

It's so good this joke is so funny, I'm going to have to explain it to you. Let me tell you everything about it. Let me tell you why it's so funny. Let me tell you its etymology. It once started out as a knock-knock, but then it transcended into three minutes of stand-up.

Andrew

You see, it started with this guy from Nantucket. Oh no, oh my, anyway, so, yes, so there are the red brands, so we've got red brands. There are. There's Glass Staff. Yes, there are Bugbe's glass staff. Yes, there are bug bears yeah, there is the guardian.

Catherine

The guardian, who's hopefully in a bathroom.

Andrew

Hopefully, hopefully there's a.

Catherine

Cause we need to swirl him. Yes.

Fable

We can. We can get him in a bathroom, Probably.

Andrew

Hopefully, hopefully there's a source of water.

Catherine

I was going to say maybe we can get them outside into like a source of water. I was going to say maybe we can get him outside into like a pool of water and like we can find a way to like whip it up real fast, like maybe Equium has a spell or something, a little mage hand a little unseen servant.

James

Yeah, just like get it really going and then just hold his head in Yep.

Catherine

totally the dowel's pretty strong and I'm pretty angry. That's a great combo. You got this head in Yep totally the dowel's pretty strong and I'm pretty angry. That's a great combo.

Andrew

You got this.

James

Yeah, wait. So he has strength, rage and the possibility that I could die at any moment.

Catherine

The possibility that all your bones are just going to crack spontaneously, you're going to turn to death.

James

What happened? He lifted the stapler and all his bones shattered.

Catherine

He breathed wrong, he breathed wrong he sneezed, he sneezed.

James

It's a lot of breath.

Fable

It's a lot of breath.

Andrew

So before, oh no.

Catherine

He's got the cards out.

Andrew

Before you finish with Sister Gariel yes. She says I'm concerned. I have a few things I would like to give you.

Catherine

We like gifts.

Andrew

To help protect you and keep you safe when you try to clear out the red brands and everything else that is in Trescender manner. I want to see you be successful.

Catherine

Pocket part.

Andrew

Yes, I will. Okay, I will get to that.

Catherine

Sorry.

Andrew

I was going to say that more for once, we get into the manner Got it.

Catherine

Okay, I will get to that.

Andrew

Sorry, I was going to say that more for once. We get into the manner itself. Got it Okay, so that's what I get for trying to help, thank you.

Using Magical Items and Making Plans

James

Certainly not shirking your co-host duties.

Andrew

No, no, no, not at all Carry on. So Sister Gariel closes the door, goes you hear her kind of rummaging around inside and she opens the door again and comes back out and she hands something a grayish purple cape to Zanros.

Catherine

Ooh, hang on, not yet yeah.

Andrew

A what appears to be A staff. Made of glass For Equium, dank u Chef. Made of glass For equilibrium Dankeschön.

Fable

The glass part is fitting.

Andrew

And what appears to be a mace, Handing that to Dow. Would you like to read about? Tell us about your item, I would. I would explain this myself, but I handed them to you, so so you don't know. So no, I know what they are, but I want you to. So you received the Cape, zanros. Yes, you received the Cape of enlargement.

Catherine

Yes, you received the Cape of enlargement Before I read about it. I do have a question. Yes, it says it requires attunement, and I don't know what attunement is.

Andrew

You have to attune to the item. So you have James.

James

You have to spend a prerequisite amount of time basically getting to know the item.

Catherine

Okay.

James

And you're attuning to it in the way that you are able to. It's almost, it becomes an extension of you Did you watch the D&D movie.

Fable

Remember the helmet? Yeah, did you attune to the helmet?

Catherine

Oh, yes, yes, yes yes, yes Okay. Okay.

Andrew

Exactly so. You have to become one with the cape.

Catherine

It's like Dr Strange's cape.

Andrew

Sort of yes.

Catherine

Okay, all right. So cape of enlargement. Wondrous item, very rare, requires attunement. Ancient runes are stitched in silver thread along the hem of this grayish purple cape. The cape has three charges. As a bonus action, while wearing the cape, you can expend one of its charges to enlarge yourself, granting yourself the following benefits your size increases by one category, from medium to large, for example. If there isn't enough room for your size to increase by one category, you instead become the maximum possible size in the space available. You have advantage on strength checks and strength saving throws. Yes, yes, until you use another bonus action to dismiss them. The cape regains 1d3 expended charges daily at dawn. Yes.

Andrew

Nice, Exciting Dao, you received what is it called.

Fable

The Lightbringer Mace.

Andrew

The Lightbringer Mace.

Fable

It is rare you have a plus one bonus to attack and damage rolls made with Lightbringer. This weapon was made for a cleric of Lathander, the god of dawn. The head of the mace is shaped like a sunburst and is made of solid brass. The mace glows as bright as a torch when its wielder commands. While glowing, the mace deals an extra 1d6 radiant damage to undead creatures.

Andrew

Hmm, very exciting Very nice.

James

James. Yes, equium, I have received a Staff of Defense. Rare item Requires attunement. This slender, hollow staff is made of glass yet is as strong as oak, which is more than I can say for Iquium. It weighs three pounds, so more than Iquium. Yes, while holding the staff, you have a plus one bonus to your armor class. Staff has its spells. The staff has 10 charges and while holding it you can expend the requisite number of charges to cast one of the following spells from staff mage armor one charge or shield, two charges and regains 1d6 plus four expended charges daily. At dawn, if you expend the staff's last charge and roll on a d20 on a one, the shaft shatters and is destroyed.

Catherine

Mmm fascinating so how long does it take to attune to an item like can I attune to the cape on the way to Trisender Manor? That's a pretty short walk yeah, I don't think it's a hop, skip and a jump, and I'm sure the cape will be impressed by that. Yes, so no I figured I just that's why I wanted to know how long it'll probably take about.

Andrew

I would, let's say I gotta get. I gotta get to my dice tray here. I've got too many things going on. Wait, where am I Like? Where are my Shattered Obelisk dice?

Catherine

Oh, the bag was Right here. Oh, you have it, okay.

Andrew

Okay, the bag was right here. Oh, you have it okay, okay, so it will take approximately 13 hours how dare you? To attune to your item. James, how dare you To attune? To your item, james, it will take you only eight hours to attune to your item. So what would you like to do now? Now? So, Sister Gariel, again she says, I wish you well on your journey and best of luck to you clearing out Tresendor Manor. I look forward to the new B&B once it is built.

Catherine

Why, thanks? Please come over for a free dinner when we're open.

Andrew

Ooh, thank you, that's very kind of you.

Catherine

You've been very helpful. Harbin Wester does not get a free meal.

Andrew

I don't think there's a meal he's ever said no to.

Catherine

I'm saying no to a meal for him.

Andrew

He won't miss it. So where would you like to go next? You've got some time you need to attune to your items.

James

Yeah, I mean, we can.

Catherine

I mean, the other thing we need to do is go to Craigmaw Castle. Yeah so we either go into Tresunder Manor without attuning to our items or we hang out in the woods with the goblins for a while.

Andrew

Or you could also go back to what's his name. Is it the Stonehill Inn?

Fable

Oh, Sildar Sildar, yeah, maybe we should swing by and see Sildar Sildar, sildar, yeah, maybe we should swing by and see Sildar.

James

We can check on Sildar.

Fable

I forgot about him.

Catherine

I mean he's no.

Catherine

Gundren but you know that's not Dondren, only you've met. Gundren we don't know, gundren, yeah, yeah.

Fable

We don't know, gundren.

James

Yeah, yeah, let's go to the Stonehill Inn and.

Fable

I will go talk to Sildar and see if he's any better. Should we go to Kragmaw Castle first?

Catherine

Maybe he got us our gold. Oh yeah, the thing is no matter where we go, we're going to get our ass beat go.

Meeting With Sildar and Theo Pimble

Fable

We're going to have to fight, so it's just a matter of where we want to go well, it takes a bit to get to Kragmont Castle, so maybe by the time we get there you're attuned to your items fair okay, so what's the plan?

Andrew

James thoughts you want to go see Sildar? You could always take a long rest. I I want to go see, so I mean you could, you could always take a long rest and I was going to say we should probably take a long rest instead of yeah, yeah because then if we're attuned to everything, then we can, just because it's not going to take us how long is a long rest like eight?

Catherine

hours okay, I'm still not attuned well but you could so.

Andrew

So let's say right now it's probably about it's about five in the evening. So between dinner and post dinner and then going to sleep, I'll still be about 13, 13 hours. So by morning, by morning you should be attuned to. We'll say you'll be attuned by the morning. So again, what's the? You're going to go to the Stonehill Inn.

Catherine

Check in on Sildar See if he's got our gold.

James

Give him our money, Sildar he said he was good for it, but we'll see if he's up and about. Clearly we heal faster than he does, but of course he was beaten for how many?

Catherine

Right, Vincent is already back up and great, and he had multiple broken legs and a dislocated shoulder. So really I think Sildur is just kind of a whiner.

Andrew

Wow, it was a joke. No love for Sildar it was a joke.

Fable

I like him when he pays me.

Speaker 5

Yeah, if he's got our money, then I think he's great.

Andrew

All right. So you go to the Stonehill Inn. You go upstairs, you find Sildar's room. You're going to knock on the door. Okay, I guess. Yes, yeah, okay, there you go, excellent.

James

We just flew in and boy are my arms tired.

Andrew

Oh geez, all right. So Sildar opens the door, he goes. Oh my friends, he goes. Good to see you again. He's like I am. I am feeling much better now. I do have your money, by the way, yeah.

Speaker 5

Great to see you.

Fable

Glad you're up. You're a ship. What's the saying? Glad you're feeling better.

James

Yes, congratulations on not being dead thank you.

Andrew

Thank you for that. So I've I've set up office at the at the town master's hall. I've got the money in the safe there. I will, I can give it to you. You know, stay here tonight. We'll go over there in the morning, I'll give you the money and then you can do whatever you want to do from from there.

James

Are you um? Are you up for looking for Gundren?

Andrew

Where is Gundren? I thought he was last I heard he was at the Kragmaw Castle.

James

Well, we're going to go to Trescender Manor tomorrow. Would you like to join us? We think these things might be connected just so you're fully informed.

Catherine

Here's what I know about trisender manor. There's a guy named glass staff, which is a really stupid name. There's bug bears who can be defeated with nair, there's a guy called the guardian, who we can apparently defeat using a swirly, and there's a bunch of red brands, and all of them are trespassing.

Andrew

Unfortunately, I do have business in town here tomorrow and I cannot. I must attend to it. I cannot join you on this, on this quest.

Catherine

Was it the Nair or the Swirlies?

Fable

I think it was the Swirlies.

Catherine

Probably.

Andrew

It was neither. I just have business I must attend to as part as being of the Lord's Alliance. I what's the Lord's?

Catherine

Alliance Got a lot of money.

Andrew

We are defenders of the defenseless.

Catherine

Is that why you hold up at the townmaster's office? Because Harbin Wester is defenseless.

Andrew

Pretty much I like.

Catherine

Sildar.

Andrew

I have. There was another member of our, our clan here, a man by the name of Yarno Albrecht easy for you to say Yarno, albrecht, yarno, albrecht, yarno. Albrecht.

Catherine

I don't think there's a T.

Andrew

There's not. Would you like some, though? That's a great idea. Would you like some tea?

Catherine

I would love some tea.

Andrew

Alright, let me call for room service.

Catherine

Hey room service.

Speaker 5

I knew that was what was about to happen. I knew it.

James

I was hoping it didn't disappoint. It did not disappoint.

Andrew

A small creature comes up the stairs. Yes, sir. Tea, tea for the four of us.

Catherine

Yes, sir Goes downstairs and you think that guy's happy working here. Nope.

Fable

I'm looking to poach some employees.

Catherine

Give him a sock and then maybe home.

Andrew

Dobby is a free elf. I wouldn't go making enemies Enemies of the other businesses in town.

James

Yeah, you want to have a good standing on the.

Andrew

Chamber of Commerce. Yes, absolutely yeah.

Catherine

I could use all the help I can get right now I understand, but you might want to reconsider.

Andrew

I'm just saying you may want to reconsider trying to poach employees from the other businesses in town because you're going to need permits and things and they can make it very difficult for you to to try to rebuild. If. If you start doing that, what would you like to do?

Catherine

What me? Yes, yes you.

James

How is the tea?

Catherine

Yeah, I just want to drink tea. I'm not really poaching employees, okay, I'm just asking.

Andrew

No, you, you, I'm just asking. No, you brought it up so I wanted to know if you actually wanted to. No, okay, you just want the tea? Yeah, I understand.

James

Here's the tea Yarno. Albrecht is also part of the Lords Alliance.

Andrew

Yes.

James

And so I'm a little concerned that you're not as concerned for gundren after we rescued you, like you know. That's my question, I'm sorry. Why are you not as concerned for gundren as as I think you should be?

Andrew

I. I'm still looking for gundren, but we we know where he is, however, yarno. The issue with Yarno is he was here in Phandalin and my sources, the last person I talked to, saw him around Tresendor Manor they saw Gundren. No or Yarno.

Catherine

Where the hell has Yarno gone? He's at my B&B as well.

Andrew

He was probably scoping it out to perhaps plan an attack on defeating the Red Brands or just doing reconnaissance to bring a larger group of people in to clear out the red brands. But apparently he's gone.

Catherine

He's gone missing okay, I wonder if he's among the prisoners that that stupid pimble guy mentioned.

James

Oh, I wonder I wonder, hmm, and what did we do with Theo Pimble?

Catherine

Yeah, I don't know. Is he tied up behind the surly orc he was going to come with us?

Andrew

No, because you brought him. I thought you brought him into. Oh, so is he like we tied him?

Fable

up at the.

Catherine

Is he downstairs? What did we do with this guy? Didn't?

Fable

we tie him up at the town square. Who did we tie up at the town? No, that was a dead guy. We dragged the dead guy.

James

That was a dead guy, but he was with us, he was, he was with us, so is he still with us.

Catherine

I forget, did we gag?

Fable

him.

Andrew

I think Theo is still with you.

Fable

Oh, sorry, bro, that's what that smell is oh yeah.

James

The whole time he's just standing behind me. She's like so this Theo Thimmel guy, so this Theomar.

Catherine

Pimble guy have you ever heard a stupider name.

Speaker 5

Hi I'm right here.

Andrew

That would be me. I've heard of stupider names Zanros, zanros.

Catherine

Bumble. Bumble was my grandmother's name and my great grandmother's name and it comes from a long line of royalty, yeah, royals in your family, pimble.

James

I mean, he does sound like he comes from a long line of insurance salesmen. That's just my thought I was, you know, just thinking out loud here, just work stuff.

Catherine

we got two issues here. Pimble, you got a smart mouth and your employment is contingent upon me saying that you can be employed.

Speaker 5

So maybe shut up.

Catherine

I liked the part where I didn't remember you were with us.

James

I'm going to pull Theo aside just to a corner and go, okay. So what's the deal? What do you know about the guardian and and the um and these bug bears? Have you met any of the bug bears? Do you know of them yet?

Andrew

I, I don't. I don't know anything about the bug bears. I, I, I so wanted to. Now you said theo pimble is an insurance salesman. I just want to go, phil.

Catherine

Phil connors yes, theo, that's him, it's canon.

James

It's it's him, that's him, that is him wait. It's canon, it's him, that's him, that is him Wait.

Catherine

That's fantastic, is Pimble somehow shortened from Ryerson.

Speaker 5

Ned Ned Ryerson, ned Theo Theo Pimble.

Andrew

All right. So you're having, you're still having tea with Sildar. Yes, how winter is how winter with Sildar. Yes, how winter is how winter.

James

So they're how winter yes.

Andrew

Don't like that. So you you know that yarn oh is missing was last spotted by Trescender manner. You've got some time to attune to your new items. However, how much of the tea have you had to drink?

Fable

Oh God.

Catherine

I don't want to tell you.

Andrew

I'm just messing with you. There's nothing wrong with the tea I was going to say about 50%.

James

I literally rolled percent on it. How much would I have drank?

Andrew

How much would I have drank? That's what I was rolling to. No, so the tea is delicious, earl Grey piping hot.

Catherine

Damn it.

Speaker 5

Damn it, ickman, just swallow the wrong way again.

James

Where'd Sputzi eat? The plate the wrong way again. Where'd Sputzi eat? The plate so what would you like to do next? I think we take our long rest yeah.

Andrew

We can be long. Okay, so you take a nice long rest. I guess you're going to sleep on the floor and there's not enough beds in this or you're going to try to get get rooms for the night. I don't want to spend money, so you're saving every penny up for the Bumble. Bumble B&B, so okay so you're going to sleep on the floor of Sildar's as long as he's cool with that he's fine, he doesn't care.

Catherine

You guys saved his life, so that's the least he can do also I'm very small, so it's not like I take up a ton of room?

Fable

not at all.

Andrew

Yeah, dal, what are you doing?

Fable

I'm also sleeping on the floor, but I take a little bit more room.

Catherine

That's all right, you can just spoon Zanros, okay, aww People, let me tell you about my best friend.

James

Equium. I have a question.

Andrew

Yes.

James

So the staff that I had before, I can use the staff of defense as my arcane focus right.

Andrew

I don't see why not.

James

Because it's a tune.

Andrew

Yeah.

James

Right, and the other staff is not a magical staff, it's just.

Andrew

Yeah.

James

Which I focus, okay, right.

Andrew

I don't see. Why not?

James

I don't see why I didn't see, why not I just?

Andrew

I'm okay with that. I figured I would ask just to make sure, make sure you take a long rest in D&D Beyond so it resets anything if you had used any spell slots or anything like that or had lost any HP.

Catherine

Make sure you reset all that. I already did it.

Andrew

Excellent Dal, you good Alright. Iquam, I'm good Alright, so that's the All right Equium.

Catherine

I'm good, all right.

Fable

So that's the extent of my Spanish knowledge.

Andrew

Dawn raises.

Speaker 5

Sun rises the next morning.

James

I was ready for you to say dawn breaks, you all, take 10 points of damage.

Catherine

Dawn breaks you all. Burst into flames and find out you're vampires.

Andrew

That's right.

Fable

That's not how Twilight goes.

James

Actually, that's a really good plot hook for everybody's characters.

Speaker 5

Dawn breaks and they all burst into flames. Oh, that sounds like a great time to mention.

James

What are we being hit by the sun?

Andrew

Hot Topic has Team Jacob. Oh, that sounds like a great time to mention. What are we being?

Fable

hit by the sun. The sun Hot Topic has Team Jacob shirts, but not Team Edward.

Andrew

Right.

Fable

So I think I know what side they're taking.

Andrew

Yeah, absolutely. So you're up in the morning, sildar, again he goes. You know, good luck to you all. He goes again. He goes, join me, follow me down to the town master's hall so I can repay you finally. Sure, so you exit the Stonehill Inn, just walk just around the corner, basically to the town master's hall, and he goes inside. He's fiddling with the safe, he pulls out the money I think it was $. Inside he's fiddling with the safe, he pulls out the money, I think it was 200. Does someone have the?

Fable

notes on that. I definitely have it.

Andrew

Was it 200 gold pieces he was rewarding you with.

Catherine

I didn't think it was that much.

Andrew

Or just 50. I can't remember if it was 50 or 200.

Speaker 5

I thought it was 50.

Fable

The 50 was the supplies that we got and gave them.

Catherine

Right, was it 100? That's probably 200 gold piece reward.

James

Yes, well, there's 100 gold piece reward to take Glass Staff out. Yeah, Sildar offers to pay the party 50 gold pieces.

Andrew

Yes, well, there's 100 gold piece reward to take Glass Staff out. Yeah, sildar offers to pay the party 50 gold pieces to escort him.

Catherine

Yeah, I thought it was 50.

Andrew

Okay.

Catherine

So we're just splitting that up and giving the extra to the goblins again.

Fable

Was it 50 each or 50 general?

Andrew

50 altogether. Okay, so you guys split that up.

Catherine

We get 16 each, and then we give two to the goblins to fight over.

Andrew

Excellent, all right, everybody has that in their inventory now.

Catherine

I'm working on it.

Andrew

Okay.

Catherine

I don't remember where my inventory is.

Fable

You know, when you click like actions, it's a. You know, when you click Like actions, it's a tab in that.

James

So 16 gold, and what?

Andrew

That's it 16 gold it looks like this the goblins get 2 gold.

Catherine

That.

Catherine

Oh I see, action got it, thank you. Inventory. Inventory Got it, thank you.

Andrew

Inventory. Inventory Cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching, adjust gold. All right, now you're in the town center. You've just been paid by Sildar, so what would you like to do? Are you going to finally head out to Trescender Manor? Yes, yes.

Exploring the Ruined Manor Cellar

James

Yes, how many days will?

Andrew

it take us to get there Not even a full day.

James

Fantastic. I believe you said five minutes. That's why I asked, Because you looked at me like what are you talking about, James Days? Moments, all right, so you have to roll three hop skips and a jump to get there.

Andrew

That's right. How many hop, skips and jumps is it to Trescender Manor?

James

If you fail three times, you're dead. All right, everybody paying attention.

Andrew

Yep, all right, so you're going to enter. You're finally going to get up to the manor.

Catherine

Oh crap, this is a lot more work than I anticipated.

Fable

This looks rather dilapidated.

Catherine

Thanks.

Andrew

The deserted manor grounds have plenty of tracks leading to a stone staircase just off the empty ruin of a large kitchen. At the bottom of the stairs stands an unlocked door with something beyond it. Again you're at the manor. Again, it's just utter ruins.

Catherine

at this point, so we've got a door. There's something behind it. Just thinking about what Zanrose is going through at the moment, I'm gonna say Zanrose is going to burst through the door, as long as you two are alright with that. Look at your face.

James

I'm just fucking with you god first the poison tea, then the exploding door.

Andrew

Exactly he's trying to get smothered.

James

All slated.

Catherine

Happily ever after.

Catherine

Okay, guys, I'm just going in this is freaking stupid. This is my house.

Andrew

Whose house? Zanros's house.

Fable

Zanros's world we just live in.

Andrew

That's right, all right.

Catherine

I open the door.

Andrew

Roll me, I'm just kidding. The door opens onto a five-foot-wide landing, that is, 15 feet above a large cellar with stone steps descending to the floor in two short flights. Another door stands beneath the stairs to the north. A large stone cistern occupies the Western part of the room, whose walls are lined with kegs and barrels. What would you like to do? What's? What's the order? You're going in first. Obviously Zanros is in first. Who's following Zanros?

Fable

I'll take the back, so you're going to take the back.

Andrew

Okay, so You're in the middle. I'll take the back. You're going to take the back.

James

Okay, iguam, you're in the middle and we have Theo Pimble with us.

Fable

Oh shit, yeah.

James

And Theo Pimble. I keep forgetting about that guy. Actually, we should probably go in, because didn't we take their? We took their capes, the Red Brands capes.

Andrew

He has one and, if I do recall, recall they were either too short or too long, so we'll make it look um I'm gonna walk through the door, like you're thinking we're having prisoners okay, so wait. So you're gonna dress're going to wear a cape.

James

Yeah, I'm wearing one of the Red Brands capes.

Andrew

So you and Theo are going to pretend? Well, he is a Red Brand.

Catherine

Yeah.

Andrew

So you're going to also pose as a Red Brand, but Xanros has already burst through the door you can just pretend I'm an escaped prisoner.

Catherine

Get back here. Yeah, I'm so spry. Get back here, yeah.

James

I'm so spry. Go after her.

Andrew

Okay, so what's happening? So how are you dealing with that?

James

We go right in after Zanros, as if we're chasing them.

Andrew

Okay, so remember there's two flights. So you're on a, on a five foot landing. There's two flights of stairs down to the open area of this, the cellar so there's no, there's no ceiling, there's no floor, it's just steps down.

James

Is that in my steps?

Andrew

down is that in life, well here, well there, there's sort of because there's there's the ruins of the, the kitchen. We're above this, so so there is a ceiling to it okay but it's.

Andrew

This was what 15 15 feet high from from where you are. It is. What did it say? 15 feet above a large cellar, so you're at a five-foot-wide landing and it's 15 feet down, so it's probably about 20 feet from floor to ceiling. At the very bottom, at the bottom of the stairs, there's a door to the north and then to the west. In the western side of this room of the cellar is the cistern.

James

There's all sorts of kegs and barrels around okay there's also.

Andrew

There's also a door just northwest. So there's some barrels. Yeah, the cistern to the west, north of the north of the cistern, are some barrels and there's a door between the barrels and the cistern there and then there's a door between, kind of underneath the staircase heading north okay, so my apologies, we're on a five foot landing yes, 15 foot and we're looking out.

James

You're looking down into the cellar. Down into the cellar, but on either side of this, landing, yes, is stairs going down on either side, on either side of the landing or stairs going down. You've got stairs going down, okay, and at the bottom of those, how, how, how far down does each staircase go? Is it like a 10 foot, is it like a five foot, then down to another landing, or is it like a? Like a really long?

Andrew

staircase, no go, it's two sets of, so it goes down to a landing and then down to the floor of the of the cellar on each side.

James

Yes, so we'll go down to the bottom. We'll go down. As you're looking at it, I will go down the left side, okay, so go down left to the landing and then down again to this floor okay.

Andrew

So you're now kind of standing dead center of this cellar area. To your you're. You're down at the bottom of the flight of stairs. So to your right you look up. You see the door that you just came through.

James

Oh, oh, oh wait, Now I understand. I think I understand. I just want to make sure I'm I'm understanding this problem.

Andrew

Yeah.

James

So it's, it's basically like, it's like this and then like it's like this and then.

Andrew

So it was like you're on the landing. Immediately to your left is a set of stairs down there's a, a small landing there.

James

It's like and then the stairs go this, and then the stairs go like yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly okay okay, I was drawing it wrong.

Andrew

Yep, you got it, I'm glad.

Speaker 5

I asked.

James

Okay, okay. So we're kind of in the center of that area down below the landing where we started out.

Andrew

Right.

James

And from where we are across to the other side of the room, are we facing north? Are we facing? So when you come down the stairs, you're now facing north.

Andrew

So when you come down the stairs, you're now facing north. So what you see is to your north. You see the other set of stairs going up. Underneath those stairs you see a door to the north, To your right, which is east. You look up, you see the door you came through on the landing To your left, you see the cistern. How big is the cistern? It's about 10 feet wide by 15 feet deep, so it comes out 15 feet from the wall and it's 10 feet wide by 15 feet deep, so it comes out 15 feet from the wall and it's 10 feet wide. The room itself is about 30 feet from south to north.

James

Okay.

Andrew

And that cistern is right in the middle of that wall. So if you turn left and face the cistern, yeah. Now the cistern is dead. In front of you, to the right of the cistern are now the cistern is dead. In front of you, to the right of the cistern, are some kegs and barrels. There's a door on the right hand side of the cistern and there's a wall on the left hand side of the cistern and more kegs and barrels over there okay, and a door center of the wall in the north Okay.

Andrew

And a door center of the wall in the north. Well, the door is underneath the, so the stairs came down, landing down, and so kind of under that landing is a door to the north.

James

Oh, I see, Okay, okay, I have this rough, but I don't think it's okay. I want to go look in the cistern.

Catherine

I mean, we know there's something in the cistern. Do we want to do that first?

James

Well, if it's dark and shadowy and has tentacles, it it might be my patron, but you know in which case you just want to, you want to shake.

Catherine

Hey, how are you? Can I have a?

James

couple others and I'll shake your tentacle and I'll have another spell, please, um so you're going to examine the cistern. Is everybody good with that, our only other way out is that door, the way we came in, and then the door that's under the landing.

Andrew

Well, there's also the door to the right of the cistern. So if you're facing the cistern, there's a door to the right of the cistern as well.

Catherine

There's two doors the door by the stairs, the door by the cistern well, there's two doors, okay, the door by the stairs, the door by the cistern gotcha. It's a question. Yes, are we keeping up enough for you? Oh, no, no, not you you are we keeping up the ruse of dal and I are prisoners, and you and theo at this point.

James

No, because if there's because if there's nobody here in the room, we can do that again, if it were. I assumed when we came, when we were coming up here that someone would be at the very, since the place is ruined and we're essentially going into the basement, is that?

Andrew

correct. Yeah, yeah. Is that correct? Yeah, yeah.

James

I would say I asked Theo what's in the cistern.

Catherine

What's in the cistern.

James

Hey Theo, what's in the cistern? Hey Theo, what's in the cistern.

Andrew

How are you asking the question? In what manner are you asking this question?

James

On one hand, one Eldritch Blast will take you out because you've got like two hit points left. That could be an assumption on my part.

Andrew

Well, he did have a long rest as well, so he did recover some of that. He's still not completely healed, but he's not as weak as he once was the day before. He has a little bit of time to rest and heal, but not a lot. Let's put it this way an Eldritch Blast probably would still finish him and heal, but not not a lot. Probably and let's put it this way an eldritch blast probably would still finish him off. Okay, but not, he's not at two points um.

Exploration of Forbidden Satchel

James

You know what are we looking for like? Is there something in that cistern?

Andrew

in that cistern? Yeah, not no in the other cistern, it's just water anything live in the water sure, microorganisms, I mean, you name it, there's stuff that there's oh, he's a biologist now I like you better when you're an insurance salesman. Theo, Theo Bimble. I'm an unemployed biologist. This is the only job I could get. It's a tough economy. Okay, oh boy. There are not many jobs out there for biologists.

James

Stay in school, kids.

Andrew

That liberal arts degree is going to do you no good.

Catherine

Hey Theo. Yes, if you're so convinced there's nothing in that water, go, stick your hand in it.

Andrew

Theo walks over to the water, Slowly puts his hand in One, two, three. There I did it.

Catherine

No no.

James

No, no, I tell you what If you yes yes you can keep your hand in there until I say take it out, I'll give you a gold piece oh wow, this is like that time you paid my sister 20 to eat a piece of calamari.

Speaker 5

Yeah.

Fable

What oh?

Catherine

yeah.

Fable

She doesn't like calamari. No, I love it.

Catherine

I tried paying her $20 to eat one yesterday and she said no. She asked how big a bite it had to be.

Fable

I would do a lot for $20. Okay, calamari, come on, it's delicious.

James

My mom should have to pay you to eat it. But what?

Catherine

would you do for a Klondike?

James

bar.

Andrew

What would you do for a Klondike bar? So wait, you're going to give me a gold piece if I do what?

James

Hold your hand in the water.

Andrew

Puts his hand back in the water and holds it there.

James

Swish it around.

Catherine

Does he look like he's in pain? Swishes it around.

Andrew

Just looking you dead in the eye, just doing exactly what you told him to do okay that's the thingy for the full payoff.

James

Yeah, oh, that's cool. Um, why don't you jump in?

Catherine

oh wow, even I wasn't gonna do that.

Speaker 5

Oh, wow.

Catherine

Even.

James

I wasn't going to do that, Sure. Oh, come on Dio.

Andrew

Tell me what I want to know.

James

What do you want to know? I want to know where the traps are. I want to know where the hidden stuff is. What's in the water?

Andrew

I don't know what's in? The water.

James

What's in the water. I just want to do an insight check when he's putting his hands in the water to see if he's hiding something or if he's avoiding something or if he thinks that you know. I just want to know what lives in here, that's all.

Andrew

Okay, so roll an insight check 14. Alright. So Theo is got his hand under the water. Suddenly you see this look on his face Rat row, Kind of a questioning look, and he reaches his hand in a little bit further and he's like there's something down here. Oh, boy.

Catherine

Dude, you sure you want to do that? Yeah, I'll let him.

Andrew

And all of a sudden he pulls out of the water just this rope and the rope continues down into the water. But he's just holding up, kind of like the. End, Not like the end of the rope, but just like a piece of the rope. But the rope just continues down into the water and he's just standing there looking at the three of you like he doesn't know what it is.

Fable

Interesting.

Andrew

What do you want to do?

Catherine

What can we tell about the rope?

Andrew

It's a rope.

Catherine

Can I do an insight check to try to figure something out about the rope? Do?

Andrew

an investigation check.

Catherine

Investigation check.

Andrew

Investigation check on the rope.

Fable

I would also like to do that.

Catherine

Okay, investigation Plus one, okay, so 20.

Andrew

It's definitely a rope. There's nothing special about it. It's definitely a rope. There's nothing special about it. It's wet, it doesn't. It looks like. It doesn't look like it's been there a long time, so it doesn't look like it's. It doesn't have anything growing on it or anything. It just looks like a rope.

Fable

Can I do an investigation to try to see into the water?

Catherine

The rope is here for a good time, not for a long time.

Andrew

Yes, you can do an investigation check.

Fable

Okay, I have an 18 then.

Andrew

An 18.

Fable

James laughs at my jokes. I didn't hear that one.

Catherine

I said, the rope is here for a good time, not for a long time.

Andrew

So all you notice it is just clean, cold, fresh water. It's about 10 feet deep. There's a two foot, it's two foot high, so the ridge around the cistern is two feet high. So there's two feet high of water and then it goes down below that, but it's a total of ten feet deep. So eight feet below the floor is the water. You notice that there are drain pipes from the roof of the manor and that's what's filling up the cistern.

James

But that cistern's a like. I don't know how to put this.

Andrew

It's not a spring, it's not just collecting water.

James

It's not a spring, it's not just when the manor was intact. Yes, this is just a natural cistern to take runoff water from the roof, or what have you? Just to provide fresh water.

Andrew

You are correct.

James

Okay, okay and okay, and you want to pull the rope?

Andrew

I'll pull the rope you want to pull the rope, give me a strength check, or I guess? Yeah, strength check, yeah, yeah.

Fable

Damn, that's a 10.

James

With your strength, modifier yeah.

Fable

Not your best roll, mm-mm.

Andrew

So you pull, you pull on the rope. There's very little resistance. You feel a little bit of weight to it, Like it's not just you know it's not just a rope, so, but it's, but it also is. You're also able to to pull the rope kind of toward you. So it's, it doesn't feel like it's attached to anything down below, but you, you are pulling it and the rope continues to pull slowly out of the water. I'm going to keep pulling.

Fable

I'll keep pulling it, all right.

Andrew

Give me another strength check.

Fable

Oh damn that one's freaking failed me too.

Andrew

Eight so it keeps coming. There's a little bit more resistance on it now. So you're trying to pull it, but it's not fighting back, but it's not.

Fable

Should I keep pulling it?

Andrew

Give it another strength.

Fable

check what the fuck that's a five. It's just getting worse.

Andrew

You feel it, you feel yourself, it's now. This is like a tug of war kind of thing. So it's not pulling against you, it's not pulling back, but it's not giving any.

Fable

I'll try for a better roll, I guess give it another shot a seven.

Andrew

Xanros, do you want to help?

Fable

out. Yeah, someone help me.

James

I'd help out, but I'd be dragged dragged under by that rope just for the sake of comedy, I rolled and I got a one Okay.

Andrew

I got a 15. Now it's a minus two.

Fable

What's that.

Speaker 5

I have a 15. Now you got a 15.

Fable

What do you got, ooh.

Andrew

I'm at 21. Between the two of you, you finally feel it the rope starts coming Nicely done. You start to see something solid under the water, a mass attached to the end of the rope. Oh boy, attached to the end of the rope. Oh boy, it's starting to get closer and closer to the surface as you pull. What do you want to do? You want to pull it out of the water.

Catherine

Yeah.

Andrew

Okay.

Speaker 5

Before they pull it out of the water.

James

I'm just going to be ready with an Eldritch Blast.

Andrew

What you pull out of the water, attached to the rope, is a waterproof satchel. Oh, there is a leather buckle on the top of the satchel holding it closed and keeping it. It's all tightly wound up so no water can get into it. Okay, so whatever it is containing is contained within it, not able to get out. What would you like to do with the satchel?

Catherine

not able to get out. Did I say that like that?

Andrew

poor choice of words, or was it?

Catherine

I mean, I feel like we have to open this, but there's somebody in the satchel what is small that could to open the satchel. Well, yeah, but there's somebody in the satchel. What is small that could be in the satchel? How big is the satchel?

Andrew

It's satchel-sized.

Fable

Oh great, all right, that's real helpful, could I?

Catherine

fit my laptop in the satchel.

James

So larger than a haversack but less than a sack.

Catherine

Will it fit under the plane seat in front of me? It will.

Andrew

It's not. This is what I would call a day pack for a day hike.

James

So it is Haversack sized.

Andrew

Yeah, it's a cross body.

Catherine

I feel like there's probably something in there. It's a fanny pack from the 1980s. Exactly, it's a crossbody. I feel like there's probably something in there.

James

It's a fanny pack from the 1980s.

Catherine

Exactly.

Speaker 5

It's either money or something that's going to try to kill us, so Iquium be, ready with the Eldritch Blast.

Catherine

Let's see what we got.

Andrew

Who's opening it?

Catherine

I'm opening it, you're opening it. It's my house, it's my satchel.

Andrew

Okay, okay, okay, your life.

Catherine

Okay.

Andrew

Was your house.

Catherine

Funny, he's hilarious, he's a comedian.

James

Sure am. Inside the satchel is a note that says under no circumstance should you open the satchel.

Catherine

They really should have put that on the outside of the satchel.

James

On the back is a reminder saying do not put this in the satchel.

Andrew

If found, please return to.

Catherine

I'm going to insist on continuing to make seven references. What's in the satchel?

Andrew

So you're opening the satchel?

Catherine

Yes.

Andrew

Are you reaching into the satchel?

Catherine

Can I just peer into the satchel first?

Andrew

It's very dark, it's hard to see.

Catherine

Anybody got a?

Fable

light. I got that staff thingy.

Andrew

Light it up. Do I have a light You're going to reach in?

Catherine

Hold on. Okay, can I hold my torch? Over it and see what's inside.

Catherine

Yes, Okay, I want to do that then, okay Okay.

Andrew

You see the light of the torch glints off of a couple shiny objects. Are they eyeballs? No, that wouldn't be fun. Actually, give me an investigation, check, all right.

Fable

Four. Can I look in the bag so?

Andrew

so. So there's, there's something reflective in there, something that that the light is shining off of, but you can't quite tell what it is there. The bag is not moving, so there, there's no indication that there's something living in the bag. There's no movement whatsoever, so, but you do notice some reflections, the light dancing off of objects inside of the satchel Del come here and see if you can see what this is.

Catherine

I can't quite make it out. I don't want to stick my hand in there. Theo you like sticking your hand in stuff what is it?

Fable

an investigation.

Andrew

Alright, that'll be 19 so you are able, so you're able to look in. You notice there's a couple bottles containing liquids. There appears to be some coin and some other objects in the bag. And that's what you say it's hard to tell because they're in the very bottom of the bag so it's hard to tell what they are. But there is other stuff in there. You just can't. Until you pull it out, you can't tell what it is.

Fable

Alright, who's sacrificing their arm?

James

Cast Mage Hand. Okay, alright, and use the Mage Hand to grab the stuff in the bag, or we can just dump it out onto the Mage.

Catherine

Hand.

Andrew

So the Mage Hand is going to turn the bag over and dump out the contents.

James

I was thinking we could just dump the contents into the.

Andrew

Mage.

Speaker 5

Hand, dump the contents into the Mage Hand.

Andrew

Okay, so you dump the contents into the Mage Hand. Into the Mage Hand fall two potion bottles, a bunch of coins fall out of the of the mage hand onto the floor and a set of clothing falls out of the bag as well what kind of clothing I'm just ordinary travel clothes that no armor, nothing like that. Ordinary travel clothes that no armor, nothing like that.

James

Just travel clothes.

Catherine

Did somebody's mom put their name in the travel clothes Give?

Andrew

me an investigation check.

James

Fifteen.

Catherine

Twelve, yeah, 12.

Andrew

There's just two initials on a little label on the clothing and it just says GS.

Fable

Glass staff.

Speaker 5

Hmm.

James

That's obviously where he hides his extra work uniform. Doesn't by any chance on the lapel or anything, say Chick-fil-A.

Fable

Does it?

Andrew

There's no name tag. No name tag to speak of. It's the target lady. There's just a little badge with the red target on it. All right, so what'd you end up? So you want to inspect these items? What do you want to? Yeah?

Speaker 5

Sure.

Andrew

Okay, so give me another investigation check, or actually give me an Arcana check.

Fable

I was going to say Okay.

Catherine

Yeah 19.

Andrew

Oh nice.

James

You said Arcana right.

Andrew

Arcana 19. 18. 18?.

Fable

No 15.

Andrew

15,. Okay, so you recognize these potions. One of them is a potion of healing.

Catherine

Oh, excellent.

Andrew

And one of them is a potion of invisibility. Oh, great Great and if you ask Theo, aka Rain man, he goes that's 50 pieces of gold, definitely, definitely 50 pieces of gold laughing just waiting, waiting for him to say definitely not my underwear definitely not my underwear.

James

Walmart, definitely not my underwear. Walmart sucks. Five minutes to Wapner, five minutes to initiative, that's right.

Andrew

You don't know how right you are. So there's 50 gold pieces as well for you to split up. So that's another 16. Another 16, each 16 gold.

James

All right, so don't we already have gold? Gold's my favorite do we not already have uh?

Andrew

yes, james potions.

Fable

I have one potion of healing, because we found one, I think, and I held on to it and I think you also might have one.

Basement Encounter With Red Brands

James

I was supposed to have one too, because I know that I had one and you had one, because I had one, because I would be presumably in the back casting spells, so if I could get to you. So now, each of us have one. Basically, zanros, you hold one and each of us have so you now each have a potion of healing yes, but it's got a healing potion.

Andrew

Okay, okay. So now you've figured out. There really is nothing much to the cistern. There was something hiding in there, but it actually ended up being a good thing. So what would you like to do next? Again, remember, just to the right of the cistern is the one door there. There's also the door in the northeast, underneath the staircase that goes north, so you can go west through that door or north through the through the other door let's go to the one you said.

James

On the other side of the cistern, to the left of the cistern, are barrels and stuff like that.

Andrew

Right, so, if you are, you're basically facing the cistern right now. So the cistern is 10 feet wide. In front of you. There is on either side of the cistern. There's another 10 feet on either side, okay, up against the walls are barrels and kegs, okay. And then there's a kind of five-foot path in between, and right next to the right-hand side of the cistern, up against that wall, is a door.

Catherine

Okay.

James

Let's look in that door.

Andrew

Everybody want to look in that door.

James

Yeah, Because my thought is that one of those doors is either an ante room or supply room. If the cistern is right here and there's more barrels here, or it could be nothing, it could be because we're in a basement. Though right, we're in a basement. Yeah, right, we're in a basement. Oh sorry, I'll go on.

Andrew

All right, so. So this is a small kind of space. Who's going? What's the who's going in first? You're going in first. Equium.

James

Uh, um, you're going in first Equium. Is there light?

Andrew

I'm sorry.

James

Is there light? Is there torchlight in the room?

Andrew

There is, so I'll go in, okay. Okay, the small storeroom has been converted into living quarters. Two double bunks stand against the wall near the door, while more barrels and crates fill the southern half of the chamber. Three humans look up at you as you open the door.

James

Roll for initiative Nine Hang on nine hang on.

Andrew

Before let me get my notes out so I can track all this nine. Nine, you say Equiam.

Fable

I have a 16.

Andrew

16? 19. Ooh, 19. All right, I'll just go with the oh yeah, figure out their hit points, all right. So you've startled these three red brands and they jump up to attack Zanros you kind of push? Iquium out of the way, because you're itching for a fight, because this is your property.

Catherine

Yep.

Andrew

So you go first. Okay, there are three of them. It's a very small room, so there's three of them there, kind of bunched together in this little area, so you can attack Redbrand number one, two or three.

Catherine

All right, can I say something to them first?

Andrew

Sure.

Catherine

Hello, my name is Zanros Bumblebumble. My family owns this house, so I'm going to give you an opportunity, before I unleash hell on you, to get the hell out.

Andrew

Roll for intimidation.

Catherine

This never goes well. I have a minus one, 16. Nice, I have a minus one, 16 Nice.

Andrew

Why can't I find it Well?

Speaker 5

there you are 16, you say yes.

Andrew

They all kind of look at each other. They look at the three of you, they kind of look back at each other and all three of them make a run for it, yeah, and haul ass up the stairs, this up the stairs and and out the door wow I never even got an opportunity to ask if they wanted a job um, if they're running, do we get an opportunity to attack?

James

you're still going after them.

Andrew

If you would like to, yes, as a matter fact, you would get an attack of opportunity.

James

They yeah. Absolutely Because if they're going to run off, they got to come through us, through the door, and my thought is, if they go and tell somebody else, they go upstairs and out.

Andrew

They're going out the way you came in.

James

Okay.

Andrew

So they are attempting to pass you. So, as you are standing there, you're all kind of in between the barrels and the cistern. Xanros is one spot in into the room. So, equium, you and Dal are in this spot between the cistern and the barrels. So you Well, first let's do this give me a because they are trying to escape. So both of you give me a dexterity saving, throw 17, okay and my other question.

James

I have another question because I keep on forgetting to ask 17. Okay, and my other question. I have another question because I keep on forgetting to ask this question, since we keep in the door.

Andrew

Okay, callie, you haven't said anything about Callie, so Is Callie with us?

James

Can I have Callie? Can Callie have fit through the door?

Catherine

I don't believe so Can we have left Callie?

James

outside.

Andrew

Callie with us. Can I have? Can Callie have fit through the door to come down? I don't believe so Can we have?

Catherine

left Callie outside.

Andrew

Callie could be outside, okay. So as they try to run past you, they kind of push you out of the way. They almost knock you into the cistern, but you're both able to keep yourself steady and not fall into the water. So now you have the cistern, but you're both able to keep yourself steady and not fall into the water. So now you have the. All three of you have the opportunity, if you wish to do an attack of opportunity against one of the Actually, against all three of them, since they're all three running trying to run past you. So so, zanrow, since you're first, do you want to attack any of them, since they're all three running trying to run past you? So what? So, suzanne, since you're first, do you want to attack any of them?

Catherine

No.

Andrew

OK, dal, you were in the back, I think, yeah, so. So, iquium, you'd be up next. Do you want to attack any or all of them?

Combat Encounter Strategy and Damage Results

James

Yeah, eldritch Blast oh my God.

Andrew

So what is so? Remind me Eldritch Blast. What's the? Is it? Is it a ranged attack? What's the Is a range, it has a range of 120 feet, its duration is instantaneous.

James

And on a hit it has a range of 120 feet, its duration is instantaneous.

Andrew

And on a hit the target takes 1d10 force damage. Now remind me if you're doing a ranged attack in melee range, is it a disadvantage or what's the drawback of doing a ranged spell attack at close range?

James

It's because it's not a ranged weapon. Okay, it's not a ranged weapon because it's a spell effect, got it, but it has a range of.

Andrew

Got it Okay.

James

So I think the only disadvantage you run into if somebody's prone and even then I'm not even sure because it's spell attack Got- it, okay?

Andrew

Um, so you're going to attack each one of them as they go by. I can attack one of them. I don't think I can attack all three, okay. So which one? So one, two or three? Which one would you like to attack?

James

Um, let's see, call, okay, so which one? So one, two or three, which one would you like to attack? Um, let's see, I'll do a d6 and we'll see which one. Okay, first one okay, and that's a 20 to hit, that will hit.

Andrew

I get to roll a 12 or higher to avoid damage and it's three points of damage. Wait for Eldritch Blast, I thought it was just an attack.

Speaker 5

It's just a hit. I'm wrong.

Andrew

Yeah, you hit, so should just be the 1d10. I thought it was just an attack. It's just a hit. I'm wrong. Yeah, you hit, so it should just be the 1d10. Three points of damage. Three points of damage Yep, all right, so you hit the first one. So now that they're being attacked, they are no longer intimidated. So number two is up. And because you attacked one, so number two is right by Zanros. So number two is going to attack Zanros.

Fable

Thanks, equium, my God, look what you've done.

James

I forgot about the intimidation, damn it. I just didn't want to tell everybody else.

Fable

Well, you can't tell anyone if they're dead. So what it's?

Catherine

fair.

James

That's fair. So what was their initiative, though? What's that? Did they come? Did they have better initiative than us, is, I guess, my question.

Andrew

So Zanros was was first in initiative Passed up right Because. Zanros was letting them.

Catherine

Zanros went first, I was going to let them go OK let them go Let them go.

Andrew

You got the attack of opportunity on one who actually had the lowest initiative, but the next in the initiative round is number two, gotcha. So that's where we're at. So number two is attacking with an unnatural 20.

Catherine

So I assume that hits yeah, so long.

Andrew

An unnatural 20 doesn't hit, it does hit. Okay, so that's going to be seven points of piercing damage. I hate you.

Catherine

Equium.

Fable

What's that old nickname?

Catherine

Dick we um.

Andrew

Dow, you are up next.

Fable

All right, was it one that was hit? Yeah Right, you hit one First. Alright, was it one that was?

James

hit. Yeah, right, you hit one.

Fable

First one was hit okay can you do a wisdom save for me?

Speaker 5

I want to hit one that will be a three yay, you're going to go after one that will be a three Yay.

Fable

You're going to go after one, yes, okay.

Andrew

Oh, the rhombus.

Fable

The rhombus. Oh man, all right, he takes four points of damage.

Andrew

Four points, a nice hit. So what did you hit him with? Toll the dead, toll the dead and what type of damage is that?

Fable

It is. Why am I blanking on it? The dead.

Andrew

Necrotic, necrotic damage, necrotic damage. So is it a touch spell, or what is it? Is it a ranged?

Fable

It's ranged it, it a touch spell, or what is it? Is it arranged?

Andrew

It's ranged, it's a ranged spell. So you, what is it? What's the casting of it? Remind me.

Fable

You just point at a creature and then the bell rings.

Andrew

For whom? Oh this?

Fable

would be for whom the bell tolls Got it.

Andrew

This would be for whom the bell tolls Got it. So he definitely Redbrand number one, definitely feels part of. He hears this bell ringing and he feels just it just pulling some of his kind of life force away from him, weakening him as he stands there, having just been hit by the Eldritch Blast by Iquium.

Fable

I go.

Battling Red Brands With Magic

Andrew

Oh, with the finger Nice, see, they can't see that, but yes, your special finger there. So now number three, redbrand, is going to come after Zanros as well.

Catherine

Oh, good Lord.

Andrew

Because you're the first one there and that'll be a 22 to hit.

Catherine

Yep.

Andrew

And that'll be another 7 points of piercing damage.

Catherine

I only have 5 left, so so you're down. I'm down. Okay, okay, so you're down, I'm down Okay.

James

You're down like you're down, unconscious.

Andrew

Yeah, Alright so.

James

Equium, you're up next Um I cast. Arms of Hadar I invoke the power of Hadar. The dark hunger and tendrils of dark energy erupt from me and batter all the enemies within 10 feet of me. Yeesh Yikes Um each creature in that area must make a strength saving throw, and if they don't make it, they take 11 points of damage.

Andrew

And what do they have to beat on the saving throw?

James

They have to do a strength saving throw.

Andrew

Yeah.

James

And they have to beat a 12.

Andrew

They have to beat a 12.

James

Now on a failed save. The target takes 2d6 to product damage and can't take reactions until its next turn. On a successful save, the creature takes half damage but suffers no other effect.

Andrew

OK, those are some of the absolute worst roles I have ever done. All three of them fail. They're all within ten feet. So how much damage do they take? They each take 11 points of damage. How would you like to? What happens to two out of the three of them? Because you're going to successfully eradicate two of the three red brands.

James

One of the tendrils, each of the tendrils, on the two that don't make it. They pierce their bodies and grab them and crush them and throw them to the floor.

Catherine

And he really enjoys murdering people. I'm just saying.

Speaker 5

So, and the third one takes half damage.

James

Yes, it takes half damage. It takes half damage.

Andrew

It takes full damage. They all failed, oh, they all failed, they all failed. He just didn't die, he just didn't die.

James

So he can't take any reactions or anything for the next turn.

Andrew

However, he is going to take a reaction Because he has soiled himself.

Fable

Lovely.

Andrew

And has rethought his life choices and is going to quickly exit stage left or stage right. He is going to exit stage right and leave the premises. So two are dead, one is gone. Because, he didn't have much left.

James

So he's going to save himself and I'm going to use the potion of greater healing that I have for Zanros.

Catherine

Oh, thank you, I have a.

James

Or unless you want to.

Andrew

Well, Zanros is at zero, so you can do the one to stabilize Spare the dying, spare the dying.

Fable

Yeah, I got that. Captain, hold out your hand.

Andrew

See, but nobody can see. I wish everyone could see that, because that was really good.

Fable

We can recreate it.

James

Yes, we can take a picture of it. Yes, okay, you can make a TikTok, oh yeah.

Andrew

Hang on, hang on. I got to get the camera. We can prepare.

Fable

We got to repeat what we said I gotta get the camera out Jeez.

Andrew

We can prepare we gotta repeat, but we can. Yes, you want me to Ready, yes, excellent.

Catherine

All right.

Andrew

That's perfect.

Catherine

Okay, all right, so what does that give me?

Fable

You're just not about to die now. I'm just not dead.

James

Yeah, you don't have to do any saving death tips, got it.

Andrew

Now a healing potion would be.

Fable

Do we waste the potion or do I just do a healing spell?

Andrew

You can do a healing spell.

James

You can do a healing spell. You can do a healing spell because we can use the we. It's probably, it's probably a good idea to use the healing spell, only because I want to hold on to this and you've got, you've got a potion of greater healing.

Andrew

Yeah, which is what's the roll on that?

James

4d4 plus 4d4. Wait 4d4?

Andrew

Oh damn, you're healed very well that 44 plus four four.

Fable

D four. Oh damn, You're healed very well.

Andrew

Interesting you have a regular portion of. Here is just one D four right it points back.

Fable

Oh, cool Cause, my max is 12. There you go. I gave you extra. You can hop, skip and jump a little bit.

James

No, I think they're all one.

Andrew

Uh, let's see then russ, you've got a, I got a. What you've got? A potion of healing I, I do.

Catherine

Did you add it to your no because I, oh yeah, I did actually. Yes, I did. Where I don't see it in your. I put it in my. It's in my inventory. Do I have to move it to my? I think I'd refresh. I might have to refresh your inventory.

Andrew

Oh, okay, let me go up now.

Speaker 5

It's there.

James

I did put it, had to put in. Was the cape Got it? Are you? Did I have the wrong potion of healing? Is that what you're saying?

Andrew

That's all right, I was just.

James

It's the one we got from the goblin hideout.

Fable

Yeah, because.

Andrew

You should just be a standard potion of healing, not greater healing. I potion of healing, not greater healing.

Fable

I think I took the greater healing one, didn't I?

Andrew

the ones that you got. The one that you just found was just a potion of healing, not a potion of greater healing, so it's 2d4 plus 2 hit points. I can't remember what the other ones were before, if they were greater healing, or I think the ones we found were standard potion of healing.

Fable

Like way before, were greater, because I have a greater one.

Andrew

Okay.

Fable

And there's only two of them, but we're saying the one we found now would be for Caffin and that's just a standard one.

Andrew

That's just a standard potion of healing. Yeah, so Did you change that? Let me see if I wrote it in my notes. So when you go to inventory, yeah, manage inventory, yeah, do a search for potion of healing.

Catherine

I'd say Okay.

James

Yeah, so the one we just found is a potion of healing potion of healing but now are you saying what's up? I'm not answering.

Andrew

I don't know who that is. I think the previous ones maybe you got were potion of greater healing yeah, but the one that you just got was just a standard potion of healing.

Catherine

So it's a 2d4 plus 2?

Andrew

2d4 plus 2. Okay.

Fable

Well, I gave you a healing.

Catherine

Oh, you did the spell yeah.

Fable

I did the spell, so you're good.

Andrew

Yeah, so how many hit points did you get back? 13, 13. Nice, excellent, it's actually have 12.

Catherine

It was a one day.

Fable

Yeah, I wrote a seven. Awesome, and it's plus six Sweet.

James

Great, great, okay. So, ooh, that was close. So what you're saying is once you intimidate somebody, I should just leave them intimidated yeah.

Andrew

Lesson learned.

James

Gotcha.

Andrew

All right.

James

So what would you like to do? Rewind time and not do?

Andrew

that Take a mulligan on that one, I don't know what are we doing? Search the room they were in.

Fable

Okay, okay.

James

Investigation then Eleven. I found less than nothing Nice Natural.

Fable

Nice Natural one. Oh, got an 11, which isn't great, but you know it's better than that, okay.

Andrew

So what you find in the room is just more of the same kegs and barrels. Nothing different there. There are three dirty scarlet cloaks hanging from the bunks, similar to the ones that you've gotten from the other red brands. So nothing fancy there, but that's all you find in the room.

James

Okay, what would?

Andrew

you like to do next?

James

I would like to do something proactive. Yes, since we're moving into another area. Yes, I'm going to use the staff of defense and touch it to Zanros and cast mage armor. And what does?

Andrew

that do for Zanros.

James

You touch a willing creature, assuming you're willing, I'm willing. You're not going to call me Diquium again.

Catherine

I'm definitely at some point going to call you Dick William, just don't be, a Dick William.

Andrew

Just don't be a Dick William, that's this.

Speaker 5

Stop trying to kill and murder everything, yeah like seriously, dude.

Catherine

Look what happened. You decided you had to kill those guys that I was going to let go and then I end up knocked out.

James

I figured what's three less to deal with at a future point.

Catherine

Possibly one dead rock gnome.

Fable

I'd never let you die.

James

And here's the operative phrase for today but did you die? Head towards the light you touch a willing creature who isn't wearing armor.

James

Assuming because you're a monkey, you do not wear armor, correct, okay? Do you wear armor though? Yeah? Okay, can't help you out on this one. Your base becomes 13 plus your dexterity modifier. It lasts for eight hours and spell ends if you put on armor or dispel the dismiss the spell as an action. So for eight hours your AC is 13 plus your dex modifier, which I'm assuming is rather good because what's your dex modifier?

Catherine

My dex modifier, which I'm assuming is rather good, because what's your dex modifier? My dex modifier is six plus six Nice.

James

Nineteen.

Andrew

Your AC is nineteen now, congratulations. And how long does that? Last Eight hours.

James

Eight hours Eight hours.

Andrew

Oh, my God yeah.

Catherine

Wow, I'm invincible.

Speaker 5

Wow, right oncible.

Andrew

Wow, right on.

James

And and.

Catherine

I will also, but wait, there's more.

James

Wait, there's more Tell us, Billy Mays. That's one charge, but here we go the second one up. I'm going to use one of my invocations and touch myself and cast Mage Armor on myself.

Andrew

You're touching yourself right here in front of everybody.

Catherine

Yes, just pay shipping and handling.

James

That's right. And in fact, I cast Mage Armor on my house and, because I wanted to be different, I touched myself with my left hand.

Andrew

Excellent.

Catherine

I don't want anybody else.

Catherine

When I want Mage Armor, I touch myself Nice.

James

And you know what, if I was a bard with Mage Armor, I would do that every single time.

Speaker 5

Right, oh my God, yes, that would be it.

Andrew

Oh my God, yes, love it. Excellent, all right. So we're all healed up.

James

We got some major armor over here. Ready to go? Let's go.

Andrew

Let's go. What do we got? Where are we going?

James

Where are you going? We're going to that door in the north. I think is the only other way out, right?

Speaker 5

The king in the north King in the north King in the north.

James

I've hit the layer limit you hit the layer limit again it's all downhill from here alright, so you want to go through that door under the staircase under the staircase, but it goes as we're I'm just assuming, because this is not if we're looking at this and we're I'm just assuming, cause this is not if we're looking at this and we're we've come in. I'll say wherever we are yes. The stairs are on either side of this door.

Andrew

Yeah, so so what happened? So so imagine you were you. You came in the front door. You're standing on that landing Yep, you immediately go down one flight of stairs. Yep, you turn, there's kind of a 15-foot landing. You walk down these 15 feet, go down the next set of stairs Okay, to the floor of the cellar, gotcha. And so you've got stairs to the left of you stairs to the right and in between clowns to the left of you, jokers to the right, here you are, a door in the middle, yes.

Catherine

Let's go.

Andrew

Okay, everybody up for that. Do you want to do anything else? No, I think we're good.

Fable

Okay.

Andrew

So you're going to go through the door into a hall. Thick dust covers the flagstones of this somber hallway. The walls are decorated with faux columns every 10 feet.

Catherine

Faux columns.

Andrew

Real marble columns. Real marble columns, phil Collins.

Catherine

Phil Collins. I feel like this place is really tacky.

James

There's something in the air tonight.

Traps and Exploration in Tresendar

Andrew

There's definitely something in the air tonight, absolutely At the west end. There are double doors at the west end of the hall sheathed in copper plate, now green with age.

Catherine

Behind which we find some west end girls.

Fable

West egg.

Catherine

West end girls. Yes, exactly, west End girls.

Andrew

Yes, exactly A relief carving of a mournful angel adorns the door.

Catherine

Oh crap, Is it a weeping angel? Don't blink. Don't blink Exactly.

Andrew

Thank you.

Catherine

Thank you, doctor who reference.

Fable

No, I know, I know that one.

Catherine

Okay, I'm not that bad.

Andrew

Now Remember, you've got Theo Pimble. Oh god, still with you, yeah this guy.

Catherine

He's been useless so far, so Well, theo is.

Andrew

Theo is going to be very helpful at the moment. Oh, because he says Be very careful Walking across this floor.

Fable

Oh, great Okay.

Andrew

Why Do?

Fable

you want to go first?

Andrew

There are traps in this area. Be careful what kind of traps.

Catherine

What can you tell me about these traps, Theo Buddy, pal pal friend of mine it's just there are.

Andrew

They have put multiple traps in these underground areas to to keep people from finding certain things.

Catherine

From finding certain things in my freaking house.

James

Like what certain things Theo, Like the traps themselves or Like the hostages.

Andrew

What's beyond the doors?

Catherine

Would one of those things be?

Andrew

the.

Catherine

Guardian, maybe a bugbear.

Andrew

Could be.

Catherine

Theo, we're going to send you through first.

Andrew

if you don't help us out here, bud you through first, if you don't help us out here, bud, uh listen, I don't, I don't. They don't allow all of us into all the different parts of here. I there's gotta be talk though. Oh sure there. Persuasion check, or do you want to do persuasion or intimidation? How do you, how do you want to approach Theo?

Catherine

I've got a plus one on persuasion and a minus one on intimidation.

Andrew

Okay.

Catherine

So let's go. Persuasion.

Andrew

You're going to be persuasive.

Catherine

Nine I'm not going going to be persuasive. Nine, I'm not going to be that persuasive.

Andrew

He goes. I hear things I know. I've been in this hall before and I've heard voices, Voices beyond those doors that are not other red brands, but I don't know who or what it is.

Catherine

Do they sound human?

Andrew

They speak common, like me, so that's what I hear.

Catherine

How do we want to do this? I mean, we clearly got to go across it.

Andrew

This hallway is about 40 feet long and 10 feet wide, so when you come into it there's about 5 feet behind you, so there's about 30 feet in front of you, and those two doors, the double doors doors, double copper doors would detect magic.

Fable

Do me any good in this situation?

Andrew

I don't know, I can't tell you that you could. I could tell you, but I won't. Um is it? Does that require a spell slot?

Catherine

yeah, don't use it.

Catherine

I was gonna say, if the red brands are the ones setting the traps, then I suspect that they're not going to be magical. They're going to be like traps that a stupid human would be able to lay.

Andrew

But remember, Glass Staff is a wizard.

Fable

Is there any rocks around here? Can I throw a rock at this floor?

James

You said it's covered in dust right.

Andrew

The floor is covered in dust.

James

right the floor is covered in dust. The floor is locked. Can I do a perception check and see if it's your footprints or?

Speaker 5

anything Smart.

Andrew

Yes, you can do that 15.

James

Yes, you can do that.

Andrew

Fifteen there are footprints in the dust Going in both directions, but they continue from where you are going all the way to the doors and coming all the way back. You don't? There's nothing, Nothing unusual about them.

James

Nothing unusual, it's just sort of a worn in the dust kind of path.

Speaker 5

Yeah.

James

Between this door and but it doesn't go in any other direction.

Andrew

No.

James

No, as the French would say, fouquit.

Catherine

Okay, wait. So the hallway is about 40 feet long.

Speaker 5

Yes.

Catherine

Okay, what if I try to do some stealthy ninja shit?

Fable

Okay cool. Remember the horn slingshot. Can we bring that back?

Catherine

Oh my god, the horn slingshot. Yeah, can Dal just fling me to the other end of the hall.

Andrew

You can try when I will neatly land. Obviously, you can try. What am I doing? An acrobatics check. I think it's acrobatics for you?

Fable

Obviously, you can try.

Catherine

What am I doing? An acrobatics?

Fable

check. I think it's acrobatics for you.

James

Strength for you.

Andrew

So you need the strength to pull the. Is it elastic? What do you?

Fable

I think I'm just going to chuck her. You're just going to chuck her.

Catherine

Okay well for acrobatics I rolled a 20. Okay, that's good.

Andrew

I need you to describe the chucking.

Fable

Okay, so let me grab a pillow, no wait.

Catherine

Yes.

Andrew

Okay, that's Sanros okay, no wait, no, no, no no, no, so you need to describe this, so people listening need to be able to understand exactly what you're doing. Mm-hmm, how are you chucking Zanros?

Fable

Well, I don't know.

James

And you, do have horns, so Well so Are you going to decide.

Catherine

So you're going to.

Andrew

Football. You're going to Shot put Like a spiral, shot put the end zone.

Catherine

I mean, I feel like that's not the worst thing that she could do. Do you want?

Fable

to be like, like, like, you're like this, and then I'm like holding you, yeah, like I'm like yeah, yeah, because here's what I'm thinking.

Andrew

Okay, what's what's?

Catherine

I'm thinking, I think you're going gonna need both hands. Yes, so how heavy are you? I am 35 pounds. Oh okay, yeah, that's the weight am I features and trails where's my weight description probably? Thank you. Oh wait, 29 pounds. Oh okay, I'm teensy, so I'm gonna say you're gonna hold me with both hands yeah over one shoulder uh-huh yeah I'm going to

Fable

be like hands first, hands first on my stomach, kind of like you're shooting me out of a cannon. Yes. Superman, and then you are going to pull back and then just fling me as far as you can.

Catherine

Yeah, I'm liking that, and then I'm going to triple flip. I think yeah, because I rolled a 20 on acrobatics.

Andrew

Yeah, you nailed that, and land perfectly on my feet. You nailed the acrobatics, so it's just a matter of how far Dal can throw me. So strength check.

Catherine

Here we go, here we go Well actually no Well this should be.

Andrew

Well, I mean, would it be? I guess it would be a strength check for you.

Fable

Why? What else were you?

Catherine

thinking Could be Well. Athletics is a strength check essentially.

Fable

Yeah, is a strength check essentially.

Catherine

Yeah, I don't know what else it could be, make it an athletics check.

Fable

I mean it's the same either way.

Andrew

That's fine.

Fable

Okay.

Catherine

I don't think this is going well, oh no, how bad.

Andrew

Two, oh my god. So what happens is this your clothes get caught. No, no, no, no, no. So Dal attempts to hurl Xanros down the hall. However, Dao doesn't really take into account how low the ceilings are. Oh, no, so Zanros kind of hits the ceiling and then bounces and rolls beautifully.

Fable

Beautifully.

Andrew

Beautifully, athletically, rolls and just somersaults all the way down to the end of the hall, stopping right in front of the doors.

Fable

Oh, okay, that worked out in the end.

Andrew

Excellent and all is well, all right.

Catherine

Oopsies Okay, yes.

James

I would like to roll the.

Fable

Would you also like to be thrown?

James

No, in fact no, but I would like to roll a perception check to see how much I enjoyed it. Okay, or would that be a performance check? Or would they have to roll a perception check to see how much I enjoyed? It Okay or would that be a performance check or would they have to roll a performance? They would have to roll a performance check 16,. I will say I'm there clapping Absolutely, thank you.

Catherine

Thank you, I'm sorry.

Catherine

Thank you.

Andrew

Execution poor but on Dal's part. But the follow-up was amazing. Zanros recovered beautifully after hitting the ceiling, falling on the floor and just tucking into a little somersault and just rolling like a bowling ball down the alley right toward the doors.

Fable

It was amazing nice absolutely amazing my bad bubble bumble all good.

Catherine

Okay, I'm at the end of the hall, do you? Want me to go through the door, because shouldn't we know if it's worth going through the door?

Fable

Yeah, Before I try to get you past the booby traps. Yeah, I'm going to say yes to that.

Andrew

What's this? I want to open the door. You want to open the door.

Catherine

I want to open the door because I want to know what's in the room before I try to make them come all the way down a hallway that might be completely booby trapped. Yeah also, it'll give me a longer runway for when I need to um like somersault cartwheel quadruple. Flip my way back to the other end of the hall to meet my friends if there's nothing in there so.

Andrew

So, give me an, give me a perception check 14. 14. And also give me a history check.

Catherine

Five, five Okay.

Andrew

So you before you, as you're about to open the doors, you look up and above the copper doors in the, in the stone above the doors is is written the name Tresendar.

Catherine

Can I replace that with Bumble Bumble?

Andrew

The name Tresendar is familiar to you. You can't recall why, but you know the name does evoke some sort of feeling inside of you. You're like I know that name, I've heard that name before. Are those the?

Catherine

people. My parents bought this place from.

Andrew

And you can't quite place it. Who's Tresendar? Did I have a dream? Are you ready to open the door? Let's do it. Okay, you open the door Walking into the room.

Catherine

Yeah.

Andrew

Three large stone sarcophagi stand within this desolate crypt.

Catherine

Uh-oh, hey guys, it's a crypt.

Andrew

And six skeletons Ah shit, in rusty mail are propped against the walls as if guarding this place. Guys, I think there's some living skeletons False columns along the walls are carved in the image of spreading oak trees. What would you like to do?

Speaker 5

I'd like to get my friends here, okay.

Andrew

Is it six skeletons? There are six skeletons. Okay, in rusty mail.

Catherine

I'd like to not draw attention to myself.

Andrew

Okay.

Catherine

Alright, so we gotta get you two down to the end of the hall. I don't really care about Theo Pimble at this point. Let him run if he really wants to, or we, or do we tie him up no, you're bringing him with. Yeah, oh, maybe you can use him as, like a human shield. Yeah, I was just thinking that yeah, why not theo pimble's? Like I was like this is not what I signed up for, Sorry bud.

James

We can pretty much tell they're faux columns, right, I mean, that's the way they were described to us.

Andrew

so yes, they're not.

James

They're not structural Columns.

Catherine

All I can think of is like Indiana Jones in the circus on a beach ball Asps very dangerous.

James

You go first. It's called a dog, indiana. Your name is Henry Henry Jones Jr. Oh, what do I have to?

Andrew

So you're checking for traps. Yes, investigation that would be investigation, right yeah All right, I'm going to pick up the yes, the shattered obelisk D20.

Fable

Should I also look for traps? You tell me Sure.

Andrew

Tell me what you're doing to look for traps.

Speaker 5

You tell me Sure.

Andrew

Tell me what you're doing to look for traps. So I'll tell you. The room is about 20 feet. So you're in the kind of southeast corner of this long rectangular room. It's about 20 feet wide by about 30 feet deep and again. So, as you're walking in these double doors, the wall, that 30-foot wall. There's two sarcophagi over there up against that wall, and then to your right up against this wall, is the third one. So there's two.

James

Yes, Wait, I'm sorry. Are we already in the room with Xanros?

Andrew

I thought you were checking for traps.

Catherine

Yeah.

Andrew

In the room.

Catherine

No, they haven't gotten to the room yet.

James

We haven't gotten to the room.

Catherine

I'm at the room.

James

Okay, you're in the room, but Xanros got thrown. I'm still in the room.

Fable

Sorry, no, no, no In the hall. Okay, yeah, I rolled a 15.

Andrew

I rolled a 14. So are you standing where you are.

James

Tell me what you're doing to look for. I'm going towards the first column because if I can see that it's a faux column, I go to the edge of the first column to see if there's anything of note in that area column to see if it has anything. If there's anything of note in that area, the first faux column that's should be. If we, if we came in from this side and the other doors are this side, like this, I'm checking the column that's closest here.

Navigating the Trap With Theo Pimble

Andrew

So you, you look at the column. It is a real, actual, authentic faux column.

James

Real, authentic. A real actual authentic faux column. Real authentic, faux column.

Catherine

Real tomato ketchup patty, that's right.

Andrew

It's real faux it's.

James

American cheese. It's like real cheese If it's not real cheese it says Real artificial cheese. Real artificial cheese, it says real artificial cheese. Or if it says real cheese food, real cheese food is the actual food cheese. That's right yeah.

Andrew

So this is a real, artificial foe, real, genuine, the genuine artificial column, the genuine artificial article.

James

Okay, yes, sir. So yeah, 15. Do we see? Do we just make out the fact that it's Okay, it's a column.

Andrew

It's a faux column.

James

Let's proceed down the room To the next set of faux columns.

Andrew

You two are going together.

Fable

Should we?

James

Yeah, what the hell. Yeah, we got Theo Pimble with us too.

Andrew

And Theo Pimble.

Fable

So do me a favor, you know what, maybe I don't want to do that.

Andrew

Not too late, damn. What is the weight of your character?

Fable

I knew it, I knew it. Oh my.

James

God. Oh, what is the weight?

Fable

Probably weight in the thing, can Dal jump back?

Andrew

Nope Dal, what is the weight of your character? I don't think I ever Did you determine a weight for your character?

James

Yes, 6'4", 150 pounds.

Fable

Soak and wet. I think I put 171.

Andrew

Okay.

Speaker 5

What.

Andrew

So the two of you are walking along. Just before you take your next step, you feel on the back of your neck, a hand grab you.

Catherine

Both of them.

Andrew

Both of them.

Fable

What about Theo Pimble? Is it Theo Pimble?

Andrew

It's Theo Pimble. Ah, Theo Pimble grabs you and stops you from taking the next step. He says don't go any further.

Catherine

The floor is lava.

Andrew

The floor is not lava. However, the floor is trapped. He says I need you to jump. You need to jump 10 feet to avoid the trap. Acrobatics, Acrobatics.

James

As long as it's not athletics, I'm okay.

Andrew

I would say take your pick athletics or acrobatics, However you'd like to.

Fable

They're both the same. Do you want to take?

Andrew

a running start. Yeah, jump over it. You can do whatever you want. Tell me how you're getting over this trap.

James

I jump, I roll a 13.

Andrew

You jump the 10 feet, just making it to the end, to the edge of the next piece of flagstone, without tripping the trap, dal.

Fable

I run, I jump and I roll a seven, oh boy.

Andrew

Oh boy Ickley, this one's on you.

Fable

Roll a strength check, oh my.

James

God. Breaking out the metal die Fifteen. Breaking out the metal die 15. Minus 3. 12.

Catherine

Could be worse.

Andrew

It is just enough. Yay, you catch Dal by the hand, as Dal is about to fall back into the trap. I hate that feeling, I hate that feeling, I hate that feeling, nope nope, nope, and you have just enough leverage because you were moving, because you both kind of jumped at the same time. So, your forward movement, you grab Dal and we're able to bring Dal onto the other side of the trap with you, so you're both successful in making it Yay and what about Theo Pibble?

James

I give him a 50-50 shot.

Fable

He's either going to join us or he's going to turn tail and run, oh yeah.

James

And because he stopped us from that, I do give him that respect.

Andrew

Theo successfully jumps over the trap and joins you.

Catherine

Okay, alright, I shake his hand and go much respect.

Catherine

I'm leaning more toward actually giving you a job are we at the doors?

Andrew

you're still about. Yeah, you're basically standing right in front of the doors now so we will quietly enter the room.

James

Uh-huh, very quietly, yes, and I will say Can you turn undead? Can you turn undead?

Fable

That's a good question. Where the hell would I check that? Oh?

James

yes, I can, I'll be ready to turn undead. There's sarcophagi in the room, or you said there's skeletons in, too right?

Catherine

Do we see any skeletons? There's six skeletons.

Andrew

There are three large stone sarcophagi and six skeletons in rusty mail propped up against the walls.

Fable

This is what.

James

I Okay. Are they in various places of the channel? I don't think so. Do that? No, we don't have to. What else does the room? Other exits in the room okay, so.

Andrew

So again, you're kind of on the in the southeast corner of this room that is 20 feet by 30 feet, so it's 20 feet forward to the wall and that's the wall that has the two sarcophagi on it.

James

Okay.

Andrew

The same wall, the other long wall of the room that had the double doors on it. So just to the right of the double doors is another sarcophagus, the third sarcophagus in the room.

James

Okay, so we're, we're in the door. Sarcophagus here, yes, sarcophagus there.

Andrew

Correct If you're looking to your right, like, look until about like one o'clock, so you're facing you're facing the wall with the two sarcophagi, okay. In that far right corner is a door, okay, and there's a door on the same wall you're on, okay, so you're in the bottom corner of the room. Up in the upper corner, on that same wall, is another door Gotcha, okay, okay.

James

So wall is another door Gotcha Okay.

Andrew

So, oh, and by the way, that's one of the sarcophagi.

Catherine

Oh my, oh my, the sarcophagi.

James

oh my, oh my sarcophagi it makes noises it does so here's my question to both of you are there skeletons throughout the room or are they one specific part of the room?

Andrew

there's kind of like guarding each sarcophagus are basically like two skeletons.

James

Okay.

Andrew

So the sarcophagus is lengthwise up against the wall and there's a skeleton to either side of each sarcophagus.

James

I asked Theo Pimble if he's ever been in this room.

Andrew

I normally don't dare going in this room by myself.

James

I'm sorry, but you've been in the room.

Andrew

I have been through this room, but only for a brief moment. I don't spend any time in this room.

James

Okay, brief moment. I don't spend any time in this room. Okay, which door do we venture through? Door number one, two, three here, just the way it sounds. Just the way it sounds is that if there's a skeleton, if there are two skeletons guarding each sarcophagi and we leave the sarcophagi alone and go through the room and they don't touch us theoretically.

Catherine

There could be some good stuff in the sarcophagi, though, Like I'm just thinking about when Joe went through everything and ended up with like a million special powers.

Fable

I want a million special powers.

Catherine

He smelled and looked really bad at the end of it, though, yeah, it was like this makes you do this, but also now you smell like death and like this lets you do this, but also now like your skin looks like it's rotting off your face.

Fable

Want me to grab her?

James

You have all the powers of the mummy, mm-hmm.

Andrew

She's fine Okay.

James

I love the fact that somebody recently asked, like what happens when the mummy touches you? Nobody had an answer Kills you steals your life force.

Andrew

So what would you like to do? Discuss amongst yourselves.

Catherine

I mean, can we murder these skeletons before they come to life?

James

Well, if Dal can turn you dead, you can turn them away, but it only lasts for so long.

Catherine

Got it.

James

Yeah, and you don't attack them if you turn them like.

Catherine

Right.

James

Kind of the lesson I should have learned when you intimidated somebody, I should not attack them. Same applies.

Catherine

Okay.

Speaker 5

I don't know.

Catherine

Yeah, I feel like we should investigate the sarcophagi, but I know we're going to wake up the skeletons. If we do, sorry, let me try that again without the yaw.

Andrew

One more time.

Catherine

I think we should look in the sarcophagi, but I know that the skeletons are gonna attack us if we do.

Catherine

One more time one more time.

James

Okay. So the other thing, the other thing I'm thinking is what if the sarcophagi are not actually true sarcophagi? That's the only thing that's holding me back from saying let's just get through the room and not what if they're sarcophagirls?

Speaker 5

nice wow you really buried me with that joke. Oh, oh.

Andrew

Dad jokes galore.

Fable

I could see that written on the wall of the freaking monster golf from yesterday, macy's, we could just put them all in a mausoleum?

James

Yeah, my only thought is what if the sarcophagi is to get to somewhere else within the thing? But there's two doors here, so we could check out what's in the doors and lee see if the skeletons well with the new Lightbringer mace it can deal an extra 1d6 radiant damage to undeads.

Fable

Hmm.

James

Problem is you have. I say we look through the other doors first. Maybe there's more storeroom or maybe it's somewhere else. That's just my thought, but I'll deal with whatever.

Catherine

I'm fine with doing that. I'm okay with opening. We can circle back.

James

Open.

Andrew

So what are you doing?

James

Okay, my thought is this. You said there's on this wall that you come through the two doors. There's one sarcophagi on that wall.

Catherine

Right.

James

And then there's a door Just beyond that sarcophagus yes, Now, because that door is on the same wall as this. My thought is check that door first.

Andrew

Is that what everyone's good with that? We're good with that so you're going to open that door.

James

Open that door, yeah.

Andrew

As the door begins to open slowly, you hear the movement of metal and all of the rusty mail that the six skeletons are wearing starts moving and they come to life and start to move toward you. Okay, roll for initiative.

James

If I close the door real quick.

Speaker 5

Never mind.

Andrew

They go back to their. No, I'm just kidding, Too late. Four for initiative Hang on, hang on. I gotta get my notebook out again and keep track of all this Dirty 20. Oh, hello, hello, there's my pencil. Didi, no, didi, no, okay, hang on, alright, so.

James

So I.

Andrew

You down Four.

Catherine

Four yeah.

Andrew

Cat Zanros Seven Cat Zanros, seven, cat Zanros Seven. Hang on, I gotta Roll for skeletons, roll for skeleton initiative. All six of them, my goodness. Alright, hang on, yadda yadda yadda. Doo doo, doo, doo doo. What's your dexterity Equium?

James

Twelve Okay, I think we have 12. Okay.

Andrew

Or you want me to roll a dexterity? No, no, no, no, no, oh good, yada, yada, yada, yada, oop, so many, so many, goodness gracious. So many, goodness gracious, so many initiatives. Zanros, you, what is your dexterity? 1818? Ok, and then I see what's there, Just giving them all the same it points. I'm not going to roll for their hit points. Make this easy. Okay, so the skeletons are going to. The one skeleton is going to attack first. They also rolled a 20. I think it's the dexterity.

Catherine

Whoever's got the higher dexterity yeah.

Andrew

So they're going to. They're right next to Equium, but they are going to attack Dahl.

Fable

Sorry, dahl, I do.

Andrew

Does an 18 hit.

Fable

If my armor class is 18, does it hit?

Andrew

Yes.

Fable

Okay, then yeah.

Andrew

All right, damn, and that is going to be five points of piercing damage. All right, equium, you are up next. Yeah, let me just put this in Um, I'm going to cast Eldritch Blast Against which skeleton you got one through six.

James

to pick from what's the closest one to me. We'll say one. I rolled one. I was going to roll one through six to see if that would work Perfect.

Andrew

So 20 to hit.

James

That's definitely going to hit and, by the way, I'm liking that it's working.

Andrew

Good.

James

What's up? Oh, it's working. Good. What's up? That's eight points of damage.

Andrew

Eight. Oh my God. So you, you nail this, like this skeleton, you basically the. You basically kind of blow off half its chest and one arm, its left arm. So half of its upper body and head basically at this point is gone. It just cleared off. So it's still got two legs and it's one arm with a sword and that's about all that it's got going for it. You did some significant damage to this one. I want everybody to roll. So the next skeleton is going to come after Zanrose, but before it tax Zanrose, I want everybody to roll. A perception check. Eight.

Speaker 5

Also eight eight also eight what was yours?

Fable

six. I have a plus five.

Andrew

I rolled on one yikes you notice, as these skeletons are beginning to attack, you notice something is different about the way they're attacking. I'll have you roll another perception, check in two after two more skeletons, mm-hmm, but you notice something is up. Okay, with how the skeletons are attacking you. All right, let's see what your Xanros. You've got a 19 now, right?

Catherine

Yeah.

Andrew

That's going gonna miss. So the skeleton comes after you. One of the skeletons comes after you and does not Takes a swing at you, but completely misses.

Catherine

I leap backwards as he swings at me.

Andrew

And as you leap backwards, another one comes after you With a nat 20.

Catherine

Dick, damn it.

Andrew

So that's going to be 11 points of piercing damage. Oh, 11 points of piercing damage.

James

Oh oh, you did add to your AC right.

Catherine

Yeah.

James

Okay.

Catherine

Yeah, but he had a 20. Not 20.

James

Oh, you had a, not 20. Yeah, that's a lot of good. Yeah, sorry, sorry.

Andrew

I'm sure you are. I really am good things. Yeah, sorry, sorry, I'm sure you are, I really am. Oh God, okay, zanros, yeah, you are up.

Catherine

Okay, so I'm assuming that the one who just came at me is within five feet of me? Absolutely, I am attacking him with my quarterstaff Right on. Okay, with my quarterstaff Right on. Ok, so that is a 16.

Andrew

A 16 will hit.

Catherine

Excellent, all right, my quarterstaff is 1d6 plus 4. No.

Andrew

Oh, she's stuck Ten, ten points of damage yeah and can I take a bonus action sure?

Catherine

flurry of blows okay ah a 2, not gonna hit, ah a two.

Andrew

Not going to hit Two will not.

Catherine

No.

Catherine

Will not hit.

Andrew

But don't you get two.

Catherine

On Flurry of Blues. Let me see.

Andrew

Isn't it two extra hits? I thought Flurry of Blues was two additional. It says one bonus action. Well, it's one bonus action, but hang on, floria Blows, starting second level, you're training. Spend a key point when you spend a key point oh yeah, to make two unarmed strikes yeah, so you have another unarmed strike.

Catherine

Okay, and it's a dexterity. I should be using my dex modifier, right? I?

Andrew

still don't think it would have hit. You have a plus six to whatever you roll yeah.

Catherine

So How'd you? Get a two, then I really had an eight. I didn't realize I had the plus six, but it's still not going to hit, is it A? I didn't realize I had the plus six, but it's still not going to hit, is it? A 14 would have hit, no, an eight. I rolled a two.

Catherine

Oh, you rolled a two. No, it wouldn't have hit. Okay, let's see what I got A seven, I rolled a one. All right.

Catherine

You're cocky. What I got cocky.

Andrew

What.

Catherine

I rolled a seven. Well, I rolled a 1, it's a 6, it's a 7, it's not gonna hit.

Andrew

So so you missed that guy.

Catherine

I missed that guy with my bonus action, yes, and then I got a so who is so everybody?

Andrew

now roll me another perception check.

Fable

Oh, that's better 20.

Catherine

10. 9.

Andrew

Dal, you're watching the action and you're noticing that, of these six skeletons, none of them are coming after Iquium no.

James

Because I'm a magic user.

Catherine

They're scared of you.

James

Or something like that. I'm a magic user, I'm a cleric, no, but we were told he was a master of the arcane. Oh, we're told he was a master of the arcane.

Andrew

Oh, there's something about Mary. There's something about Mary.

James

There's something about Iquium that.

Catherine

Hair gel, hair gel yeah, that's what it is my organic hair gel.

Andrew

Arcane hair gel. Hair gel yeah, that's what it is my organic hair gel arcane hair gel okay so we did the billy mays reference earlier.

Catherine

buy one container of arcane hair gel, get one free when you pay shipping and handling Shipping and handling only.

James

Okay, so my next little graphic project will be, in fact, the tub of OxyClean, only it's going to be Arcane Hair Gel.

Catherine

That's amazing, we never put Greska's Fresca up, did we?

Andrew

No, we haven't yet. Yeah, we need to do that. Okay, so again. So there's something about Iquium that the skeletons are not attacking him.

Speaker 5

I have an idea.

James

Can I yell just in the? If I have to wait my turn, that's fine, but I want to yell stop.

Andrew

Well, you don't realize this, Only Dal realizes this. Oh, oh oh.

James

It's Dal's perception.

Andrew

So Dal is the only one that notices. Okay, so, dal, if, before you notice something, dal will have to tell you that Gotcha.

Speaker 5

So only right now, Dal, I'm just everybody, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Andrew

Unbeknownst to you, but known to to Dal is the fact that the skeletons are not attacking you. Okay.

Catherine

I am invincible.

Catherine

Oh, no, no no, oh, mother oh.

James

We were making such progress.

Andrew

So, coming after Dal, now is another skeleton, and oops, oh, so much Dal. Now is another skeleton and Oops.

James

So much for me feeling really lucky right now. Well, I still feel lucky, but at the same time, Dal does a 17 hit.

Andrew

No, no, so that skeleton comes after you Now. The next one comes after Zanros.

Fable

Can I yell out? Can I yell and is going to miss entirely.

Andrew

Thank God, because I have one hit point left.

Fable

When it's your turn. Okay.

Andrew

Dal, it's your turn.

Fable

Can I yell and do something, or can I only yell?

Andrew

No, you can yell and take an action.

Fable

Okay, so I'm going to try to use that like face thing.

Andrew

Yes, the light bringer.

Fable

Mm-hmm.

Andrew

Okay.

Fable

I rolled a 22. Does a 22 hit on the gosh? I forget how many are.

Andrew

There's six of them.

Fable

I'll go for the sixth one, okay.

Andrew

That'll hit.

Catherine

Love this music. I was just thinking the same thing. Yeah, music's great.

Fable

That is seven radiant damage.

Andrew

Oh nice.

Fable

I'm going to yell out Iquium. Why the hell are they ignoring you?

James

I wonder Is it my turn?

Speaker 5

I just yelled that out. I attacked and you yelled that out.

Andrew

Iquium, now that you've heard this roll, a perception check. No, actually I'm trying to say no, hang on that. Perception, no role. Perception 15. No roll perception 15. Iquium.

Fable

Just confirm for me you're still wearing the red brand.

Andrew

Oh my god, cloak, are you not? Yes, I am you, ponder to yourself, remembering? You remember that you're wearing A red brand cloak? It's not your turn, xanros. Another one is coming after you and we'll definitely hit and we'll deal Five points of piercing damage.

Catherine

And I'm down again.

Speaker 5

Okay, um.

Andrew

So Dall, another one's gonna come after you, since you're the only one that it can attack. Okay, that's going to miss.

James

Equium, you're up. I yell for the skeletons to stop, and then I yell their blast.

Fable

I feel like maybe don't do Eldritch Blast, because then they're going to be like why the hell is my comrade Trying to?

Andrew

kill me. Roll a persuasion check.

Speaker 5

Just saying 16 16. All the skeletons cease movement yay um, and they all, they all kind of, except for the one that doesn't have a head.

Andrew

They all kind of. They all kind of except for the one that doesn't have a head. They all kind of turn in your general direction. The other one turns to the other side, noticing that you have talked to them.

James

Okay.

Andrew

What would you like to do?

Fable

These are our friends.

James

Yeah, I don't think it's going to go that far we need to stash them someplace or make them oh.

Andrew

I think I know where your mind's going. Like I saw the light bulbs turn on and I'm like I think I know what he's thinking.

Fable

I think I'm also. Well, I saw the lightbulb turn on and I'm like I think I know what he's thinking. I think.

James

I'm also Well. I have two ideas. One idea put him in the sarcophagus. Second idea is to send him out the other door and throw him in a pit, and that's really where I want to go with that.

Fable

I like the pit idea.

James

I tell them to march out the door To find the other intruders. Find the other intruders, go out that door.

Andrew

So they all turn and go out that door, they go down the hall and nothing happens.

James

Nothing happens, Like they don't fall in the pit. Oh, because you asked us how much we weighed. Okay, close the doors.

Andrew

Okay.

James

Is there any way to bar the door from the inside?

Speaker 5

No, well, I mean. I mean, do they open in or?

Andrew

do they open out, they open into, into the room? I mean there's.

James

Do they open in or do they open out?

Andrew

They open into, into the room, into the room. Okay, I was just going to say.

Catherine

You do have an unconscious rock gnome that you could.

Andrew

No, I was going to say there is a lid of a sarcophagus.

James

That's what I was thinking. You could put it in front of the door. If I could put that in front of the door, that's perfect, but that means you have to open up the sarcophagus Right right? Okay, here's what we're going to do, kira Zanros we take the lid off the sarcophagus and put it in front of the door.

Andrew

Now hang on. Before you open, I want to tell you about the sarcophagi.

James

Okay.

Andrew

Well, you're going to heal again.

Catherine

Why no sarcophagal?

Andrew

Heal again. Why no sarcophagal? Reach out, reach out and touch someone.

James

Ouch Ford home.

Andrew

The stone lid called Dal.

Catherine

How many points do I get? What happens now, dal Dal, you healed me, so how many?

Andrew

Well, you were like unconscious, right you just just conscious to me stabilized her does that give me like a point? You're at zero. I think at that point, or one you're at one hit point yeah so the stone lid of each sarcophagus is carved to depict the person entombed within Two human men and one human woman, all dressed like nobles.

Catherine

Ooh, maybe they're the Tresendars, hmm.

Speaker 5

Tresendars.

Catherine

Hmm, can I roll a history check, because you said this is like pinging something in the back of Zanros' head, right, yes?

Andrew

because you rolled a history check.

Catherine

Right and I failed it. Yes.

Andrew

Yes.

Catherine

Can I roll another one?

Catherine

can I say something about this, I don't know. Do you think those are the trisenders?

Andrew

they're dressed like my family, just you know taller so you're trying to determine if these are the trisenders like, who are the people in there?

Catherine

yeah, are they the trisenders?

Andrew

got so roll. A history check for that 19. You can confirm that they are the Tresenders? Hmm.

Catherine

Guys, I think I'm pretty sure those are the Trescendors. They were another noble family. I don't really remember how my family came to own this place, whether we bought it or inherited it, but they're definitely nobles.

James

So very likely we're in a family crypt.

Fable

Yeah.

James

Yeah, so Well, we've got to open one of them because we need the lid.

Andrew

Yep, that one, the one that I placed in between all of you, is one of the two sarcophagi from the noblemen. Okay, the nobleman's sarcophagus. In front of you there's the noblewoman and another nobleman as well. Which one would you like to?

Fable

This one.

Andrew

So who would like to open that one in front of you?

James

For the comedy. I would try my strength check to see if I could open it.

Andrew

Roll for strength. Give a strength check 14 minus 3.

James

11.

Andrew

You can, you're pushing it. You're not hurting yourself, but you're pushing it. You're not hurting yourself, but you're pushing it and it, it, it's not quite it's. You can hear kind of stone on stone, yeah, but it's not quite moving. You might need, you might need a little assistance okay, shall I jump in there then? Yes please 12. Between the two of you.

Fable

Between the two of us.

Andrew

Between the two of you. It's going to start. It's going to start moving. So, dow, why don't you take the lid off of that sarcophagus? Oh boy.

Catherine

What do I got what's?

Fable

up.

Andrew

Would you like to do an arcana check? Yes, please. Someone do an arcana check. Yes, please. Someone do an arcana check. Who has the?

Fable

highest 19. Oh well, there you go.

Andrew

You immediately Equium recognize these as potions of healing.

Speaker 5

Ooh, yay, huzzah.

James

Cool, do you have all your points back?

Catherine

No, I have one point.

James

Yeah, you're going to need one of those.

Catherine

Yeah, I have one in my inventory. Well take another one.

James

Yeah, and we'll each take one.

Fable

Shake it Spark.

Andrew

I know, yeah, they're liquid core potion bottles.

Catherine

They're for us to keep right.

Andrew

Yes. So who else who has additional potion bottles other than're? For us to keep right, yes. So who else who has additional potion bottles other than these?

Catherine

I have one. I have one.

Andrew

All right, so here, and you've got one as well, right, so each of you, I've got extras of these, so each of you take another one for your other potion bottle.

Speaker 5

Give that one to James.

Andrew

There we go. So now you've got some potion, some D4 potion bottles. That's awesome. They're so cool. I got these from another dice maker, malevolent Dice, and I've been following them on either Instagram or TikTok, I think Instagram and I missed their drops. They do these drops on a monthly basis, of all these really cool liquid core like potion bottles and things like that, and I miss it every month Because it's like he announces the time, or he or she, I don't know who it is. They announce the time when they have the drop and I always forget. Yeah, and I finally this time.

Fable

Whenever I do that, I set alarms.

Andrew

Yeah, this time I finally remembered and I got a set of the D4 potion bottles. So I'm really psyched. Yeah, super cute.

James

Yeah, malevolent dice Another great dice maker out there. So when we were just looking at it before I realized they were dice, I was thinking because of the cover on the sarcophagus, I was like, oh my gosh, they're like the Egyptian jars for the dead. It's not Coptic, and that's funny. That's the same word that I was thinking. I think that's funny. That's the same word that I was thinking. I think that's right.

Catherine

So Malevolent.

James

Dice they're like funerary jars.

Catherine

Malevolent Dice is Chris from Southern California.

Fable

Chris from Southern California, he seems.

Andrew

Canopic Very nice Ooh.

Catherine

Here's a picture of his little setup Canopic jars, yeah, nice.

Andrew

So yeah, so now you've got some potion bottle Excellent D4s to play with as well. So I told you I had all sorts of fun things, goodies, all sorts of goodies for this week, so I was very excited, all right. So so you successfully pried off the lid to the one sarcophagus and put it in front of you, and you, you've put it in front, I assume you put it in front of the door to block that from the, from the skeletons excellent. What would you like to do with the other two sarcophagi?

Fable

We might as well.

James

I mean we may as well look in them at least, since there was no body in it, it's just the potion bottles All other than the potion bottles.

Andrew

In that one was, it's just bones and scraps of clothing. There's nothing else to speak of in that particular sarcophagus, gotcha, but there are the other two, so there's a nobleman and a noblewoman that are still unopened. What would you like to do next?

Fable

Noblewoman.

Andrew

Yeah she's on the other, she's on the near wall.

James

Yeah, let's go for it.

Fable

Okay, Strength yeah.

Andrew

Strength check.

James

Eight minus three. Eight.

Catherine

Not 20. Oh, thank God Boom.

James

Tiny, it's a rock. I move Plus one, so 21.

Catherine

Yay.

Catherine

Wow.

Andrew

You nailed it so.

Catherine

Zanroth's little jumping jack. She's excited.

James

It's phenomenal.

Andrew

So when you?

James

There's a line on the floor a minute ago, but now I'm bench pressing sarcophagi, that's right.

Andrew

So when you, when you push off the lid to this sarcophagus, yeah. You notice something shining in inside this sarcophagus? Yeah, you notice something shining inside the sarcophagus. Ooh, shiny. Okay, do you want to take it, or?

Catherine

I mean, can I investigate?

Andrew

a little. It's small, but you want to do an investigation check. Yeah, okay, roll an investigation check.

Fable

You're smarter than me. I heard shiny. I was like yes.

James

Fable is a crumb, we're all just crumb An eight.

Andrew

So you can't tell what it is. It's small but clearly, clearly golden. Golden in appearance, but you can't quite make out what it is. I'm going to pick it up.

Fable

Yeah, All right, an appearance but you can't quite make out what it is I'm going to pick it up.

Andrew

Yeah, alright, what you pick up is a jeweled gold bracelet. Ooh, what can I sell this for Worth? I'm so glad you asked. Manufacturers suggested retail price of 140 gold pieces Woo.

James

I'm still looking for the Wheel of Fortune Dalmatian or the Porcelain Cheetah Either one.

Catherine

You remember when you had to spend all your money.

Andrew

Oh, I know right, Just giving you cash. Oh my God, All right, I guess I'll take that ugly painting.

James

Right. People started asking like yeah, if you take all those prizes, don't you still have to pay taxes on the, on the winnings?

Catherine

yes, oh yeah when people win a car, they have to pay taxes on the car yeah that's like the all those home improvement shows yes, like they make your house so much nicer and then your property taxes go up, oh yeah, and you can't afford it anymore.

James

That's why the love it or list it thing.

Catherine

Yeah.

James

In particular, I think they fix people's houses up like, okay, what's our budget? Well, let's see, I'm a Tibetan bowl healer, yes, and I run a daycare for owls, whatever.

Andrew

My budget's $750,000.

James

Exactly, that's it 100%.

Andrew

We're both public school teachers. Our budget for a new house is $1.2 million. What the hell.

James

What is going on?

Fable

How is that possible? This is so unrelated, but my mom just sent me a picture of Preed's toe beans.

Catherine

Toe beans, I love toe beans.

Fable

Toe beans.

Catherine

It looks like he's raising his hand. I know.

Andrew

I know, all right, so you've got two sarcophagi open. There's one left. Okay, what would you like to do with the last one you want to open?

Catherine

it up. Let's give her a whirl.

Andrew

Yeah, another strength check 10.

James

18 minus three, 15. 13. I'm very proud of that 15.

Andrew

That's amazing. That's the highest, the highest range rule I think they've had. So, Dal and Zanros are pushing it and Nick William just gets behind him and goes. I helped.

James

And realizing, I realize, of course, outside of game, I realize that I'm not the only one I helped. And realizing, I realize, of course, outside of game, I realize that I am the light end of the couch guy. I did it, I did it. So have you had a light end of the couch guy? Have you ever moved with the light end of the couch guy? No, so it's the guy that looks like he's doing stuff but he's not lifting anything. Oh yeah, and I had to move a convertible, a couch that had a bed in it.

Andrew

Uh-huh, oh my God, oh, those really heavy yeah.

James

Outside the condo I was renting, right, oh geez, we had to go out the outside staircase and what happens? And he's not lifting, we're lifting everything. It's like Ross and the pivot on. Friends, right, and then all of a sudden out of the couch. The whole bed goes. Oh no, it springs out over outside of the stairwell. Oh my God.

Andrew

It's an outside stairwell.

Speaker 5

So it's like there's literally.

James

We have to leave it there for a minute and go Should really take a picture of this. There's no cameras, those are like way before.

Andrew

Oh, my God. And and it was literally comedy Like you can't write comedy of a bed jumping out of the staircase, and it was because of the light end of the couch guy. Cause he wasn't Right, right, right, oh my God.

Catherine

I guess in our relationship I's the light end of the couch guy. Yeah, because he wasn't Right, right, right, oh my God.

Speaker 5

I guess in our relationship I'm the light end of the couch guy, because I always help move.

Catherine

I mean, I put in effort, but I can't put in the same level of effort you do, whatever you help, that's all that matters.

James

No, no, no, that's like, but you're not faking it no no, I am not. You're not like saying oh, look at me moving this whole couch.

Andrew

No I actually help. Good job guys. Yeah, you want to put that right over there. Yep, yep, great job, great job. I'm going to go outside and grab the other thing and do the stuff.

Catherine

Remember that time your dad thought I wouldn't be able to lift something and I literally took it with one hand, and hoist it I was going to the gym very regularly at that point.

Andrew

Alright, so we it would fall down. Now, that's right. So you open this last sarcophagus. Nothing in it, just dust and bone fragments and cloth. There's nothing to speak of in this sarcophagus. What happened to these people?

Catherine

Where are the tracenders? They're not in the sarcophagi.

Andrew

They're just bones. Oh, there are bones. Yeah, there are bones. They're just completely decomposed at this point. I thought there was nothing in there other than like no, no, no, no, no, no.

Catherine

Oh, so I just stole that lady's bracelet. Yes, oh that, I just stole that lady's bracelet. Yes, oh, that's probably bad luck.

Catherine

I mean Okay.

Andrew

Desecrated her grave Exactly, dang it. All right, do we want to go? Why don't we call it there before we explore into the other rooms? Yeah, you cleared this room, so the next thing that was happening was Iquium was going through that one door. Yes, so we'll pick up there.

Fable

Wait, did we get the last tomb?

Andrew

and I just forgot Sarcophagus yes, that was the last one.

Catherine

Remember that Iquium helped I helped, I helped, I helped, and then there was nothing in it.

James

Yeah, thanks, buddy, it's empty Great job, thanks, great job Really, really.

Speaker 5

We are so proud of you. We are so proud of you.

James

Such a big boy.

Andrew

All right, so you've cleared out a little bit of Tresendermanor now. You've cleared out a little bit of Tresendermanor now there are still skeletons that are in the waiting room In a hallway.

James

There's skeletons in a hallway I just picture them all face first against the wall, going where are we supposed to go?

Andrew

So now, that we've gone through this, I'll tell you. So, now that you, now that we've gone through this, I'll I'll tell you what you, what you missed. Let's I'll do a little recap of what, what you may have missed this is.

James

This is where we find our regrets.

Andrew

Not at all. So this is, this is. This is really funny. So so the yeah, the cistern, absolutely nothing to it. It was it was just water.

Catherine

We were just really overly cautious about it.

Andrew

The only thing in there was the satchel, the satchel that was hiding in the water. Okay, and that was literally it. The red brands that were in that room, I will tell you. You forgot to loot the bodies, damn, and they did have coin on them and stuff, so you did miss that.

Catherine

Yeah the trap in the hallway. It was a 100-pound limit.

Fable

So that's why Zanros went right across it without any problem. Well, also, I threw her but and she rolled.

Andrew

She rolled, she rolled over it.

Fable

So yeah, but.

Catherine

I was so tiny.

Andrew

You were so tiny it didn't matter. And the same thing with the skeletons. The skeletons weren't 100 pounds, so they went over it without a problem, but the two of you would have completely gone right through and there was nothing. It was just a pit, there was nothing. You would have gotten some bludgeoning damage hitting the floor of the pit, but nothing major to speak of. But Tobias helped you. What's his name?

James

Theo, theo.

Catherine

I'm like sitting here like is he making an arrested development reference? Like what's happening? I couldn't, I couldn't.

Andrew

I couldn't remember his name Theo, theo pimple. So Theo pimple saved you from that. Um yeah, and, and the weirdest thing was cause I was trying to figure out how to cause I cause I knew the skeletons were going to like decimate these two because Theo and you had the the red brand cloaks on, and so that that was the thing it said the skeletons don't go after anybody with a red brain cloak on.

James

So so, even if they were wearing the cloaks, despite the fact that they were either too long or too short wouldn't have mattered. It wouldn't have mattered.

Andrew

Wouldn't have mattered.

James

They had the cloaks on and that had the cloaks on that way.

Andrew

That would have done it. Y'all would have been safe damn yeah well shucks so I had I had to play around with that because I was like I'm like I gotta figure out a way for them to figure out that yeah, when you said it, I immediately went to oh well, there's a wizard in here or something.

James

No, no just your, just your cloak you're, you're, you know you're wearing the Jake from State Farm outfit.

Fable

That's right, you know you talking to Jake from State. Farm what are you wearing Jake from?

Catherine

State Farm hideous she sounds hideous.

James

Oh, awesome, awesome she sounds hideous Awesome, awesome, all right so lessons learned. Don't attack the intimidated. What have we learned today? Equium, Do a little segment we like to call Equ.

Catherine

I think, liam this is how you fucked up. This is the segment called James. We love you, but could?

James

you cut that shit out? Could you cut that shit out Can?

Andrew

you knock it off.

James

Oh man, I'll tell you where it comes from, though. It comes from years of playing and always, like you, let the one guy go and then the army comes after you, and that's literally where the reaction comes from Sure, I get that. You cannot Guess what they're not getting out of live. We have to chase them so they don't tell anybody else. Right, I get that yeah you go full murder hobo.

Catherine

I get it, but we could have also tried to convince them to work at the B&B or like work at the B&B.

Andrew

I hear you. I hear you purring down there, hey Mulder. Mulder is purring away. Alright, so that will conclude this part of Tresendermanner. I had really hoped you would have nailed that first history check, because there is some lore about the Tresenders that you should know. Yeah, we'll get to it at some point. But I'm hopeful You'll learn that. Cool, but anyway. But I'm hopeful you'll learn that. Cool, but anyway cool. Any thoughts?

Catherine

questions on what happened.

Andrew

There's so much more to this hideout that you got to explore, so I'm really excited.

Catherine

Before the next one, do we take a long rest so that I don't die?

Fable

Yeah.

Andrew

No, there's really no long rest. No, I would say short rest, probably not. How long is a short rest? Four hours, yeah, or no. One hour. Short rest is one hour yeah, anywhere from short was four hours, yeah or no.

James

One hour shortest is one hour yeah, anywhere from one to four hours anywhere from one to four hours. Chill out in sarcophagus room for an hour so that I can get some so like I can tell you as a because I've been, what do you mean?

Andrew

no you there. If you, if you stayed in this room for a couple of hours yeah other people would discover you.

James

That's why you could hide in sarcophagus.

Catherine

Exactly, there's three of us.

James

There's three sarcophagi I would never get out, I would be dead.

Catherine

And Theo Pimble can wait outside.

Andrew

Yeah, so what are your hit points at right now?

Catherine

One.

Andrew

Well, you've got a healing spell, right, but that uses a spell slot.

Catherine

Yeah, I've got a healing potion, but I have to take it on an action.

Andrew

Can I just steal myself? You can take an action and do a healing potion.

James

But I can do a short rest. Here's the benefit of short rest.

Andrew

The hit die.

James

Well, not the hit die For, not only not the hit, for me it's different because I get my skills back.

Speaker 5

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fable

Because, if I but like I have if I do a short rest, I get one spell slot.

James

Right. So, I mean, I've only used elder splice doesn't count because it's cantrip.

Andrew

It's a cantrip yeah. But it means I have one slot left for my other Right.

James

Because all I could think of was oh great, I attacked the guys who were intimidated, xanros is down and now I have to use Arms of Adar, which I kind of love, that spell.

Andrew

Right.

James

So I would think, Because the visual is just I love it, love that spell, right.

Andrew

So I would think, because the visual is just, I love it, I love that, I love that. But think about I would suggest think about more of the negotiation skills, like it doesn't always have to be an attack.

James

So what you're saying is I shouldn't kill everything in my path.

Andrew

I get it, I understand. Just saying there are more than one way to deal with a situation. It does not always have to be spellcasting and weapon wielding. It could be conversations and other things. That's always. That's always an important thing to remember. It's I. I'm bullying me, I'm, I'm of the, I'm of the murder hobo school. I I love. Like I'm like after a long day of work, I'm like all I want to do is kill shit like that, like I just want to like let's go like cause here's the thing Like I love, I love our Wednesday nights cause I enjoy the role playing.

Andrew

I love, I love the role playing aspect of it. But like monday nights, monday nights is like my kill shit night, like I just like I'm like I will go after anything and everything and just like I don't care, I don't care if I die, because I'll just roll up a new character, right? So I will just go head first.

Catherine

I care if I die.

Andrew

I know you care. I don't want you to die.

James

I do have to say. What's really fun about Equium is that there are so many opportunities to fail. It sounds funny, but it's like it makes you think differently about the game. You have to either be in total acceptance of the fact that one you're relatively squishy.

Andrew

Yeah.

James

You know Right, and and two, like I keep on looking at the stats and I'm like I know you guys roll this up and I'm like, but why, why, Like? You know, and it's like I know like there's plenty of like for NPCs and stuff. Like I roll up plenty of care. I'm like, oh yeah, this guy's a farmer.

Andrew

Right.

James

You know whatever, or you know whatever it might be. But I think there's absolute comedy in the fact that you know you've literally pulled out your entire back because you tried to lift you know something off the street. You know it's like you know thinking about and I was actually because I was thinking about the game I was at the gym this morning. Okay, so the whole D and D strength equation is for every point of strength you have, that represents 10 pounds that you can bench press, right. So I'm like, okay, what does it feel like to be able to you know to to lift 50 pounds and bench press 50 pounds?

James

So, I'm like, okay, well, I can bench press 50 pounds, that's not a thing. But realizing like what if that was the max?

Andrew

Right.

James

And it just makes you go oh okay, there's a physicality to this, it's not, you know it's very interesting. Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, totally to me it's fun to think about. I mean it's like yeah, I know it's completely geeky, like how many, how?

Fable

many things can I lift? Would any bonus you have be an extra 10 you can lift, like if you have a plus one on your strength, or is that a weird way of thinking about that?

James

um think about strength as the your base.

Andrew

Strength is what you can bench like what's your, what's your strength for? For equium?

James

five five, so you can so it means I can, I can bench press 50 pounds, right. But the minus it's giving you, if you think about it, is kind of the physicality of it, right. It becomes cumbersome to try and move something bigger like you just don't have. Like, what I thought was great is like when you were telling me, like I was pushing the circle, like I get to hear the stone, but it's like, okay, I'm not then I roll that really great roll and I'm like that's the highest strength I've gotten.

James

Oh, yes, let's go. And it's like I'm a big boy, you know like it's like okay, right exactly. And it's still not. You know, is it successful for Iquium? Yes, but it still only means that there's. You know only so much that that can apply to.

Andrew

Right exactly.

James

I think that becomes the fun of know somebody. I don't know whether it was, it was probably brendan lee mulligan or or matt mercer. They're like no failure is fun if you really think about it, if you let yourself, because I, oh yeah, I've run into people who who get viscerally angry when they fail in dnd and they're like, oh yeah, I'm gonna, we're gonna die it's so much fun to.

Andrew

I think it's so much more fun to roleplay failure.

James

Oh, 100% it's hysterical, I'm sorry.

Andrew

What did you roll for the strength check to throw A?

Fable

two.

Andrew

To throw Zanros. So I'm like okay. So I mean, dal is still strong, so how do you fail at?

Speaker 5

What does that look like?

Andrew

So you hit the ceiling.

Speaker 5

And that's great.

James

And I know, I know I said, keep in mind you have horns, Because all I could think of was oh God. All I could think of was Dal throwing. If all I could think of was Dal throwing Xanros and Xanros just getting caught on Dal's horns and you're like expecting Xanros to be down the thing and all of a sudden you look up and there's.

Andrew

Xanros, just hanging off the one horn, yeah.

James

Just okay, that didn't go well. Oh well, exactly, that's like. That's like, that's where it becomes so much more fun, I think, it's absolutely the fun of you know, the fun of the fun of failure is a real thing.

Fable

I did the math. She can bench press one 20. Is that what it is? Bench pressing? What's your what's?

Andrew

your strength, score 12. Yeah exactly yeah.

James

And it used to be like in in first and second edition. First edition was you had, and it used to be like in first and second edition. First edition was you had you could only get up to 18, and then you'd roll percentiles Because you could have the strongest you could be was just shy of 19, which was 18, double zero strength, and that was that. You could military press or bench press or what have you 180 pounds, which, yeah, but now it's a little different. It's actually a little. I think it's actually a little easier to.

Andrew

Yeah.

James

You talk about rolling up stats and Stephen Colbert, who loves D&D, oh yeah, he goes. Yeah, well, we'd farm people out. And Matt Mercer's, like what? Like yeah, they become a farmer. Like, okay, start completely over, that guy's a farmer, he retires from adventuring goes back to farming. He's completely unsuccessful because there's not a stat above 12. You know that kind of thing. I think it's 12 or 14 or whatever.

Andrew

That's great. It's like yeah. All right, everybody, thank you, thank you. Thank you all so much for playing today. I hope you had fun.

Catherine

Absolutely.

Andrew

I thought we were going to get so much farther in this. Yeah, the cistern, the cistern really got you guys.

Catherine

Like this was like became obsessed with it. I was positive there was going to be something.

Fable

I'm like. You made it sound so suspicious.

Catherine

Well you do that with everything, you make everything sound suspicious. So how are we supposed to know what's not suspicious?

Andrew

Exactly, but it's just like it's really just cold, fresh water, there's nothing. But that's why? Well, because with Theo he put his hand in it. Well, I mean, at first he goes one, two, three, Like I was just fucking with you at that, Right.

James

And that says it all. That was what said it all.

Andrew

So see, really the fact that we got his first word.

James

You are to blame.

Andrew

That is my fault, yeah, but then afterwards, theo just put his hand in it and he was like no, there's got to be something to this. He's just holding his hand. He's just swishing his hand in the water.

Fable

I thought I was like oh, he's a red brand, the thing knows that it's like he's chill.

Andrew

The water knows he's a red brand. I was ready, like is James, like I want you to go in the water. I'm like, okay, I'll go in, right, and you could have really messed with me going.

James

He starts writhing in pain and melting.

Andrew

Like oh my God, I just paid this guy a gold piece to jump in a vat of acid.

James

What kind of person am I?

Fable

Like that, you know, and I'm like, hmm, I'd roll a percentile to see like how, how many minutes he stayed underwater.

Andrew

Just yeah, like okay he's definitely dead, he's definitely you know there's actually, there's actually a scuba tank under there that he was just breathing from well, I did get in the whole cistern thing, I did get flashbacks uh-huh and I think I've told you the story of my nephew.

James

Oh yeah, yeah, it was literally an empty room. It was an empty room in the whole cistern thing. I did get flashbacks and I think I've told you the story of my nephew.

Andrew

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

James

It was literally an empty room. It was an empty room with bunks in it it had. It had two sets of two bunks. That was it. There was nothing and it was a module that it was just like it was empty. But it was literally the first thing they came to that was the bereft of anything, right, and he got so suspicious and he's like no, it's Uncle James, he's trying to kill us Exactly. I'm like I'm trying to have fun.

Andrew

Sometimes a room is just a room Sometimes and I said that.

James

But at the end I said, well, roll a dexterity. And he rolled a one. And I said you hit your head on the bunk. And he rolled a one. And I said you hit your head on the bunk. And from that point on it became like a hallucinating fever dream of the room turning into and I made a giant pina colada.

Andrew

Right.

James

And turned the room into a blender and in the end he was like so nothing happened to me. I'm like no, you hit your head on the bunk, you were unconscious and dreaming about it and he goes. Uncle James, I'm going to need a minute.

Andrew

You go ahead and take a minute.

James

Sometimes a room is just a room.

Andrew

That's right. That's it, that's right. Sometimes a cistern is just a cistern. All right, guys. Again, thank you so much for playing today. Thank you everybody for listening Again. Check out, well, definitely help support. Please help support the podcast Legendslootandloresupercastcom. Check out that. Check out Long Dog Dice. Check out Malevolent Dice. Check out all those fantastic dice makers that are out there and their small businesses. Help support them. For sure, they're absolutely fantastic. Don't forget, we have an extra Shattered Obelisk, d20. So for the month of May, it's gorgeous.

Andrew

Yeah, thank you. Thank you to Jen and making those. They're absolutely beautiful. Glow in the Dark. D20 from the Shattered Obelisk. You'll see it on our social media platforms all through the month of May. Anybody. Oh, that's so cool, I'll get a picture of that for you.

James

There you go. That's the way to do it.

Fable

No, because whenever I take a picture of the podcast it always fails to send to you.

Catherine

It's a thing, it's so weird.

Catherine

I don't understand. It's very weird. I.

Fable

It's a thing, it's so weird. I don't understand. It's very weird. I'll take a picture with your phone, or I can do the flashlight and you I'll do a flashlight.

Andrew

Oh, we're taking pictures of the glowing D20. They're amazing.

Catherine

It's really cool.

Andrew

Yeah, they're super cool. So you have a chance to get one for yourself. Again through the month of may we will be. We'll be posting that online so you can email, I think, podcast at legends, loot and lorecom and and send us your contact info and we'll put you in for a drawing for for the shattered obelisk d20 glow-in-the-Dark D20. All right, thank you again everyone. Have a great day and we'll catch you next time.

Catherine

Bye, bye, bye, bye.

Catherine

Bye, thank you.

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