Legends, Loot, & Lore: A Players's Guide to Dungeons and Dragons

Chaos, Charisma, & Critical Rolls: Our Trio's Continued Epic Adventure

Andrew S Season 2 Episode 14

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 5:08:05

Send us Fan Mail

We are back! After a long hiatus, the adventuring party returns. Join us for a super-sized episode this week as we continue our journey.

What happens when a deer's head, a mischievous dog, and iconic movie lines converge in a single podcast episode? Join us for a session brimming with humor and nostalgia as we reunite with our adventure-loving crew in the whimsical world of Phandelver and Below: The Shattered Obelisk. From clever disguises and telepathic plots to encounters with bugbears and cryptic treasures, we revisit the highlights of our last session and tease you with the excitement of what's to come. Will Callie join the fray and add an unexpected twist to their journey?

As our heroes navigate the perilous dungeon, the stakes are high and the strategies even higher. Iquium, Zanros Bemblebomble, Dal, and the gang face guarded doors, mysterious voices, and the taunting of Redbrand guards. With quick wit and a dash of magic, the team attempts to outsmart their foes through clever ruses involving shape-shifting allies. But as dice determine destiny, plans go awry, leading to an inevitable showdown. Experience the thrill of unpredictable decisions and the camaraderie that makes role-playing games an exhilarating adventure.

Amidst the chaos of a prison break and the search for hidden passages, our adventurers remain undeterred. Whether it's tackling foes with Eldritch Blasts, strategizing in the armory, or searching for an emerald necklace in a shop overrun by the undead, this episode captures the heart of epic storytelling. With a touch of humor and pop culture nods, the session is a rollicking ride filled with teamwork, unexpected challenges, and the promise of more thrilling quests ahead. Join us and witness the vibrant spirit of tabletop gaming unfold in a world where anything is possible.

Support the show

1. Visit our website! www.legendslootandlore.com
2. Support the Podcast! Help us do what we love and bring you more great D&D content. legendslootandlore.supercast.com
3. Follow us on social!
Instagram
Facebook
TikTok
4.  Join our Discord Server!

Music by June Westfield
Apple Music
Spotify

Logo design by Ryan Denora
https://www.ryandenora.com/

Andrew

All right, Welcome back to another episode of Legends, Loot and Lore. What Don't give me that look.

Catherine

What was that?

Andrew

I don't know. Okay, Legends, Loot and Lore.

Catherine

Yes, that's what you usually say Legends Loot and Lore.

James

That's what you usually say Legends, loot and lore. Thank you, thank you, sir.

Andrew

Can you also say this is CNN, this is CNN.

Zanros

I am your father.

James

Excellent. If I had a fan, I'd do the Tommy Boy thing. Oh, I know, I know.

Speaker 4

Luke fan, I do the tommy boy thing.

James

oh, I know luke while you're sitting there, being not slim, oh my god I just I just die with a deer in the car, just every single time it's just so yes and and part of it is because my, my dad, had a deer's head and and when we were kids, the dog freaked out because we took it out of a box and he freaked out and was like oh, wow looking at the thing. So of course, my sister and I had to chase the dog, of course.

Andrew

Well, of course, and later on, the dog chewed the dog, of course. Well, of course.

James

And later on the dog chewed the nose off the stuff.

Andrew

Oh, my God Wow.

James

He got his vengeance.

Andrew

I apparently yeah, All right, so we are. We are back with with the crew to play some more Phandelver and below the shattered obelisk. Very exciting when last we met our intrepid crew, you were in the crypt. You were in the crypt with the sarcophagi and sarcophagals.

James

I'm sorry, I love that.

Catherine

Can I quickly read my notes?

Andrew

from last session. Oh, please do.

Catherine

Here's what I opened my notebook to Glass Staff. Master of the Arcane Arts. Okay, yes, bugbears, nair, the Guardian Swirly Wow.

Andrew

This is going to be an adventure, so you.

James

So it's when those things kick in that it really becomes fun, because you're like oh yeah, like oh that, because I have pages of notes like that.

Andrew

Exactly.

James

So I totally I don't know, we haven't played this in a month.

Catherine

I approve of your notes, thank you.

James

I'm supportive of your notes.

Andrew

I think it's been more than a month, right.

Zanros

Yeah, I think so.

Andrew

It's been over a month, so you entered the underground of the former Trescender Manor. I'm surprised Xanros hasn't put the sign out front future home of the Bemble Bumble B&B yet.

Catherine

How did it time?

Andrew

Maybe soon I'll get there. So you came into the basement, there was the whole interaction with the cistern, the, the completely benign cistern that caused so much, so much trouble. Um zanros, I believe, intimidated several red brands into leaving and and iquium decided to take an attack of an opportunity attack on them, and then they decided to well, fight back. So that was genius, um thank you, you. You then went into the hallway and had your, your misadventures there, and you.

Speaker 4

With Theo.

Andrew

Theo Pimble. I keep forgetting Theo Pimble's name. Theo Pimble was with you. He saved you from falling into the trap. You got into the crypt. You saw the name Trescender. It means something to Xanros. However, xanros is not quite sure what that meaning is yet. It pinged something in her brain, but not quite sure yet. So you opened up. You got the potions, the potions of healing. What else did you? There was that there was something else in the one crypt. Yes, your little, tiny potions of healing.

James

Those are awesome, so cool.

Fable

And I don't know where they are, because they have been moved quite sadly.

Andrew

So let's see. So you're in the crypt. Oh, the jeweled gold bracelet.

Catherine

Yes, worth 140 gold pieces.

Andrew

Yes, so you've got that as well. That was also in my notes. Yes, so you've got that as well.

Catherine

That was also in my notes. Yes, under Nair and Swirly's. Yes.

Andrew

So anybody have any questions or any other recollections, or would you like to yes?

James

I have a question because I think I asked this the last time.

Andrew

Did I not answer it last time?

Catherine

I don't know, but initially. James hasn't listened to the episodes.

Andrew

That's right, I forgot. Yes, ask away. I am happy to refresh your memory or make something new up. I'm just behind.

James

That's all. Refresh your memory or make something new up.

Andrew

I'm just behind, that's all. There's a difference between being a little behind and a big ass.

Zanros

Wow, oh, a2 fable.

Fable

Wow, ouch, this is a bad time to mention I also haven't.

James

You're all good, You're being very supportive of me and I love you for it. Thank you.

Andrew

We're all here. This is a safe space. This is a very safe space, except for me.

Catherine

Yeah, not for James, no, not for James Except for me.

Andrew

So what was your question, James?

James

for me. So what was your question?

Andrew

james, my question was am I able to take callie with us? As a matter of fact? You are okay, so would you like to? Would you like to summon? Yes, or do you want to go? All right?

James

well, well, that was. My next question was can I telepathically call her?

Andrew

So this gets to be a little tricky. So you don't have the ability to speak telepathically. It's not a skill. You have teleathy, so right, or do you? Maybe I'm am? I am I misreading your character sheet? Forgive?

James

forgive me for awakened mind, you can telepathically speak to any creature. Oh, I have to be able to see it within 30 feet got it so that answers that question so.

Andrew

So, so that the the short answer is yes, you can go get callie, okay. However, remember, between you and callie are about six skeletons in a hallway that you locked in that hallway. But I have a red cloak oh, that is true, I forgot. But Callie, well, I don't want to. I was going to say but what does Callie, would they care? I was going to say you could steal the one off of Theo Pimble and or, remember, remember back in that other, remember, in the room off to the cistern. Remember there were other cloaks there as well, so you could grab a cloak if you wanted to and put it on Callie.

James

Well, let's see if that works.

Andrew

Okay.

James

Okay, so I will make my way back through that hallway over the pit of spikes.

Andrew

It wasn't even a pit of spikes, it was just a hole in the floor. Oh, it was just a hole in the floor. It was just a hole in the floor.

James

Oh, I thought it was like the whole floor.

Andrew

No, no, no, no, no, no. I just pictured this chasm of spikes. No, it was literally like a hole in the floor. You'd get like two bludgeoning damage if you fell in there. Oh, you're much kinder than I am. It was nothing. I know you guys are level two at this point. I'm not going to, and there goes the whole party, and there's the whole party.

James

Welcome to Legends, loot and TPK.

Andrew

That's right, all right, so you're going to go back out. Yeah, bring Callie. Yes.

James

With you.

Andrew

Okay.

James

And. I'm going to give her a little red blankie to to to wrap around her like a little cape.

Andrew

Little red, little red riding hood.

James

Yes.

Andrew

Exactly.

James

Hey, little red riding hood, what big teeth you got there.

Catherine

oh sorry this was to a really weird place, just saying not the first time no, but it's early it is alright.

Deceptive Encounter in the Dungeon

Andrew

So you are now in the crypt. The skeletons didn't bother. Didn't bother either one of you, and where what?

Zanros

was that.

James

It was.

Andrew

Oh, okay, okay, yes, catherine.

Catherine

Nothing. Oh, I thought you had something to say no, I'm just being weird.

Andrew

Okay, so you can. So you're in the crypt. To the north of the crypt, in the northwest corner of the crypt, is a door In the northeast. On the eastern wall, on the northern side is another door. Yes, James.

James

I have a question as far as the orientation of our new lovely poster-sized map that you have given us.

Andrew

Is that north, if you notice the big compass on the map.

James

Wow, wow, wow Served again.

Catherine

Okay, in James' defense.

Andrew

Let me draw your attention to the giant compass on the map.

Catherine

No, no, my. What do you call this?

Andrew

Your dice tray.

Catherine

Yeah, my dice tray was on top of the compass when.

Andrew

James was looking Well. I say that's fair. It's not James' fault, it's your fault, it's my fault.

Catherine

Stop making fun of James.

James

I am vindicated.

Catherine

Just for now.

Speaker 4

That's fine, just for now.

James

It's always the spellcaster that's the target.

Andrew

So you are the weakest link. You are the weakest link. Goodbye, goodbye. So where, which door would you like to go through?

James

I will defer to Xan Rosendale, because you know I might Leroy Jenkins the whole thing.

Andrew

So in what order? So let me do this, do a Zanros.

Catherine

Yes.

Andrew

I'm sorry.

Catherine

Yes, oh, I'm sorry.

Andrew

Yes, there we go, zanros. Give me sorry. Yes, there we go, xanros. Yeah, give me a perception. Check. Poor Dao. Dao is in the dank dungeon that is the basement of the Tresenderman. Dao has caught cold 15.

Andrew

15 no no, no, no, you're good, um, so in the, in that far, but behind that far northeast, northern eastern door you you can hear some voices. Far northeast, northern eastern door, you can hear some voices. You can't determine how many voices. There are multiple voices. There is a conversation being had, but that is all that you can determine.

Catherine

Okay.

Speaker 4

Do we feel like killing stuff that?

Catherine

was. I think that was a double yes.

Andrew

How much how are your um your hit points, um? You know what are you seven you have seven left. Yeah, I have nine seven out of twelve and you got nine out of twelve, nine out of twelve. Okay, I don't know how the hell james is dick. We've hadweave has 21 hit points 21 hit points.

Fable

Well, because they didn't go after him.

Andrew

No, no, but he's a maximum User. Spellcasters are pretty squishy.

Catherine

Yeah, he takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

Andrew

I know Well he is Mr Glass.

James

And Callie has 28 out of 37.

Andrew

Okay.

James

Although I don't know that I ever reset hers, or if we give you that.

Andrew

We can assume she's got how many 28 out of 37. You can assume that Callie has many 28 out of 37. You can assume that Callie has taken a short rest at this point and that's probably back to full health.

Fable

Sounds fun. I said that sounds fun, right, okay, I said that sounds about right.

Catherine

Okay, so I assume we're going through that door. Yes, alright, should we put Equium in front, since he's got so many hit points, and now for another episode of front, since he's got so many hit?

James

points. And now for another episode of the wizard meat shield.

Andrew

Yes, For months, the red brands have been capturing travelers in the area and holding them until they can be ransomed. This long room is partitioned into three areas. Holding them until they can be ransomed Could be friends. This long room is partitioned into three areas, with iron bars walling off the north and the south. Filthy straw lines the floors of those cells, the hinged doors of which are secured by chains and padlocks. A pair of human women are held in the cell to the south, while a human boy is confined to the north. Three red brands stand guard. They have been taunting. What you've been hearing is them taunting the hapless prisoners. What would you like to do? Because you've gone through the door at this point?

Catherine

correct, so have they seen us.

Andrew

Oh, they already. They're very aware of your presence.

James

I suggest I will go through the door with Callie first.

Speaker 4

Okay.

James

Oh, but I'm wearing a red cloak.

Catherine

What's that Please provide?

James

But I'm wearing a red cloak so, and so is Callie, and so is Callie, sorry, hey.

Catherine

Sorry, I was reminding Fable to try to tell us when they're going to cough.

Andrew

Yes, please.

Catherine

My bad.

Andrew

So Equium and Callie have entered the chat with their red brand capes on. What would you like to say to these three other red brands?

James

I'm going to walk through the door. I'm like can you believe this guy? He learned how to turn into a wolf Amazing, have you seen this trick?

Andrew

So, what are you trying to do? Are you trying to um? Are you? Are you trying to deceive them? Are you trying to intimidate them? Okay, so then roll for deception 19 plus two 21. Boom. So they are all taken aback. They completely believe you that somehow this red brand has turned into a large dire wolf and they're just like oh my God, what happened?

James

We were having a drink and he said dude, you cannot even believe what I learned how to do, and he did it. But I can't get him to turn back now.

Andrew

Is he friendly?

James

Go ahead give him scritches. I don't know if that would offend him I haven't. I haven't petted him, to be perfectly honest with you.

Andrew

So. So let's see here Animal handling is a wisdom Alright, so they are going to Roll an animal handling check I got to find where's my good D20. I've got too many dice in here.

Speaker 4

What.

Andrew

You heard me. I said I have too many dice. I admit it, okay.

James

You've hurt me with that one. That's what really hurt. You can say anything you like, but saying you have too many dice, that's just not right.

Andrew

So, oh, okay, so they all roll reasonably. So you tell me, since you have the bond with Callie, the lowest they rolled was a 10 for animal handling. Is that enough to prevent Callie from attacking?

James

Well, do you want me to roll like I don't know? Would it be a charisma? Roll on her behalf.

Andrew

That's a good question.

James

To see if she reacts, because if it's a charisma, roll, it would probably be easier for her because she's got low charisma.

Andrew

Not to me, of course. I think it's just completely up to you. I don't think, I don't think how he needs to roll, just what. What do you think? What do you think? Because you, like I said, you're, you're bonded to callie I think so uh I think she'll be really pensive.

James

She'll sit, she'll sit down. Oh okay, she'll just sit, got it and be like yeah, I think her reaction is more like I, I'll wait this out until I eat them, or you know what have you. But she'll be chill because I'm, you know, All right. It's kind of our little act of like her almost attacking me but just rolling over Right, right, right. You know, giving belly scritches, and she might even she might even do that to the person who rolls highest.

Andrew

So one of the, so one of the red brands asks you, have you, have you tried a healing potion? Do you have any healing potions or anything? What have you, what have you tried to to get him to turn back into a human?

James

Well, I gave him a flag of a flag and a veil, but I don't have any.

Andrew

That's not going to get him drunk.

James

Well, we were getting drunk at the time, so you know. But he's either forgotten or something, I don't know. It's kind of weird.

Speaker 4

Hmm.

Andrew

All right. So what do you?

James

Well, we came to relieve you Because I figured they're going to be terrified of him as a dog.

Andrew

Okay, so now this is a new deception. So the first deception was that Callie was a red brain that turned into a dire wolf. Now you're trying to deceive them that you are. You are their relief absolutely ten sigh crying out loud. We just started our shift, why would you be here to relieve us?

James

Yeah, I think I have one too many.

Zanros

Okay.

Andrew

You should go dunk your head in the cistern and sober up.

James

There's something in there. I swear it. I'm not going to do that. I might let him drink out of it, but hey, something in there.

Prison Break Chaos and Battle

Andrew

Don't you know that we don't have it? We've been drinking from the cistern all the time. We don't have any problem with it. What's?

James

your problem with the cistern. That explains a lot Just water.

Andrew

Excuse me, what Meow. Just goes over their heads. So what would you like to?

Catherine

do so am.

Andrew

I correct to assume these dumb dummies haven't seen us yet. Well, because Callie is so big, it's in the door Between Iquium and Callie. They're kind of blocking the view past the door, so they're not yet able to see you, so they don't know what's going on.

Catherine

The element of surprise.

Andrew

Beyond that, and Theo, don't forget, theo was with you.

Catherine

Freaking Theo Pimble.

Andrew

Yes.

Catherine

Shouldn't they know Theo Pimble?

Andrew

But they can't see Theo Pimble.

Catherine

I know, but look who we sent Theo Pimble in.

Andrew

Is Theo Pimble on your side or their side?

Catherine

That's a great question. That's a great question.

James

I.

Andrew

What would you like to do?

James

I mean I'd like to Eldritch Blast them all, but that's.

Catherine

Of course you would. That's me. That's Equium's go-to move, eldritch Blast.

James

Oh, so, until he so in all seriousness, until he so in all seriousness, until he, like, until this wears off, so he doesn't, you know, eat us. Maybe we should keep him in here. I'm willing to watch him because I've been with him for, like it's hilarious, he's rolling over like asking for belly rubs, the whole you know doing, the whole dog thing, and you know what do I know? Like, yeah, I mean, I saw it happen.

Andrew

It's pretty incredible well, okay, so we, we could, so so we can take the. We can take the little kid, yeah, we can take him out of that cage, lock him up with the, the two women, and, and we can take the little kid, we can take him out of that cage, lock him up with the, the two women, and, and then we can put, we can put this guy in in that cell, wait till hopefully he changes and and leave him locked up there.

James

Okay.

Andrew

All right, yeah, we can do that.

James

Um so, since I'm in sight range of Callie, yes, so since I'm in sight range of Callie yes. I, so I know that they have keys, mmm. Any suggestions, because I'm all. I'm all for it and I want to go. You just want to kill him, don't you?

Catherine

see, I'm thinking Zanros is tiny and zanros is stealthy. Can zanros get in, pickpocket the keys and then we just let those guys go on their way?

James

well, they just started their ship. My thought was they're not. They're not going anywhere say hey look, we'll take over for you.

Catherine

And yeah, I mean, then let's kill him. They feel so excited.

James

Okay, Okay so so I'll, I'll, I'll go into the full act of trying to pull Callie by a collar or collar or harness or whatever, and and she'll resist. So she'll. I have no strength trying to pull Callie by a collar or harness or whatever, and she'll resist. So she'll. I have no strength. She'll easily pull me across the floor Like I'll make a good show of it.

Andrew

Right right.

James

As they're trying. I'm like I'm gonna need you to open the door. I'll get him to go in, but he might not cooperate. And I start pulling the collar towards where the kid is.

Andrew

All right. So one of the red brands with the keys goes over, unlocks the lock, takes the chains off the door, opens the door, he starts dragging the kid out of the lock. Takes the chains off the door, opens the door, he starts dragging the kid out of the cell and getting out of the way. So he's now going to go over to the other cell. And what are you doing while he's just moving that?

James

prisoner as he's moving across the moment he opens the door, moving across, yeah, the moment he opens the door, I am telekinetically telling callie to hold me, to break free, right so when both the doors are open, and then I'll just start yelling he's loose, he's loose, he's loose, and he just goes into full anger mode towards them.

Andrew

All right, so both cells are open because the one red brand is trying to toss the kid into that cell. So now Callie has broken loose.

James

Callie will break loose. Yes, as soon as the other guy opens the other door with the kid, that's when Callie will break loose cause confusion.

Andrew

Now are you attacking? Or what's the purpose of Callie breaking loose and causing confusion, because now there's just chaos.

Zanros

Yeah.

Andrew

So the prisoners are there. The three red brands are there. They're trying to figure out what's going on. They're more concerned about trying to control his dog. So the one guy is with the prisoners. I think he's going to.

James

When he opens the door and he's taking the kid in, okay, yes, callie breaks loose, all right, and we're going to do our whole little bit that we've kid in.

James

Okay, yes, callie breaks loose, all right, and we're going to do our whole little bit that we've done in towns before. She's going to pick me up in her mouth, right, and I'm going to go get in the cage, save yourselves, and if they go out the door then you guys attack them, but if they get in the cage we just lock them up and we let the other prisoners loose.

Catherine

And then, what are we gonna do with these locked up red brands?

James

Leave them to rot? I don't know.

Zanros

In my B&B. Yeah, well, you know I already have to reimagine this room. I don't really see a reason I'm going to need a prison Wine cellar.

James

It's a wine cellar. Yeah, You've got three sommeliers. With intimate knowledge.

Zanros

I don't think these idiots know anything about wine.

Andrew

They're very familiar with the cellar itself. Yes, so, okay. So now you're trying to deceive them again. So roll a deception, roll for deception.

James

Roll a big.

Speaker 4

Uh-oh.

James

Five, five. Wait, let me roll the other one and see what it would have been on this. Now I know better.

Andrew

Oh no, so they are not convinced to run into the cell and lock themselves in it. So that plan does not work. So they. Now you're in Callie's mouth, correct, Okay?

James

Callie drops me, I hit Eldritch Blast.

Andrew

So you're going to, I'm going to attack them. Which one are you going to attack, or is's eldritch blast an area of effect?

James

uh, no, no, it's specific, it's so which?

Andrew

which one of them, which one of the three? So there's two, there's two that are in that scent, kind of right in that middle of that room, yeah yeah. And then there's one the one is on the Southern, at the Southern door, with the the kid. He just threw the kid into that cell. So you've got one at the door, one at the door of the cell.

James

The one towards the middle, the one in the cell.

Andrew

I don't want to hit the kid, so Okay, you want to hit one of the other two.

James

One. You want to hear one of the other two. One of the other two.

Andrew

Okay, okay, that an eight. So in all of the chaos, you cast Eldritch Blast because you just hit the floor. Shorty got low, low, low, low, sorry. Ickum got low, low, low, low, sorry, ickum got low, low, low, low. So in all this chaos, you hitting the floor, you cast Eldritch Blast. It kind of zaps right in between the two red brains in the room and completely, completely misses them. Okay, roll for initiative.

Fable

I'll be a four.

Andrew

Twelve, sixteen. Hang on Dal Dal Four Four Xanros Twelve Ikwin 16. Hang on Dow Dow Four Four Zanrose 12.

James

Equine 16. Right and Uh.

Andrew

Yes.

James

Should I roll for Callie or is?

Andrew

my Callie, callie will, callie will, attack on your, your initiative. Okay, all right. Now I got to roll for three red brands, all right, all right, oh so Equium, equium, the red brand one of the two red brands that you just missed is going to now come and attack you, and they are going. They're coming at you with a short sword, they're gonna take a swing.

James

I assume an eight does not hit. An eight does not hit, no, they're going to take a swing. I assume an eight does not hit. An eight does not hit.

Andrew

No, okay. So again, in all the chaos, they come at you, take a swing, completely Again. They just this Eldritch Blast came at them. They kind of ducked out of the way and just took a quick swing at you and completely, completely missed. Now, equium it is. You're up again, okay. Okay, because I? I assume that was a surprise attack, because they weren't, they weren't expecting it. So now, so now you and callie both get to attack. So now there is there's one that's a little bit closer to you because he just took the swing at you. There's one a little bit further back and there's the one at the southern cell that just threw the kid. Just threw the kid in. He's been locking up the cell, so the the prisoners are still still secured, and he's now standing in front of the gate looking at you as well.

James

I'm going to go for the one that's closest to me Eldritch Blast 14.

Andrew

14 will hit, so you definitely make contact.

James

Very ominous music Um 10. Eight points of damage eight points of damage.

Andrew

You, you, you hit him just square in the chest, knocking him back and basically knocked the wind out of him. That was a significant blow. And now Callie.

James

Callie, she is going to bite and that's a 19. And which one is she biting, I'd say the one that's by the gate.

Andrew

OK, got it. So 19 does just definitely hits.

James

Six points of damage again.

Andrew

Piercing damage.

James

Correct, it's the teeth yes, it's piercing damage and it has to no, that says if the target is a creature, it must succeed on a DC 13 strength saving throw or be moved from.

Andrew

Got it.

James

But that's a creature, not a.

Andrew

Not a human.

James

I'm assuming, not a human.

Andrew

I do not believe humans are creatures.

Speaker 4

Maybe he's a creature of habit, maybe, oh, okay.

Andrew

Sister betrayal, does he wear a habit? So anyway.

James

I don't know. He's got a cape now Like he's going to go through the whole costume thing.

Andrew

Oh my God, totally A little trunk that we have to drag around, that's right. What?

James

Kali's outfits are.

Andrew

So Kali picks up this red brand in her mouth, kind of gives him a little shake, teeth dig in into the flesh of the leg and does again, does some pretty good damage, and then kind of, as she's shaking, just drops him, drops him back in front of the, in front of the prison cell, excellent. And then comes up Zanros. So you're outside of the room, zanros. So basically, james is kind of up front, equium is up front, just hit the one guy, yep, so there's two kind of near each other, on the eastern wall, kind of on the eastern side of that room, that center room, there's the one guy now that's also been attacked. That's in front of the southern cell door. So those are the three red brands that are in there.

Catherine

All right, so I want to go for one of the guys that's up against the wall. Can I run in there Because I'd like to use my quarterst? But I gotta get closer yes, you can do that okay all right, let's roll with this guy. That's disappointing.

Andrew

So 10. 10 to hit. Yeah, you, just, you take a swing and they just at the last momenter veer back and and you, you miss them, just just missed hitting them. Is that your entire turn um? What would you? What else?

Catherine

no, I'm thinking I'd like to use my bonus action for flurry of blows.

Andrew

Let's take a look at flurry of blows. Okay, so you're going to take two unarmed strikes?

Catherine

Yep, Because I'm pissed so I throw the quarterstaff down. Okay, okay, ohaff down, okay, okay, oh, my God.

Fable

Seven.

Andrew

Your fury, the fury of blows. You're so furious that your flurry just does not connect on the first shot, 19. 19.

Catherine

You come back with the other not connect on the first shot, 19.

Andrew

19. You come back with the other hand the back slap, no, the forward slap, the forward slap. You just completely missed. But that back slap definitely connects.

Zanros

Okay.

Catherine

I got to do my damage roll right yes, how much.

Andrew

Now, which one were you going after? Are you going after the one that James just hit with Eldritch Blast?

Catherine

no one of the ones against the wall well, that's one of them. He already hit no, there's one with no damage correct him.

Andrew

Oh okay, seven, seven points of damage.

Catherine

wow Okay, seven.

Andrew

Seven points of damage. Wow, that's a hearty slap For all of the effort that you put into the quarterstaff attack and the other unarmed attack. All that energy has been building up inside of you and you just came right back and just like this red brand spun around.

Andrew

You slapped him so hard. Slap you into next week. Basically, that is basically what you have done to this red brand. Get out of my B&B next week. Basically, that is basically what you have done to this red brand. Get out of my B&B, alright. So now that this one has spun around and recovered, it is going to come right back and attack you with its short sword.

Zanros

Mm-hmm.

Andrew

Does a 13 hit? It does not. So again, still recovering from the slap that was heard around the world, tried to swing at you with a short sword. Just completely, completely biffed it and did not hit you. That's right, hang on, I gotta move some stuff around.

Catherine

Xanra's a small but mighty.

James

Yes, fury of the small.

Andrew

Alright, so now I'm just looking at my order of initiative. So All right, so now I'm just looking at my order of initiative. So now the one that Callie shook and dropped is going to come back now and try to make an attack on Callie.

James

Okay.

Andrew

And try to give some payback. Does a 12 hit, callie? It does not. Again, these guys are.

Catherine

These guys are like stormtroopers, wow.

Andrew

They are really struggling. They are really struggling. Thank God, I'm rolling this d20 because it is. May the odds be ever in your favor and they are. So that was the third guard. Now, dao, you are still out in the crypt. Would you like to join the battle?

Fable

Yes, I want to go for the one that's attempted to get Xanris next okay, alright. I'm going to do hold the dead so I can do a wisdom save.

Andrew

I'm sorry. What do a wisdom save? A wisdom save. A wisdom save. Well, considering that this red brand has a minus one for wisdom, I guess that Nat one becomes a zero man they're

Catherine

pretty dumb.

Andrew

Wow, okay, again, you know it's, it's amazing. It's amazing for how dumb they are. They still are not deceived by it, Right?

Catherine

We've all got a moment. We've all got our. We've all got a moment. We've all got a moment of clarity.

James

That's right clearly I have to take a feat in theatrics or something oh, totally alright, so they failed.

Andrew

They failed their wisdom. Save clearly oh yeah so what's happening? Four damage four damage, clearly, oh yeah. So what's happening for damage and what type of damage is that?

Fable

Product.

Catherine

Oh, that sucks.

Andrew

So this one, this one now. So took, took the the bitch slap from Xanros, spun around, swung at Xanros with his short sword and now just suddenly feels the life force being sucked right from out of him.

Fable

He's just that's what he gets.

Andrew

Yeah, really.

Catherine

Sucks to be from out of him. He's just that's what he gets. Yeah, really Sucks to be him. So there.

Zanros

Suck.

Andrew

All right. So now we are back at the top of the order, and again, this red brand isn't very smart. Should know that Kali is probably the bigger threat.

James

It's going to come after me.

Andrew

Well, let's say, I want to see who. Where is my? Here we go, I'm going to see which one of you this one is going to come after one, one, two, three, four, this one, so this is the one that Iquium hit, but just seeing that attack by Dall, it's going to go after her. Well, this D20 is not doing me any favors, dall. So let's see. Does a 10 hit? No Okay, then See these guys. Does a 10 hit? No Okay. Then see, wow, they are not doing well.

James

I'm surprised they had the key to the cell.

Andrew

Right, oh my god, it's the one cell they had and it's shared. So, equium, that's up to you now, you and Callie. Eldritch Blast and that's a 14 and which one are you going after?

James

the one that hit me initially the one that just attacked try to just attack.

Andrew

That Okay good. Um, so you definitely. This elder blast will definitely hit.

James

Okay, so that is eight points of damage.

Andrew

Equium.

James

How would you like to do this? The Eldritch Blast, hits him in the chest and it's like a streak of crackling energy hits him and it just makes his body writhe and he just slumps over. Wow, nice Excellent body writhe and he just slips out. Wow, nice, excellent. And then, uh, cali yes going to bite the guy that was by the cell that she did before.

Andrew

Right, uh, that is a 10. Callie takes a bite at this red brand, but fortunately the red brand is able to just ever so slightly get out of the way of of callie's bite. Okay, so didn't, didn't quite make it. That leads us now. That's that's.

James

That's your turn, right um, I have a question yeah and because I didn't see this before, but callie gets advantages on attack rolls if a creature, if at least one of the wolf's allies, is within five feet of the creature and the ally isn't incapacitated.

Andrew

Okay, good to know for next turn. Okay, but yes.

James

No, that's fine.

Andrew

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely that's cool.

James

I was always assuming it was, you know, wolves, but it's allies you are all.

Andrew

This is this being pride month. You are all allies excellent just had to throw that in there.

Andrew

Happy pride month, everyone. So yeah, so next turn. You can definitely do advantage on on that. So this brings us up to zanros zanros. What would you like to do? So now, okay, there is. There is the, the one red brand that attacked Dao that Equium just killed. There's the one still that you went after initially they are still standing, but barely and there's the guard in front of the gate, in front of the cell as well, that Callie just went after but did not get to.

Catherine

Okay, I'm going to go back for the guy that I backhanded, cool. Oh my god, these rolls Ten.

Andrew

Again. You Are you trying to do the quarterstaff again? Yes, okay, so you take a swing with the quarterstaff and he just kind of dips. Does that little neo move and dodges out of the way. He dodged, he dodged, he ducked, he dipped, he dived and he dodged. Did he sidestep? No sidestepping.

James

Okay, not yet Ask him for Okay, not yet. Ask him for a friend.

Andrew

Got it. Is that your turn, Zanros? So again, because you just went after this one, he's going to come right back at you. Does a 15 hit.

Catherine

My.

Andrew

AC is 15. So it does, it does connect Alright. Finally, finally, a red brand does some damage. Not a whole hell of a lot, though. Three points, three points of piercing damage.

Fable

Now that leaves so what are you at, Samuels Six?

Zanros

Are you?

Andrew

gonna do no, so that your turn was done. So what are you at Samuels Six? Are you going to do no? So your turn was done. So that was the other red brand. So now the third red brand, the one by the cell, is going to come back after Callie again and is definitely not going to hit with an eight.

Fable

So and is definitely not going to hit with an 8.

Andrew

So so that red brand misses, and that brings us up to Del. It is your turn. What would you like to do and who would you like to attack is the one that attacked Xander still alive.

Fable

Yes, I just missed him. Go for it and I'm going to do toll the dead again Is the one that attacked.

Catherine

Xander still alive. Yes, I want that one.

Speaker 4

Go for it.

Fable

And I'm going to do Toll the Dead again.

Speaker 4

So I can do another Wisdom save.

Fable

Yes, eldrick's Blast, I have Toll the Dead 18?

Andrew

Damn, that doesn't help you. Huh, is it half damage, or I?

Fable

don't. No, not it half damage or I don't no, not even half damage.

Andrew

Oh wait a second. Did you? Did you roll 1d12 last time? Yes, oh, you did, okay. Yeah, because it sucked. Yeah, okay, got it okay, so, yeah. So they succeeded on their wisdom saving throw, so no attack there. Now we're gonna go back up to the top. And because the one red brand is dead, that leaves us to Iguam and Kali once again oh, okay, so so that leaves us to Iguium and Kali once again, oh okay.

Andrew

So there's the one that Zanros and Dal have been going after, okay, and there's the one in front of the prison cell that Kali has been trying to attack.

James

I'll go after that one.

Andrew

Okay.

James

Seven.

Andrew

Not quite, not quite, not quite. So what would Callie like to do?

James

Callie would like to invoke the pack tactics this time and. I'm going to roll with advantage for you, callie, nat 20.

Andrew

Oh shit.

James

So that's a 25.

Andrew

That just hits.

James

Just hits.

Andrew

Just hits.

James

That's good to know.

Catherine

Is that red brand wrapped in metal?

Andrew

The red brand should have gotten itself At this point. He should have put himself in the cell with everyone else.

James

I tried to get them to go. I know right, that's 10 points of damage.

Catherine

James Iquium how would you like?

Andrew

to do this one Now. Callie has this red brain in her mouth.

James

I would say at a nat 20, she goes for the throat, oh, and she just shakes him like a rag doll.

Andrew

She chomps down, hits the jugular, so there's just blood spurting out as she shakes this thing back and forth in her mouth.

James

It's a guy.

Andrew

It's a rag doll. It is a rag doll to Callie. Nice Just shakes this thing to death. Just blood everywhere. It is a mess and Callie is having the time of her life. It's like yay, Exactly.

James

And we get this face, this derpy face.

Andrew

Oh, it just disappeared.

Catherine

Nom nom nom.

Andrew

Exactly Happy Callie.

James

All right is that your turn? That is my turn.

Andrew

All right, zanros, you are up. One red brand left.

Catherine

Quarterstaff. I'm going to hit somebody with my quarterstaff let's hope so they're all rolling like crap today, so I don't know which one.

Andrew

To 24 nice was it a nat 20 or?

Catherine

no, it was an 18 and I have a plus 6. Oh jeez yeah okay.

Andrew

Well, that definitely hits. You are definitely gonna whack this red brand with your quarterstaff.

Catherine

Yay, okay, so 1d6. Oh, it's just a regular die.

Speaker 4

I do that every time 1d6.

Catherine

Six.

Andrew

Zanros.

Catherine

Yes.

Andrew

How would you like to do this?

Catherine

So, I would like to take my quarterstaff.

Zanros

I'm going to start to the side so that I can do a full spin and swing right into this guy's stupid head and hit him so hard.

Andrew

So are you going to? You're going to have to. I think you're going to have to jump to.

Catherine

I can't hold it high enough. I'm like three foot five.

Andrew

I guess you could.

Catherine

The quarterstaff is long.

James

Yeah, okay.

Catherine

Yeah.

James

I mean comparably in size, or Zandrus' size compared to the quarterstaff it's more like a buck and a quarter quarterstaff.

Andrew

Right, really, it's really. Yeah, it's like a yardstick.

Catherine

Yeah, I can hold that up, Okay sure. And spin around. You're going to spin around. And whack that guy so hard in the head that his eyes roll back right before he drops dead.

Andrew

Nice yeah that his eyes roll back right before he drops dead Nice, yeah. So you just this. This your quarterstaff just hits him so square, like right in the temple. He just again. He, because you were spinning, he is now spinning. You have spun him right round, baby, right round, like a record. He spins around and just crumbles to the floor and these red brands are dispatched. Yay.

James

Congratulations, were any of them wearing the apple-b apple bottom jeans and the boots with the fur?

Andrew

Not the boots with the fur, no oh okay, I was just asking for a friend. Did you share that with everybody? What? What Aren't you the one that shared that video with me? Oh, the two jeans. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the apple bottoms. Yes, yes, that's what I thought you were referring to. I thought you were referring to the video of the apple bottom jeans, the two jeans. Who made the magic? No, you said get low, low, low, and I was just kind of like that's what made me think of that.

Andrew

They were making the magic boots with the fur.

James

Yeah, the magic boots with the fur. Yeah, oh my God.

Andrew

Wow.

James

I'll have to find that and send it to him.

Andrew

All right, so you've cleaned up, so now, what would you like to do? There are the three prisoners still in the cell.

James

Did they get the? They got the kid into the cell before this occurred.

Andrew

Yes, correct.

James

They're all just in one cell, okay, so I mean, obviously we're letting the prisoners out, yeah we're going to let the prisoners out and loot the prisoners out, and loot the red brands and see what they're yeah, all right, I'm gonna go over to the cell door.

Catherine

I'm gonna grab the keys off of one of these dead red brands. What? What, by the way, is theo pimble doing this whole time?

Andrew

he was.

Catherine

He's still out in the crypt area so you just like whittling or something twiddling his?

Andrew

thumbs, not even whittling. He's useless, no whittling.

Catherine

Or something Twiddling his thumbs, eh, not even whittling. He's useless.

Andrew

No whittling twiddling.

Catherine

He's twiddling rather than whittling.

Andrew

Twiddling rather than whittling. All right, twiddling, whittling, twiddling, whittling, twiddling, whittling. Oh boy, yes, I think he's just dawdling. Dawdling, twiddling, whittling, doodling doodling wow. Canoodling.

Catherine

Wow Wowzer In spiralizing some zoodles.

Andrew

He's zoodling Sweet, sweet, sweet Jesus, help me.

James

And in the end maybe he'd start yodeling, Maybe.

Catherine

Okay.

Andrew

Yes.

Catherine

So I'm going to grab the keys off of one of the dead red brands.

Andrew

Yes, A dead brand.

Catherine

I like that, I like that, thank you, and I'm going to open Trademark. I'm going to open the cell door, yes, and I'm going to say hello.

Andrew

I hope you're okay. Oh, my goodness, thank you for saving us. Oh, you're okay. Oh, my goodness, thank you for saving us.

Zanros

Oh, you're welcome. I hope this doesn't sour your opinion of this home, because I will be turning it into a B&B and I'd love to treat you all to a meal.

Andrew

That would be so lovely.

Zanros

In the meantime, do you think you can get yourselves out of here?

Andrew

We were blindfolded time. Do you think you can get yourselves out of here? I, I, I they. We were Blindfolded. We were, we, they, they, they dragged us in here unconscious and we, just we woke up in these cells. I don't even know where we are.

Zanros

Alright, are you okay hanging out with us for a little while then, cause we got some stuff to clear out of this place. That that's fine. You know we're just, we're just.

Andrew

Are you okay hanging out with us for a little while then, because we've got some stuff to clear out of this place. That's fine, we're just grateful to be saved.

James

Yeah, I know.

Catherine

Yeah, I don't necessarily want them to leave on their own, because I want them to be safe.

Undead Heirloom Quest Begins

James

Can we confirm, because Dal knows this, was it the?

Catherine

What do I know?

James

Woodcarver's wife and son.

Fable

Oh yeah, that's right, it was the yes.

James

Was that?

Catherine

it. It was the other lady.

Fable

One moment as I pull up my notes, which I do have. Yeah, his wife and two kids have gone missing. Only one kid.

Catherine

Well, is one of the women. His kid Like an older kid.

Speaker 4

Uh, I don't know yeah.

James

Can we ask them who they are? Yeah, yeah.

Andrew

My name is Myrna Dendrar, and these are my children Nars and Nilsa.

Catherine

Nars, like the makeup brand. Oh, nars, nars.

James

Oh Nars, mr Gnarly, nars, dude Excellent.

Andrew

The red brands murdered my husband.

Zanros

Yeah. I mean those guys suck.

Andrew

They were going to kill all of us.

Zanros

Sounds right.

Andrew

But I told them I've got very wealthy family that live in Neverwinter and they would pay them. They would pay for our safe return. So they've kept us alive While trying to Come up with a ransom plan To get money from my family.

Zanros

Wealthy family you say. Are they looking for any Investment opportunities?

Fable

Would you like to know About the Bumble Bumble B&B Wealthy family you say. Are they looking for any investment opportunities? Would you like?

James

to know about the Bumble Bumble B&B. I love the shameless marketing and you know the whole business package. Hustlers gotta hustle.

Catherine

Zeros has a singular goal, Like total respect.

James

It is that singular focus that I think is fantastic.

Catherine

She knows what she wants. She's going to get it.

Andrew

Well, I have nothing to offer you right now. I know where you might be able to find something that is quite valuable. I'm listening. Years ago, when we fled Thundertray. Obviously yes who wouldn't, yes, the undead overran Thundertray. Yes, the undead overran Thunder Tree.

Catherine

We had an urban alchemy shop there.

Andrew

As one does. Inside the shop is an emerald necklace Hidden underneath a section of the storage shelves. We never went back to get it, it was just not safe. The shop is in the southeastern part of Thundertree. If you go there and it is, if it's safe, you are more than welcome to it it's very generous of you very generous of you. I'm just grateful that you saved us.

Zanros

I just appreciate you not doing any additional damage to the property. What were we going to do? We were locked in these cells.

Andrew

You're not doing any additional damage to the property. What were we going to do? We were locked in these cells.

Zanros

You could have used the walls to like tick off the days, and then I would have had to fill all that you could have tried to tunnel to the outside.

Andrew

This is solid rock what?

Zanros

are we tunneling with? Listen, I heard a story about a guy who used a rock yes, a rock pick that he hid behind a poster to dig his way out of prison. So it's not impossible, you just need to have a little imagination and some stick-to-itiveness.

James

Do you know the Dufresnes from Neverwinter? Are you familiar with them?

Zanros

No, a guy named Red.

James

It was at that moment that Andrew knew it had all gone horribly, horribly wrong.

Speaker 4

Oh my.

Catherine

Fable definitely doesn't get the reference.

James

That's all right, I don't, you and me Dufresne, thick as thieves.

Catherine

Shawshank Redemption Freak movie, both a book and a movie. Well, a novella and a movie A novella.

Andrew

All right, so you've now rescued the three prisoners.

James

Yes.

Andrew

Which were Myrna, myrna Dendrar. Nars and Nilsa. Nars and Nilsa.

James

Nars and Nilsa. Are they of the Swedish persuasion?

Andrew

I believe they are.

James

And the fleem it goes. A fleep, a fleep, a fleep they are, and the fleeming goes a-fleepy-fleepy-fleepy.

Andrew

And so Myrna told you about the family heirloom. That is your. If you so choose to go hunting after that, it is yours. Yours for the taking, provided it's still there, who knows?

Catherine

I mean how many people has she told about it?

Andrew

Yeah, but if the undead have overrun Thundertree.

Catherine

Do you think they're like way into emerald necklaces? But you just never know, maybe when the undead is like ooh, Maybe one of the undead is wearing the necklace and I'll just rip it off his undead head.

Andrew

Maybe you will, maybe I will. Well, you wouldn't rip it off the undead head, because again, they're probably pretty tall. You could quarter staff it.

Catherine

You could knock the undead head off you think I couldn't launch myself up another undead to get to the undead's neck that's wearing the necklace? Rip the necklace off and, like, behead them at the same time.

Andrew

That would be multiple acrobatics checks.

Catherine

I'm pretty spry.

Andrew

Yeah, let's wait for that.

James

You hold that, thought I applaud that plan, but I think there's something missing.

Catherine

What.

James

Well, if there's a 12-foot tall skeletons, then you could get decor for the Bimble Bumble. It's.

Catherine

Halloween.

James

Because, those 12-foot skeletons.

Mystery Wall Discovery and Brute Force

Andrew

So, speaking of which, I was driving up in, of all places, sussex County. So just let that be what it is. I was driving down the road in Sussex County and there, on someone's front lawn, is one of these giant 12 foot tall skeletons dressed up in a swim, swim trunks, a red, white and blue shirt. It was like it was like all set for for the 4th of July or, I guess, memorial day. Maybe it was still dressed up for, but I'm like, oh my, look at that. They're just rocking out that skeleton 365.

James

There's a lady on Instagram that she bedazzled hers.

Andrew

Wow.

James

Like the little squares, so it's like a disco ball.

Andrew

Yeah.

James

Nice and she's doing the project and it's like that's impressive. It's awesome looking.

Andrew

I bet.

James

But it took thousands and thousands of these little square.

Andrew

I can imagine, I can only imagine. All right, so back to it. You cleared out these cells. What would you like to do next? So remember, back in the crypt. There is one door in the northwest, the northern wall, the western side of the northern wall, in the crypt, in the crypt that we were in previously.

James

There's no other doors or anything in this area Did we loot the red brands or we just took the keys.

Speaker 4

We haven't yet.

James

Let's loot the red brands or the dead brands.

Andrew

The dead brands.

James

Copyright Legends, loot and More.

Andrew

Copyright 2024. Legends, loot and More. There is nothing. The red brands have nothing on them of any value or of any note.

Zanros

These guys are fully useless.

Andrew

Yes, clearly you don't even want them for employees. That's how useless they are.

James

That's saying a lot, since goblins are already the employees Right.

Andrew

What's more useless than a goblin?

Catherine

Theo Pimble oh.

Andrew

Wow.

James

Does that count as dissonant whispers or vicious mockery?

Andrew

Remember this is Pride Month. We need to be inclusive of all races, creeds, colors, genders, etc.

Catherine

I don't know how I'm not being inclusive by acknowledging that Theo Pimble is a useless individual. Wow.

Andrew

Okay then.

Catherine

He wasn't even like. You know what. Look at these guys fighting. I'll help out. No, he's like I'm sitting over on the side here. I can't even be bothered to whittle, I'm just useless you. No one asked theo pimble to join in I'd like to see some initiative from the b&b employees. I'm not seeing that from theo okay, then then.

Andrew

Just saying so what would you like to do next? You can either go back down the hallway. You can go back down the hallway and face the skeletons, or you can go through that northern door.

James

I I think we go through the northern door in the crypt.

Andrew

James, just do me one favor.

James

Sorry, as I drill away.

Catherine

Oh, look over here, James, just oh look over here, james just nods off. Hey, can you?

James

hear me now. The Doppler effect is real.

Andrew

Who dressed up as the Doppler effect? Was that Dwight?

Catherine

Oh, no, that was on.

Andrew

Big Bang Theory.

James

He dressed up as the Doppler effect. I'm just going to be going back and forth with Mike looking at the map.

Andrew

Oh, you're killing me, I love it.

James

Yeah, I think we should go through that northern door. Yes, are these? Oh, oh, what Are these little protuberances that we've come across previously? Are those meant to be sconces?

Andrew

Those were the columns. Remember I mentioned there were columns.

James

Oh, there were columns, but they're like, half're like like half columns. They were faux columns, okay didn't he sing in the air tonight? Oh sorry, faux collins, faux collins yes that would be the best tribute band like cover band.

Catherine

The best tribute band like cover band Faux.

Andrew

Collins, it has to exist right Now. I think you need to have as entertainment at the Bumble Bumble B&B Faux.

James

Collins.

Andrew

Appearing nightly Faux Collins.

James

Theo Pimble as Foe Collins? Oh man, that would be great. And occasionally members of Genasi will play in. Oh yes, Genasi, Three Sides Live.

Andrew

Oh, my God, this is so good. So you're going through the northern door.

James

Going through the northern door.

Andrew

Okay, in what order? Because this is a narrow little hallway here. So In what order are you going? Who's going first? Zanros Dal.

James

Zanros and Dal, you're still. Both of you are still injured.

Catherine

Yes, yes, theo.

James

Pimble. Theo Pimble will be our meat shield. I'll go in with Callie first.

Andrew

You'll go in with Callie first, okay, yeah, so you and Callie basically take up this entire little hallway, because it's five foot wide. By about 15 foot long there's a door in kind of the northeast corner of Can I listen at the door? You'd like to listen at the door? Where are?

Catherine

we, we're in this little thing, okay.

Andrew

Well, you're still in the crypt area.

Catherine

Right, I'm just trying to figure out where we're going. Got it, thank you.

Andrew

All I can hear is Mulder I know he's purring away.

Speaker 4

Under the table. I know, mulder, where are under the table I know, Mulder, where are you?

Andrew

buddy, I don't know where you are. Hi, hi, buddy, he's purring away. Okay, so Equium give me. So you're in this hallway. Give me a perception check a Cali now that would be a 16 a 16. So, as you are listening at the door, one for one, you hear nothing. You hear nothing other than purring.

Catherine

From somewhere.

James

Is it Doppler purring? It is, I'm just asking for a friend.

Catherine

From somewhere. Is it Doppler?

Andrew

purring it is. So. Leaning up against the door, you hear nothing. However, you do hear noise coming from somewhere, but when you're listening up against the door, you hear nothing. But just standing in the hallway you hear noise coming from somewhere.

James

Can I? Can I do an investigation check to try and determine where the sound is coming from, or is that another perception check? You can do an investigation check to try and determine where the sound is coming from, or is that another perception check?

Andrew

You can do an investigation check. That'd be perfect.

James

Six, damn it.

Andrew

You can't place the direction of the sound. You distinctly hear noise, but you cannot place its origin. You are up against the door. You know it's not coming from in there, but you cannot tell from what other direction it might be coming. What would you like to do?

Zanros

Oh.

James

Can I have Callie try to perceive it? Sure Okay, have Callie do an investigation, check, perceive it.

Andrew

Sure Okay, have Cali do an investigation check.

James

Investigation check. In her case it would be sniff investigation.

Andrew

Yes, exactly.

James

That is an 11 and her passive perception is 13 so you're.

Andrew

You're up against the door leaning callie is. Callie is sniffing around Directly opposite of the door. Callie is sniffing, sniffing starts barking and is just sniffing and barking and scratching like there's something there.

James

Opposite to the door. Where Opposite to the door. Where Opposite to the door, where wall opposite of the door.

Andrew

Okay.

James

Is there anything, anything? I literally searched the door wherever she's sniffing.

Andrew

So so you notice, so. So. So in this in this hallway, you, you notice the, the bricks like the, the stonework on the wall. You, you notice, you notice there there's a change in pattern in the wall and you're able to make out a difference in pattern a little bit in that section of the wall.

James

Where the pattern is different. I want to press on the wall and see if it Gives away.

Andrew

Give me an athletics check no.

James

The best I can hope for is a nat 20, so I can get 17.

Andrew

But here goes, fingers crossed 17 minus 3, 14.

James

And you just missed. I'm ready for it, it's okay. It's a strength related thing, so it's okay it doesn't feel quite like a solid wall.

Andrew

Something doesn't feel right. Okay, you, it doesn't. It doesn't quite give you know what I mean, but it's just. It's just like it doesn't feel like a solid wall to you, Like an immovable wall, so it kind of I want to say kind of shifts just ever so slightly. So you know, something is there but you're not able to fully move it either. You've got other, stronger members of your party that yeah, so there's definitely something here.

James

It's just off and I tried to push it, it's not. Yeah, there's something up on this wall. It could be. I would encourage both of you to look and to press upon it where the pattern changes and I show them where I pressed.

Andrew

Excellent.

Catherine

Can I do an investigation check?

Andrew

You can do an investigation, check All right let's try that 19. So clearly, again you notice the same change in pattern that Iquium does Something. Just again, something just doesn't seem right. Not doesn't seem right, but seems different, Clearly, clearly, this part of the wall is different than the rest of the wall. Again, the pattern is a different pattern than the rest of the wall. So something is clearly different about this section. So something is clearly different about this section.

Catherine

It's door-shaped but you notice kind of a change in pattern. That is about the size of what would be a standard door. So do you think we have to tap it in a specific way to get it to open? Can Callie Kool-Aid man her way?

James

through the wall.

Catherine

What would you like to do?

Speaker 4

I want to go in.

James

I was going to say I could try. You're going to try brute forcing it no.

Andrew

I could try Equium. Already tried that Didn't go so well. What would you like to do, zanros? I know, no, I know, zanros.

Catherine

Can I leap into the air with my feet?

Andrew

and attempt to knock it open. Absolutely, you can absolutely try to do that.

Catherine

Okay, what kind of roll would you like me to do for that?

Andrew

I need both an acrobatics and an athletics check. Acrobatics first for the jump, the leaping like the jumping motion and then athletics to.

James

I start humming. Everybody was kung fu fighting just to give inspiration.

Catherine

It's an 11 on acrobatics.

Andrew

Okay, so you're up in the air, not as high as you wanted to go, but I'm up there. But you're up.

Catherine

Okay, and the other one was athletics.

Andrew

Yes, six. So, you go flying at the door, hit it, just dink and drop, drop down. What the hell? Fortunately Callie catches you. That was nice of you Before you hit the ground and hurt yourself.

Zanros

Shouldn't I have a master key to this place? What is wrong with this place?

James

Theo Pimble Shall I. What's up with the wall?

Zanros

Theo Pimble, you useless piece of crap. Could you make yourself useful and figure out the wall?

James

Oh, with an invitation like that, who could resist?

Andrew

Are you trying to persuade him or intimidate him?

Catherine

Persuade.

Fable

Shall I try to shoulder through this door.

Andrew

So, so so, persuade, persuade away.

Catherine

Oh, that's a nat 20. Nice Plus one, so that's a 21.

Andrew

So so again persuade, persuade Theo a nat 20. Nice Plus one, so that's a 21.

Zanros

So again persuade Theo, pinball Theo seriously, it's going to take us forever to get through here If you know, something. Could you please just tell us? You're such a piece of crap.

Andrew

He pays no mind to your minor insult.

Catherine

I mean, that was off to the side. He wasn't supposed to hear. That, exactly, was off to the side.

Andrew

He wasn't supposed to hear that Exactly. He didn't hear you.

Fable

He wasn't supposed to hear that why.

Andrew

He didn't hear the insult part.

Catherine

No, during the persuasion. At the end I called him a useless piece of crap, but I did it real low under my voice.

Andrew

That's right. So he did not hear that Right Because he's got a hearing problem. What Exactly so? Theo says there are all sorts of hidden passages and secret halls down here that they put into place. He's like I'm not usually privy to where they are, but it shouldn't be that difficult to have you tried just pushing it open.

Catherine

Dal, do you want to try to just push it open? Sure, okay, do I got?

Andrew

to do anything for that. Give me an athletics track.

Fable

An athletics. Oh, check Athletics, I fucking got it. I got a two, I rolled a nat one Plus one. It's going very well.

Andrew

So you rolled a nat one. So what happens to Dal is Dal pushes and pushes and pushes up against this section of the wall. There's some dust and debris on the floor. Dal's not able to get a good, steady footing with her feet kind of slips and just falls to her knees and is not able to get the door open. Oh man.

Zanros

Any other ideas Theo?

Andrew

Well, I guess, I mean I could try to give it a shot.

James

Yes, Equium, Just out of curiosity. I want to open the opposite. I want to open the actual other door.

Andrew

Okay, it's locked, it's locked.

James

It's locked 's locked it's locked can anybody pick locks?

Catherine

I don't think I can.

James

I don't think I can. We have the keys from the the cells? Do they fit in the door?

Andrew

Give me an investigation check on the keys 14. So there's a few keys on there so they look like they might fit. So you can certainly give it a try.

Speaker 4

Okay, and so you can certainly give it a try Okay, so you're going to try the.

James

Yeah, I'll just go through them one by one.

Andrew

So you fiddle with the keys. A couple of the keys just don't even fit in the lock. One of them finally fits in, you turn it. Doesn't quite move it. Try another key. That one finally fits, you turn it and it does unlock this door. Would you like to open the door or what would you like to do?

James

So now that the door's unlocked, yes, can I turn around to the other wall where the? I just want to know if that door is unlocked or open, if I can go through the wall.

Andrew

And give it another athletics check.

James

Sure Okay, because, why not? Because it can only. The worst that it can mean is comedy 15. 12.

Andrew

Again you've got difficulty. It feels like something should happen, but nothing is quite happening. Anyone, hi, hi, you doing anything?

Catherine

Nope, I've tried threatening Theo Pimble. I've jumped at the door. What?

Fable

else would you like to do? I could try the door again.

Andrew

Try the door again, give it another.

Fable

The wolf pack was wishing me a happy Pride month, so I had to respond.

Andrew

Very nice.

Fable

It's funny because the only one that's not gay is Gia. She's working double time this month.

Catherine

What if we what?

Andrew

the fuck What'd? You get An eight.

Catherine

No, what if we all try pushing it at the same time?

Fable

Combine our rolls.

Andrew

So do that. So all of you roll an athletics check and let's just combine the rolls.

Fable

Oh, of course, I get a 20 this time I got a 20.

James

Oh my god 17 minus three, I got 14. Oh my God, 17 minus three, I got 14.

Andrew

Okay so you all, you all, you all push on the door together and it just flies. It just flies right, right open.

Catherine

Teamwork makes the dream work. Look at that.

Andrew

So which, which direction would you like to go? So you now have an unlocked door to your clowns. To the left, you jokers. To the right again. You got the unlocked door to the right. You got this secret hall passage entry to the left. Which way would you like to go?

James

Well, I'm dying to see what was behind the locked door. Yeah, me too.

Catherine

You spent a lot of time on that door.

Andrew

I want to know the locked door or the secret door, the secret door you want to go through.

James

Iquia wants to go through the locked door. I want to go through the locked door because, admittedly, I'm looking at the map and it looks like a small room.

Catherine

Don't split the party because I'm like I'm going through the secret door.

Andrew

It's up to you. Which way would you like to go door?

Fable

It's up to you. Which way would you like to go?

James

I'm going with bumble bumble. I mean, this was a locked door. That's what I'm saying.

Catherine

Right right, there's very little behind it.

James

Maybe there's something in there that would help us.

Catherine

Alright, I mean, it's not like the secret door is going to close now that we've gotten it open, or is it?

Speaker 4

I don't know.

Catherine

Look at his secret door is going to close now that we've gotten it open or is it?

Speaker 4

I don't know.

James

Look at his face. Look at his face. It won't close. He wants it to.

Catherine

He does, Don't give me ideas. He's like you go through the locked door and the secret door closes.

James

That's why I opened the locked door, because I thought, oh, maybe it has something to do with it.

Andrew

Okay, so you're all going to go through the locked door? Sure, so you walk into this room. What appears to be an armory. Racks of weapons line the walls of this chamber, including spears, swords, crossbows and bolts. A dozen dirty red cloaks hang from hooks by the door. A dozen dirty red cloaks hang from hooks by the door, clearly. So give me a perception. Check someone, or all of you. I think my perception's like a five.

Fable

Yeah, I'll do it 21.

James

It's not me.

Catherine

Not you 17.

Andrew

21. It's not me, not you 17. Okay, so, unbeknownst to Zanros, but knownst to the rest of you.

Speaker 4

Knownst, knownst.

Andrew

Love it. So clearly the red brands are planning something, because they're amassing quite a cache of weapons here, because they're amassing quite a cache of weapons here. So you know they've got bigger plans than what's already been going on.

Catherine

What kind of weapons Anything we want to take.

Andrew

Sure, so the racks hold. So you kind of take an inventory visually. The racks hold 12 spears, 6 short swords, 4 long swords, 6 light crossbows and 8 quivers holding 20 crossbow bolts each.

Speaker 4

Wait.

Andrew

What's that? I missed some of that, that's all right. 12 spears, 6 short swords, 4 long swords, 6 light crossbows and 8 quivers holding 20 crossbow bolts each. Now you notice some of the weapons are not just common weapons. They're especially well made. There is a short sword whose pommel and guard are set with semi-precious stones and two matched crossbows whose woodwork is inlaid with silver. You're able to determine that if you sold those, they would be worth more than your standard weapon.

Fable

Or it could be girl bosses who have matching crossbows as we slay our enemies.

Catherine

Definitely do that, could do that.

Fable

Probably not financially wise, but fun nonetheless, like most things.

Speaker 4

Mm-hmm.

James

So it's one of the short swords. That's a jewel.

Andrew

One of the short swords and two of the crossbows are matched. There's a matched set of crossbows who have the inlaid silver in the woodwork. What Cool, yes. What cool, yes. What would you like to do? Snag them okay, who's who is snagging what?

Catherine

so here's what I would suggest what would you suggest? You guys take whatever it is you want. Whatever's left, I'm gonna sell For the B&B Okay.

Andrew

What you could do is you could set up a good game of Of lawn darts with those crossbow bolts.

Zanros

Excellent, you could have some fun activities. Set up a good game of lawn darts with those crossbow bolts.

Andrew

Excellent, you could have some fun activities for the visitors of the B&B. You could do like LARPing. You could host LARPs on the weekends.

Catherine

Who doesn't want to host LARPs?

James

DAL is proficient with a crossbow, so maybe they should. Yeah, if you two want to take the crossbows, then I'll take the short sword, because I can use a short sword I can't use.

Catherine

A long sword would be too heavy for you, right oh?

James

thanks.

Catherine

Strength yeah, just stating facts excellent, okay, so.

Andrew

So equium is going to keep the bejeweled short sword and dal and zanros are going to take the matching crossbows.

James

Yeah, and I definitely think you guys should take all the arrows.

Catherine

Yeah, absolutely.

Andrew

Yeah Well, there are eight quivers, so I don't know how many quivers you want to try to carry at once, but each one's got 20 crossbow bolts in it, so that's a pretty hefty amount for one quiver. You can always come back and get more if you run out while you're down here.

Fable

Because it is going to be the B&B.

Andrew

Right.

Fable

It's not like they're going anywhere About one for now.

Catherine

Is this a heavy or a light crossbow?

Andrew

It's a light crossbow.

Fable

Is it any special one or just normal light crossbow? Just a normal light crossbow. Is it any special one or just normal?

Andrew

light crossbow. Just a normal light crossbow, okay, just prettier than most. It's decorative.

James

Can I do an arcana check on this short sword?

Andrew

Yes, you may 13 it's a really pretty looking short sword.

James

Yes, it's shimmery it's shimmery yes shimmery, a twilight vampire, or just like you know, Shimmery like Edward in the sun of the Pacific Northwest.

Andrew

What was that, Zanros?

James

Nothing. I'm going to be really honest Nothing I'm going to be really honest. It's probably going to. People are going to write in about me hating Twilight vampires, but anyway, I said what I said.

Andrew

I think most people in here are Team Jacob. There you go, wolfpack.

James

Wolfpack, wolfpack, I have a dire wolf.

Andrew

Exactly, so clearly we know where this party stands.

Catherine

It's really funny because everybody hates Jacob and I'm like eh. They're both really problematic, yeah.

Andrew

Yeah, they are.

Catherine

Jacob imprints on a baby. Yeah, gross.

Fable

Fucking weird. Yeah, gross Fucking weird.

Andrew

Yeah.

Catherine

You said it. I mean I can use one of my healing potions right, you've got many healing potions as well, but yes, Do we want to waste one?

Fable

if I could just heal both of us right now.

Catherine

I mean, if you can do it sure.

Fable

I can. All right, it's 1d8 plus 6,. So Ooh can, all right it's 1d8 plus 6, so Ooh.

Catherine

So should we be back to full health?

Andrew

What is that? Spare the dying? No.

Fable

Why would I? You can only do that if you're.

Catherine

I'm not dying.

Andrew

Yeah.

Fable

Picture of health.

Andrew

Which spell are you casting?

Fable

Cure wounds. How many spell slots have you already used? This would only be my first one, because I've been using cantrips.

Andrew

Okay, so you're going to use Cure Wounds twice. That uses up two of your three spell slots.

Fable

I can oh shit.

Catherine

I can just use my healing potion. I have multiples.

Character Equipment and Hit Points Update

Fable

If I did Bless I could get both of us. But what does a healing potion get you.

Andrew

It's 1d4 plus. Look it up, don't you have it in your inventory?

Catherine

Yeah.

Andrew

I do. I don't recall the it's 1d4 plus 2?.

Catherine

So 2d4 plus 2.

Andrew

Are these potions of greater healing or just potions of healing?

Catherine

Potion of healing Okay.

Andrew

Yeah, 2d4 plus 2. Yeah.

James

Okay, okay, potion of healing. Okay, yeah, 2d4 plus 2. Yeah, five, six, seven. Okay, I'm back to full strength, nice. So the other thing and I forgot to mention this one we started because I know that previously, I, because I have the invocation and I cashed mage armor on both myself and Zanros, because you don't wear armor right? No, so yeah.

Catherine

Don't you badass for armor.

James

Well, it becomes your base. Ac becomes 13, plus your dexterity modifier, which I know is really high.

Catherine

No, my dexterity is only like oh, it's plus four.

Andrew

Plus four yeah.

Catherine

Acrobatics is plus six though, so, like you know, but, what I prefer, that I prefer the plus six is all I'm saying.

James

No, but this doesn't, this doesn't take away from here.

Catherine

No, I know saying no, but this doesn't, this doesn't take away from your no, I know no, yeah, I'm just saying I would prefer everything to be plus six. Well, who wouldn't? Who I know? But like, why are you looking so confused?

Andrew

I'm like what does the plus six have to do with anything with your ac?

James

like, okay then I know right, this is, this is yeah, so as far as anything being plus whatever, I'm just saying I think the ultimate quest item for Equium would be a belt of Storm, giant strength.

Andrew

Anyway, got it. Well, don't forget, you have those items. Which items?

Catherine

I have the Cape of Enlargement.

Andrew

You've got the staff. I have the staff. Yeah, You've got the staff.

Fable

I fell, but it's the Lightbringer. It's a mace.

Andrew

Nice.

Catherine

And you've got Staff of.

Andrew

Defense.

Catherine

Yes.

Andrew

Yes, so you're healed. Have you updated your hit points? Yes, yes, all right, so you're healed. Have you updated your hit points? Yes, excellent, excellent, everybody good, dal. Did you update your hit points, dal? I did not. What. I did not, okay, we'll see how it goes. You're just going to wing it, okay. Yeah, we'll see how it goes. You're just gonna wing it, okay, so, so are you going through the secret door now? Secret door, secret door and now again in what order are you going through this door secret?

Fable

door. In what order are you going through this door? Secret door.

Catherine

Do we send Callie through first? Yeah, okay, callie, I'll go right behind Callie. Then Theo Pimble, human shield.

Fable

Callie roll percentage die oh no last, because I'm the tallest, and yet also, you'll be ahead of the prisoners right, because they're following us around the prisoners are following you makeup, boy and makeup

Catherine

boy makeup, brand makeup. I get my eyeliner from the dollar tree NARS.

Speaker 4

NARS is a makeup brand, I don't know makeup yes, I get my eyeliner from the Dollar Tree. 54.

Andrew

Uh oh, rip Callie.

Fable

You can't be serious.

Catherine

Can we save Callie? How do we save Callie? Look at James' face, you dick.

Andrew

I'm so fucking with you.

Fable

I know right.

James

I'm now going to Eldritch Blast everything. No.

Catherine

Zandros puts on the cape of enlargement.

James

You can call me Baba Yaga. Okay, baba Yaga.

Andrew

Okay.

Catherine

Baba Yaga comes at night.

Andrew

So you all enter this room, this just appears to be a, this just appears to be a, this just appears to be a storeroom. So there's just a lot of the stuff that you assume that the red brands have been stealing and taking, and this is kind of where they store all this. This area is the north end of a large natural cavern, but this part of it has been finished with stone block walls and a flagstone floor. There's several barrels up against the walls, some empty crates, straw for packing hammers, pry bars, nails, so it's kind of like a UPS store, an old-timey UPS store. The cavern continues for some distance to the south. You can make out several passages that open off of the larger cavern and what looks like a deep pit or crevasse in the floor. What would you like to do?

James

Can we search the crates and stuff? You, we search the crates and stuff.

Andrew

You may search the crates and stuff. Give me an investigation check.

James

Certainly.

Andrew

Does anybody else want to?

James

do an investigation.

Andrew

Obviously we're nosy Okay.

Catherine

It's my B&B, that's a 12. Oh 15. Four what are my rules today? Mine?

Fable

suck.

Andrew

So most of the stuff here is not very it's a very little value. However, there is a pile of beaver pelts that are worth about two gold pieces each. How?

James

many beaver pelts are there. So I know that you said like old-timey general store. But this is not a Bucky's by any chance, is it?

Andrew

It's not Okay. Nor is it a Cracker Barrel. There's a gift shop. There's a gift shop while you wait to eat.

Catherine

Did they skin the former?

Fable

proprietors oh my god, how many beaver pelts say they're worth.

Andrew

I would say there's probably about 40.

Speaker 4

Wow Okay.

Andrew

Beaver pelts. It's a lot of beaver.

James

That's a lot of beaver, that's a lot.

Andrew

There's a lot. You walk in here and you go. It smells like beaver. Oh my God, sorry.

Speaker 4

Instead of singing the song, I'm cracking myself up.

James

Instead of?

Catherine

Are you 48 or four?

James

Yes, so I'm 12.

Andrew

Yeah, are you 48 or four? Yes, I'm 12.

Catherine

Yeah.

James

Well, we could start singing the song you Give Me Fever, except replace it with it Smells Like Beaver. Oh, no Beaver In the morning, oh, my God, beaver in the afternoon.

Andrew

Oh my, I found some beaver. Wow.

James

We were both Wow you and I are both like nine-year-olds, with the enthusiasm of a nine-year-old that's been given $100 to go into a 7-Eleven.

Andrew

Right, oh my God. Snacks on a road trip, oh my God. Or like two adults, let loose and packed, unplugged.

James

Exactly.

Andrew

It's the same Same thing.

James

Same, absolutely the same, as Catherine's ready to hit her head against the mic.

Andrew

Catherine's like please, no, this is my life.

James

It's like what have we done? We invited James here.

Andrew

So what would you like to do? Does somebody want to take the beaver pelts?

Catherine

That's a lot of beaver pelts to carry.

Andrew

You know you could use those beaver pelts for the B&B.

Catherine

That's true.

Fable

We should just leave them in here for later B&B use, though it can get you 80 gold If I need it, yeah.

Catherine

But I'd have to spend how much on blankets, rugs things I could use beaver pelts for. Right.

James

What.

Andrew

It's not that big enough for a blanket, the Bumble, bumble, bee and Beaver.

Catherine

They are.

Andrew

She didn't hear that one. I heard it the Bembo, bombo Bee and Beaver.

Catherine

Am I supposed to dignify that with a response?

Andrew

Yes, you're supposed to find that very funny.

Speaker 4

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha ha. Thank you, I'll take a pity laugh.

Andrew

I will take a pity laugh. What, thank you. I'll take a pity laugh. I will take a pity laugh. What would you like to do? So there's not much in this area. Again, it's finished. It's a storage kind of shipping prep area.

Catherine

In the immortal words of Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear. I think we should be moving right along Footloose andzie Bear. Yes, I think we should be moving right along Footloose and fancy free.

Andrew

Yes, it's not easy being green, no, so you want to head south?

James

Yes.

Andrew

Into the crevasse. Into the crevasse.

James

Yeah.

Catherine

I was going to say this looks dangerous. Into the crevasse, Into the crevasse. Yeah, I was going to say this looks dangerous.

James

I, yeah, I think we should go, because we're not. Yeah, let's go south. And is that like a little rope bridge that we see?

Andrew

So I will tell you that. So there's, as you walk into this area, you feel a cold breeze softly blowing through the natural cavern, carrying the faint scent of decaying flesh. What?

Zanros

the hell am I going to do with this?

Andrew

A crevasse with sloped walls divides the cavern and is flanked by two rough stone columns that support the 20 foot high ceiling.

Zanros

Do we make this into a swimming pool? What the hell am I gonna?

Andrew

do Two arched wooden bridges span the chasm?

Fable

Mineral water sauna, there we go.

Catherine

Right, it's a natural.

Fable

A natural spring.

Catherine

There we go.

James

Let's move.

Andrew

So yes, so yes. What would you like to do?

James

Other than those features you've described, it's essentially an empty room.

Andrew

There's no one or nothing else in here that we can see.

Fable

Nothing or no one that you can see. It's been all through here, correct?

James

This part.

Fable

Yeah.

Andrew

We could. So where do you want to go in this? So you're at the northern end of this area.

James

Let's go see what that. Let's go across the first bridge To the west, going from east to west.

Andrew

Before you get to the bridge, James, roll me a perception check 11.

Catherine

Oh, dude, that's creepy oh dude, that's creepy Okay.

Andrew

You're the only person that can hear this.

Fable

I don't know, I think I'm hearing it.

Andrew

You're not hearing it.

Catherine

I'm glad I'm not hearing it, because that's scary as hell.

Andrew

You feel as though something is trying to communicate with you. You feel something in your head, but you can't quite place what it is.

Speaker 4

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

James

I is what I'm hearing is their discernible language. Are they just?

Andrew

What languages do you speak?

Andrew

common and dwarvish, and my pact is with the great old one you can't, you can't quite make out words or feelings, but it doesn't. It doesn't feel aggressive. Okay, it's more, it's more questioning it's. You don't. You don't feel anything aggressive about this. You feel, you feel like it's just kind of like in your head, but you don't, you don't feel it's not threatening to you. You can't understand what's what's being said or what's what's going on, but it's not, it's not threatening to you, so it's not threatening, okay, but I know for sure that I'm only hearing it in my head.

James

I don't know if they're Well. I asked them if they hear anything.

Zanros

Huh, nope, why are you hearing things?

Fable

Maybe Natural gas leak in here.

Zanros

Ah shit, how much is that gonna cost oh.

Speaker 4

I Hmm.

Andrew

So so clearly they don't.

Catherine

Zanros and Dal don't hear. This Does.

James

Theo Pimble hear it. I'll ask Theo Pimble what he knows. He hears voices or has heard voices in this room.

Andrew

I've never been in this room this part before. I've never heard voices. Are you hearing it in your head? Where are you hearing these voices?

James

I'm just asking if you've ever heard voices in this room never.

Andrew

I've never heard voices in this room because you've never been in this room. I've never heard voices anywhere. No, I've not been in this room, but I've never heard voices anywhere in this other than fellow red brands or prisoners. I haven't heard anything kind of out of the ordinary.

James

We heard this just as we came.

Speaker 4

Just as we came in the room.

James

The Doppler effect is real Equium, equium. Yeah, some more Equium.

Speaker 4

Equium, equium, equium.

Andrew

Just as you enter this area is when you first Okay.

Zanros

Don't forget to drink your oval tea.

Andrew

An advertisement. Oh fudge.

James

Okay, so, and now a word from our sponsor, true Crime. Stories of the Rift.

Andrew

And just as quickly as it came, you stop hearing it. Okay, what would you like to do?

James

I'm going to go across that bridge. I'm going to go across the bridge the northern bridge. Correct the northern bridge. Yes, Okay.

Zanros

Do you think I could make more? Money if I market this as a haunted B&B. People love to stay in haunted places.

Fable

I've heard a Cyrus Zack vegan. Would you?

James

So I see this passage to the north.

Andrew

Yes, you see that passage.

James

I want to go in there. I'm la, la, la, la, la. Now are we going to take, now Are we going to take Myrna and Nils and Nars with us this whole?

Catherine

time, mm-hmm. Well, we can't let them leave, and I don't think it's safe to just leave them sitting somewhere.

James

Right, because they'd be discovered. Yeah, so they're going to live. We could hide them in the cistern Mm-hmm. Give them little hollow reeds.

Andrew

Yep totally.

Catherine

Redburns are pretty stupid. They probably wouldn't notice.

Zanros

Put a cape on them, oh yeah.

James

No, I got it.

Catherine

Okay.

James

We make big sign boards Opening soon, bimble bomble, b&b and they can have arrows and they can flip the arrow Sign spinners.

Andrew

Absolutely yes. You have them throughout town all pointing up toward Trescender Manor. That's what they'll do. I think that's a fantastic idea, yeah.

Catherine

As we're taking them with us.

Andrew

Marketing. I think that's a fantastic idea, as we're taking them with us Marketing. So you want to go through that passageway in the northwest. Okay, is everybody going with?

Catherine

Yes.

Andrew

Okay.

Catherine

We're not going to split the party. Always a bad idea to split the party yeah, so is that.

James

Is that a staircase up or down? That I see it looks?

Andrew

down, it's not down so, yes, there's a set of stairs descending down. Looks down, is that down? So, yes, there's a set of stairs descending down into a small hallway. There is a door to the north and a door to the south.

Fable

Should we just get this one out of the way first?

James

Yeah, let's go to the door to the north.

Andrew

Just keep going after it. You're going to the north, you're going to the north, so you're just opening the door and going in.

James

I'll listen at the door.

Andrew

You'll listen at the door, so give me a perception check 16. You hear faint bubbling and dripping sounds through the door.

Catherine

Is that all we hear?

James

Is the door. I tried the door handle, is it.

Andrew

It's unlocked. It's unlocked.

James

Um, I'll proceed very slowly through the door.

Andrew

The room appears to be a wizard's workshop. A large work table is set up with all sorts of devices for making chemicals and other things, all of them stewing and bubbling away. Bookshelves are crowded with sheaves of parchment and strange-looking tomes.

James

I okay, so I okay, so other than the scripture of context, there's no, there's no one we can see here correct. I am going to do. I'm going to investigate and see what I can find. Oh, so 13.

Andrew

13. 13. So you look at all the books and the notes and everything. They're basic texts on alchemy. Do an arcana check.

James

Six Six.

Andrew

So you can tell whoever is doing this. Is brewing up something is brewing up something, but you cannot determine what it is. They're trying to kind of brew up here in this process.

Speaker 4

Okay.

Andrew

What languages do you speak again?

James

Common and Dwarvish.

Andrew

Okay, so you recognize that there's a book written in Dwarvish Okay.

Zanros

So you recognize that there's a book written in.

Andrew

Dwarvish. Oh, it's the Journal of an Adventurer named Irman. It describes the history of the Lost Mine of Phandelver and the Forge of Spells.

James

Forge of Spells. The Forge of Spells is it like a leather bound cover or is it an?

Andrew

illustrated cover. It is leather bound. It is very utilitarian. It's just a just a journal. Um, as you're reading it some of some of things it talks about. More than 500 years ago, clans of dwarves and gnomes made an agreement known as the Phandelver Pact, by which they would share a rich mine in a wondrous cavern known as Wave Echo Cave. In addition to its mineral wealth, the mine contained great magical power. Human spellcasters allied themselves with dwarves and gnomes to channel and bind that energy into a great forge called the Forge of Spells, where magic items could be crafted.

Fable

What did I say about Mineral Spring?

Andrew

Times were good and the nearby town of Phandalin prospered as well. But disaster struck when bandits swept through the north and laid waste to all in their path. A powerful bandit force, reinforced by evil mercenary wizards, attacked the wave echo cave to seize its riches and magic treasures. Human wizards fought alongside their dwarf and gnome allies to defend the forge of spells, and the ensuing spell battle destroyed much of the cavern. Few survived the cave-ins and tremors, and knowledge of the location of Wave Echo Cave was lost.

Catherine

Uh-oh.

Andrew

Forever Forever Forever Ever.

Catherine

Anybody hear that. No, and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever, and ever and ever.

Andrew

And ever and ever, perhaps. Question mark.

Zanros

Or was?

Andrew

it, or was it, or was it. So that is what you learned by, that is the knowledge that you gained by reading the journal.

Speaker 4

Hmm.

James

I will communicate it to Zanros. Sure, yeah, so this is a place that we can forge stuff. It's the forge of spells and it was created. Gnomes and dwarves came down here, found wave Echo Cave, and the location of it has been lost, but it contains a thing called spells. So what about what else can I find in here as far as materials or, you know, parchment for spells, ink, stuff like that?

Andrew

Certainly so. Most of the materials in this room have have little to no value. You do discover three bottles that you recognize. What, what the contents are of those bottles? One contains mercury, One contains dragon bile and one contains powdered nightshade. The value of these are worth 25 gold pieces each to an apothecary or alchemist.

Catherine

Yes.

Andrew

Zanros, I have nothing to say, but you're laughing.

Catherine

I am.

Andrew

About what? None of your business. None of, I'm sorry. What are you laughing about?

Catherine

I'm just watching a woman being attacked by a goose.

Fable

Is it the one? I think it is.

Catherine

The one where she gets in the car and it follows her in Wow, what Okay.

Andrew

Pause in action.

Catherine

Okay, so this guy has pulled up. Oh, I've seen this being attacked by the goose.

James

Yeah, A goose is just a world-ending event waiting to happen. Okay, this is weird. Oh, my God, it's in the car.

Fable

Oh shit, that's funny.

Catherine

Yeah, okay, you want to see this one. Have you seen this one? I think?

Andrew

I'm sure I've seen this. Yes, I've seen this Very funny.

Catherine

When it gets in the car?

Andrew

Yes, oh yeah.

James

So I don't know. I probably sent you some now and again. I think Andrew knows that I'm always the you know on forums and stuff people go. Well, you know, I need a good you know.

Catherine

I need a good you know.

James

I need a good monster to send out after my party and I'm like, make it a goose A goose and give it the stats of a Tarrasque and have it follow the party forever.

Catherine

Well, you know, Andrew had an unfortunate run-in with a goose as a child.

Andrew

In Van Zandt Park. I was attacked. I was attacked by a goose In Van Zandt Park.

Catherine

I am positive I was attacked by a goose In Van Zandt Park. I am positive, you provoked the goose.

Andrew

How could I, as a child, provoke a goose?

Catherine

I can think of many ways you could provoke a goose. Were you chasing the goose?

Andrew

No, Did you throw something at the?

Catherine

goose. Did you look at the goose wrong?

Andrew

I was jumped, I was minding my own business.

Catherine

As you are so wont to do.

Andrew

As I always.

Catherine

I think of Andrew, I think minding my own.

Fable

What was that picture last night Looking out the window?

Catherine

Oh yeah, Looking out the window at the cops. I sent Fable a picture of you on the sofa staring out the window at the police activity outside.

James

What was the police activity?

Catherine

Oh my god, it was good.

Zanros

So I come down the stairs.

James

So can you blame him? It was good, oh no it was great.

Catherine

I come down the stairs, I look out the little window in the door. I see no fewer than six cars parked on the street, all with their lights on.

Andrew

I'm like what's going on? This is weird.

Catherine

Then I see cops like on either side of the car, in the front, then there's no one in the car, but the cops are searching the car and I'm like this is so fun. Then rachel comes home from across the street and says one of our neighbors, and then the truck was towed. So oh my Mm-hmm. It went on for a long time too.

Fable

And I missed all of it. Yeah, I know I'm so annoyed. All right, sorry, one time I leave the house.

Catherine

Tangent, so I've shown you Okay, so we could sell some stuff to the apothecary.

James

Yes, james, I just want to make sure that like now that I know that you were attacked by a goose, you've either got to think that I'm just the biggest asshole for sending you all these goose things Because it's to me, it's a running, it's a running bit that.

Andrew

I think it's hysterical.

James

Like I have been. I was by Ringwood Manor and there was a whole flock of geese and they were walking across the road and I had a big truck horn in my truck at that time and I hit the horn and three geese just went like this they spread their wings as wide as possible to cover the flock and they all honked at me and I'm like, oh, I'm just going to sit here until they're done, because that is absolutely aggressive.

James

They heard about you yeah, plus, I have a theory that canadian geese, or better known as cobra, death chickens, um contain all the negativity of canadians. That's why canadians are so nice, because they infuse their geese with all their negative emotions and then they send them to america. You know? Send them out yes, spread their evil yes it's a good theory.

Fable

I'd subscribe.

James

I subscribed to that and I mean look, the motto of canadians has always been it's only a war crime the second time around. So there's a certain duality of that you know like you know, indeed, the sweet love of maple syrup versus death chickens. You know, cobra death chickens willing to commit war crimes. So there you go. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. And Skether just shakes her head.

Andrew

All right, are we ready to continue? Yes, okay, so that's everything that you can see in here in this room the journal Yep and the three bottles of of items. So what you notice in this room. Again, that that's everything in this room. There's the door that you came through and there's a door on the eastern wall to the right.

Catherine

We're starting to run out of places to go and so far we've only run into three red brands, which means I feel like we're coming up for a big battle.

James

See, I mean, I guess the question that I'm asking is that we ran into how many in the cistern. It was like two or three there.

Andrew

There was about, there was about three in the in that room, room behind the cistern.

James

Yeah.

Andrew

You ran into the, the skeletons.

Catherine

Oh, I forgot about the skeleton.

Andrew

The skeletons in the crypt. Right there's the three red brands in the in the in the jail in the in the jail, in the jail, the holding cells um and then and that's the three the three that we killed in the sleeping giant, or the right, right, right, right, unruly orc. Yes, yeah, the surly orc the surly orc yes, I just feel like.

Catherine

I just feel like the farther into this we get, the more dangerous it's about to get um okay. So farther into this we get, the more dangerous it's about to get Um okay, so we've got a door, we can either basically, yeah, you're like you're talking. Oh sorry, I well I'm looking at the map, yeah, so, uh, we can go out the way we came, or we can go through this other little door. So there's a door to the east and then there's the door we came through.

James

Let's go to the door, to the east.

Catherine

Okay, should we listen at it before we try to open it?

James

Yeah, does anybody have a better investigation than I do? I think mine's a plus one.

Fable

Yeah, same.

Catherine

Uh, yeah's a plus one, yeah, same. Uh, yeah, just a plus one. Yeah, let's listen at the door. I mean we could all roll Four and that's why.

Speaker 4

Twenty, seventeen, I'm sorry, twenty 17.

Andrew

I'm sorry 20. Okay, okay. You're listening up against the door, mm-hmm, and you really don't hear anything going on inside.

Catherine

Okay, should I try the door handle?

Zanros

Yeah.

Catherine

Alright, try the door handle.

Andrew

The door opens. Sitting at the desk in this room, you see, is a short, dark-bearded human man in robes studying a tome. He wears a princely mantle and his boots, gloves and robes are trimmed in fur. He's got the boots with the fur he's got the boots with the fur, the boots with the fur, with the fur.

Catherine

Is he wearing Apple bottom jeans?

Andrew

Give me an investigation check.

Catherine

Certainly.

James

Yeah, I'll investigate, okay.

Catherine

Oh no, mine's lame Three What'd you say a 16?, 16. James got a 16. Is lame Three? What did you say? A 16? James?

Andrew

got a 16. You notice, kind of right on the waistband of his pants there's a little leather patch and it says AB on it. Nice, nice, alright.

Catherine

Well, I went in first. Right, or I'm going in first.

Andrew

Nice.

Catherine

Nice All right. Well, I went in first right, or I'm going in first.

Zanros

Excuse me? Who's there? Who the hell are you? I'm Zanros Bumble Bumble. This is my family's home. What are you doing? You a squatter?

Andrew

Allow me to introduce myself.

Zanros

Pretty sure that's what I asked.

Andrew

I am the one known as Glass Staff.

Zanros

Oh, Jesus Christ Cool.

Andrew

Your reputation precedes you. What, what are?

Zanros

you doing here in my hideout, your hideout. This is my house, the Zandros Bumble Bumble B&B. The Bumble Bumble family has owned this home forever. I don't know why you think that you have any claim to it but get the hell out before I get madder.

Andrew

He's narrowing his eyes. Are you trying to intimidate?

Speaker 4

I mean.

Zanros

No, I'm saying get the hell out. You can take that However you want.

Andrew

He just stands there and stares at you.

Catherine

Okay. Well Then I'm gonna take out my quarterstaff Now. I'm trying to intimidate him.

Andrew

So roll for intimidation.

Speaker 4

Ah, oh no.

Catherine

Four.

Andrew

Oh, little one what did you call me? You're the little one. Oh my God.

Catherine

Can I whistle for Callie?

James

I sent Callie in. I'm like this is not going to go well.

Andrew

What is Callie doing? Is Callie intimidating, attacking what is Callie doing? Is Callie intimidating, attacking what is Callie doing?

James

I would say Intimidating, I would say she goes to knock him down. Intimidating, I would say she goes to knock him down. So technically I guess that's an attack. But she's yeah, I would say. She goes in the room and she's approaching him very closely and breathing heavily on him, like baring her teeth. That's what I would say.

Andrew

So you want to try to intimidate Glass? That's a roll for intimidation 18.

Fable

Who won at Glass Staff Dad Uh, the mining lady.

Catherine

Uh, was that Lion Shield Coster or I don't know?

James

Uh, if it was the lady, I'd be less likely to want to hurt him.

Fable

I believe it was the lady.

Catherine

No, it was that woman. What's her face? She wanted us to kill Glass.

Fable

Doctor.

Speaker 4

The lady at the mining guild. Yeah, the mining lady. Yeah, Actually as so, yes, the mining lady.

James

Yeah, actually as. So.

Andrew

Yes.

James

Callie rolled an 18.

Andrew

Yes.

James

And I'm going to say look, lady at the mining guild wants you dead. Why does she want you dead? Because I don't really like her.

Andrew

All she wants is power. She wants me out of the way so she can take over. And what do you want?

Zanros

All I want is you out of my house.

Andrew

That's going to cost you.

Zanros

My house. You can go out alive or you can go out dead, either way.

Andrew

I'd like to see you try.

Zanros

I'd be happy to Master of the Arcane Arts.

James

What is it that you want? James is trying so hard to get me out of this. What is it that you want? Glass Staff I'm really being upfront with you. Spellcaster to spellcaster.

Andrew

Initiative Initiative Initiative 16.

Catherine

Initiative Roll for initiative let's go 14.

Andrew

One second, Xanros 16.

Zanros

Yep.

Andrew

Dal 14. 14. Iquium, 18. 18. Oh my, oh God. 18. Oh my oh god. This is one where Iquium has the advantage.

Zanros

Spellcaster against Spellcaster.

Andrew

Okay, equium, you are up first.

James

I am going to, yeah, I want to hurt him good first, so I'm going to cast Dissonant Whispers.

Andrew

Okay.

James

He has to make a wisdom saving throw 16. Uh, he saves.

Zanros

Six points of damage. Dang damn it Six points Mm-hmm, six points okay, okay 18

Andrew

and 18 will hit and 11 points of damage 11 okay 11 okay okay um that it brings us up is that your turn.

James

That's my turn, that is your turn, zanros.

Catherine

I've already got my quarterstaff out, so let's do this.

Andrew

Right on what to roll with, because they're all rolling so shitty today.

Catherine

That is 21. No 23. 23.

Andrew

20. Is that not 20 or? 17 plus six, oh geez. Well, you definitely, you definitely are going to hit glass staff.

Catherine

Yeah, I'm going to go for the knees, yeah.

Andrew

Okay.

Catherine

Don't want to strain myself, so I'm just going to kneecap him.

Andrew

Okay.

Fable

Don't you mean de-kneekap?

Andrew

Go ahead.

Catherine

Oh, I'm sorry, he's got information. I am so tired of you already. Then she takes the quarterstaff and just whams him in the legs right in the knees.

Andrew

For how many points?

Catherine

of damage. We shall see, I don't know. Six oh so five.

Andrew

Zanrose yes. Oh so five Zanros, yes, how would you?

Catherine

like to do this. Okay, so he's going to go down on his knees because I just slammed him so hard in the knees with this quarterstaff, and then I'm going to take the quarterstaff and slam him in the back of the head with it.

Andrew

Wow. So you whack him right in the knees. He drops to his knees. Yep, you take another swing. Yep, hit him in the back of the head. He was already weakened, he was already losing a lot of blood, because Callie had done so much piercing damage to him that he was already losing a lot of blood, so he was already very faint. So with that hit to the back of the head, you just crushed his skull and he just falls forward, face first, right under the floor and is completely dead.

Fable

Hey, you didn't even let me have a hit on him sorry, dude master of the arcane arts.

Zanros

Nicely done still squishy as hell yep.

Catherine

James is like he had information. I know he did cause, isn't he? James is like he had information, I know he did when he does.

James

Because, isn't he? Yeah, I just I think because she wants her dead. And he just said she just wants power.

Catherine

I didn't like her, but I liked him less.

Andrew

Was there more to the story? Perhaps Damn it, you will never know.

James

Can you speak with that head?

Andrew

Did somebody know the way to the Wave Echo Cave? Oh God, Perhaps.

James

They're officially murder, hobos.

Andrew

He also knew the way to San Jose, but that's another. Or Santa Fe, santa Fe not.

Speaker 4

San Jose, santa Fe, san Jose or.

Andrew

Santa Fe, Santa Fe, I'm not.

Speaker 4

San Jose, santa Fe, san Jose or Santa Fe.

James

Santa Fe yeah.

Andrew

Santa Fe. I'm thinking about rent Wait.

Zanros

Okay, what.

Catherine

No, I'm just thinking.

Speaker 4

What are you?

Catherine

thinking, thinking about this I haven't found the bugbears yet. Maybe the bugbears know something. What are you looking up? I'm not looking up anything. I'm looking to see if I can talk to animals.

Andrew

Oh, can you talk to?

Catherine

animals? I don't think.

James

I can. I'm just a very angry rock gnome. Wasn't it the bugbear with the?

Catherine

goblins. I thought there were bugbears in here.

Fable

I swear there were a couple of bugbears in here. Well, we did kill one.

Catherine

Yeah, we killed the one with the goblin, but there's at least two, I think. Is there only?

James

the one bugbear.

Andrew

So I will tell you, there was mention of bugbears inside of Trescender Manor.

Catherine

Okay. Oh, it's Halia Thornton. I couldn't find her name, that's. I think she's fine. I don't like her.

Zanros

I don't like her either, but I think she's better than Glasstaff.

Catherine

Why do you like him? Because he's a spellcaster Prejudiced against non-spellcasters.

James

No, no, but usually somebody Just the way she was made me very suspicious of her. It makes me very suspicious of her true motives and effectively she's running the town because Harbin Westers milk toast.

Andrew

So, now that you have this dead body in front of you, what would you like to do?

James

Luke search, search the room, search his desk.

Andrew

You're good, so, equine, you're going to search, or who's who's doing what?

James

I'm going to search, I'm going to do an investigation. Check this desk.

Catherine

I'd like to rifle through his robes.

Andrew

He has nothing on his person.

Zanros

Okay.

Andrew

On the desk. Various papers and notes are stacked neatly on the desk, mostly consisting of his written orders to apothecaries and alchemists and nearby settlements for more materials for his workshop. However, you do also find a letter rolled up and sealed with a wax symbol in the shape of a spider.

Zanros

Oh, no, oh.

Catherine

He was running the spider.

James

He's working with the spider.

Catherine

I wonder how our friend is doing.

James

Okay so, wait so it how our friend is doing. Okay, so wait so it's rolled up and it's sealed.

Andrew

Correct.

James

Is there a wax seal anywhere in the desk?

Andrew

Give me an investigation check.

James

Well, I rolled an investigation, oh, you did so. No, there is not 19.

Andrew

I just whatever there, there is no wax seal.

Catherine

Oh, so is it from the spider. He just hasn't read it yet. Read it.

Andrew

Read it. Read it who would like to read it?

Catherine

I'll read it.

Fable

Dal.

Andrew

Okay, dal, so you open up, you open up, you break the wax seal, correct, yes, correct. So give me a dexterity saving throw.

James

No, I'm just kidding, just kidding actually a poison seal would be quite quite right so you read the letter.

Andrew

Lord Albrecht, my spies in Neverwinter tell me that strangers are due to arrive in Phandalin. They could be working for the dwarves. Capture them if you can, kill them if you must, but don't allow them to upset our plans. See that any dwarven maps in their possession are delivered to me with haste. I'm counting on you, yarno, don't disappoint me.

James

Yarno.

Catherine

Are we the strangers? I think we are.

James

I think we are the strangers. But you know he's talking about Gundren and then any maps, because he had a map, because what's? Mcculloch said that he had a map. Sildar, sildar yeah, sildar had mentioned that Gundren had a map yes, someone give me a history check.

Catherine

I'm plus 3 for history. I rolled a 15 17. I'm plus three for history. I rolled a 15. 17.

Andrew

18. So, as Dal is reading this letter out loud, you all recognize this name. E Arno Albrecht.

James

If you recall, sildar mentioned this name Last staff is the leader of the Red Brands. Oh, you got the thing, because the spider has sent bugbears to reinforce the red brands.

Catherine

Oh, sildar is investigating the disappearance of Yarno Albrecht.

Andrew

Yes.

Catherine

Uh-huh.

Fable

Oh, I think we can help him out with that. Oh, didn't we get 100 gold to get rid of Glass Staff? That's written down in my notes.

Catherine

Oh, is that what she was offering?

Fable

us yeah.

James

I don't think we should tell her, and then, right after that I wrote she has ulterior motives.

Catherine

Mm-hmm, we don't have to tell her he's dead, right? I don't think we should.

James

Mm-hmm.

Andrew

All right. So you've investigated the desk, you've looted the body and there was nothing there. What else would you like to do?

Catherine

What else should we do?

James

What else should we do? So we pretty much ensured that we've thoroughly searched his quarters. Is there any?

Andrew

You haven't thoroughly searched the quarters. You searched the body and you searched the desk.

James

Okay, let's investigate the rest of the room.

Fable

That would be a 21. For the room, that would be a 21 for the room I got a 17.

Catherine

9.

Andrew

So you notice that there is a sturdy wooden chest at the foot of the bed.

Catherine

Okay.

James

Is it? I'll try to open it. Is it a keyed chest? Is it a padlock, or is it a?

Andrew

It appears to be unlocked.

James

Okay.

Andrew

You sure you want to open it?

James

I want to open it in a very specific way.

Andrew

Okay.

James

So if this were the chest, I do not want to be in front of it.

Andrew

Okay.

James

I don't want anybody in front of it. Okay, I want to lift it in front of it. Okay, I want to lift it open from the side.

Andrew

Okay yeah, give me a strength check Shit. I just love doing this to him.

James

Nine Twelve minus three it opens without any effort, nothing happens mean no, we we talked about this one Wednesday night and I'm like how is he even alive, right?

Andrew

magic and I'm like how is he even alive, Right Magic? So inside of this chest holds some of the best things that the red brands have stolen from people Over the past few months. Get your pens and paper out and it contains a hundred and eighty silver pieces okay 130 gold pieces 130 gold pieces 130 gold pieces, okay, and a silk pouch containing five gems worth a hundred or, sorry, worth 15 gold pieces each.

James

Five gems Five gems 15 gold pieces 15 gold pieces each.

Andrew

Five gems. Five gems, 15 gold pieces 15 gold pieces each.

Catherine

That's 75 gold.

Andrew

It also contains two scrolls.

Speaker 4

Oh hello.

Andrew

Upon further inspection, you see that it is a spell scroll of hold person and a spell scroll of fireball.

Zanros

Yes.

James

Nice, how small is the room.

Andrew

It is small enough that a fireball would consume the in everything within the room.

Zanros

I will kill, you will kill you.

Fable

Don't make things worse than they are you know what that reminded me of what you just did. This is going to take me one second this place is already a ruin.

James

It's the ultimate Leroy Jenkins move, oh my god, oh yeah, everybody lives. Yes.

Andrew

Yes, exactly.

Catherine

Do you want to watch my fat butt go? Over the dining room table at James, gotta do it able kiss forever that's right.

Andrew

You have successfully defeated glass staff. You have not finished clearing out tricender manor, aka the Red Brand Hideout. As you can see, there there's really three more areas left to explore, because you've got the two rooms to the south and you really haven't explored the crevasse tavern area.

Fable

Did we go down these steps or these?

James

No.

Catherine

Or those. Well, because I don't see an obvious door there, so we might have to.

James

Is it? We'd have to find out if it was accessible from somewhere else, because it's.

Andrew

What's that? A staircase that you don't know? That's there.

James

Right that we don't know. That's there.

Andrew

Right.

James

Because clearly there's no passage to it, correct?

Andrew

Unbeknownst to you, but knownst to me. Knownst to me but knownst to me, knownst to me Knownst to the DM. What languages do I speak? What?

James

languages. Do you speak English and Spanish English and.

Catherine

Spanish, not in real life, if you know both.

James

You can speak Spanglish, yes.

Catherine

I mean, I could speak Spanglish. I probably speak something closer to Spanglish, you can Wait.

Fable

where does it have my languages Proficient?

Andrew

On the main page, in the lower left corner, under proficiencies and languages.

Catherine

Elvish and Gnomish. Here's why I ask.

Andrew

Yes.

Catherine

Because I looked up bugbears, because I wanted to see if they're as cute as owlbears.

Andrew

No.

Catherine

They are not. They are not, and they speak a goblin language. Does anyone speak goblin?

Andrew

Do they also speak common?

Catherine

It didn't say that. I don't know. Do they speak common?

Fable

I do not speak goblin.

James

No, I don't know do they speak common.

Catherine

I do not speak no and the only thing I have that is grunts, snarls and gestures common okay, they do. Okay, they do speak common okay good to know. Dee, dee, dee Dee, can you speak to the bug bears? Um say hello bug bears. I am dd.

James

Look how cute I am I have discovered something else, and I think it's when I took the invocations yes that I have. What did you discover? Devil's sight, devil's sight, so you can see, normally in darkness, both magical and non-magical, to a distance of 120 feet.

Andrew

To 120 feet Interesting.

James

Because I didn't have that when we encountered the goblins.

Andrew

Right, right, because that was too dark for you to see.

James

Right, right, right I had nothing at that point.

Andrew

This whole area is pretty well lit.

James

It's all lit up this place is lit, let's just really know where we can get low, low, low.

Andrew

Yes, you're all going to get low, so where would you like to go? So you are currently in the bedroom of Glass Staff. You've investigated that. You've investigated his workshop, okay.

James

Have we tossed the bed and everything I mean? Have we?

Andrew

You can if you'd like. Sure Roll an investigation, check I'll investigate further. I dig up. Do you need help? So? So, as our friend here, iquium, is trying to lift the bed to look under it, he happens to throw his back out.

Zanros

Oh no, why didn't you just wait for help, my god.

Andrew

He is now in crippling pain on the floor. Great Super. Someone wrote a critical fail, not me.

Catherine

What do we have? Let's see, do I have anything that can help him?

James

We realize by now there's nothing that can help me.

Andrew

I do so enjoy the lack of strength. It's a great storytelling point.

James

I 100% agree. That is what has you know. Obviously we're talking above the table, so it is that.

Andrew

Yes, it is that 100%, hey, if?

James

you fail. Right, there's this. If you have to do a strength check, it's just comedy.

Andrew

Right, you better roll a nat 20, or else you're going to.

James

Right, there's the greater impetus for me to roll a nat 20 on any athletics or strength check.

Andrew

Yes.

James

So that I can at least get a 17.

Catherine

Correct, I'm playing the drums Gauntlets of overpower. I'm playing the drums Gauntlets of ogre power.

Andrew

So, now that Iquium is writhing in pain, what are the rest of you doing?

Catherine

Del. Do you have anything that can heal him?

Fable

Like potion.

Catherine

I don't know, I cast fireball. No, I do not cast fireball. Well, he's not.

Andrew

I was going to say Because it really doesn't take away HP fireball. No, I do not cast fireball. Well, he's not. I was going to say because it really doesn't take away HP.

Catherine

I know, but we can't. What are we going to do with him rolling around on the floor?

Andrew

There's always the option to carry him.

Catherine

Could we put him on? No, we can put him on Callie's back. Okay, callie. Like I said, I need a goblin beorn, put him on Callie's back.

Andrew

Okay, callie.

James

All right, like I said, I need a goblin beorn. Yeah, you do. Yes, absolutely so.

Catherine

Dal and I are going to well. I will help as much as I can, but Dal mostly is going to put Iquium onto Callie's back.

Andrew

Okay, so now Iquium is clutched onto Callie's back.

Catherine

Whining and crying.

Andrew

Yes.

Catherine

I assume you're whining and crying Oy vey, oh, my God yeah.

Andrew

Oh my, that seems correct.

James

It's better than the time I sneezed. I was out for weeks.

Speaker 4

Yeah really All right. So where would you.

Andrew

I was out for weeks? Yeah, really, oh, my God, all right. So where would you so? Do you so? In Nick Williams' attempt to investigate the rest of the room, that clearly failed. So what would you two like to do now?

Catherine

I mean, I'd like to look under the bed. I'm tiny, I should be able to shimmy under there.

Andrew

You certainly can. So roll an investigation, check, let's say, with advantage. Since you're so short and wee, how would you have advantage on that 19.? Okay, you find absolutely nothing.

Catherine

I'm sorry, that was actually a 20 with my plus one. Nothing under the bed. Even more nothing.

Andrew

Even more nothing. There is nothing but dust, bunnies, ikram why didn't you just let us help?

Zanros

Oh my God, there's nothing under here.

James

It looked like a cistern to me.

Zanros

Cistern, cistern, oh man.

Andrew

Just a cistern looking for her mistern, so like because we were talking about Sister, Sister.

Catherine

Yeah.

Andrew

It's again Mike Dowdy.

Catherine

Yes.

Andrew

From Soul Coughing, yes, and now on his own solo stuff talking about sister sister. Yeah, it's again mike dowdy, yeah, from from um soul coughing, yes, and now on on his own solo stuff. But he has. He's got the one song with the with the lyric in it james vanderbeek and them sisters from sister sister, and it's like. It's like permanently stuck in my head james vanderbeek and them sisters from sister sister.

Catherine

Wow, it's just it's stuck in my head. Soul Coughing has been defunct since 2000.

Andrew

Yeah.

Catherine

Wow. He's released 11 albums.

Andrew

Yeah, he has.

Catherine

Starting with Hottie Melodic.

Andrew

Yeah, phenomenal album.

Catherine

Yeah, Hottie Melodic's a really good one.

Andrew

It really is.

Catherine

They used a bunch of songs from that album in uh veronica mars did they really?

Andrew

yes, you're right, they did. I do remember that, yeah, when logan and yeah, that's right having that big, deep conversation, the?

Catherine

what is it? The bells, I can hear the bells, I hear the bells yeah, yeah, yeah it's playing in the background yeah, amazing he.

Andrew

I I still have. I still have to go back and read his memoir. Oh yeah, the book of drugs, because he was. He was like a big drug addict when he was in Soul Coughing, like that was like the whole thing got himself clean. The band broke up. But his music is just amazing. I love the music. I love the lyrics. He's just brilliant.

Andrew

The Haughty Melodic I got you on LP. Yes, you did Haughty melodic. It's great. Busting up a starbucks great song. Sometimes I just feel like busting up a starbucks. It's like it's just. There's just some like great, great tunes. He did a whole. He did a remake album of a bunch of the soul coughing songs, like reimagined the songs and they're one of my favorite songs. I think how I got into Soul Coughing was they did a song on the X-Files album, songs in the Key of X, which were songs inspired by the X-Files, and Soul Coughing did this song called Unmarked Helicopters, which is just a great tune. And that's how I kind of got hooked on Soul Coughing. I'm like this is a great fucking tune. And then all their other Ruby, vroom, good, good stuff.

Catherine

This has been your Mike Dowdy corner that's right.

Andrew

Love you, mike dowdy your mike dowdy minute your mike dowdy minute anyway yeah where would you like to go?

Catherine

all right, so where?

Speaker 4

haven't we been.

Catherine

Yet we haven't gone over here, we haven't really gone through here, right?

James

so we've got here it's here, that's easy enough, because that's yeah, we're right there. Oh, there's another thing. Okay, oh yeah, and there's easy enough, because that's yeah, we're right there.

Catherine

Oh, there's another thing. Okay, oh yeah, and there's a staircase. Maybe that's how we get downstairs, but that goes up. What?

Andrew

You already went down. You already went downstairs.

Catherine

Oh, we went downstairs.

Andrew

Okay, went down the stairs, you went into the one room.

Catherine

I say wow.

Zanros

Okay, I, oh, I need to figure out what's down those other stairs eventually, because this is my BM.

Catherine

No those go those.

Andrew

Just, you can't see those stairs, but those stairs go up. Oh, okay, that's an ascending from the floor you're on, that's an ascending staircase, Okay. So if you, if you had gone that way, you would have gone down, you'd have gone down from the upper floor to where you are right now.

Catherine

Got it.

Andrew

That's, that's why. Okay, that leads back to where you were.

Zanros

Got it Back to the level.

Andrew

Correct, correct Okay.

Catherine

So you want to go? Yeah, let's. Let's listen at this door To the South.

James

Yeah, to the South. Okay, south door from where we just came from.

Catherine

Well, I guess Dal or I are going to listen at the door because you're trying to incapacitate us. Plus, my investigation is All right, I'm going to investigate, unless you want Callie to investigate. She's got pretty good perception. Do you want me to do it or you want?

Andrew

Give me a perception check.

Catherine

Okay, Perception, perception, perception. What do I have on perception? Sorry.

Zanros

I'm perception.

Catherine

Sorry, oh, there, it is Okay. 19.

Fable

Now what Nine Maybe do a perception.

Andrew

Oh, maybe it was just I've got a ten, a ten yes okay, so you are, you hear, you hear some noise.

Andrew

It's hard to make out what the noise is, but it sounds it almost. I'm trying to describe it almost. It's hard to make out what the noise is, but it sounds it almost. I'm trying to describe it almost. Sounds like you hear that kind of Almost like something, almost like dice being played. Okay, you hear that Exactly. Thank you, fable. You hear that exact type of sound. There's some shouts, some groans, just a group of voices that you hear in the room. Oh boy, it doesn't sound like a ton of people, but there's more than one, fewer than it's a handful. Let's say it's a handful of people a handful of voices.

James

These are not friends we could go to kind of a dark place uh, huh we could cut off Last Staff's head and deliver him via Mage Hand and just drop his head in the room and go. He's dead. You can leave now.

Andrew

Damn.

Catherine

Yeah, the thing is, just because he's gone, I don't think they'll go, because he clearly was not the head of the operation.

James

I mean he had that letter to Spider.

Catherine

We're assuming that is Well the letter of the operation. I mean he had that letter to Spider. We're assuming that is Well. The letter was from Spider and Spider was like you better do what I tell you. The letter from Spider made it, I thought, made it clear that Spider's in charge.

James

So, but I thought, we were told that he was the head of.

Catherine

He's the head of the Redbrands, but I think Spider's his boss.

Andrew

Glass. Yeah, so this is. It's a relatively flat organization. It's you have to deal with a matrixed environment. So, there's dotted lines. Who's?

James

shifting the paradigm Right exactly.

Andrew

So the Redbrands report right up to Glassstep, but a dotted line to the spider. So he's not their direct manager, but there's roles and responsibilities in there.

Catherine

But let's say, their direct manager is now dead.

Andrew

But let's say their direct manager is now dead. They're going to have an issue with that.

Catherine

Yeah, and they're not going to just take off, even if we send them his head.

Andrew

Because spiders relate to home office. This is a satellite office.

Catherine

This is Dunder. Mifflin Utica Right and they're from corporate.

Andrew

Right, exactly. So Michael Scott is Glass Staff.

Catherine

We just killed Michael Scott.

Andrew

You just killed Michael Scarn. This is threat level midnight. Ladies and gentlemen.

James

I'm just here to fuck up Dwight.

Catherine

So the spider is David Wallace.

Andrew

Yes, yes, david Wallace is the spider. You nailed it. How did you figure that out?

James

It wasn't for you kids and that pesky dog. That's right, I've gotten away with this plan, oh boy.

Andrew

All right. So the short answer is yes, so immediately. Glass Staff is the head of the red brands.

Catherine

Yes, so we are.

Andrew

He is Glass Staff himself is working for the Spider, but all the red brands work directly for Glass Staff. They don't necessarily know there's another relationship. They're they're just.

Catherine

they just report up to glass staff and do do his bidding so I mean, we could deliver glass staff's head, but I don't think they're gonna leave just because we do. I think it might just make them madder like what if we go in and I'm just like oh, oh, hey, it's me, zanrose, this is my B&B, get out.

James

I could always try the Callie and I go in and go look he got changed into a dog and see how that goes again.

Catherine

Hey guys, I'm hurt. Help, help, help.

Speaker 4

Or or run in the room who's running you I feel.

Andrew

Yeah, you're not running anywhere because you're on the back of Callie right now.

James

Yeah, you're not running. I feel funny and then go out of the door and then Callie comes in the door.

Andrew

With a cloak on. Yeah, nice, you can try.

Catherine

You can certainly try, he can certainly try, I can't. He can't run.

James

He's whimpering on the face of the time, we could try to go around it, or we could split the party and go in both doors, or we could split the party and go in both doors, assuming we can find the other door, if there's another door Because we don't, as of yet, it's unbeknownst.

Andrew

Correct, that is correct. It's knownst to someone Knownst to the mapmaker. So what is your plan? You're kind of all crowded in this little hallway.

Catherine

An alcove and there's somebody inside playing a game of some sort. We have to decide what we're doing, yeah yes like do we send you in? And you pretend to be, like you try to pull off the. Hey look, I'm just an average red brand thing again. Yeah, yep.

James

I'm just a red brand.

Andrew

Yes, I'm only a red brand and I'm sitting on this dire wolf. Wow, yeah, wow, thank you Was that not a compliment. Wow Okay, so that, not a compliment. Wow Okay. So what are you going to? What's going on?

Catherine

We can either send you in or I can go in just kind of like puttering around Setting up a job fair. Yeah, exactly here I am at the B&B hey, who are you? He's like oh, you didn't know, I own this house. Yeah, this is my B&B, hey who are you?

Fable

He's like oh, you didn't know, I own this house.

Catherine

Yeah, this is my B&B. What are you doing here?

James

Are you here for a job? You're welcome to, but you're going to have to be employed by me. Yeah, you're going to have to work.

Catherine

No free rides at the B&B.

Andrew

Nope. So what's happening?

Catherine

How do you want to do this?

James

That's my line, I know. Okay, so the options are I just go in and play it off like I'm just one of them. Yeah, okay.

Catherine

Or I go in like I don't realize that the place is crawling with red brands and I'm just, you know, coming in to check out the place and start cleaning up place and start cleaning up, or we drop Glass Staff's body in the midst of them. Well, yes, that is. That seems to be your preferred strategy, but I think we might be able to get some information out of whoever's in there first. I kind of went a little. My my unending rage toward Glass Staff is what got him killed so fast.

James

Well, let's see. Well, I mean you're going to be right on the other side of the door. So if I walk in just very nonchalantly- yeah, like we're right outside. Yeah.

Catherine

Well, you're not walking in, You're riding Callie in. Yeah, well, you're not walking in. You're riding Callie in. Yeah, see, I feel like you should go in on Callie's back and be like, oh my God, guys, I'm hurt. I was in town and I got attacked.

James

And then Mark turned into a dire wolf, or she can have me in her mouth and drop me.

Speaker 4

Oh.

James

Just set me down. And I just go nice doggy, nice doggy, run for your lives.

Catherine

He wants us to make a decision.

Andrew

And we could do this all day, but Okay.

Catherine

Is that from the Captain America musical? I could do this all day.

Fable

Exactly, there's a Captain America musical.

Catherine

It's fake, but then they made it at Disney. So yeah. But wasn't it part of Hawkeye? Yes, yes, yeah, but there was it part of Hawkeye, yes.

Andrew

Yes.

Catherine

Yeah, but there was only the one song. Oh, okay, and then they turned it into Rogers, the Musical at the parks.

Andrew

Yeah, indeed, okay, that's kind of funny.

James

Can I walk? Am I still hurting or do I need to be carried?

Andrew

At this point, you still need to be carried, okay.

Catherine

You threw out your back trying to lift a bed. Yeah.

Andrew

Dal, do you have any suggestions?

Fable

I mean Not really, not besides what's already been put out there. So what would you like to do? We could do what you were suggesting. What's that, callie?

James

Like nonchalantly walk in on Callie and say I've been hurt, and there are, you know, even saying there are intruders.

Fable

Yeah.

Catherine

Okay, if you say there are intruders, they're going to come rushing out the door to where Dal and I are standing True.

James

And I can always attack them from behind. Unless you roll poorly in which case you're sending ducks.

Andrew

I don't know how much fighting you're doing right now With your back thrown out.

James

We have not. Okay, theo Pimble, theo, theo Pimble.

Andrew

Theo Theo Pimble Bing.

James

How you doing Theo.

Andrew

Fine.

James

How many people are usually in this room? How many red brands are there to your knowledge?

Andrew

This is just a room where we hang out, so I mean, it could be, it could be a, it could be, it could be a couple, it could be a dozen. It all depends on who's here in the hideout at any given time how many people might be in that room. But this is just a common room where we hang out and kind of blow off steam.

Catherine

You're going to be anybody not human in that room.

Andrew

I've never seen it. It's only been red brands, all the red brands in that room. I know there's talk of bugbears, but I wouldn't know where they are.

Catherine

I forgot I should be in character.

Zanros

So what rooms haven't you gone into that you don't know where the bugbears are? Has anybody said, hey, stay out of that room, there's a bugbear in there.

Andrew

No, the bug. Well, I haven't been here since I haven't been in this area of the hideout like I've been in this common room, like the only places where I have. I've never been in Glass Staff's quarters. I would have thought maybe there'd be bugbears there protecting him, but so I don't know where the bugbears could possibly be at this point.

James

Maybe the bugbears are on a break maybe huh, is one named Ross and one named Rachel. Maybe the bugbears are on a break, huh. Is one named Ross and one named Rachel, Just asking for a friend. So we do have another possibility, because how much have you been, how much have either of you been injured?

Zanros

I have full health.

Fable

You have full health. I'm 7 out of 12.

James

What about spells and stuff?

Fable

I've only used one, no.

Catherine

I haven't used any spell slots. Actually, I have used both of my key points, so I can't take any bonus actions Right.

Fable

I've been saving some good spells.

James

I mean I can get my spell slots back if I have a short rest. I mean I can cast Elder's Blast, and that's what I do most of the time.

Fable

But any of my bigger ones. There's two big ones I've been saving, which is Inflict Moons and Guiding Will.

James

Okay, so the question is, we can also retreat to Glafst Staff's room and try to rest, because is anybody else going to come in and see him Into his inner room?

Catherine

Do we take a short rest and then move on? If we take a short rest, does Iquium get any of his health back or does his back hurt less?

Andrew

Iquium could use some of his hit die to regain hit points. I know I said you didn't really lose hit points, but we'll say you have. If you're able to take a short rest, then you'd be well enough to be mobile again. Oh, I'll say that much.

Catherine

So maybe we should short rest.

James

in that way you can walk into the yeah, but I'll get my, I'll get my two pack slots back, okay, um, that's all I and do I need them? I, I, I don't, I don't know.

Andrew

So a short rest is what? Roughly an hour, or one to four hours. So let's see.

Catherine

So you're going to retreat to Glass Staff's quarters and try to attempt to take a short rest.

Andrew

What does that mean? Well, if anybody comes in to see him, you're going to attempt to it, and then we're going to see if somebody discovers you or not. Okay, so, while you are. So you're all huddled in, not huddled, but you're all hanging out in Glass Staff's quarters.

Catherine

So it's the three of us Callie, theo Pimble, and then Myrna and the kids.

James

Yes, In Glass Staff's body which we prop up a la Weekend at Bernie's. Yes.

Catherine

Put some sunglasses on him.

Andrew

So, as you are, as you're trying to rest and heal up, you hear Sir, sir, are you in there? Are you awake?

Catherine

So I think our best bet at this point might be James trying to imitate class staff. Who dares?

James

disturb me.

Andrew

Roll for deception. Oh boy Fable.

Catherine

Oh, boy, okay 16.

Andrew

I'm sorry, sir, but there's. We haven't seen you. We need to know what to do next. We haven't seen you.

James

We need to know what to do next. What was Glass Staff wearing Was?

Catherine

he wearing a hat or anything? What are we doing with the hat.

Andrew

Remember he had the boots with the fur.

Catherine

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, he did. And the apple-bottom jeans. He had the apple-bottom jeans and the boots with the fur. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes he did and the apple-bottom jeans.

Andrew

He had the apple-bottom jeans and the boots with the fur. No hat, though.

Catherine

Did he have a cape?

Andrew

He did have a cape, a fur around the collar.

Catherine

Furry cape.

Andrew

Are you going to?

James

strip a dead man naked? No, I think it'll take too long. I was going to take his cape and just put his cape against the door and go. You know.

Catherine

What if we just try to continue imitating him and be like what do you usually do this time of day?

James

Well, I was going to say. What did I tell you the last time? This is ridiculous that I have to answer all these questions. I'm trying to formulate a new plan here.

Catherine

I'm trying to nap.

Andrew

We have a conference call with the rest of the group at the other building and we're waiting on you. We've got the sending stone ready, we've got everything hooked up. We're just waiting for you to come out and conduct the meeting.

Catherine

Cover the meeting Always. Oh, what if we tell them is the meeting with, is the meeting with the spider?

Andrew

No, because they're not really aware. So it's other red brands, oh.

James

Other red brands.

Catherine

Other red brands Just tell them you need to cancel because you're busy. Sorry guys, I've double booked and I need to cancel.

James

I mean you could, I mean you could, you could. One of you could lift Glass Staff. We put him up to the door and say come in. When the guy comes in, he falls over and we all yell at the guy, you killed him. He's still going to wonder who the hell we are.

Andrew

Are you still deliberating on what to do?

Catherine

We don't know how many, sir?

Andrew

Sir, we don't know how many. We're going to be late for the call, sir.

Catherine

Just tell him we have to cancel the call.

James

We have to delay the call. I'm almost finished with this formulation.

Andrew

Another deception check 17. Very well, sir. What should I tell the rest of them?

Fable

Get all life.

Catherine

Go out into town and terrorize the people. Jesus Like, enjoy some free time, you idiot oh.

Speaker 4

I know what we tell them in a meeting, like this Everybody gets half an hour back.

James

Do we recall by any chance how much ale was at the sleeping, the unruly orc, whatever?

Andrew

The surly orc.

James

Surly orc.

Andrew

How much ale.

James

Like how much was an, ale how much was a beer.

Andrew

Oh, how much was it, how much it was.

James

Was it a couple of coppers?

Andrew

It was a couple of copper. It was a couple of copper, handful of copper pieces for an ale.

James

Here's what I'll do. I'm going to take three gold and I'm going to just stick my arm out the door and go go to the pub. Until I finish this formulation, I'll send for you Just my hand out the door.

Andrew

So what do you want this to be? Do you want this to be deception, persuasion, persuasion, persuasion. So roll for persuasion 20.

James

30-20.

Andrew

Whatever you say, sir, he takes the gold pieces and he goes sorry to have bothered you and closes the door and takes off.

Catherine

Can we have our short rest now?

Andrew

You can have your short rest now. Nothing else will happen during your short rest, I'll be sure, I'm very sure. I assure you Surely, I am sure. Don't call me, surely?

James

It's the first room I didn't walk into and start trying to kill people. Yeah.

Catherine

How did it feel? I've done a lot of work. How does that feel?

James

for you. I still think we should kill them, but anyway.

Zanros

Okay.

James

So we take our short rest.

Zanros

Yes.

Andrew

Yes, heal up, get some spell slots back.

Catherine

I got my key points back.

Andrew

Yay, key points.

Catherine

That means I can flurry of blows people.

Andrew

Yes, slap them around.

Catherine

Slap a bugbear.

Speaker 4

Mm-hmm.

Catherine

Can you hear?

Andrew

me now. Can I hear you now? Yeah, I'm like right up on it, I can hear you.

Fable

Yeah, can you hear me?

Andrew

I would prefer that you were that close to the microphone.

Catherine

Oh, do you want me to talk like this all the time?

Andrew

You don't have to have your mouth right up on it.

Catherine

I think it's funnier that way though.

Speaker 4

Hello.

Andrew

Hello, welcome to the delicious dish Mmm.

Catherine

Sweaty balls.

Andrew

Your balls taste so good in my mouth. They're a little salty. Yes, they are a little salty. What are you doing? Oh, sweet Jesus.

James

Is that your nose on your face, or are you happy to see me Nice?

Catherine

My God I don't know, maybe we'll walk away. I'm just playing around.

Andrew

Okay, bill Clinton with that red nose Nice. Hashtag couple goals, a few too many to drink.

Catherine

I had a dream in which I was fully married to somebody I went to college with last night.

Andrew

Wow.

Catherine

Yeah, it wasn't you.

Andrew

Because we didn't go to college together.

James

That makes sense.

Andrew

Right, exactly If you're going to marry somebody you went to college with it wouldn't be me no. Are we all ready?

Fable

Yes.

Andrew

Okay, have you completed your short rest?

Catherine

Yes.

Andrew

Excellent. So you're all healed up and yeah, ready to go.

Fable

I did it and it didn't give me any of my hit points back, which is odd.

Andrew

You have to roll. Well, you have to. You don't automatically get hit points back. You have to use your hit dice to gain hit points back. So you can choose. You have at level two you have what two hit dice, or three hit dice, two hit dice, so you could use one or both.

James

Yeah, because when you go into short rest you could say hey, take short rest. And then it asks you well, oh yeah. I'm good I got 11.

Andrew

Excellent.

James

Total you get two, yeah two, hit dice.

Fable

Yeah, I'm good, all good now.

Andrew

All right, what would you like to do now?

Catherine

Well, now I think we should go check out that room, okay.

James

Let's go check out the room. Okay, we'll listen again, just to ensure.

Catherine

Let's percept whether anyone's in there.

Andrew

You hear heavy breathing? Yeah, kidding, I was going to say you currently hear nothing.

Catherine

Okay, all right, I'm going to try the door now.

Andrew

What's your AC?

James

15. Is that plus one? Oh, no, no. Technically yours is higher. You still have a major so it's, 13 plus your dexterity, that was 12.

Catherine

My dexterity is 6, so 19?.

Andrew

You have an AC of 19. Yes, okay, that's good to know. So the door opens without a problem.

Catherine

Mm-hmm, and then what?

Andrew

There's no one in here because they all went to the Surly Orc to go get drinks.

Catherine

So let's look around.

Andrew

So clearly you see the remnants of what was a game, of something referred to as knuckle bones, but there's just some playing pieces on the dice and some playing pieces on the table, and that's it. Okay, what else is in the room.

Andrew

There's really not much else in the room, so several worn tables and chairs are scattered around this room. Wooden benches are drawn against the walls, decorated with brown and red drapery. If we don't try to lift anything, that's about it. That's about it in this room, it's just. It just looks like a room where people would kind of hang out and spend time. You also notice that there is a door to the south.

James

I'll just just to look in the room. Can I do an investigation check?

Andrew

You can, you can do an investigation check.

James

Can you tell me the amount of nothing that I've seen?

Catherine

14. Mucho nothing.

Andrew

You see so much nothing.

James

You. Is there a cistern?

Andrew

in the room. There's not a cistern, there's not a brothern.

Catherine

There's Not an uncle, not an uncle, not an uncle, uncle, uncle Uncle. Uncle Uncle, uncle, uncle Uncle.

Andrew

Uncle, there's nothing. Uncle Earn, there's no fam learn Uncle.

James

Earn, you gotta get back to work now.

Andrew

There's nothing to see here.

James

Okay, shucks.

Andrew

Yes.

James

Jumping G-Hoss-a-fan, so I think we should proceed to the Over here the suit. To the suit.

Catherine

Okay, let's go to the south. This is me talking into the mic.

Andrew

Nice. Is that you talking into the mic?

Catherine

That is me talking into the mic. This is me talking into the mic.

James

This is me talking into the mic. Doppler effect is real.

Andrew

See, that's all that I would like you to do is just talk into the microphone. Okay, that's very simple. We should like you to do is just talk into the microphone.

James

Okay, we should play the game while we're talking into the mic. Just to be clear.

Andrew

Yes, so Now you're in the hallway, there is a set, so to your. So you're heading south, so to your left is a set of stairs that go up.

James

Are they like the stairs we came down? I understand that they're different, but are they similar in structure? Yes, yeah okay.

Andrew

Same type of thing, just a set of stairs going to the upper level, and then there's that door directly in front of you to the south, so you can either go to the left up the stairs or through the door.

Catherine

I mean, I think we should go through the door and finish essentially searching this level, right, yeah, and then we can go up. Yeah, I agree, okay, so before we go through the door, we're going to listen at the door. Would you like a perception check?

Andrew

I would like a perception check.

Fable

I have a plus five on that.

James

Okay, twelve for me, hmm, twelve.

Fable

It almost fell. You're doing that Nineteen Four. I wonder whose is better.

Catherine

Mine.

Andrew

Dal.

Fable

These.

Andrew

You hear several gruff voices, ruh-roh Speaking, and you're not sure what they're saying. But you Do, you speak goblin, I do not. We found the bug bears. So you, you, whatever you can, you can tell they're speaking in goblin and you can, you can. The voices are very angry.

Fable

Great, lovely, that's what we want.

Andrew

So that's, that is what you perceive.

Catherine

So, if we're going in which I presume we have to do I would like to propose once again that Zanros just rolls in and is like oh, did the agency send you? Okay, let's give it a shot. Are you the bouncers for the B&B? Oh, did the agency send you? Okay, let's give it a shot. Are you the bouncers for the B&B? Should we do it? Yeah, okay, what's our order? Other than me, dal, backing me up? I can back you up, or Callie, okay. Callie then I Theo Pimble and then the hostages.

Fable

I think we should tell the hostages to just how tall is Lizandra's man? Three, three foot five.

Catherine

That's funny. I think we should tell the hostages to hang out in that little break room for now. Okay, right, because they don't need to get involved in a bugbear fight. No, okay to get involved in a bugbear fight. Okay, I just think it's funny.

Fable

I'm backing her up, and she's like half my height.

Catherine

You're towering over her, well, okay.

Andrew

Okay, so what does he order again?

Catherine

It's me.

Andrew

Yes, then Dal, then Dal.

Catherine

Then I'd say Iquim, you want to go first, or Callie?

James

I want Callie to be able to get to you if necessary. So I'd say Callie, then me, because I can cast it.

Catherine

Okay, callie, then Iquium, then Theo, because I don't want to let him out of my sight.

Andrew

So you're basically already backed up into the other room because, I mean, it's only a 15-foot hallway.

Zanros

Okay, so Nuna why don't you and the children stay here? Because I don't like what I'm hearing on the other side of that door and I don't want any more trouble for you.

Andrew

You don't have to tell me twice, okay.

Catherine

All right, oh, so I think what I'm going to do is knock on the door. Okay, so?

Zanros

Hello, who's there? Hi, it's me, zanros. I own the place. Did the agency send you? I was looking for some muscle for the B&B Agency.

Andrew

Agency, no, the spider.

Zanros

Spider's not who I spoke to. I think I spoke to Nancy. Nancy at the agency, you got sure you're in the right place.

Andrew

The door flings open.

Zanros

Well, you look like you're muscle.

Andrew

And there are four very angry bugbears there. There is one goblin who sees all this and faints.

Catherine

Who's the goblin?

Andrew

He's unconscious, I don't know. He's the goblin.

Catherine

He's unconscious, I don't know he's in the room.

Andrew

He was in the room with them. Oh Okay, he saw all this. He got scared and passed out.

Catherine

So there's four bugbears and a goblin in this room. Four bugbears and one goblin and a passed out goblin.

Andrew

And a passed out goblin.

Zanros

So I mean you look like my security detail. You're telling me you're not you sure you're in the right place, because this is my bed and breakfast.

Andrew

This is no bed and breakfast.

Zanros

I mean, I beg to differ. It needs some work, but this is my family's property and I am turning it into a bed and breakfast.

Andrew

This place is owned by the spider.

Zanros

Let's see Spider Bumble Bumble. No, no, nobody in my lineage named the spider and my family has owned this property for years.

Andrew

You better get out of here if you value your life.

Zanros

No, I'm not going to do that. Hold on a second, dal. This is my assistant, dal Dal, could you check again? Nancy at the agency said she was sending some muscle right.

Fable

Yeah, I do believe that Nancy said she was sending some muscle from the agency. This kind of looks like that. I'm checking right now.

Zanros

Thank you, these guys, this kind of looks like that I. I'm checking right now like.

Andrew

Thank you, these guys. So are you trying to persuade, deceive, intimidate? You're trying to deceive, yeah so so roll for it, roll for a deception.

Catherine

I'm kind of hoping that they're stupid enough. I'm kind of hoping that they're stupid enough that they're gonna fall for this and think they work there.

Fable

Do we both have to roll or just Bumble Bumble?

Andrew

No, just Zanros, because she's the one talking.

Catherine

Fifteen Just Bumble Bumble, just Bumble Bumble. I was googling Bumble Bumble B&B. There used to be a B&B in Portugal called B&B Bembom nice fascinating.

Andrew

Reserve the domain right now.

James

Right Yep.

Andrew

Bumblebumblebb BB. Bb EG so they are a little bit confused because they have no idea what you're talking about. Mm-hmm, idea of what you're talking about. They're just dumbfounded because they don't know what to do. They go.

Zanros

So who is this spider? Can I get in touch with him?

Andrew

You want to talk to spider?

Zanros

Yeah, if he's telling people that he owns my B&B, I'd like to speak to him.

Andrew

I'm trying to remember where the spider is. I think he's at Cragmaw Castle.

Catherine

Yeah, because that's where Gundren is. Yeah, yeah.

Andrew

We can't tell you where that is.

Zanros

I mean, can you connect me via like a sending stone or something?

Andrew

Let me talk to this guy. What's in it for us?

Zanros

I mean, what would you like?

James

I can offer you a job.

Zanros

I got a little bit of cold.

Andrew

I already got a job.

Zanros

Do you?

Speaker 4

though you don't seem to know where you are.

James

I love it, the audacity, the sheer bravado of it all.

Catherine

Three foot five. What do I weigh? 29 pounds. Yeah, yeah.

Andrew

So with that, one of them just starts picking up from behind him his Morningstar and just starts twirling it around in his hand. Oh, look at the pig man, I'm so impressed.

Zanros

I already thought you were my security detail you don't have to prove it to me.

Andrew

We don't work for you.

Zanros

Tal, were you able to get Nancy on the phone?

Fable

She won't pick up God.

Zanros

Nancy, just like her. Listen, guys, why don't you go outside? Take it up with your friend the spider and I'll lock the door behind you.

Andrew

We're not leaving this place.

Zanros

Ickwim, did you want to cast Fireball now?

James

Um Eldritch Blast.

Speaker 4

You sure this is what you guys want to do.

Zanros

You can leave now your buddy Glassstaff. You know that guy Think he's pretty tough.

James

This is where we meet, the end of the dungeon and the end of our lives.

Catherine

He's writing down Bugbear 1 through 4.

James

I rolled in that 23 on the class, by the way.

Catherine

I can see there's a gap between your laptop and the screen.

Andrew

You're so bad, you're so bad.

James

BB-1, bb-2, bb-3. The greatest thing is, I rolled a nat 20 for Eldritch Blast.

Andrew

You rolled a nat 20 for Eldritch Blast. So which of the four bugbears would you like to hit with Eldritch Blast? Actually, I can only hit the one in the doorway.

James

What's that? I can only hit the one in the doorway.

Andrew

That's true. Yeah, because you're behind, I don't know how you're going to how can you even cast a spell behind Dal? I know I was going to say Dal is so much taller than you. Dal and I are like oof, I mean I guess it's five foot wide, so you could probably shoot past Dal.

Catherine

Dal is going left and I am going right. Let me do this, yeah.

Andrew

Okay.

Catherine

Jazz hands, you're jazz handing the Eldritch Blast. Yes, so that he can shoot the Eldritch Blast in between us.

Andrew

All right. So how much damage are you going to do to?

Speaker 4

the bugbear in the doorway.

James

I had Actually it's 24 to hit.

Andrew

Just made it.

James

Just made it.

Andrew

Just made it.

James

Fantastic, it takes. Okay, there's 11 points of damage. No, 9 points of damage. 9 points of damage.

Andrew

Are you sure?

James

No, no, it was the 19 points of damage.

Andrew

It's 9 points of damage the 19 points of damage.

James

It's 9 points of damage, 9 points of damage so I don't get to add my modifier right, because I haven't been doing that what do you mean? On spell attack, I have plus 4, so that's how I get the 24 right let's spell modifiers plus 2, so does that? What if I do this, just just roll nine? Yes, it's a straight d10, there's no, there's no, correct. Yeah, it's a 1d10, it's yeah it's a straight D10.

Andrew

There's no Correct. Yeah, it's a 1D10.

James

Yeah, it's nine points of damage.

Andrew

All right. So you did nine points of damage and everybody needs to roll for initiative.

Zanros

You guys should have left when I gave you the chance 19.

James

17.

Andrew

Hang on, hang on, hang on Dal 19 19. Equians 17.

Zanros

21. Okay.

Andrew

Okay, okay, okay.

Zanros

I try to let these guys have a shot and they always want to fight. Hey guys, before we really get into it, glassstaff's dead.

James

Says Clark.

Andrew

We don't answer to them.

Zanros

Spider's gonna be dead too. We just gotta find him. Cometh at me, brother.

Andrew

Oh my god, zanros, they're those Jersey.

Zanros

Shore, bugbears Seas, jersey.

Andrew

Shore bugbears, seaside Heights. Bugbears Fucking A Fucking.

James

A right.

Zanros

We need to fix our hand bro.

Andrew

Fist pumping in the door. Can we do a perception check on the door? All I hear is oomph, oomph, oomph, oomph, oomph.

Catherine

Gymtan laundry.

James

Boots and pants and boots and pants Gymtan laundry bugbear Boots and pants and boots and pants.

Andrew

Xanros, you're up first.

Catherine

Cabs are here. Okay, I'm going with the quarterstaff.

Andrew

Okay, come on.

Catherine

Oh, no Seven.

Andrew

That definitely misses. Is there anything else you'd like to do?

Catherine

Yes, let's go with Flurry of Blows. Right on I said get the hell out of here, as the bugbear just leans back and 24.

Andrew

Averts your quarterstaff, that hits I bet it does.

Catherine

Oh, I need to do four. Choose this guy Seven.

Andrew

You did seven points of damage.

Catherine

To the guy in the door.

Andrew

Okay, you have a second, it's two attacks.

Speaker 4

Oh, that's right, I get to go again. You have a second. It's two attacks, it's two unarmed attacks Go again, oop 25.

Andrew

Definitely hits.

Zanros

Six.

Andrew

Between the two of you. You really messed up this bugbear. He is not doing well, however, in his rage of being hit by this massive blow from the elders. The critical hits Like you what?

James

I totally blew it.

Catherine

What'd you do?

James

Because I got a critical hit. I should have doubled my damage.

Andrew

You didn't double the damage, I didn't double the damage, oh shit, I rolled.

James

I rolled a nine for damage, right, and I thought there was a modifier, but what I was probably thinking was I had to double for damage, right, and I thought there was a modifier.

Andrew

But what I was?

James

probably thinking was I had to double the damage.

Andrew

So Because he'd be dead at this point. So obviously he's coming right after Zanros. Yeah, because you're right up front.

Catherine

I have that dodge ability right, so let's see if he hits. Well, the dodge is an action. Yeah, yeah, oh, I can't take it because it's not my turn.

Andrew

Well, you already took.

Catherine

You already took your turn right, right, no, that's what I'm saying. I can't, it's not.

Andrew

It's not a reaction is dodge a reaction? I thought dodge was an action. Can you take dodge as a reaction?

James

I thought you could take it as a reaction or a bonus action oh, I don't, I don't recall, should we?

Andrew

let's look that up, everybody. Let's look something up we're gonna learn is it's uncanny dodge right it just says dodge, dodge action when you take the dodge action, when you take the dodge action Because until the start of your next what's that.

James

It says here why is it, the question became, is uncanny dodge not auto passive 5E rules? Uncanny dodge is reaction Still qualifies as less of a reflex. But that's, is it uncanny dodge? No, it's just dodge, it's just dodge.

Andrew

So when you take the dodge action, you focus entirely on avoiding attacks Until the start of your next turn. Any attack roll made against you has disadvantage, right, okay, so you could have. Instead of attacking, you could have used dodge. Yeah, I wasn't gonna do that though. No, okay, but but don't forget, you've got the special, do you still, james? Is that still in effect, the Mage armor, or whatever? Yes how long does that last?

James

eight hours eight hours.

Andrew

yeah, wow, yeah, wow. So that puts you at like a 19.

James

Yes, ok, yeah, because that was the benefit on using it on Zanros Right, because they didn't use armor Right and and you get to utilize your dexterity as part of your armor class and you get a little glow about you.

Speaker 4

A glow up.

James

But you have armor.

Andrew

Sorry, so that bugbear does not hit you Right, Because again he got nailed with the Eldritch Blast and then slapped around by you. So they completely miss. Dal, you are up next.

Fable

I want to go after the one that they were going after.

Andrew

Yeah, that's basically the only one, unless you go in like he's kind of in the doorway, so he's really the only one that's.

Fable

I'm doing Toll the Dead. Can you do a Wisdom save for me.

Andrew

I can Nat 20.

Fable

No.

Andrew

Nat 20. Sorry, is that your turn? Yeah, iquium, you are up next.

James

I'm assuming, since Callie is behind me and it's only a five foot doorway.

Andrew

Actually. I thought you said Callie was in front of you.

Catherine

Callie was in front of you. She's in front.

James

Can Callie attack in the door.

Andrew

You didn't have Callie attack last time, did you? I didn't, no wait. How did you Eldritch? Oh wait, no, when did you Eldritch Blast?

James

You said he started with his Morningstar.

Andrew

Oh, that's right, so you did, and then I hit Eldritch Blast before we rolled initiative. That's right.

James

Yeah.

Andrew

So now it's you and Kali's right. So you did, that's right, okay, that's right, yeah. So now it's now it's you and Callie's turn.

James

So for me. Uh, I don't suppose a nine hits.

Andrew

A nine does not hit.

James

So that's for me.

Andrew

Callie has a 15. A 15 does not hit.

Zanros

Ouch.

Andrew

So that leaves Equium. So now we're up to the other three bugbears. So Iquium, because they're still in the room, they can't attack you in melee range, but they fortunately have some javelins at their disposal. Oh thank, God Lovely. So one of the bugbears is going to throw its javelin at you. That will be a nat 20.

Speaker 4

Oh, God, oh God, that will be a nat 20. Oh God.

James

That hits.

Andrew

Well played, well played.

James

That hits. Just want you to feel confident about your bugbears, that's all All right, oh, that's all All right.

Andrew

Oh wait, oops, equium, yes, seven points of piercing damage.

James

Ouch.

Andrew

Mind you, that's his only javelin, so Okay, thank you.

James

Um.

Andrew

However, since you already did so much damage, the next bugbear is going to throw its javelin At you as well.

James

Always go for the squishy.

Andrew

Does an 18 hit? Yes, okay, okay, that will be eight points of piercing damage.

Catherine

Is that 15? Yep.

Speaker 4

You got six right, you got six left.

Andrew

Seeing his counterparts both successfully hit you with their javelins. Oh, come on his counterparts. Both successfully hit you with their javelins. Oh come on Bugbear 3. He's gonna aim for Callie.

Fable

Not the dog Monster.

Andrew

Does a 13 hit Callie?

James

It does not.

Andrew

Okay, so the javelin goes whizzing by Callie and unfortunately I could never do that and finds its way straight to your heart, nat 20. Nat 20 on the rebound. How?

James

many points of damage 37 points of damage for you. I want to make sure you're dead.

Andrew

So that javelin goes whizzing by, callie, and you as everybody dodges out of the way of that javelin. Now, fortunately, those three do not have any more javelins, so all they have are their Morning Stars melee range weapons. That takes us back to the top of the order with Xanros 21. Certainly hits.

Catherine

Okay, I'm going in with the quarterstaff. Are they all still alive? Everyone is still alive, all right, so I'm going to take the one with the most hit points, like the least hit points at this point. Who has taken the most damage?

Andrew

Only one has taken damage. I'm going after that guy, the one standing in the door in front of you that spell I have.

Fable

It does more damage than ones that are already injured. If you want to go, for one that hasn't been well, can I get past that guy, though?

Andrew

no, right, you could probably crawl through its legs and get to the other three if you don't want to do that, just do it what if I somersault through his legs? You can do that.

Catherine

Somersault through his legs.

Andrew

Give me an acrobatics check.

Zanros

Oh shit 24.

Andrew

24. So as you're somersaulting, one of your feet just kind of slips out, kicks him in the nuts as you roll underneath him and he goes ah.

Catherine

Excellent.

Andrew

So now you are standing in a room with a passed out goblin and three angry bugbears with their morning stars.

Catherine

Okay, so I've rolled already and it definitely hit. That was a 21 or something like that yeah. Okay, so I'm gonna roll. Okay, so that's two that is six points of damage.

Andrew

Okay, is that all you want to do?

Catherine

Yes, Okay, I already used one of my key points. I don't want to use them all up front.

Andrew

So, then, the bugbear that you just somersaulted past is now facing Dal and is going to attack Dal.

Catherine

Okay, so that's the guy with damage.

Andrew

With the most damage.

Catherine

Yeah.

Andrew

Now two of them have damage, so this one's going to attack Dal. Does a 19 hit, yep.

Speaker 4

Okay.

Andrew

There we go, let's use that one. So that will be, with the Morningstar, 13 points of piercing damage.

Fable

I'm down.

Andrew

Oh shit, your cleric is unconscious.

Speaker 4

Mm-hmm.

Fable

Yeah, I'm at zero.

Andrew

Dal, you would have been up next, so you are out for the count, so Iquium.

James

Does giving Dal a potion of healing count?

Andrew

That would be your action.

James

That would be an action.

Andrew

Yeah, well, boy, I don't think giving the potion. I guess if you're administering the potion, yes, that would be an action.

James

But you're at zero, you're unconscious.

Fable

I'm yeah.

Andrew

And don't forget, you have Kali's attack as well.

James

I'll give Del one of my potions of healing Okay.

Fable

Two, that's two healing okay but I get more hit points on my next level up. Oh hell, my mom's going to look at kitchen furniture, so I'm going to use the little healing dice.

Andrew

That's right. That's what they're there for.

Fable

I kind of want to be a part of that.

James

She's already gone, I think.

Andrew

It's two, so that's six points. All right, so you're stable. You're more than stable. You've got six hit points now.

James

Okay, and I'll let Callie attack.

Andrew

Yes, I assume the one that's right up front. Yeah, ok, otherwise Kelly would have to go into the room past it.

Fable

All right, screw this. I'm using my what? Maybe one of my?

James

So that is a Twenty four to hit me. And she does.

Andrew

The one that Callie's attacking 26 plus 3.

James

8 points of damage to that Kill him Equium that is a creature.

Catherine

Finish him.

Andrew

Doesn't matter, doesn't matter, doesn't matter, doesn't matter. How would you like to do this?

James

I say she lunges forward after seeing Dal go down and then seeing me get hit with, you know, javelins. Callie lunges forward at the bugbear's neck and pounces on him, so he is prone and she rips his throat out.

Andrew

Excellent. So you've successfully killed the one bugbear. Any of the rest?

Zanros

of you want to rethink this situation.

Andrew

They don't.

Zanros

You're really stupid. They do not wish to rethink this You're just't.

Andrew

They're really stupid. They do not wish to rethink this. They're just stupid. They're real dumb. Since you are the only one in the room, you now have the ire of three bugbear on you.

James

Were there four bugbears there were four.

Andrew

There were four bugbears.

Catherine

And a passed out goblin. The first bugbear is going to a passed out goblin.

Andrew

Yeah, the first bugbear is going to completely miss you with its morning star Woo.

Catherine

Because you are so wee, I also can matrix around him, yep.

Fable

Woo, because you're just cool like that.

Andrew

Second bugbear is going to miss All three, all three. No, sweetie, I love you, but no, all three bugbears because you were still somersaulting. Yeah, so they were all trying to get a whack at you. Yeah, and I'm just too fast. You are too fast for them. You were able to dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge your way away from them.

James

Yep, okay, if you want, you can even have a dab, totally, you can even have a dab.

Andrew

Totally, do it. I'm just kidding. No, do it Now. Finish him with the dab. A little dab will do you. So, zanros, now that they've all taken their swings at you, you're up.

Catherine

Okay 24.

Andrew

Well, that'll hit. Which one are you going after? You going after the one that you already hit?

Catherine

yes and I'm smacking him with the quarterstaff okay quarterstaff, of course Six damage.

Andrew

Six damage yes, right on.

Zanros

Okay, all right.

Andrew

Dow.

Catherine

Back up, back up.

Andrew

Back up.

Fable

Yes, okay.

Andrew

Now what are you doing? So you're still in the hallway.

James

Heal myself.

Andrew

You're in the hallway. Before you get into this little room, in your way is a dead bugbear. Okay, you need to go into the room If you want to. If you have a ranged spell, that's fine. I'm going to do a ranged spell.

Fable

Right on.

Andrew

Which ranged spell are you going to do?

Fable

Guiding bolt. Say a prayer here. Oh my god, 25 to hit. Nice Wait, how did you get it? Say a prayer here. Oh my god, 25 to hit.

Andrew

Nice. Wait, how did you get it? Is that a nat 20?

Fable

Yes.

Andrew

You got a nat 20?.

Fable

Yes.

Andrew

So you get to double the damage.

Catherine

Oh, I didn't know that. Is that just on spells?

James

or is that on everything?

Andrew

Critical hit Critical hit is, and that's normally a 4d6. That's 8d6 damage.

Fable

Can I go for the one that has had no damage yet?

Andrew

You can definitely go for one of the ones that's had no damage yet Do you need some d6?.

Fable

I'm just going to do it manually. I mean not digitally, because that is too much.

Catherine

Oh, okay, you can do 8d6. We have a bunch too, but then I have to count it.

Andrew

We could lend you a bunch of D6s.

James

We'll help you count it. How satisfying would it be if you rolled it for you, like for me it would be immensely. Here I have four D6s, okay.

Andrew

Here's another four D6s right here. Just give them back to me, that ask, stealing them. 8d6 damage. This is massive.

Fable

Just do them all.

Zanros

Do it.

Catherine

That was satisfying 5, 6, 7.

Fable

Oh wait, this was satisfying. Five, six, seven. Oh wait, this is 10 over here.

Catherine

I'm counting 24.

Fable

So this is 16, 17, 18, 19, 20.

Andrew

Yeah, 24. Dal yeah, how would you like to do this?

Fable

Uh, I used the diagram, this. I did write down how I do most of the spells, but that was a while ago, Of course I didn't. Oh yeah, okay, ooh, those are heavy. So a bolt of blinding blue flashes and hits him right in the chest. He's down.

Andrew

And what kind of damage is that? Is that radiant damage? That's radiant damage, yes. So just all of this, this, this bolt of was blue light, yes, just goes, gets like absorbed into this bugbear's chest and just very, very similar to how the doctor regenerates. Same kind of thing. All this energy is just too much for the body to contain and this blue light just comes flashing out of just every part of this bugbear's body and just blasts everything out of the way and the bugbear completely disappears. Yay.

Zanros

The rest of you want to rethink this now.

Andrew

They do not.

Fable

Yeah, just think. From the dark hallway you only see their eyes. My God, they're stupid.

Andrew

They are not intelligent beings, and that? Just think of the dark hallway. You only see their eyes. My God, they're stupid. They are not intelligent beings.

Catherine

And that goblin's still passed out.

Fable

Yes, would you say that the hallway is dark, decidedly.

Andrew

The hallway's dark.

Fable

Okay, fun, that's a fun. Last thing to see, just a pair of glowing eyes as they send lightning at you.

Andrew

Yes, absolutely Iquium.

James

Suck it sound like they got you. Yes, absolutely equium you, yeah, equium you and callie are are up.

Andrew

Um, I'm gonna use elder's blast. Okay, on which one bread and butter? Um, so there's one that, there's one who is untouched has is untouched, and there's one that's definitely taken some damage but is still standing like Elton John he's still standing because they're near Zanros and I'm gonna hit the ones that's already been hit.

James

okay, um, which would you rather? Okay, which would you rather? Which would Zanros rather? What Do I go for?

Catherine

the untouched one, I don't know if we should just take the one that's already damaged out or if we should damage them both.

James

Well, what's your damage on the Eldritch Blast?

Andrew

So 14, 18 to hit and then 1d10, right 1d10, yes, so I will just give you. You want an insight check?

James

Sure 13.

Andrew

You know that, no matter what you do, both will still be standing. Unless it's a critical hit again, they're most likely both going to be standing. I rolled an 18. Yeah.

James

I rolled 14 plus 4. 18.

Andrew

18 will hit.

James

So D10 is five points of damage.

Andrew

Okay, so now you got Callie's turn. Oh, callie's turn, so Are you trying to get DD in front of the mic.

James

I am. That's a 22 to hit.

Andrew

A 22 will hit.

James

And 2d6 plus 3.

Fable

Oh, I got it.

James

Is.

Catherine

Didi podcasting.

Fable

Oh, Didi is totally podcasting, oh my gosh Ten points of damage.

Andrew

Ten points of damage, james.

Catherine

Kill the bugbear.

Andrew

How would you like to kill this bugbear In the dead of night?

James

A flashing light, neax came down. A killing sound killed the bugbear. Callie jumps again at this bugbear and another neck shot knocks him down, prone.

Zanros

Excellent Rips his throat out. Hey dummy, Last bugbear standing.

Speaker 4

You want to rethink?

James

this they are not reasonable creatures. No.

Andrew

I know I like to give them an opportunity, Because you said your AC is what 19 right now Yep, so that bugbear is going to completely miss you.

Zanros

Oh, so that's a no, then Guess you're still trying Exactly. Grrr. Oh, you're so scary, I'm so intimidated.

James

I bet you are, you're up, zanros. Okay, come on, give him the backhand, the furry blows oh no Eleven, oh no 11.

Andrew

Does not hit.

Catherine

No, should I do the furry blows?

Andrew

Furry blows. Is that because you're holding DD?

Catherine

Yes, furry blows. Yeah, I guess let's do the furry blows.

Andrew

Furry blows. I don't know if you can do this with DD, but you can go.

James

Let's do the furry blows, furry blows.

Andrew

I don't know if you can do this with DD, but you can go.

Catherine

That was so good. What do I got? 12 plus 6, 18.

Andrew

18 does hit.

Catherine

All right, so I'm going to furiously blow this guy. What Excuse me?

Andrew

Oh, hello, this, this Hello. That took a turn.

Zanros

It took a turn. That escalated very quickly.

Andrew

Six. Well, you are at that height, so oh my God, Now there's more alliteration.

James

Blown bugbears at the Bimbo Bubble B&B.

Andrew

Get blown at the Bimbo Bubble B&B oh my god, that's got to get ended.

Catherine

Ow, ow, ow, ow. No. My second action is only what is that? A three, a nine?

Andrew

Nine does not hit.

Catherine

Okay.

Andrew

Was that the first flurry or the second flurry?

Catherine

That was the second flurry, or the second flurry that? Was the second flurry. Was it that I just rolled? Yeah, because I hit him on the first flurry.

Andrew

Did you? What did you hit him with on the first flurry?

Catherine

With the flurry. Of that was when I said I'm going to furiously blow him.

Andrew

Yes, but what was the damage? Did you hit him the first time? It was six yes, I did. What was the attack roll? Nineteen, I did. What was the attack roll?

Catherine

19, I think.

Andrew

I thought that was your quarterstaff, no.

Catherine

I missed the quarterstaff.

Andrew

So you rolled a 19. What was the damage? Six, six, okay 74. Right wrong 32.

Catherine

18. What do we need? 34 counts, ah, ah, ah, exactly Nice.

Andrew

Dal, you are up. Okay, there's one bugbear left. It has taken damage.

Catherine

I think you should give it some more damage.

Fable

Yeah, I think I should. Should I do Guiding Bolt again, because I'm at six health and I don't want to go in there?

Andrew

That's up to you.

Catherine

I like that, just the teeny, tiny monkeys in the room.

James

I say you go for it. Okay, do not. Yeah, don't go in there.

Andrew

Well, Callie is in there now too. Oh, okay, Because Callie attacked the other one.

Fable

We're going to do this again and it's not going to be as cool. Maybe Critical hit on a show? Yeah, no, it doesn't hit, it's a nine.

Andrew

Nope, that does not hit Damn. So then Equium, you and Callie are up.

James

Okay, 13.

Andrew

Does not hit.

James

Wasn't Eldritch Blast, but 13 does not hit. 13 does not hit 13 does not hit. Callie 19 19 does hit, and that's 2, 11 points and 11 points and has to make a DC 13 strength saving throw or be knocked prone because he's a creature knocked prone beautiful and I told you 11 damage.

Andrew

Yes, you told me 11 damage. So when I am prone, what do I have to do to? Well, that was Wait, that was. That was Kali, right? Yes, so that was Kali. So do I have to use my action to stand up? Is that what it is? You have to use your action. I can never remember.

James

Let's see, I'm going to look it up here.

Andrew

I'm going to look it up as well.

James

Prone creature has disadvantage. On attack rolls An attack roll against the prone creature has advantage if the attacker is within five feet feet so he can attack but has disadvantage or can use his action to stand ending the condition of, but then that's his, that's his.

Andrew

I don't want to, I don't want to give you advantage on attacks. I mean, I'm going to use, so this creature, because he's the next one up, so he's going to use his action to rise and stand back up. Okay, and now it goes back to Zanros. Yes, woo-hoo.

James

And then it's automatically assumed, since he's used that action, that the condition of being prone has ended. There is no advantage on the rolls.

Andrew

Yep 25. That definitely hits. Okay, I have out my quarterstaff again. Five. This bugbear is relentless and still standing. Okay, is that your turn?

Catherine

That is my turn.

Andrew

Dow. Yes, what would you like to do?

Fable

I'm just going to try the guiding bolt again.

Catherine

I'm just going to check in on this bugbear real quick.

Andrew

Is that your last spell slot? Then Gosh, oh wait, no, I thought.

Fable

No, it is.

Andrew

Because you used guiding bolt once. I thought no, it is Because you used Guiding Bolt once. I failed last time. Well, you used Guiding Bolt twice, right? Yeah, because I failed. Oh, you didn't use the healing spell before, so you've got one spell slot left. Yeah, yeah, okay, so you're going to use Guiding Bolt again.

Catherine

Can I just check in on this bugbear one last time.

Speaker 4

Buddy you're looking kind of rough.

Zanros

You sure you want to do this you could be dead or you could have a new job.

Fable

Long live spider oh fine, idiot I'm going to do toll the dead You're going to do toll the dead. Yeah, okay.

James

Oh, because it's a cantrip yeah. Wisdom save, I want to have at least one spell slot.

Fable

Okay, oh, because it's a cantrip, yeah.

Andrew

Nice Wisdom, save That'll be. That'll be a two.

Fable

I like how you have to check that Okay.

Andrew

I want to see if I had any bonuses, right.

James

Do I got?

Speaker 4

anything, anything, anything at all.

Fable

That'll be 11.

Andrew

Points of damage.

Fable

Yes.

Andrew

So how would you like to finish off this last bugbear?

Fable

last bugbear.

Speaker 4

I don't know. What does Toll the Dead do? What does?

Fable

Toll the Dead, do it just you point at one creature and the sound of a I've got the, I only know it. Uh. You point at one creature and the sound of a Delirious bell fills the air around it for a moment and then it takes the product damage.

Speaker 4

Ooh.

Catherine

So then I think you should wait for the bugbear to like Cover his ears because the sound is so awful, and then, as he takes the damage, I think you should just walk into the room and, with one finger, just knock him over.

Fable

Yeah, I like that. I'm going to do it.

Andrew

Just like that, and that is how you've dispatched the four bugbears, honestly done.

Zanros

I'm going to go try to wake up this goblin.

James

It's time up.

Zanros

Do we need to? He might just want to work here.

James

Or the bigger question I had, since he passed out, was is he already one of our goblins?

Zanros

Yeah or like. Is he a random goblin prisoner? Does he know Vincent or I?

Speaker 4

don't know.

Catherine

Yeah, does he know, Vincent, or and that way I don't think it necessarily Michael.

Zanros

Creed, oscar, stanley, toby or Nardog.

James

I love the fact that you have all the names.

Zanros

I absolutely wrote that down. I just freaking love that it's the names.

James

I absolutely wrote that down. I just freaking love that. It's amazing.

Zanros

I'm going to have to do so much HR paperwork. It's helpful.

Andrew

Okay, so you revive this goblin? Yes, he's like. Oh, thank God, I walked into this place. My wagon broke down. I'm just trying to find parts to fix it. There's these bugbears.

James

This place is nuts. He's lying to us. Well, friend, good news is, the bugbears are dead. Insight check.

Zanros

Uh-oh, my friend here doesn't trust you.

Andrew

Go ahead. That was great, wait, wait.

James

Oh, I get plus two seven.

Andrew

He does not appear to be lying to you All right, wait, let me do one too.

Fable

Insight sight.

Catherine

Twelve.

James

Let me do one.

Fable

Damn. Well, that's a ten.

James

Theo Pimple.

Andrew

This goblin appears to be telling you the truth. He's kind of hapless. He truly did just wander in here. Listen, friend.

Zanros

I got a couple of questions for you, sure. Are you looking for a job.

Andrew

You know, I'm always looking for a way to help my family. What do you have in mind?

Zanros

I'm turning this place into a bed and breakfast. This shithole.

Andrew

Okay, roll for initiative and he passes out again.

Catherine

I kick him to wake him back up. He just called my B&B a shithole.

Andrew

He didn't call your B&B a shithole. He called the ruins of the Tresendor Manor a shithole.

Catherine

That's my B&B.

Andrew

Which it is.

Catherine

That is, the bones of my B&B.

Andrew

It's got good bones, but it looks like a shit hole. Wow, you're gonna make it beautiful.

Catherine

I nudge him gently with my foot.

Andrew

He comes back to.

Zanros

Let's try this again. Once we put in some elbow grease, this is going to be a lovely bed, and breakfast.

Andrew

I'm sure it will be. I'd be. I'm very handy.

Catherine

Okay.

Andrew

So it's better than my brother. He's handsy, but I'm just handy.

Zanros

Do you? How do you get along with other goblins? Because I have a number of them who are going to be working here a number of them who are going to be working here.

Andrew

You know these Kragmaw goblins. They keep trying to convince me to join them, but I'm just trying to mind my own business.

Zanros

I've got seven goblins who are committed to working in this place in a variety of roles, but I do not have a handyman.

Andrew

If you, need a handyman, I am your goblin.

Zanros

And what's your name, friend? My name, yeah, droop, droop, that's a nice name Droop.

Andrew

Thank you.

Zanros

Okay, well, so we have a lot of stuff we have to do. We have not finished checking all the rooms in this place, because there's a lot of squatters in here and even though this is my property, they seem to think it's theirs. So we gotta go check out a couple more rooms. Do you want to help us move some bodies or do you just want to like go hang out in like the break room for now?

Andrew

I mean, I'm happy to help you move bodies. If you need help, oh great.

Zanros

Maybe while we go check out the last couple of rooms. Hey, theo Bing, if I ask you to help Droop move some bodies, are you going to try to take off?

Catherine

No, why would? I do that I'd like an insight check on Theo oh Six.

Fable

Can I do an?

Andrew

insight check insight Theo's not going anywhere.

Zanros

Theo, would you and droop here move oh, what's his name? Glass glass door glass glass, glass jaw, glass staff. That's right. Could you move glassstaff's body and then, if you're able to get these bugbears out of here, just stack them in the back. We'll set them on fire or something later.

Andrew

Well, you know, there's that big crevasse you could just toss them in there. Do you think that they'd smell?

Zanros

if we pitch them into the crevasse.

Andrew

You could throw them in there.

James

I need a drink. There might be something in the crevasse that could dispose of them. We don't know yet.

Zanros

I just want to make sure that if they're down in the crevasse and the bodies are rotting, that my guests are not going to be bothered by the stench.

Andrew

You leave that to us.

Zanros

All right.

Andrew

Whatever is easiest, as long as it's not going to bother my guests. I don't want a kid finding a skull.

Zanros

I don't want guests complaining about an odor.

Andrew

Don't you worry about a thing.

James

Okay. So you know, maybe delay the crevasse experience trip, you know, until we're sure.

Zanros

Yeah, like we won't be zip lining over the crevasse.

James

No out or bound classes in the crevasse for a week.

Zanros

We won't be what is it? When you bounce down the side of a building Repelling yes no repelling into the crevasse, no bungee jumping.

Fable

Nope, no bungee jumping.

James

Got it. I am going to use a potion of healing.

Andrew

Okay.

Catherine

Magician heal thyself.

Andrew

Make sure anyone that's used potions of healing make sure you remove those from your inventory.

James

Yes, I removed the one that I gave Dal.

Andrew

Excellent. They are liquid core potion bottles.

Catherine

Yes, I'm sure that glitter would be great for drinking.

Andrew

Totally. It's magical, it's magic glitter, yeah. So Equium is healing himself.

Catherine

Dal, what are you and Zanros doing? Gossiping?

Andrew

gossiping. What are you gossiping about? What's the hot goss?

James

what's the tea you're spilling?

Zanros

come on bugbears are actually stupider than I had heard. I have to agree with you like goblins, have turned out to be much more appealing than bugbears. I don't why do they call them bugbears. They don't even look like bears.

Andrew

They're very feral. That's the problem with bugbears. It's not.

Zanros

But they're just big and ugly Like an owlbear is cute.

Andrew

Owlbe bears are cute. A bug bear is gross. What luxury.

James

You know what's really cute Dire wolves.

Andrew

Dire wolves.

Zanros

Oh, I mean really dire wolves are adorable obviously Callie's a good girl.

Andrew

Who doesn't love a dire wolf?

Zanros

All the people whose throats she whipped out. Fair, that's fair, you got me there.

Andrew

All the people whose throats she ripped out Fair, that's fair, that is fair, yep, yep, you got me there. Can't argue with that point.

James

All the people whose throats she ripped out.

Catherine

Exactly Not. Fans, not big direwolf fans, just saying Not really into it.

James

Especially singers are not into.

Andrew

Callie yes.

James

People with allergies. Anybody with upper respiratory tract infections.

Speaker 4

Yeah.

Andrew

So what would you like to do next?

Catherine

Okay, the last thing we have to explore is the crevasse, right, yeah, so like, while we go to check out the crevasse, is our Theo pimple and Droop just dragging bodies to it.

Andrew

Don't you worry about them, they're doing their thing.

Catherine

Okay, I guess we're gonna go check out the crevasse right? Alright, let's go.

Andrew

So you're going, you're heading up the stairs. I hope, I hope. To this crevasse area, equium. You start to hear this voice in your head.

Catherine

Not that weird whispery voice again.

Andrew

Again.

Catherine

Oh boy.

Andrew

Speaking to you, calling out to you I know, I can't hear it Calling my name. No, no, no, or just whispers Like whispering, you feel it, trying to understand and communicate.

Catherine

It's creeping me out.

Andrew

Give me a perception. Check equium.

James

Fifteen, fifteen, 15 15, 15. So there's that so as you, goodbye on the Ouija board again. So there's that rug and I have a Roomba and it's summoned.

Andrew

So as you, as you come up those stairs, iquium, you notice there's that one column right there holding up the ceiling.

James

Yes.

Andrew

From behind the column you see this singular glowing eye and all you see is blink, blink as it locks onto your eyes.

James

That's not creepy. Uh, uh, uh-huh. Um Shit, I cast Mage Hand.

Andrew

Okay, and what will your Mage Hand do?

James

I want to see what it does if I use the Mage Hand just to wave in front of the eye.

Andrew

Well, is the Mage Hand going out toward the eye?

James

Yeah, towards the eye but like so, I know that it's locked on me. I want to see that If I interrupt its field of vision, what will it do? Is what I'm trying to do.

Andrew

So it as as this mage hand moves closer toward the eye, you just see the eye kind of retreat back behind the column.

James

Like is it on the column or in the column, or a little bit of both?

Andrew

Give me a perception, check or investigation. Whichever one you want to do, whichever one is better for you.

James

Nine.

Andrew

No, it doesn't. It appears to be something hiding behind the column.

James

And if I walk around the column, is it always looking from behind it?

Andrew

Are you going to walk toward the column? Yeah, you're going to walk toward the column.

Fable

Sure, do it, do it, do it.

Andrew

I'm one of the voices now Do it, just do it, just do it so as you get nearer to the column, the voices, the whispering in your head gets louder and louder, and as you come around the side of the column, you come face to face with a creature that you've only read about in books it is a nothic am I allowed to google?

Fable

you can?

Andrew

see what the nofick.

James

Looks like it's just misunderstood does it look like it's trying to communicate with me, or if it's just being creepy it, it, it is trying to, so so give me. Oh yes I can see him now yes telekinetically. I ask him what he wants. What does he see?

Andrew

He recognizes All you hear clearly through this whispering is Friend or foe.

James

Friend. Well, he hasn't attacked me, so I will say I will ask him are the people that were here your friends or foes?

Speaker 4

I wish to be a friend.

Andrew

Can Dal and I see him or just no, you can't because he's still hiding behind the column. So from where you're standing you can maybe see Iquium, kind of to the side, like to the side and behind the column, but the column is blocking your view of the Nothic.

Zanros

Iquium, what are you talking to?

James

Sing a little song travel along side by side.

Speaker 4

Yeah you're hilarious, you don't hear that no, no.

Andrew

So, in all this whispering, the next word you can understand is hungry.

Fable

Oh, feed him the bugbears.

Catherine

Oh, yeah, yeah what does he like to?

Fable

eat.

James

I tell Theo and the goblin to bring the bugbear to me.

Andrew

Mm-hmm, theo and the goblin to bring the bugbear to me, mm-hmm. So Theo and Droop, droop, droop, droop the goblin, droop the goblin and Theo Pimble Drag one of the bugbears up toward you. They're a little taken aback because they come around the corner. They're like holy shit, they see this thing. They're a little taken aback because they come around the corner and they're like holy shit, they see this thing. They've heard the stories of this thing, but they've never seen it face to face. So they kind of drop the body and run.

Andrew

And I just go ooh. And so you see the Nothic just start to devour the. Now the two of you are able to see this as well. Oh, okay, Because the bugbear is in between you and Iquium. So the Nothic comes out and starts devouring this bugbear. What the hell is this?

Zanros

now.

James

I'm making a new friend here. What?

Zanros

is it?

James

I tell Theo and Droop to go get me another bugbear.

Andrew

Alright, so Theo and Theo and Droop go down, go back down the stairs into the room where the bugbears were and they drag up another body and Aquium.

Zanros

What is that thing?

Andrew

Drop it on the pile.

James

So I start, I ask it, do I ask it? Does it tell me that it's a no thick or just that I've heard about?

Andrew

you've heard stories of them and what do I know of them?

Andrew

So you know that you, you really know that again, they only speak telepathically. They are, they are what used to be mind flayers. So these are mind flayers that are turned, turned into no fix. They have a fringe of tentacles beneath their single eye, and so this, this mind flip, or not? This mind, this no thick, continues to just devour, devour these two bug bears that you have provided to it. And in the midst of eating these, he looks back up at you with this one glowing eye. And again, you're only able to make out single words. Here and there, all you hear is friend.

Andrew

As it looks to me as it looks to you, okay friend, what can you tell me of this place? It's really not able to.

James

It's just singular words just singular words.

Andrew

So, again, you hear all this whisperings and the only word you're able to make out is home like this is it's home is this your home or are you looking for?

Fable

home, home. I think he found another B&B worker.

Catherine

This one I'm employing for when people don't pay their tab.

Andrew

Not a bad idea.

Catherine

Howie snacks.

James

Well, I mean it is looking at me as, as a friend.

Andrew

It does not perceive you to be an enemy At least, so that's a good thing.

James

Were, you trapped here.

Zanros

No Cool, could you leave?

Speaker 4

To you.

James

What master do you serve? None, oh, okay. Did any of the red brands hurt you? I mean, you are my friend, so Food, you just like them for food, food, okay, I'll have Theo and Drew bring all the other bugbears.

Catherine

You might as well feed them glass staff too.

James

Yeah, but if we want to take the reward for glass staff, or do we want? Here's the thing With glass staff. I feel like if we keep his death secret, then we could impersonate glass Staff if we needed to.

Catherine

That's true.

James

So that would be a reason to.

Andrew

What was that?

James

I'm sorry, I just feel like if we don't tell anybody, like if there's no proof of Glass Staff's death, then we can use his, we can impersonate him Me too.

Andrew

So you're going to be the new Dread Pirate Roberts. Mm-hmm.

Catherine

Yes, good night. Wesley.

Speaker 4

Did well today.

James

I'll probably kill you in the morning. Inconceivable.

Andrew

You're the new Glass Staff. Congratulations. Do not think that word means what you think.

James

Congratulations, I will give you this aside really quick. And it's the actor who plays Vincini. I saw him on the corner of 6th Avenue and Houston Street. My windows were open and I yelled inconceivable. And he waved and he smiled.

Catherine

I would imagine Wallace Shawn is always happy when people recognize him, he just seems sweet. He was very nice.

James

He was just a super big smile.

Andrew

That's great.

Catherine

Unlike a certain Broadway actor I saw who tried to pull his hoodie tighter around his face so people wouldn't recognize him.

Zanros

Nathan Lane.

James

What do I know of Nothic's history? Can I do a history check of my knowledge?

Andrew

You can do a history check on.

Catherine

Like their origin, like you're saying he's, so that's a we want his origin story.

James

well, like where do they like, more or less, where do they come from, or how are they made, or like he's hungry, obviously, probably not a great thing.

Andrew

So you're doing a history check.

James

Yeah, and I got a Sorry. Sorry, I don't get anything. Twelve Twelve.

Andrew

Okay, so you know from your studies that noethics are monstrous creatures terrible talons, the single large eye. When driven to violence, they use their horrific gaze to rot the flesh off of the enemy's bones.

Zanros

That's great.

Andrew

Rather than gaining the godlike supremacy they crave, some wizards who devote their lives to unearthing arcane secrets are reduced to creeping, tormented monsters by a dark curse left behind by Vecna. Obviously, you're familiar with Vecna, a powerful lich who, in some worlds, has transcended his undead existence to become a god of secrets. Nothix retain no awareness of their former selves, skulking amid the shadows and haunting places rich in magical knowledge, drawn by memories and impulses they can't quite understand. Nothics possess a strange magical insight that allows them to extract knowledge from other creatures. This grants them unique understanding of secret and forbidden lore, which they share for a price.

Andrew

A Nothic covets magic, magic items, greedily accepting such gifts from creatures that seek out its knowledge. Nothics are notorious for infiltrating arcane academies and other places rich in magical learning. They are driven by the vague knowledge that there exists a method to reverse their condition. This isn't a clear sense of, but rather an obsessive tug at the end of their mind. Some Nothics are clever enough to realize that this is merely a part of the strange lesson for their folly a false hope to drive them to seek out more arcane secrets. Nothic.

Andrew

So, no thick.

James

Very possibly, very possibly.

Andrew

Yes.

Speaker 4

Oh.

James

Let's get our cane out, and I'm wondering if the jars that I have from blast staff's laboratory or if they're used in the spell.

Speaker 4

Well, we could. Yeah, I asked.

James

I asked him um um dragon chain do you know where the forge of spells is?

Andrew

The Gnothic doesn't know where the forge of he's able to communicate. He doesn't know where it is, but he was in search of it.

James

it okay but never, never found it have pimble and droop just made me think that they could have their own little shop. Sorry, mailman, passed by Mailman, he was wearing a pith helmet.

Catherine

That's fantastic. It's a dangerous job.

Andrew

Just in case of a loss or after jumps out from it.

James

Clever girl. So this is what my thought is. My thought is if he seeks out arcane knowledge or has arcane knowledge, yes. And they couldn't see him. But I could, but they can now, just because it was avoiding yes, correct but it wasn't like invisible or just visible, no, it was not invisible or visible to you.

James

You're the only one that can speak to it because, because of your telepathic abilities, yeah, I totally want to be a threat, but, yeah, I told him I'd be a threat. But what does he look for? I ask what do you seek other than food? Like, obviously we've provided the four bugbears, as he's devouring them, right, Right, as he's devouring them.

Speaker 4

Right.

James

What can you show us? Where can you guide us to Do you know?

Catherine

where there's magical knowledge.

Andrew

Could you leave my B&B B&B. The Nothic really isn't aware necessarily of any magical knowledge, but he was. The Nothic was aware of One of the. So you rolled a history check, right, so give me an arcana check. Oh, okay, a combination of history and arcana 18. So he conveys to you in some way that 18. So he conveys to you in some way.

James

That Should have been 20, but 18.

Andrew

That's fine. He conveys to you again, single, just broken phrases, that Glasstaff, in exchange for guarding the manor, glasstaff was working on a way to reverse the effects that have afflicted the Nothic.

Catherine

I wouldn't mention we killed him then.

Fable

I was going to say Well, glasstaff was unsuccessful.

Andrew

It wasn't his sole goal, so it wasn't Glasstaff's.

James

He could have been just telling him that.

Andrew

Right Glasstaff said in exchange for guarding it. You know, I'm a master of the arcane arts, I will find a way to reverse this. It was just a bargain they struck, but he never successfully.

James

And he was just guarding the manor.

Andrew

He was just guarding the manor. Okay, excellent security, by the way.

James

So yeah, you have a built-in security guard.

Catherine

As long as he promises not to eat any of the guests.

Andrew

As long as you keep it, fed Him it. I don't know. I don't know the Nothic's pronouns.

Catherine

Does it have a name?

James

Yeah, what's its name?

Andrew

Sarnak. Sarnak, the nothic sarnak are there, other are there other caves or caverns down here, he tells you no, there, this is, this is the only this is the only this is it, the only. This is it. This crevasse kind of turns into a, and you can kind of see it from here. Yeah, you see, there's a tunnel toward the south, so the crevasse just kind of peters out right here into into a tunnel that leads out to darkness.

James

You can't see what's out there, so have you been in any? Is that a passage beyond? Does that leave here? Where does it lead to? Can you tell us?

Andrew

Forest. It goes into the forest, anyone, anyone else got anything.

Catherine

Yeah, I want to make sure he's not going to eat the people that come to the B&B.

Andrew

Again, as long as you keep the Nothic, the Nothic will not Equium can tell you. The Nothic stays down, the Nothic prefers the dark. So the Nothic's not going to come upstairs and attack anybody as long as you keep the nothic fed.

Catherine

What does the nothic like to eat? Does it have to be people? Does it have to be mine?

Andrew

Could be animals. Any type of flesh.

Catherine

Could I feed it leftovers from whatever I'm feeding the B&B?

Andrew

Sure, sure you could.

Catherine

Okay.

James

So my thought is this it's very much a carnivore. Okay.

Andrew

Yes.

James

You and I are friends and I want to help you as Glass Staff. But his Red Brands have attacked people. They've been hurting the people of the town. I want you to be safe. I want you to live where you want to live and I'll help you find the path. If it is within my power and I can, I can find it. I will gladly find tomes and research and what have you and in the meantime keep you fed with the bones of my enemies if that's acceptable to you.

James

Yes, so, friend, these are my friends. They're now your friends as well, but those red brands that come through here, not so much.

Zanros

So food, yeah, I get it, don't eat the old pimble though, yeah, he's not my favorite person, but he's alright.

Speaker 4

Food yeah, I get it, don't eat the old pimble though?

James

Yeah, he's not my favorite person, but he's all right. Yeah, we're going to have to change the clothes after this.

Andrew

Yeah, yeah, for sure For sure, let's be clear.

Zanros

You said his name is Sarnak.

James

Sarnak, yeah, okay.

Zanros

Sarnak. Let's just be clear If they come through in a red cape food, otherwise not food If they look like a guest, not food.

James

How about we just bring you the food, yeah, or we tell you where the food is, or you guard, just like you guard now Food.

Speaker 4

Food, I got it.

James

How many? Have they been able to bring the other bugbears now?

Andrew

Yeah, there's just a pile. Well, two of the bugbears have already been eaten. Okay, so the other two bugbears are currently. He's a little full. Sarnak's a little full right now. Yeah, so Sarnak needs to pace himself. The tryptophan in bugbears is like really high, so Sarnak may need a nap after the first two bugbears did we leave a bunch of dead red brands?

Catherine

yeah, the dead brands, so we can feed them sure you certainly can this is helping me clean things up. This is kind of perfect actually. Sarnak, the Sarlacc.

Andrew

This is not the.

Catherine

Sarlacc oh sorry.

Andrew

But you could basically have Theo and Droop, just kind of tend to the Nothic and just keep tossing at bodies.

Catherine

Should we? Can we call them in and explain what's going on? Sure, so they're aware. Sure, sure, okay.

Zanros

Theo.

Andrew

Yeah.

Speaker 4

Could you and?

Zanros

Drup, come here for a sec. Sure, thank you. What's up? Okay, this guy, I know you're like, not, really that. Yeah, okay so. This is Sarnak. Sarnak is friend, okay so?

Andrew

this is Sarnak. Sarnak is friend.

Zanros

Okay, we're going to have to keep him in dead bodies, animal carcasses, whatever.

Speaker 4

If we feed him.

Zanros

He doesn't eat us. Do me a favor, take off your red cloak. Sure, because he's going to eat a red brand if he sees a red brand.

Andrew

He throws off the cloak so fast.

Zanros

Okay, so down in that little area where we found Mirna and the kids, yeah, can you go grab those bodies and just chuck them over here for Sarnak.

Andrew

Sure.

Zanros

And then could Troop? There's a woman and her kids hanging out in the break room. Yeah, could you let them know that it's safe to come out now? Sure, and they can go home, okay. Okay, everybody cool with that?

James

Yep.

Zanros

All right.

Andrew

Excellent, solid plan, all right. So the good news is at this point that you have completely cleared out all the red brands and glass staff out of Trescender Manor, so it is now yours for the taking, plus one Nothic. So I find a piece of wood.

Zanros

Yes, and I go back in the room where we killed all those bugbears.

Andrew

Yes.

Zanros

And I dip my finger in the blood.

Andrew

Ooh.

Zanros

And I write, future home of the Bumble Bumble B&B on the piece of wood.

Andrew

In blood.

Zanros

Bugbear blood Bugbear blood.

Andrew

I don't have a.

Zanros

Sharpie Holy cow.

James

Wow and I put that on the front door and you said I was dark for taking off Glass Taff's head and dropping it in the room Right. And then I grab a second piece of wood.

Speaker 4

Yes, and I go back in.

Zanros

Yes and I get some more blood. Red brands need not apply.

Andrew

Okay.

Zanros

Okay.

Andrew

Excellent.

James

Under new management.

Andrew

Under new management.

Zanros

Small but mighty.

Andrew

Yes, so what would you like to do? Would you like, now that everything I Now that everything You've made your way through the entire underbelly of Tresendor Manor, here, would you want to head back to town? What do you want to do?

Catherine

We did send a bunch of Redbrands to the tavern.

Andrew

You did yeah.

James

So that hasn't been that long now. So what I'm thinking is we move on, go back to the town, let the red brands come up here and let Sarnak take care of them.

Andrew

I like that Okay.

James

I mean now he knows that red brands are off. You know like.

Andrew

Right right, right right.

James

Anybody with a red cape Not looking so good.

Andrew

Yeah, okay, sounds like a solid plan.

James

So here's my question.

Andrew

Yes.

James

I so this is just a cavern that leads. So here's my question yes, I so this is just a cavern that leads.

Andrew

He says leads to trees that tunnel, yeah, yeah, that tunnel leads out to the forest leads out to the forest correct.

James

I don't know, should we go that way?

Fable

I don't see why not curious about that passage to the east. What do you want to leave the?

Andrew

manor, or what do you want to do?

James

Well, we've we've pretty much clear. You said we've pretty much cleared it up. Yeah, I think we should leave. So, yeah, I think yeah, but is it worth like looking down there and seeing if that's a passage?

Fable

to another? Yeah, because it kind of leads to nowhere.

James

Yeah, sure.

Andrew

So we're going to go down that passage.

James

That passageway.

Andrew

East.

James

South. Well, south is the tunnel that goes out to the tree. Well, south is the tunnel that goes out to the tree yes but if we go east down that passage, that seems to lead in a dead end. Yes, I want to see if it leads into a dead end or if it's a secret passage okay that's all.

Catherine

I just want to investigate that it's just going to take us back out to the cistern so you're going down that hall.

Andrew

I need to search that cistern again you come up to just a blank wall. Give me an investigation check 17. Oh investigation.

James

No, I don't get it, it's 17.

Andrew

So again you notice a very similar pattern to the previous hidden door here on this wall. Yes, straight check, what's that?

James

I'm going to push against it.

Andrew

Give me a strength, give me an athletics track.

James

Oh, Nat 20. 17.

Andrew

This one amazingly gives way very, very easily for you. This one they like WD-40, this thing, it just swung.

James

It's tipped up.

Andrew

This one's really well maintained and the door pushes wide open and you walk out back into the first room you entered. You see the cistern again and everything there and you see the door up the stairs where you entered the Trescender Manor.

James

So Theo and Droop are getting bodies and whatnot.

Andrew

Yep.

Catherine

They're helping clean up and they're also getting Myrna and the kids out.

Andrew

Yes.

James

So do we go back to town or do you want to go out the tunnel into the trees? Because I forget what that looks like around Trescender Manor.

Catherine

If we go back to town, what are we doing?

James

I don't know that we have to go back to town.

Andrew

Right, what are your next steps?

James

I mean, I think I think we go explore the passage and go out through the trees. I just wanted to see if it was a secret door, that's.

Andrew

Got it.

Catherine

Okay, you want to go out through the trees? Go out the back way, yeah why not?

Andrew

Okay, all right, so you head down the tunnel and you're going to wait another month to figure out what happens.

Andrew

Bum, bum happens Until next time and we will leave it at that. But congratulations again. So sometime between now and next month you can level up. So sometime between now and next month you can level up. Maybe I don't know if we want to do another level up episode and talk about your characters and all that, but yeah, we'll make sure everyone gets leveled up before the next part of the adventure. Should I do that now, before I forget, or now? No, you don't have to do it right now. Okay, well, we're going to end this episode here. Wow, this has been quite an adventure. Thank you all for playing. I hope you had a good time clearing out the Tricender Manor.

Zanros

Thank, you and the.

Andrew

Bumble Bumble B&B. That's right, the future bloody home of the Bumble Bumble B&B. Look out, bugbears Not welcome. Bugbears not welcome.

Catherine

Red brands and bugbears not welcome.

James

Wow, I can really see just a suggestion of maybe a little museum dedication to the bloody beginnings of Bumble Bumble.

Andrew

B&B.

James

Yes.

Catherine

Tiny little Zanros just whacking people at quarterstaff.

Andrew

Right, Totally. Again, thank you all. This was great. Catch us next month. We'll have a couple episodes in between. We'll catch us next month on the next round of adventure when we figure out where we head to next. Again, thank you everyone for listening and thank thank you all for playing.

James

Thank you.

Andrew

Thank you All right, bye, everybody Bye. ©. Transcript Emily Beynon.

Podcasts we love

Check out these other fine podcasts recommended by us, not an algorithm.

Table Talk Artwork

Table Talk

Alejandra and Mariah
For The Deconstructed Artwork

For The Deconstructed

For the Deconstructed