Legends, Loot, & Lore: A Players's Guide to Dungeons and Dragons
"Legends, Loot, & Lore" is a fun Dungeons and Dragons podcast where host Andrew and co-host Catherine dive into the thrilling realms of D&D, delivering news, tips, interviews, and fascinating tales of legendary adventures, all from the perspective of someone new to or interested in playing Dungeons and Dragons.
Legends, Loot, & Lore: A Players's Guide to Dungeons and Dragons
Chaos, Charisma, & Critical Rolls: Our Trio's Continued Epic Adventure
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We are back! After a long hiatus, the adventuring party returns. Join us for a super-sized episode this week as we continue our journey.
What happens when a deer's head, a mischievous dog, and iconic movie lines converge in a single podcast episode? Join us for a session brimming with humor and nostalgia as we reunite with our adventure-loving crew in the whimsical world of Phandelver and Below: The Shattered Obelisk. From clever disguises and telepathic plots to encounters with bugbears and cryptic treasures, we revisit the highlights of our last session and tease you with the excitement of what's to come. Will Callie join the fray and add an unexpected twist to their journey?
As our heroes navigate the perilous dungeon, the stakes are high and the strategies even higher. Iquium, Zanros Bemblebomble, Dal, and the gang face guarded doors, mysterious voices, and the taunting of Redbrand guards. With quick wit and a dash of magic, the team attempts to outsmart their foes through clever ruses involving shape-shifting allies. But as dice determine destiny, plans go awry, leading to an inevitable showdown. Experience the thrill of unpredictable decisions and the camaraderie that makes role-playing games an exhilarating adventure.
Amidst the chaos of a prison break and the search for hidden passages, our adventurers remain undeterred. Whether it's tackling foes with Eldritch Blasts, strategizing in the armory, or searching for an emerald necklace in a shop overrun by the undead, this episode captures the heart of epic storytelling. With a touch of humor and pop culture nods, the session is a rollicking ride filled with teamwork, unexpected challenges, and the promise of more thrilling quests ahead. Join us and witness the vibrant spirit of tabletop gaming unfold in a world where anything is possible.
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All right, Welcome back to another episode of Legends, Loot and Lore. What Don't give me that look.
CatherineWhat was that?
AndrewI don't know. Okay, Legends, Loot and Lore.
CatherineYes, that's what you usually say Legends Loot and Lore.
JamesThat's what you usually say Legends, loot and lore. Thank you, thank you, sir.
AndrewCan you also say this is CNN, this is CNN.
ZanrosI am your father.
JamesExcellent. If I had a fan, I'd do the Tommy Boy thing. Oh, I know, I know.
Speaker 4Luke fan, I do the tommy boy thing.
Jamesoh, I know luke while you're sitting there, being not slim, oh my god I just I just die with a deer in the car, just every single time it's just so yes and and part of it is because my, my dad, had a deer's head and and when we were kids, the dog freaked out because we took it out of a box and he freaked out and was like oh, wow looking at the thing. So of course, my sister and I had to chase the dog, of course.
AndrewWell, of course, and later on, the dog chewed the dog, of course. Well, of course.
JamesAnd later on the dog chewed the nose off the stuff.
AndrewOh, my God Wow.
JamesHe got his vengeance.
AndrewI apparently yeah, All right, so we are. We are back with with the crew to play some more Phandelver and below the shattered obelisk. Very exciting when last we met our intrepid crew, you were in the crypt. You were in the crypt with the sarcophagi and sarcophagals.
JamesI'm sorry, I love that.
CatherineCan I quickly read my notes?
Andrewfrom last session. Oh, please do.
CatherineHere's what I opened my notebook to Glass Staff. Master of the Arcane Arts. Okay, yes, bugbears, nair, the Guardian Swirly Wow.
AndrewThis is going to be an adventure, so you.
JamesSo it's when those things kick in that it really becomes fun, because you're like oh yeah, like oh that, because I have pages of notes like that.
AndrewExactly.
JamesSo I totally I don't know, we haven't played this in a month.
CatherineI approve of your notes, thank you.
JamesI'm supportive of your notes.
AndrewI think it's been more than a month, right.
ZanrosYeah, I think so.
AndrewIt's been over a month, so you entered the underground of the former Trescender Manor. I'm surprised Xanros hasn't put the sign out front future home of the Bemble Bumble B&B yet.
CatherineHow did it time?
AndrewMaybe soon I'll get there. So you came into the basement, there was the whole interaction with the cistern, the, the completely benign cistern that caused so much, so much trouble. Um zanros, I believe, intimidated several red brands into leaving and and iquium decided to take an attack of an opportunity attack on them, and then they decided to well, fight back. So that was genius, um thank you, you. You then went into the hallway and had your, your misadventures there, and you.
Speaker 4With Theo.
AndrewTheo Pimble. I keep forgetting Theo Pimble's name. Theo Pimble was with you. He saved you from falling into the trap. You got into the crypt. You saw the name Trescender. It means something to Xanros. However, xanros is not quite sure what that meaning is yet. It pinged something in her brain, but not quite sure yet. So you opened up. You got the potions, the potions of healing. What else did you? There was that there was something else in the one crypt. Yes, your little, tiny potions of healing.
JamesThose are awesome, so cool.
FableAnd I don't know where they are, because they have been moved quite sadly.
AndrewSo let's see. So you're in the crypt. Oh, the jeweled gold bracelet.
CatherineYes, worth 140 gold pieces.
AndrewYes, so you've got that as well. That was also in my notes. Yes, so you've got that as well.
CatherineThat was also in my notes. Yes, under Nair and Swirly's. Yes.
AndrewSo anybody have any questions or any other recollections, or would you like to yes?
JamesI have a question because I think I asked this the last time.
AndrewDid I not answer it last time?
CatherineI don't know, but initially. James hasn't listened to the episodes.
AndrewThat's right, I forgot. Yes, ask away. I am happy to refresh your memory or make something new up. I'm just behind.
JamesThat's all. Refresh your memory or make something new up.
AndrewI'm just behind, that's all. There's a difference between being a little behind and a big ass.
ZanrosWow, oh, a2 fable.
FableWow, ouch, this is a bad time to mention I also haven't.
JamesYou're all good, You're being very supportive of me and I love you for it. Thank you.
AndrewWe're all here. This is a safe space. This is a very safe space, except for me.
CatherineYeah, not for James, no, not for James Except for me.
AndrewSo what was your question, James?
Jamesfor me. So what was your question?
Andrewjames, my question was am I able to take callie with us? As a matter of fact? You are okay, so would you like to? Would you like to summon? Yes, or do you want to go? All right?
Jameswell, well, that was. My next question was can I telepathically call her?
AndrewSo this gets to be a little tricky. So you don't have the ability to speak telepathically. It's not a skill. You have teleathy, so right, or do you? Maybe I'm am? I am I misreading your character sheet? Forgive?
Jamesforgive me for awakened mind, you can telepathically speak to any creature. Oh, I have to be able to see it within 30 feet got it so that answers that question so.
AndrewSo, so that the the short answer is yes, you can go get callie, okay. However, remember, between you and callie are about six skeletons in a hallway that you locked in that hallway. But I have a red cloak oh, that is true, I forgot. But Callie, well, I don't want to. I was going to say but what does Callie, would they care? I was going to say you could steal the one off of Theo Pimble and or, remember, remember back in that other, remember, in the room off to the cistern. Remember there were other cloaks there as well, so you could grab a cloak if you wanted to and put it on Callie.
JamesWell, let's see if that works.
AndrewOkay.
JamesOkay, so I will make my way back through that hallway over the pit of spikes.
AndrewIt wasn't even a pit of spikes, it was just a hole in the floor. Oh, it was just a hole in the floor. It was just a hole in the floor.
JamesOh, I thought it was like the whole floor.
AndrewNo, no, no, no, no, no. I just pictured this chasm of spikes. No, it was literally like a hole in the floor. You'd get like two bludgeoning damage if you fell in there. Oh, you're much kinder than I am. It was nothing. I know you guys are level two at this point. I'm not going to, and there goes the whole party, and there's the whole party.
JamesWelcome to Legends, loot and TPK.
AndrewThat's right, all right, so you're going to go back out. Yeah, bring Callie. Yes.
JamesWith you.
AndrewOkay.
JamesAnd. I'm going to give her a little red blankie to to to wrap around her like a little cape.
AndrewLittle red, little red riding hood.
JamesYes.
AndrewExactly.
JamesHey, little red riding hood, what big teeth you got there.
Catherineoh sorry this was to a really weird place, just saying not the first time no, but it's early it is alright.
Deceptive Encounter in the Dungeon
AndrewSo you are now in the crypt. The skeletons didn't bother. Didn't bother either one of you, and where what?
Zanroswas that.
JamesIt was.
AndrewOh, okay, okay, yes, catherine.
CatherineNothing. Oh, I thought you had something to say no, I'm just being weird.
AndrewOkay, so you can. So you're in the crypt. To the north of the crypt, in the northwest corner of the crypt, is a door In the northeast. On the eastern wall, on the northern side is another door. Yes, James.
JamesI have a question as far as the orientation of our new lovely poster-sized map that you have given us.
AndrewIs that north, if you notice the big compass on the map.
JamesWow, wow, wow Served again.
CatherineOkay, in James' defense.
AndrewLet me draw your attention to the giant compass on the map.
CatherineNo, no, my. What do you call this?
AndrewYour dice tray.
CatherineYeah, my dice tray was on top of the compass when.
AndrewJames was looking Well. I say that's fair. It's not James' fault, it's your fault, it's my fault.
CatherineStop making fun of James.
JamesI am vindicated.
CatherineJust for now.
Speaker 4That's fine, just for now.
JamesIt's always the spellcaster that's the target.
AndrewSo you are the weakest link. You are the weakest link. Goodbye, goodbye. So where, which door would you like to go through?
JamesI will defer to Xan Rosendale, because you know I might Leroy Jenkins the whole thing.
AndrewSo in what order? So let me do this, do a Zanros.
CatherineYes.
AndrewI'm sorry.
CatherineYes, oh, I'm sorry.
AndrewYes, there we go, zanros. Give me sorry. Yes, there we go, xanros. Yeah, give me a perception. Check. Poor Dao. Dao is in the dank dungeon that is the basement of the Tresenderman. Dao has caught cold 15.
Andrew15 no no, no, no, you're good, um, so in the, in that far, but behind that far northeast, northern eastern door you you can hear some voices. Far northeast, northern eastern door, you can hear some voices. You can't determine how many voices. There are multiple voices. There is a conversation being had, but that is all that you can determine.
CatherineOkay.
Speaker 4Do we feel like killing stuff that?
Catherinewas. I think that was a double yes.
AndrewHow much how are your um your hit points, um? You know what are you seven you have seven left. Yeah, I have nine seven out of twelve and you got nine out of twelve, nine out of twelve. Okay, I don't know how the hell james is dick. We've hadweave has 21 hit points 21 hit points.
FableWell, because they didn't go after him.
AndrewNo, no, but he's a maximum User. Spellcasters are pretty squishy.
CatherineYeah, he takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
AndrewI know Well he is Mr Glass.
JamesAnd Callie has 28 out of 37.
AndrewOkay.
JamesAlthough I don't know that I ever reset hers, or if we give you that.
AndrewWe can assume she's got how many 28 out of 37. You can assume that Callie has many 28 out of 37. You can assume that Callie has taken a short rest at this point and that's probably back to full health.
FableSounds fun. I said that sounds fun, right, okay, I said that sounds about right.
CatherineOkay, so I assume we're going through that door. Yes, alright, should we put Equium in front, since he's got so many hit points, and now for another episode of front, since he's got so many hit?
Jamespoints. And now for another episode of the wizard meat shield.
AndrewYes, For months, the red brands have been capturing travelers in the area and holding them until they can be ransomed. This long room is partitioned into three areas. Holding them until they can be ransomed Could be friends. This long room is partitioned into three areas, with iron bars walling off the north and the south. Filthy straw lines the floors of those cells, the hinged doors of which are secured by chains and padlocks. A pair of human women are held in the cell to the south, while a human boy is confined to the north. Three red brands stand guard. They have been taunting. What you've been hearing is them taunting the hapless prisoners. What would you like to do? Because you've gone through the door at this point?
Catherinecorrect, so have they seen us.
AndrewOh, they already. They're very aware of your presence.
JamesI suggest I will go through the door with Callie first.
Speaker 4Okay.
JamesOh, but I'm wearing a red cloak.
CatherineWhat's that Please provide?
JamesBut I'm wearing a red cloak so, and so is Callie, and so is Callie, sorry, hey.
CatherineSorry, I was reminding Fable to try to tell us when they're going to cough.
AndrewYes, please.
CatherineMy bad.
AndrewSo Equium and Callie have entered the chat with their red brand capes on. What would you like to say to these three other red brands?
JamesI'm going to walk through the door. I'm like can you believe this guy? He learned how to turn into a wolf Amazing, have you seen this trick?
AndrewSo, what are you trying to do? Are you trying to um? Are you? Are you trying to deceive them? Are you trying to intimidate them? Okay, so then roll for deception 19 plus two 21. Boom. So they are all taken aback. They completely believe you that somehow this red brand has turned into a large dire wolf and they're just like oh my God, what happened?
JamesWe were having a drink and he said dude, you cannot even believe what I learned how to do, and he did it. But I can't get him to turn back now.
AndrewIs he friendly?
JamesGo ahead give him scritches. I don't know if that would offend him I haven't. I haven't petted him, to be perfectly honest with you.
AndrewSo. So let's see here Animal handling is a wisdom Alright, so they are going to Roll an animal handling check I got to find where's my good D20. I've got too many dice in here.
Speaker 4What.
AndrewYou heard me. I said I have too many dice. I admit it, okay.
JamesYou've hurt me with that one. That's what really hurt. You can say anything you like, but saying you have too many dice, that's just not right.
AndrewSo, oh, okay, so they all roll reasonably. So you tell me, since you have the bond with Callie, the lowest they rolled was a 10 for animal handling. Is that enough to prevent Callie from attacking?
JamesWell, do you want me to roll like I don't know? Would it be a charisma? Roll on her behalf.
AndrewThat's a good question.
JamesTo see if she reacts, because if it's a charisma, roll, it would probably be easier for her because she's got low charisma.
AndrewNot to me, of course. I think it's just completely up to you. I don't think, I don't think how he needs to roll, just what. What do you think? What do you think? Because you, like I said, you're, you're bonded to callie I think so uh I think she'll be really pensive.
JamesShe'll sit, she'll sit down. Oh okay, she'll just sit, got it and be like yeah, I think her reaction is more like I, I'll wait this out until I eat them, or you know what have you. But she'll be chill because I'm, you know, All right. It's kind of our little act of like her almost attacking me but just rolling over Right, right, right. You know, giving belly scritches, and she might even she might even do that to the person who rolls highest.
AndrewSo one of the, so one of the red brands asks you, have you, have you tried a healing potion? Do you have any healing potions or anything? What have you, what have you tried to to get him to turn back into a human?
JamesWell, I gave him a flag of a flag and a veil, but I don't have any.
AndrewThat's not going to get him drunk.
JamesWell, we were getting drunk at the time, so you know. But he's either forgotten or something, I don't know. It's kind of weird.
Speaker 4Hmm.
AndrewAll right. So what do you?
JamesWell, we came to relieve you Because I figured they're going to be terrified of him as a dog.
AndrewOkay, so now this is a new deception. So the first deception was that Callie was a red brain that turned into a dire wolf. Now you're trying to deceive them that you are. You are their relief absolutely ten sigh crying out loud. We just started our shift, why would you be here to relieve us?
JamesYeah, I think I have one too many.
ZanrosOkay.
AndrewYou should go dunk your head in the cistern and sober up.
JamesThere's something in there. I swear it. I'm not going to do that. I might let him drink out of it, but hey, something in there.
Prison Break Chaos and Battle
AndrewDon't you know that we don't have it? We've been drinking from the cistern all the time. We don't have any problem with it. What's?
Jamesyour problem with the cistern. That explains a lot Just water.
AndrewExcuse me, what Meow. Just goes over their heads. So what would you like to?
Catherinedo so am.
AndrewI correct to assume these dumb dummies haven't seen us yet. Well, because Callie is so big, it's in the door Between Iquium and Callie. They're kind of blocking the view past the door, so they're not yet able to see you, so they don't know what's going on.
CatherineThe element of surprise.
AndrewBeyond that, and Theo, don't forget, theo was with you.
CatherineFreaking Theo Pimble.
AndrewYes.
CatherineShouldn't they know Theo Pimble?
AndrewBut they can't see Theo Pimble.
CatherineI know, but look who we sent Theo Pimble in.
AndrewIs Theo Pimble on your side or their side?
CatherineThat's a great question. That's a great question.
JamesI.
AndrewWhat would you like to do?
JamesI mean I'd like to Eldritch Blast them all, but that's.
CatherineOf course you would. That's me. That's Equium's go-to move, eldritch Blast.
JamesOh, so, until he so in all seriousness, until he so in all seriousness, until he, like, until this wears off, so he doesn't, you know, eat us. Maybe we should keep him in here. I'm willing to watch him because I've been with him for, like it's hilarious, he's rolling over like asking for belly rubs, the whole you know doing, the whole dog thing, and you know what do I know? Like, yeah, I mean, I saw it happen.
AndrewIt's pretty incredible well, okay, so we, we could, so so we can take the. We can take the little kid, yeah, we can take him out of that cage, lock him up with the, the two women, and, and we can take the little kid, we can take him out of that cage, lock him up with the, the two women, and, and then we can put, we can put this guy in in that cell, wait till hopefully he changes and and leave him locked up there.
JamesOkay.
AndrewAll right, yeah, we can do that.
JamesUm so, since I'm in sight range of Callie, yes, so since I'm in sight range of Callie yes. I, so I know that they have keys, mmm. Any suggestions, because I'm all. I'm all for it and I want to go. You just want to kill him, don't you?
Catherinesee, I'm thinking Zanros is tiny and zanros is stealthy. Can zanros get in, pickpocket the keys and then we just let those guys go on their way?
Jameswell, they just started their ship. My thought was they're not. They're not going anywhere say hey look, we'll take over for you.
CatherineAnd yeah, I mean, then let's kill him. They feel so excited.
JamesOkay, Okay so so I'll, I'll, I'll go into the full act of trying to pull Callie by a collar or collar or harness or whatever, and and she'll resist. So she'll. I have no strength trying to pull Callie by a collar or harness or whatever, and she'll resist. So she'll. I have no strength. She'll easily pull me across the floor Like I'll make a good show of it.
AndrewRight right.
JamesAs they're trying. I'm like I'm gonna need you to open the door. I'll get him to go in, but he might not cooperate. And I start pulling the collar towards where the kid is.
AndrewAll right. So one of the red brands with the keys goes over, unlocks the lock, takes the chains off the door, opens the door, he starts dragging the kid out of the lock. Takes the chains off the door, opens the door, he starts dragging the kid out of the cell and getting out of the way. So he's now going to go over to the other cell. And what are you doing while he's just moving that?
Jamesprisoner as he's moving across the moment he opens the door, moving across, yeah, the moment he opens the door, I am telekinetically telling callie to hold me, to break free, right so when both the doors are open, and then I'll just start yelling he's loose, he's loose, he's loose, and he just goes into full anger mode towards them.
AndrewAll right, so both cells are open because the one red brand is trying to toss the kid into that cell. So now Callie has broken loose.
JamesCallie will break loose. Yes, as soon as the other guy opens the other door with the kid, that's when Callie will break loose cause confusion.
AndrewNow are you attacking? Or what's the purpose of Callie breaking loose and causing confusion, because now there's just chaos.
ZanrosYeah.
AndrewSo the prisoners are there. The three red brands are there. They're trying to figure out what's going on. They're more concerned about trying to control his dog. So the one guy is with the prisoners. I think he's going to.
JamesWhen he opens the door and he's taking the kid in, okay, yes, callie breaks loose, all right, and we're going to do our whole little bit that we've kid in.
JamesOkay, yes, callie breaks loose, all right, and we're going to do our whole little bit that we've done in towns before. She's going to pick me up in her mouth, right, and I'm going to go get in the cage, save yourselves, and if they go out the door then you guys attack them, but if they get in the cage we just lock them up and we let the other prisoners loose.
CatherineAnd then, what are we gonna do with these locked up red brands?
JamesLeave them to rot? I don't know.
ZanrosIn my B&B. Yeah, well, you know I already have to reimagine this room. I don't really see a reason I'm going to need a prison Wine cellar.
JamesIt's a wine cellar. Yeah, You've got three sommeliers. With intimate knowledge.
ZanrosI don't think these idiots know anything about wine.
AndrewThey're very familiar with the cellar itself. Yes, so, okay. So now you're trying to deceive them again. So roll a deception, roll for deception.
JamesRoll a big.
Speaker 4Uh-oh.
JamesFive, five. Wait, let me roll the other one and see what it would have been on this. Now I know better.
AndrewOh no, so they are not convinced to run into the cell and lock themselves in it. So that plan does not work. So they. Now you're in Callie's mouth, correct, Okay?
JamesCallie drops me, I hit Eldritch Blast.
AndrewSo you're going to, I'm going to attack them. Which one are you going to attack, or is's eldritch blast an area of effect?
Jamesuh, no, no, it's specific, it's so which?
Andrewwhich one of them, which one of the three? So there's two, there's two that are in that scent, kind of right in that middle of that room, yeah yeah. And then there's one the one is on the Southern, at the Southern door, with the the kid. He just threw the kid into that cell. So you've got one at the door, one at the door of the cell.
JamesThe one towards the middle, the one in the cell.
AndrewI don't want to hit the kid, so Okay, you want to hit one of the other two.
JamesOne. You want to hear one of the other two. One of the other two.
AndrewOkay, okay, that an eight. So in all of the chaos, you cast Eldritch Blast because you just hit the floor. Shorty got low, low, low, low, sorry. Ickum got low, low, low, low, sorry, ickum got low, low, low, low. So in all this chaos, you hitting the floor, you cast Eldritch Blast. It kind of zaps right in between the two red brains in the room and completely, completely misses them. Okay, roll for initiative.
FableI'll be a four.
AndrewTwelve, sixteen. Hang on Dal Dal Four Four Xanros Twelve Ikwin 16. Hang on Dow Dow Four Four Zanrose 12.
JamesEquine 16. Right and Uh.
AndrewYes.
JamesShould I roll for Callie or is?
Andrewmy Callie, callie will, callie will, attack on your, your initiative. Okay, all right. Now I got to roll for three red brands, all right, all right, oh so Equium, equium, the red brand one of the two red brands that you just missed is going to now come and attack you, and they are going. They're coming at you with a short sword, they're gonna take a swing.
JamesI assume an eight does not hit. An eight does not hit, no, they're going to take a swing. I assume an eight does not hit. An eight does not hit.
AndrewNo, okay. So again, in all the chaos, they come at you, take a swing, completely Again. They just this Eldritch Blast came at them. They kind of ducked out of the way and just took a quick swing at you and completely, completely missed. Now, equium it is. You're up again, okay. Okay, because I? I assume that was a surprise attack, because they weren't, they weren't expecting it. So now, so now you and callie both get to attack. So now there is there's one that's a little bit closer to you because he just took the swing at you. There's one a little bit further back and there's the one at the southern cell that just threw the kid. Just threw the kid in. He's been locking up the cell, so the the prisoners are still still secured, and he's now standing in front of the gate looking at you as well.
JamesI'm going to go for the one that's closest to me Eldritch Blast 14.
Andrew14 will hit, so you definitely make contact.
JamesVery ominous music Um 10. Eight points of damage eight points of damage.
AndrewYou, you, you hit him just square in the chest, knocking him back and basically knocked the wind out of him. That was a significant blow. And now Callie.
JamesCallie, she is going to bite and that's a 19. And which one is she biting, I'd say the one that's by the gate.
AndrewOK, got it. So 19 does just definitely hits.
JamesSix points of damage again.
AndrewPiercing damage.
JamesCorrect, it's the teeth yes, it's piercing damage and it has to no, that says if the target is a creature, it must succeed on a DC 13 strength saving throw or be moved from.
AndrewGot it.
JamesBut that's a creature, not a.
AndrewNot a human.
JamesI'm assuming, not a human.
AndrewI do not believe humans are creatures.
Speaker 4Maybe he's a creature of habit, maybe, oh, okay.
AndrewSister betrayal, does he wear a habit? So anyway.
JamesI don't know. He's got a cape now Like he's going to go through the whole costume thing.
AndrewOh my God, totally A little trunk that we have to drag around, that's right. What?
JamesKali's outfits are.
AndrewSo Kali picks up this red brand in her mouth, kind of gives him a little shake, teeth dig in into the flesh of the leg and does again, does some pretty good damage, and then kind of, as she's shaking, just drops him, drops him back in front of the, in front of the prison cell, excellent. And then comes up Zanros. So you're outside of the room, zanros. So basically, james is kind of up front, equium is up front, just hit the one guy, yep, so there's two kind of near each other, on the eastern wall, kind of on the eastern side of that room, that center room, there's the one guy now that's also been attacked. That's in front of the southern cell door. So those are the three red brands that are in there.
CatherineAll right, so I want to go for one of the guys that's up against the wall. Can I run in there Because I'd like to use my quarterst? But I gotta get closer yes, you can do that okay all right, let's roll with this guy. That's disappointing.
AndrewSo 10. 10 to hit. Yeah, you, just, you take a swing and they just at the last momenter veer back and and you, you miss them, just just missed hitting them. Is that your entire turn um? What would you? What else?
Catherineno, I'm thinking I'd like to use my bonus action for flurry of blows.
AndrewLet's take a look at flurry of blows. Okay, so you're going to take two unarmed strikes?
CatherineYep, Because I'm pissed so I throw the quarterstaff down. Okay, okay, ohaff down, okay, okay, oh, my God.
FableSeven.
AndrewYour fury, the fury of blows. You're so furious that your flurry just does not connect on the first shot, 19. 19.
CatherineYou come back with the other not connect on the first shot, 19.
Andrew19. You come back with the other hand the back slap, no, the forward slap, the forward slap. You just completely missed. But that back slap definitely connects.
ZanrosOkay.
CatherineI got to do my damage roll right yes, how much.
AndrewNow, which one were you going after? Are you going after the one that James just hit with Eldritch Blast?
Catherineno one of the ones against the wall well, that's one of them. He already hit no, there's one with no damage correct him.
AndrewOh okay, seven, seven points of damage.
Catherinewow Okay, seven.
AndrewSeven points of damage. Wow, that's a hearty slap For all of the effort that you put into the quarterstaff attack and the other unarmed attack. All that energy has been building up inside of you and you just came right back and just like this red brand spun around.
AndrewYou slapped him so hard. Slap you into next week. Basically, that is basically what you have done to this red brand. Get out of my B&B next week. Basically, that is basically what you have done to this red brand. Get out of my B&B, alright. So now that this one has spun around and recovered, it is going to come right back and attack you with its short sword.
ZanrosMm-hmm.
AndrewDoes a 13 hit? It does not. So again, still recovering from the slap that was heard around the world, tried to swing at you with a short sword. Just completely, completely biffed it and did not hit you. That's right, hang on, I gotta move some stuff around.
CatherineXanra's a small but mighty.
JamesYes, fury of the small.
AndrewAlright, so now I'm just looking at my order of initiative. So All right, so now I'm just looking at my order of initiative. So now the one that Callie shook and dropped is going to come back now and try to make an attack on Callie.
JamesOkay.
AndrewAnd try to give some payback. Does a 12 hit, callie? It does not. Again, these guys are.
CatherineThese guys are like stormtroopers, wow.
AndrewThey are really struggling. They are really struggling. Thank God, I'm rolling this d20 because it is. May the odds be ever in your favor and they are. So that was the third guard. Now, dao, you are still out in the crypt. Would you like to join the battle?
FableYes, I want to go for the one that's attempted to get Xanris next okay, alright. I'm going to do hold the dead so I can do a wisdom save.
AndrewI'm sorry. What do a wisdom save? A wisdom save. A wisdom save. Well, considering that this red brand has a minus one for wisdom, I guess that Nat one becomes a zero man they're
Catherinepretty dumb.
AndrewWow, okay, again, you know it's, it's amazing. It's amazing for how dumb they are. They still are not deceived by it, Right?
CatherineWe've all got a moment. We've all got our. We've all got a moment. We've all got a moment of clarity.
JamesThat's right clearly I have to take a feat in theatrics or something oh, totally alright, so they failed.
AndrewThey failed their wisdom. Save clearly oh yeah so what's happening? Four damage four damage, clearly, oh yeah. So what's happening for damage and what type of damage is that?
FableProduct.
CatherineOh, that sucks.
AndrewSo this one, this one now. So took, took the the bitch slap from Xanros, spun around, swung at Xanros with his short sword and now just suddenly feels the life force being sucked right from out of him.
FableHe's just that's what he gets.
AndrewYeah, really.
CatherineSucks to be from out of him. He's just that's what he gets. Yeah, really Sucks to be him. So there.
ZanrosSuck.
AndrewAll right. So now we are back at the top of the order, and again, this red brand isn't very smart. Should know that Kali is probably the bigger threat.
JamesIt's going to come after me.
AndrewWell, let's say, I want to see who. Where is my? Here we go, I'm going to see which one of you this one is going to come after one, one, two, three, four, this one, so this is the one that Iquium hit, but just seeing that attack by Dall, it's going to go after her. Well, this D20 is not doing me any favors, dall. So let's see. Does a 10 hit? No Okay, then See these guys. Does a 10 hit? No Okay. Then see, wow, they are not doing well.
JamesI'm surprised they had the key to the cell.
AndrewRight, oh my god, it's the one cell they had and it's shared. So, equium, that's up to you now, you and Callie. Eldritch Blast and that's a 14 and which one are you going after?
Jamesthe one that hit me initially the one that just attacked try to just attack.
AndrewThat Okay good. Um, so you definitely. This elder blast will definitely hit.
JamesOkay, so that is eight points of damage.
AndrewEquium.
JamesHow would you like to do this? The Eldritch Blast, hits him in the chest and it's like a streak of crackling energy hits him and it just makes his body writhe and he just slumps over. Wow, nice Excellent body writhe and he just slips out. Wow, nice, excellent. And then, uh, cali yes going to bite the guy that was by the cell that she did before.
AndrewRight, uh, that is a 10. Callie takes a bite at this red brand, but fortunately the red brand is able to just ever so slightly get out of the way of of callie's bite. Okay, so didn't, didn't quite make it. That leads us now. That's that's.
JamesThat's your turn, right um, I have a question yeah and because I didn't see this before, but callie gets advantages on attack rolls if a creature, if at least one of the wolf's allies, is within five feet of the creature and the ally isn't incapacitated.
AndrewOkay, good to know for next turn. Okay, but yes.
JamesNo, that's fine.
AndrewYeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely that's cool.
JamesI was always assuming it was, you know, wolves, but it's allies you are all.
AndrewThis is this being pride month. You are all allies excellent just had to throw that in there.
AndrewHappy pride month, everyone. So yeah, so next turn. You can definitely do advantage on on that. So this brings us up to zanros zanros. What would you like to do? So now, okay, there is. There is the, the one red brand that attacked Dao that Equium just killed. There's the one still that you went after initially they are still standing, but barely and there's the guard in front of the gate, in front of the cell as well, that Callie just went after but did not get to.
CatherineOkay, I'm going to go back for the guy that I backhanded, cool. Oh my god, these rolls Ten.
AndrewAgain. You Are you trying to do the quarterstaff again? Yes, okay, so you take a swing with the quarterstaff and he just kind of dips. Does that little neo move and dodges out of the way. He dodged, he dodged, he ducked, he dipped, he dived and he dodged. Did he sidestep? No sidestepping.
JamesOkay, not yet Ask him for Okay, not yet. Ask him for a friend.
AndrewGot it. Is that your turn, Zanros? So again, because you just went after this one, he's going to come right back at you. Does a 15 hit.
CatherineMy.
AndrewAC is 15. So it does, it does connect Alright. Finally, finally, a red brand does some damage. Not a whole hell of a lot, though. Three points, three points of piercing damage.
FableNow that leaves so what are you at, Samuels Six?
ZanrosAre you?
Andrewgonna do no, so that your turn was done. So what are you at Samuels Six? Are you going to do no? So your turn was done. So that was the other red brand. So now the third red brand, the one by the cell, is going to come back after Callie again and is definitely not going to hit with an eight.
FableSo and is definitely not going to hit with an 8.
AndrewSo so that red brand misses, and that brings us up to Del. It is your turn. What would you like to do and who would you like to attack is the one that attacked Xander still alive.
FableYes, I just missed him. Go for it and I'm going to do toll the dead again Is the one that attacked.
CatherineXander still alive. Yes, I want that one.
Speaker 4Go for it.
FableAnd I'm going to do Toll the Dead again.
Speaker 4So I can do another Wisdom save.
FableYes, eldrick's Blast, I have Toll the Dead 18?
AndrewDamn, that doesn't help you. Huh, is it half damage, or I?
Fabledon't. No, not it half damage or I don't no, not even half damage.
AndrewOh wait a second. Did you? Did you roll 1d12 last time? Yes, oh, you did, okay. Yeah, because it sucked. Yeah, okay, got it okay, so, yeah. So they succeeded on their wisdom saving throw, so no attack there. Now we're gonna go back up to the top. And because the one red brand is dead, that leaves us to Iguam and Kali once again oh, okay, so so that leaves us to Iguium and Kali once again, oh okay.
AndrewSo there's the one that Zanros and Dal have been going after, okay, and there's the one in front of the prison cell that Kali has been trying to attack.
JamesI'll go after that one.
AndrewOkay.
JamesSeven.
AndrewNot quite, not quite, not quite. So what would Callie like to do?
JamesCallie would like to invoke the pack tactics this time and. I'm going to roll with advantage for you, callie, nat 20.
AndrewOh shit.
JamesSo that's a 25.
AndrewThat just hits.
JamesJust hits.
AndrewJust hits.
JamesThat's good to know.
CatherineIs that red brand wrapped in metal?
AndrewThe red brand should have gotten itself At this point. He should have put himself in the cell with everyone else.
JamesI tried to get them to go. I know right, that's 10 points of damage.
CatherineJames Iquium how would you like?
Andrewto do this one Now. Callie has this red brain in her mouth.
JamesI would say at a nat 20, she goes for the throat, oh, and she just shakes him like a rag doll.
AndrewShe chomps down, hits the jugular, so there's just blood spurting out as she shakes this thing back and forth in her mouth.
JamesIt's a guy.
AndrewIt's a rag doll. It is a rag doll to Callie. Nice Just shakes this thing to death. Just blood everywhere. It is a mess and Callie is having the time of her life. It's like yay, Exactly.
JamesAnd we get this face, this derpy face.
AndrewOh, it just disappeared.
CatherineNom nom nom.
AndrewExactly Happy Callie.
JamesAll right is that your turn? That is my turn.
AndrewAll right, zanros, you are up. One red brand left.
CatherineQuarterstaff. I'm going to hit somebody with my quarterstaff let's hope so they're all rolling like crap today, so I don't know which one.
AndrewTo 24 nice was it a nat 20 or?
Catherineno, it was an 18 and I have a plus 6. Oh jeez yeah okay.
AndrewWell, that definitely hits. You are definitely gonna whack this red brand with your quarterstaff.
CatherineYay, okay, so 1d6. Oh, it's just a regular die.
Speaker 4I do that every time 1d6.
CatherineSix.
AndrewZanros.
CatherineYes.
AndrewHow would you like to do this?
CatherineSo, I would like to take my quarterstaff.
ZanrosI'm going to start to the side so that I can do a full spin and swing right into this guy's stupid head and hit him so hard.
AndrewSo are you going to? You're going to have to. I think you're going to have to jump to.
CatherineI can't hold it high enough. I'm like three foot five.
AndrewI guess you could.
CatherineThe quarterstaff is long.
JamesYeah, okay.
CatherineYeah.
JamesI mean comparably in size, or Zandrus' size compared to the quarterstaff it's more like a buck and a quarter quarterstaff.
AndrewRight, really, it's really. Yeah, it's like a yardstick.
CatherineYeah, I can hold that up, Okay sure. And spin around. You're going to spin around. And whack that guy so hard in the head that his eyes roll back right before he drops dead.
AndrewNice yeah that his eyes roll back right before he drops dead Nice, yeah. So you just this. This your quarterstaff just hits him so square, like right in the temple. He just again. He, because you were spinning, he is now spinning. You have spun him right round, baby, right round, like a record. He spins around and just crumbles to the floor and these red brands are dispatched. Yay.
JamesCongratulations, were any of them wearing the apple-b apple bottom jeans and the boots with the fur?
AndrewNot the boots with the fur, no oh okay, I was just asking for a friend. Did you share that with everybody? What? What Aren't you the one that shared that video with me? Oh, the two jeans. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the apple bottoms. Yes, yes, that's what I thought you were referring to. I thought you were referring to the video of the apple bottom jeans, the two jeans. Who made the magic? No, you said get low, low, low, and I was just kind of like that's what made me think of that.
AndrewThey were making the magic boots with the fur.
JamesYeah, the magic boots with the fur. Yeah, oh my God.
AndrewWow.
JamesI'll have to find that and send it to him.
AndrewAll right, so you've cleaned up, so now, what would you like to do? There are the three prisoners still in the cell.
JamesDid they get the? They got the kid into the cell before this occurred.
AndrewYes, correct.
JamesThey're all just in one cell, okay, so I mean, obviously we're letting the prisoners out, yeah we're going to let the prisoners out and loot the prisoners out, and loot the red brands and see what they're yeah, all right, I'm gonna go over to the cell door.
CatherineI'm gonna grab the keys off of one of these dead red brands. What? What, by the way, is theo pimble doing this whole time?
Andrewhe was.
CatherineHe's still out in the crypt area so you just like whittling or something twiddling his?
Andrewthumbs, not even whittling. He's useless, no whittling.
CatherineOr something Twiddling his thumbs, eh, not even whittling. He's useless.
AndrewNo whittling twiddling.
CatherineHe's twiddling rather than whittling.
AndrewTwiddling rather than whittling. All right, twiddling, whittling, twiddling, whittling, twiddling, whittling. Oh boy, yes, I think he's just dawdling. Dawdling, twiddling, whittling, doodling doodling wow. Canoodling.
CatherineWow Wowzer In spiralizing some zoodles.
AndrewHe's zoodling Sweet, sweet, sweet Jesus, help me.
JamesAnd in the end maybe he'd start yodeling, Maybe.
CatherineOkay.
AndrewYes.
CatherineSo I'm going to grab the keys off of one of the dead red brands.
AndrewYes, A dead brand.
CatherineI like that, I like that, thank you, and I'm going to open Trademark. I'm going to open the cell door, yes, and I'm going to say hello.
AndrewI hope you're okay. Oh, my goodness, thank you for saving us. Oh, you're okay. Oh, my goodness, thank you for saving us.
ZanrosOh, you're welcome. I hope this doesn't sour your opinion of this home, because I will be turning it into a B&B and I'd love to treat you all to a meal.
AndrewThat would be so lovely.
ZanrosIn the meantime, do you think you can get yourselves out of here?
AndrewWe were blindfolded time. Do you think you can get yourselves out of here? I, I, I they. We were Blindfolded. We were, we, they, they, they dragged us in here unconscious and we, just we woke up in these cells. I don't even know where we are.
ZanrosAlright, are you okay hanging out with us for a little while then, cause we got some stuff to clear out of this place. That that's fine. You know we're just, we're just.
AndrewAre you okay hanging out with us for a little while then, because we've got some stuff to clear out of this place. That's fine, we're just grateful to be saved.
JamesYeah, I know.
CatherineYeah, I don't necessarily want them to leave on their own, because I want them to be safe.
Undead Heirloom Quest Begins
JamesCan we confirm, because Dal knows this, was it the?
CatherineWhat do I know?
JamesWoodcarver's wife and son.
FableOh yeah, that's right, it was the yes.
JamesWas that?
Catherineit. It was the other lady.
FableOne moment as I pull up my notes, which I do have. Yeah, his wife and two kids have gone missing. Only one kid.
CatherineWell, is one of the women. His kid Like an older kid.
Speaker 4Uh, I don't know yeah.
JamesCan we ask them who they are? Yeah, yeah.
AndrewMy name is Myrna Dendrar, and these are my children Nars and Nilsa.
CatherineNars, like the makeup brand. Oh, nars, nars.
JamesOh Nars, mr Gnarly, nars, dude Excellent.
AndrewThe red brands murdered my husband.
ZanrosYeah. I mean those guys suck.
AndrewThey were going to kill all of us.
ZanrosSounds right.
AndrewBut I told them I've got very wealthy family that live in Neverwinter and they would pay them. They would pay for our safe return. So they've kept us alive While trying to Come up with a ransom plan To get money from my family.
ZanrosWealthy family you say. Are they looking for any Investment opportunities?
FableWould you like to know About the Bumble Bumble B&B Wealthy family you say. Are they looking for any investment opportunities? Would you like?
Jamesto know about the Bumble Bumble B&B. I love the shameless marketing and you know the whole business package. Hustlers gotta hustle.
CatherineZeros has a singular goal, Like total respect.
JamesIt is that singular focus that I think is fantastic.
CatherineShe knows what she wants. She's going to get it.
AndrewWell, I have nothing to offer you right now. I know where you might be able to find something that is quite valuable. I'm listening. Years ago, when we fled Thundertray. Obviously yes who wouldn't, yes, the undead overran Thundertray. Yes, the undead overran Thunder Tree.
CatherineWe had an urban alchemy shop there.
AndrewAs one does. Inside the shop is an emerald necklace Hidden underneath a section of the storage shelves. We never went back to get it, it was just not safe. The shop is in the southeastern part of Thundertree. If you go there and it is, if it's safe, you are more than welcome to it it's very generous of you very generous of you. I'm just grateful that you saved us.
ZanrosI just appreciate you not doing any additional damage to the property. What were we going to do? We were locked in these cells.
AndrewYou're not doing any additional damage to the property. What were we going to do? We were locked in these cells.
ZanrosYou could have used the walls to like tick off the days, and then I would have had to fill all that you could have tried to tunnel to the outside.
AndrewThis is solid rock what?
Zanrosare we tunneling with? Listen, I heard a story about a guy who used a rock yes, a rock pick that he hid behind a poster to dig his way out of prison. So it's not impossible, you just need to have a little imagination and some stick-to-itiveness.
JamesDo you know the Dufresnes from Neverwinter? Are you familiar with them?
ZanrosNo, a guy named Red.
JamesIt was at that moment that Andrew knew it had all gone horribly, horribly wrong.
Speaker 4Oh my.
CatherineFable definitely doesn't get the reference.
JamesThat's all right, I don't, you and me Dufresne, thick as thieves.
CatherineShawshank Redemption Freak movie, both a book and a movie. Well, a novella and a movie A novella.
AndrewAll right, so you've now rescued the three prisoners.
JamesYes.
AndrewWhich were Myrna, myrna Dendrar. Nars and Nilsa. Nars and Nilsa.
JamesNars and Nilsa. Are they of the Swedish persuasion?
AndrewI believe they are.
JamesAnd the fleem it goes. A fleep, a fleep, a fleep they are, and the fleeming goes a-fleepy-fleepy-fleepy.
AndrewAnd so Myrna told you about the family heirloom. That is your. If you so choose to go hunting after that, it is yours. Yours for the taking, provided it's still there, who knows?
CatherineI mean how many people has she told about it?
AndrewYeah, but if the undead have overrun Thundertree.
CatherineDo you think they're like way into emerald necklaces? But you just never know, maybe when the undead is like ooh, Maybe one of the undead is wearing the necklace and I'll just rip it off his undead head.
AndrewMaybe you will, maybe I will. Well, you wouldn't rip it off the undead head, because again, they're probably pretty tall. You could quarter staff it.
CatherineYou could knock the undead head off you think I couldn't launch myself up another undead to get to the undead's neck that's wearing the necklace? Rip the necklace off and, like, behead them at the same time.
AndrewThat would be multiple acrobatics checks.
CatherineI'm pretty spry.
AndrewYeah, let's wait for that.
JamesYou hold that, thought I applaud that plan, but I think there's something missing.
CatherineWhat.
JamesWell, if there's a 12-foot tall skeletons, then you could get decor for the Bimble Bumble. It's.
CatherineHalloween.
JamesBecause, those 12-foot skeletons.
Mystery Wall Discovery and Brute Force
AndrewSo, speaking of which, I was driving up in, of all places, sussex County. So just let that be what it is. I was driving down the road in Sussex County and there, on someone's front lawn, is one of these giant 12 foot tall skeletons dressed up in a swim, swim trunks, a red, white and blue shirt. It was like it was like all set for for the 4th of July or, I guess, memorial day. Maybe it was still dressed up for, but I'm like, oh my, look at that. They're just rocking out that skeleton 365.
JamesThere's a lady on Instagram that she bedazzled hers.
AndrewWow.
JamesLike the little squares, so it's like a disco ball.
AndrewYeah.
JamesNice and she's doing the project and it's like that's impressive. It's awesome looking.
AndrewI bet.
JamesBut it took thousands and thousands of these little square.
AndrewI can imagine, I can only imagine. All right, so back to it. You cleared out these cells. What would you like to do next? So remember, back in the crypt. There is one door in the northwest, the northern wall, the western side of the northern wall, in the crypt, in the crypt that we were in previously.
JamesThere's no other doors or anything in this area Did we loot the red brands or we just took the keys.
Speaker 4We haven't yet.
JamesLet's loot the red brands or the dead brands.
AndrewThe dead brands.
JamesCopyright Legends, loot and More.
AndrewCopyright 2024. Legends, loot and More. There is nothing. The red brands have nothing on them of any value or of any note.
ZanrosThese guys are fully useless.
AndrewYes, clearly you don't even want them for employees. That's how useless they are.
JamesThat's saying a lot, since goblins are already the employees Right.
AndrewWhat's more useless than a goblin?
CatherineTheo Pimble oh.
AndrewWow.
JamesDoes that count as dissonant whispers or vicious mockery?
AndrewRemember this is Pride Month. We need to be inclusive of all races, creeds, colors, genders, etc.
CatherineI don't know how I'm not being inclusive by acknowledging that Theo Pimble is a useless individual. Wow.
AndrewOkay then.
CatherineHe wasn't even like. You know what. Look at these guys fighting. I'll help out. No, he's like I'm sitting over on the side here. I can't even be bothered to whittle, I'm just useless you. No one asked theo pimble to join in I'd like to see some initiative from the b&b employees. I'm not seeing that from theo okay, then then.
AndrewJust saying so what would you like to do next? You can either go back down the hallway. You can go back down the hallway and face the skeletons, or you can go through that northern door.
JamesI I think we go through the northern door in the crypt.
AndrewJames, just do me one favor.
JamesSorry, as I drill away.
CatherineOh, look over here, James, just oh look over here, james just nods off. Hey, can you?
Jameshear me now. The Doppler effect is real.
AndrewWho dressed up as the Doppler effect? Was that Dwight?
CatherineOh, no, that was on.
AndrewBig Bang Theory.
JamesHe dressed up as the Doppler effect. I'm just going to be going back and forth with Mike looking at the map.
AndrewOh, you're killing me, I love it.
JamesYeah, I think we should go through that northern door. Yes, are these? Oh, oh, what Are these little protuberances that we've come across previously? Are those meant to be sconces?
AndrewThose were the columns. Remember I mentioned there were columns.
JamesOh, there were columns, but they're like, half're like like half columns. They were faux columns, okay didn't he sing in the air tonight? Oh sorry, faux collins, faux collins yes that would be the best tribute band like cover band.
CatherineThe best tribute band like cover band Faux.
AndrewCollins, it has to exist right Now. I think you need to have as entertainment at the Bumble Bumble B&B Faux.
JamesCollins.
AndrewAppearing nightly Faux Collins.
JamesTheo Pimble as Foe Collins? Oh man, that would be great. And occasionally members of Genasi will play in. Oh yes, Genasi, Three Sides Live.
AndrewOh, my God, this is so good. So you're going through the northern door.
JamesGoing through the northern door.
AndrewOkay, in what order? Because this is a narrow little hallway here. So In what order are you going? Who's going first? Zanros Dal.
JamesZanros and Dal, you're still. Both of you are still injured.
CatherineYes, yes, theo.
JamesPimble. Theo Pimble will be our meat shield. I'll go in with Callie first.
AndrewYou'll go in with Callie first, okay, yeah, so you and Callie basically take up this entire little hallway, because it's five foot wide. By about 15 foot long there's a door in kind of the northeast corner of Can I listen at the door? You'd like to listen at the door? Where are?
Catherinewe, we're in this little thing, okay.
AndrewWell, you're still in the crypt area.
CatherineRight, I'm just trying to figure out where we're going. Got it, thank you.
AndrewAll I can hear is Mulder I know he's purring away.
Speaker 4Under the table. I know, mulder, where are under the table I know, Mulder, where are you?
Andrewbuddy, I don't know where you are. Hi, hi, buddy, he's purring away. Okay, so Equium give me. So you're in this hallway. Give me a perception check a Cali now that would be a 16 a 16. So, as you are listening at the door, one for one, you hear nothing. You hear nothing other than purring.
CatherineFrom somewhere.
JamesIs it Doppler purring? It is, I'm just asking for a friend.
CatherineFrom somewhere. Is it Doppler?
Andrewpurring it is. So. Leaning up against the door, you hear nothing. However, you do hear noise coming from somewhere, but when you're listening up against the door, you hear nothing. But just standing in the hallway you hear noise coming from somewhere.
JamesCan I? Can I do an investigation check to try and determine where the sound is coming from, or is that another perception check? You can do an investigation check to try and determine where the sound is coming from, or is that another perception check?
AndrewYou can do an investigation check. That'd be perfect.
JamesSix, damn it.
AndrewYou can't place the direction of the sound. You distinctly hear noise, but you cannot place its origin. You are up against the door. You know it's not coming from in there, but you cannot tell from what other direction it might be coming. What would you like to do?
ZanrosOh.
JamesCan I have Callie try to perceive it? Sure Okay, have Callie do an investigation, check, perceive it.
AndrewSure Okay, have Cali do an investigation check.
JamesInvestigation check. In her case it would be sniff investigation.
AndrewYes, exactly.
JamesThat is an 11 and her passive perception is 13 so you're.
AndrewYou're up against the door leaning callie is. Callie is sniffing around Directly opposite of the door. Callie is sniffing, sniffing starts barking and is just sniffing and barking and scratching like there's something there.
JamesOpposite to the door. Where Opposite to the door. Where Opposite to the door, where wall opposite of the door.
AndrewOkay.
JamesIs there anything, anything? I literally searched the door wherever she's sniffing.
AndrewSo so you notice, so. So. So in this in this hallway, you, you notice the, the bricks like the, the stonework on the wall. You, you notice, you notice there there's a change in pattern in the wall and you're able to make out a difference in pattern a little bit in that section of the wall.
JamesWhere the pattern is different. I want to press on the wall and see if it Gives away.
AndrewGive me an athletics check no.
JamesThe best I can hope for is a nat 20, so I can get 17.
AndrewBut here goes, fingers crossed 17 minus 3, 14.
JamesAnd you just missed. I'm ready for it, it's okay. It's a strength related thing, so it's okay it doesn't feel quite like a solid wall.
AndrewSomething doesn't feel right. Okay, you, it doesn't. It doesn't quite give you know what I mean, but it's just. It's just like it doesn't feel like a solid wall to you, Like an immovable wall, so it kind of I want to say kind of shifts just ever so slightly. So you know, something is there but you're not able to fully move it either. You've got other, stronger members of your party that yeah, so there's definitely something here.
JamesIt's just off and I tried to push it, it's not. Yeah, there's something up on this wall. It could be. I would encourage both of you to look and to press upon it where the pattern changes and I show them where I pressed.
AndrewExcellent.
CatherineCan I do an investigation check?
AndrewYou can do an investigation, check All right let's try that 19. So clearly, again you notice the same change in pattern that Iquium does Something. Just again, something just doesn't seem right. Not doesn't seem right, but seems different, Clearly, clearly, this part of the wall is different than the rest of the wall. Again, the pattern is a different pattern than the rest of the wall. So something is clearly different about this section. So something is clearly different about this section.
CatherineIt's door-shaped but you notice kind of a change in pattern. That is about the size of what would be a standard door. So do you think we have to tap it in a specific way to get it to open? Can Callie Kool-Aid man her way?
Jamesthrough the wall.
CatherineWhat would you like to do?
Speaker 4I want to go in.
JamesI was going to say I could try. You're going to try brute forcing it no.
AndrewI could try Equium. Already tried that Didn't go so well. What would you like to do, zanros? I know, no, I know, zanros.
CatherineCan I leap into the air with my feet?
Andrewand attempt to knock it open. Absolutely, you can absolutely try to do that.
CatherineOkay, what kind of roll would you like me to do for that?
AndrewI need both an acrobatics and an athletics check. Acrobatics first for the jump, the leaping like the jumping motion and then athletics to.
JamesI start humming. Everybody was kung fu fighting just to give inspiration.
CatherineIt's an 11 on acrobatics.
AndrewOkay, so you're up in the air, not as high as you wanted to go, but I'm up there. But you're up.
CatherineOkay, and the other one was athletics.
AndrewYes, six. So, you go flying at the door, hit it, just dink and drop, drop down. What the hell? Fortunately Callie catches you. That was nice of you Before you hit the ground and hurt yourself.
ZanrosShouldn't I have a master key to this place? What is wrong with this place?
JamesTheo Pimble Shall I. What's up with the wall?
ZanrosTheo Pimble, you useless piece of crap. Could you make yourself useful and figure out the wall?
JamesOh, with an invitation like that, who could resist?
AndrewAre you trying to persuade him or intimidate him?
CatherinePersuade.
FableShall I try to shoulder through this door.
AndrewSo, so so, persuade, persuade away.
CatherineOh, that's a nat 20. Nice Plus one, so that's a 21.
AndrewSo so again persuade, persuade Theo a nat 20. Nice Plus one, so that's a 21.
ZanrosSo again persuade Theo, pinball Theo seriously, it's going to take us forever to get through here If you know, something. Could you please just tell us? You're such a piece of crap.
AndrewHe pays no mind to your minor insult.
CatherineI mean, that was off to the side. He wasn't supposed to hear. That, exactly, was off to the side.
AndrewHe wasn't supposed to hear that Exactly. He didn't hear you.
FableHe wasn't supposed to hear that why.
AndrewHe didn't hear the insult part.
CatherineNo, during the persuasion. At the end I called him a useless piece of crap, but I did it real low under my voice.
AndrewThat's right. So he did not hear that Right Because he's got a hearing problem. What Exactly so? Theo says there are all sorts of hidden passages and secret halls down here that they put into place. He's like I'm not usually privy to where they are, but it shouldn't be that difficult to have you tried just pushing it open.
CatherineDal, do you want to try to just push it open? Sure, okay, do I got?
Andrewto do anything for that. Give me an athletics track.
FableAn athletics. Oh, check Athletics, I fucking got it. I got a two, I rolled a nat one Plus one. It's going very well.
AndrewSo you rolled a nat one. So what happens to Dal is Dal pushes and pushes and pushes up against this section of the wall. There's some dust and debris on the floor. Dal's not able to get a good, steady footing with her feet kind of slips and just falls to her knees and is not able to get the door open. Oh man.
ZanrosAny other ideas Theo?
AndrewWell, I guess, I mean I could try to give it a shot.
JamesYes, Equium, Just out of curiosity. I want to open the opposite. I want to open the actual other door.
AndrewOkay, it's locked, it's locked.
JamesIt's locked 's locked it's locked can anybody pick locks?
CatherineI don't think I can.
JamesI don't think I can. We have the keys from the the cells? Do they fit in the door?
AndrewGive me an investigation check on the keys 14. So there's a few keys on there so they look like they might fit. So you can certainly give it a try.
Speaker 4Okay, and so you can certainly give it a try Okay, so you're going to try the.
JamesYeah, I'll just go through them one by one.
AndrewSo you fiddle with the keys. A couple of the keys just don't even fit in the lock. One of them finally fits in, you turn it. Doesn't quite move it. Try another key. That one finally fits, you turn it and it does unlock this door. Would you like to open the door or what would you like to do?
JamesSo now that the door's unlocked, yes, can I turn around to the other wall where the? I just want to know if that door is unlocked or open, if I can go through the wall.
AndrewAnd give it another athletics check.
JamesSure Okay, because, why not? Because it can only. The worst that it can mean is comedy 15. 12.
AndrewAgain you've got difficulty. It feels like something should happen, but nothing is quite happening. Anyone, hi, hi, you doing anything?
CatherineNope, I've tried threatening Theo Pimble. I've jumped at the door. What?
Fableelse would you like to do? I could try the door again.
AndrewTry the door again, give it another.
FableThe wolf pack was wishing me a happy Pride month, so I had to respond.
AndrewVery nice.
FableIt's funny because the only one that's not gay is Gia. She's working double time this month.
CatherineWhat if we what?
Andrewthe fuck What'd? You get An eight.
CatherineNo, what if we all try pushing it at the same time?
FableCombine our rolls.
AndrewSo do that. So all of you roll an athletics check and let's just combine the rolls.
FableOh, of course, I get a 20 this time I got a 20.
JamesOh my god 17 minus three, I got 14. Oh my God, 17 minus three, I got 14.
AndrewOkay so you all, you all, you all push on the door together and it just flies. It just flies right, right open.
CatherineTeamwork makes the dream work. Look at that.
AndrewSo which, which direction would you like to go? So you now have an unlocked door to your clowns. To the left, you jokers. To the right again. You got the unlocked door to the right. You got this secret hall passage entry to the left. Which way would you like to go?
JamesWell, I'm dying to see what was behind the locked door. Yeah, me too.
CatherineYou spent a lot of time on that door.
AndrewI want to know the locked door or the secret door, the secret door you want to go through.
JamesIquia wants to go through the locked door. I want to go through the locked door because, admittedly, I'm looking at the map and it looks like a small room.
CatherineDon't split the party because I'm like I'm going through the secret door.
AndrewIt's up to you. Which way would you like to go door?
FableIt's up to you. Which way would you like to go?
JamesI'm going with bumble bumble. I mean, this was a locked door. That's what I'm saying.
CatherineRight right, there's very little behind it.
JamesMaybe there's something in there that would help us.
CatherineAlright, I mean, it's not like the secret door is going to close now that we've gotten it open, or is it?
Speaker 4I don't know.
CatherineLook at his secret door is going to close now that we've gotten it open or is it?
Speaker 4I don't know.
JamesLook at his face. Look at his face. It won't close. He wants it to.
CatherineHe does, Don't give me ideas. He's like you go through the locked door and the secret door closes.
JamesThat's why I opened the locked door, because I thought, oh, maybe it has something to do with it.
AndrewOkay, so you're all going to go through the locked door? Sure, so you walk into this room. What appears to be an armory. Racks of weapons line the walls of this chamber, including spears, swords, crossbows and bolts. A dozen dirty red cloaks hang from hooks by the door. A dozen dirty red cloaks hang from hooks by the door, clearly. So give me a perception. Check someone, or all of you. I think my perception's like a five.
FableYeah, I'll do it 21.
JamesIt's not me.
CatherineNot you 17.
Andrew21. It's not me, not you 17. Okay, so, unbeknownst to Zanros, but knownst to the rest of you.
Speaker 4Knownst, knownst.
AndrewLove it. So clearly the red brands are planning something, because they're amassing quite a cache of weapons here, because they're amassing quite a cache of weapons here. So you know they've got bigger plans than what's already been going on.
CatherineWhat kind of weapons Anything we want to take.
AndrewSure, so the racks hold. So you kind of take an inventory visually. The racks hold 12 spears, 6 short swords, 4 long swords, 6 light crossbows and 8 quivers holding 20 crossbow bolts each.
Speaker 4Wait.
AndrewWhat's that? I missed some of that, that's all right. 12 spears, 6 short swords, 4 long swords, 6 light crossbows and 8 quivers holding 20 crossbow bolts each. Now you notice some of the weapons are not just common weapons. They're especially well made. There is a short sword whose pommel and guard are set with semi-precious stones and two matched crossbows whose woodwork is inlaid with silver. You're able to determine that if you sold those, they would be worth more than your standard weapon.
FableOr it could be girl bosses who have matching crossbows as we slay our enemies.
CatherineDefinitely do that, could do that.
FableProbably not financially wise, but fun nonetheless, like most things.
Speaker 4Mm-hmm.
JamesSo it's one of the short swords. That's a jewel.
AndrewOne of the short swords and two of the crossbows are matched. There's a matched set of crossbows who have the inlaid silver in the woodwork. What Cool, yes. What cool, yes. What would you like to do? Snag them okay, who's who is snagging what?
Catherineso here's what I would suggest what would you suggest? You guys take whatever it is you want. Whatever's left, I'm gonna sell For the B&B Okay.
AndrewWhat you could do is you could set up a good game of Of lawn darts with those crossbow bolts.
ZanrosExcellent, you could have some fun activities. Set up a good game of lawn darts with those crossbow bolts.
AndrewExcellent, you could have some fun activities for the visitors of the B&B. You could do like LARPing. You could host LARPs on the weekends.
CatherineWho doesn't want to host LARPs?
JamesDAL is proficient with a crossbow, so maybe they should. Yeah, if you two want to take the crossbows, then I'll take the short sword, because I can use a short sword I can't use.
CatherineA long sword would be too heavy for you, right oh?
Jamesthanks.
CatherineStrength yeah, just stating facts excellent, okay, so.
AndrewSo equium is going to keep the bejeweled short sword and dal and zanros are going to take the matching crossbows.
JamesYeah, and I definitely think you guys should take all the arrows.
CatherineYeah, absolutely.
AndrewYeah Well, there are eight quivers, so I don't know how many quivers you want to try to carry at once, but each one's got 20 crossbow bolts in it, so that's a pretty hefty amount for one quiver. You can always come back and get more if you run out while you're down here.
FableBecause it is going to be the B&B.
AndrewRight.
FableIt's not like they're going anywhere About one for now.
CatherineIs this a heavy or a light crossbow?
AndrewIt's a light crossbow.
FableIs it any special one or just normal light crossbow? Just a normal light crossbow. Is it any special one or just normal?
Andrewlight crossbow. Just a normal light crossbow, okay, just prettier than most. It's decorative.
JamesCan I do an arcana check on this short sword?
AndrewYes, you may 13 it's a really pretty looking short sword.
JamesYes, it's shimmery it's shimmery yes shimmery, a twilight vampire, or just like you know, Shimmery like Edward in the sun of the Pacific Northwest.
AndrewWhat was that, Zanros?
JamesNothing. I'm going to be really honest Nothing I'm going to be really honest. It's probably going to. People are going to write in about me hating Twilight vampires, but anyway, I said what I said.
AndrewI think most people in here are Team Jacob. There you go, wolfpack.
JamesWolfpack, wolfpack, I have a dire wolf.
AndrewExactly, so clearly we know where this party stands.
CatherineIt's really funny because everybody hates Jacob and I'm like eh. They're both really problematic, yeah.
AndrewYeah, they are.
CatherineJacob imprints on a baby. Yeah, gross.
FableFucking weird. Yeah, gross Fucking weird.
AndrewYeah.
CatherineYou said it. I mean I can use one of my healing potions right, you've got many healing potions as well, but yes, Do we want to waste one?
Fableif I could just heal both of us right now.
CatherineI mean, if you can do it sure.
FableI can. All right, it's 1d8 plus 6,. So Ooh can, all right it's 1d8 plus 6, so Ooh.
CatherineSo should we be back to full health?
AndrewWhat is that? Spare the dying? No.
FableWhy would I? You can only do that if you're.
CatherineI'm not dying.
AndrewYeah.
FablePicture of health.
AndrewWhich spell are you casting?
FableCure wounds. How many spell slots have you already used? This would only be my first one, because I've been using cantrips.
AndrewOkay, so you're going to use Cure Wounds twice. That uses up two of your three spell slots.
FableI can oh shit.
CatherineI can just use my healing potion. I have multiples.
Character Equipment and Hit Points Update
FableIf I did Bless I could get both of us. But what does a healing potion get you.
AndrewIt's 1d4 plus. Look it up, don't you have it in your inventory?
CatherineYeah.
AndrewI do. I don't recall the it's 1d4 plus 2?.
CatherineSo 2d4 plus 2.
AndrewAre these potions of greater healing or just potions of healing?
CatherinePotion of healing Okay.
AndrewYeah, 2d4 plus 2. Yeah.
JamesOkay, okay, potion of healing. Okay, yeah, 2d4 plus 2. Yeah, five, six, seven. Okay, I'm back to full strength, nice. So the other thing and I forgot to mention this one we started because I know that previously, I, because I have the invocation and I cashed mage armor on both myself and Zanros, because you don't wear armor right? No, so yeah.
CatherineDon't you badass for armor.
JamesWell, it becomes your base. Ac becomes 13, plus your dexterity modifier, which I know is really high.
CatherineNo, my dexterity is only like oh, it's plus four.
AndrewPlus four yeah.
CatherineAcrobatics is plus six though, so, like you know, but, what I prefer, that I prefer the plus six is all I'm saying.
JamesNo, but this doesn't, this doesn't take away from here.
CatherineNo, I know saying no, but this doesn't, this doesn't take away from your no, I know no, yeah, I'm just saying I would prefer everything to be plus six. Well, who wouldn't? Who I know? But like, why are you looking so confused?
AndrewI'm like what does the plus six have to do with anything with your ac?
Jameslike, okay then I know right, this is, this is yeah, so as far as anything being plus whatever, I'm just saying I think the ultimate quest item for Equium would be a belt of Storm, giant strength.
AndrewAnyway, got it. Well, don't forget, you have those items. Which items?
CatherineI have the Cape of Enlargement.
AndrewYou've got the staff. I have the staff. Yeah, You've got the staff.
FableI fell, but it's the Lightbringer. It's a mace.
AndrewNice.
CatherineAnd you've got Staff of.
AndrewDefense.
CatherineYes.
AndrewYes, so you're healed. Have you updated your hit points? Yes, yes, all right, so you're healed. Have you updated your hit points? Yes, excellent, excellent, everybody good, dal. Did you update your hit points, dal? I did not. What. I did not, okay, we'll see how it goes. You're just going to wing it, okay. Yeah, we'll see how it goes. You're just gonna wing it, okay, so, so are you going through the secret door now? Secret door, secret door and now again in what order are you going through this door secret?
Fabledoor. In what order are you going through this door? Secret door.
CatherineDo we send Callie through first? Yeah, okay, callie, I'll go right behind Callie. Then Theo Pimble, human shield.
FableCallie roll percentage die oh no last, because I'm the tallest, and yet also, you'll be ahead of the prisoners right, because they're following us around the prisoners are following you makeup, boy and makeup
Catherineboy makeup, brand makeup. I get my eyeliner from the dollar tree NARS.
Speaker 4NARS is a makeup brand, I don't know makeup yes, I get my eyeliner from the Dollar Tree. 54.
AndrewUh oh, rip Callie.
FableYou can't be serious.
CatherineCan we save Callie? How do we save Callie? Look at James' face, you dick.
AndrewI'm so fucking with you.
FableI know right.
JamesI'm now going to Eldritch Blast everything. No.
CatherineZandros puts on the cape of enlargement.
JamesYou can call me Baba Yaga. Okay, baba Yaga.
AndrewOkay.
CatherineBaba Yaga comes at night.
AndrewSo you all enter this room, this just appears to be a, this just appears to be a, this just appears to be a storeroom. So there's just a lot of the stuff that you assume that the red brands have been stealing and taking, and this is kind of where they store all this. This area is the north end of a large natural cavern, but this part of it has been finished with stone block walls and a flagstone floor. There's several barrels up against the walls, some empty crates, straw for packing hammers, pry bars, nails, so it's kind of like a UPS store, an old-timey UPS store. The cavern continues for some distance to the south. You can make out several passages that open off of the larger cavern and what looks like a deep pit or crevasse in the floor. What would you like to do?
JamesCan we search the crates and stuff? You, we search the crates and stuff.
AndrewYou may search the crates and stuff. Give me an investigation check.
JamesCertainly.
AndrewDoes anybody else want to?
Jamesdo an investigation.
AndrewObviously we're nosy Okay.
CatherineIt's my B&B, that's a 12. Oh 15. Four what are my rules today? Mine?
Fablesuck.
AndrewSo most of the stuff here is not very it's a very little value. However, there is a pile of beaver pelts that are worth about two gold pieces each. How?
Jamesmany beaver pelts are there. So I know that you said like old-timey general store. But this is not a Bucky's by any chance, is it?
AndrewIt's not Okay. Nor is it a Cracker Barrel. There's a gift shop. There's a gift shop while you wait to eat.
CatherineDid they skin the former?
Fableproprietors oh my god, how many beaver pelts say they're worth.
AndrewI would say there's probably about 40.
Speaker 4Wow Okay.
AndrewBeaver pelts. It's a lot of beaver.
JamesThat's a lot of beaver, that's a lot.
AndrewThere's a lot. You walk in here and you go. It smells like beaver. Oh my God, sorry.
Speaker 4Instead of singing the song, I'm cracking myself up.
JamesInstead of?
CatherineAre you 48 or four?
JamesYes, so I'm 12.
AndrewYeah, are you 48 or four? Yes, I'm 12.
CatherineYeah.
JamesWell, we could start singing the song you Give Me Fever, except replace it with it Smells Like Beaver. Oh, no Beaver In the morning, oh, my God, beaver in the afternoon.
AndrewOh my, I found some beaver. Wow.
JamesWe were both Wow you and I are both like nine-year-olds, with the enthusiasm of a nine-year-old that's been given $100 to go into a 7-Eleven.
AndrewRight, oh my God. Snacks on a road trip, oh my God. Or like two adults, let loose and packed, unplugged.
JamesExactly.
AndrewIt's the same Same thing.
JamesSame, absolutely the same, as Catherine's ready to hit her head against the mic.
AndrewCatherine's like please, no, this is my life.
JamesIt's like what have we done? We invited James here.
AndrewSo what would you like to do? Does somebody want to take the beaver pelts?
CatherineThat's a lot of beaver pelts to carry.
AndrewYou know you could use those beaver pelts for the B&B.
CatherineThat's true.
FableWe should just leave them in here for later B&B use, though it can get you 80 gold If I need it, yeah.
CatherineBut I'd have to spend how much on blankets, rugs things I could use beaver pelts for. Right.
JamesWhat.
AndrewIt's not that big enough for a blanket, the Bumble, bumble, bee and Beaver.
CatherineThey are.
AndrewShe didn't hear that one. I heard it the Bembo, bombo Bee and Beaver.
CatherineAm I supposed to dignify that with a response?
AndrewYes, you're supposed to find that very funny.
Speaker 4Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha ha. Thank you, I'll take a pity laugh.
AndrewI will take a pity laugh. What, thank you. I'll take a pity laugh. I will take a pity laugh. What would you like to do? So there's not much in this area. Again, it's finished. It's a storage kind of shipping prep area.
CatherineIn the immortal words of Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear. I think we should be moving right along Footloose andzie Bear. Yes, I think we should be moving right along Footloose and fancy free.
AndrewYes, it's not easy being green, no, so you want to head south?
JamesYes.
AndrewInto the crevasse. Into the crevasse.
JamesYeah.
CatherineI was going to say this looks dangerous. Into the crevasse, Into the crevasse. Yeah, I was going to say this looks dangerous.
JamesI, yeah, I think we should go, because we're not. Yeah, let's go south. And is that like a little rope bridge that we see?
AndrewSo I will tell you that. So there's, as you walk into this area, you feel a cold breeze softly blowing through the natural cavern, carrying the faint scent of decaying flesh. What?
Zanrosthe hell am I going to do with this?
AndrewA crevasse with sloped walls divides the cavern and is flanked by two rough stone columns that support the 20 foot high ceiling.
ZanrosDo we make this into a swimming pool? What the hell am I gonna?
Andrewdo Two arched wooden bridges span the chasm?
FableMineral water sauna, there we go.
CatherineRight, it's a natural.
FableA natural spring.
CatherineThere we go.
JamesLet's move.
AndrewSo yes, so yes. What would you like to do?
JamesOther than those features you've described, it's essentially an empty room.
AndrewThere's no one or nothing else in here that we can see.
FableNothing or no one that you can see. It's been all through here, correct?
JamesThis part.
FableYeah.
AndrewWe could. So where do you want to go in this? So you're at the northern end of this area.
JamesLet's go see what that. Let's go across the first bridge To the west, going from east to west.
AndrewBefore you get to the bridge, James, roll me a perception check 11.
CatherineOh, dude, that's creepy oh dude, that's creepy Okay.
AndrewYou're the only person that can hear this.
FableI don't know, I think I'm hearing it.
AndrewYou're not hearing it.
CatherineI'm glad I'm not hearing it, because that's scary as hell.
AndrewYou feel as though something is trying to communicate with you. You feel something in your head, but you can't quite place what it is.
Speaker 4I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
JamesI is what I'm hearing is their discernible language. Are they just?
AndrewWhat languages do you speak?
Andrewcommon and dwarvish, and my pact is with the great old one you can't, you can't quite make out words or feelings, but it doesn't. It doesn't feel aggressive. Okay, it's more, it's more questioning it's. You don't. You don't feel anything aggressive about this. You feel, you feel like it's just kind of like in your head, but you don't, you don't feel it's not threatening to you. You can't understand what's what's being said or what's what's going on, but it's not, it's not threatening to you, so it's not threatening, okay, but I know for sure that I'm only hearing it in my head.
JamesI don't know if they're Well. I asked them if they hear anything.
ZanrosHuh, nope, why are you hearing things?
FableMaybe Natural gas leak in here.
ZanrosAh shit, how much is that gonna cost oh.
Speaker 4I Hmm.
AndrewSo so clearly they don't.
CatherineZanros and Dal don't hear. This Does.
JamesTheo Pimble hear it. I'll ask Theo Pimble what he knows. He hears voices or has heard voices in this room.
AndrewI've never been in this room this part before. I've never heard voices. Are you hearing it in your head? Where are you hearing these voices?
JamesI'm just asking if you've ever heard voices in this room never.
AndrewI've never heard voices in this room because you've never been in this room. I've never heard voices anywhere. No, I've not been in this room, but I've never heard voices anywhere in this other than fellow red brands or prisoners. I haven't heard anything kind of out of the ordinary.
JamesWe heard this just as we came.
Speaker 4Just as we came in the room.
JamesThe Doppler effect is real Equium, equium. Yeah, some more Equium.
Speaker 4Equium, equium, equium.
AndrewJust as you enter this area is when you first Okay.
ZanrosDon't forget to drink your oval tea.
AndrewAn advertisement. Oh fudge.
JamesOkay, so, and now a word from our sponsor, true Crime. Stories of the Rift.
AndrewAnd just as quickly as it came, you stop hearing it. Okay, what would you like to do?
JamesI'm going to go across that bridge. I'm going to go across the bridge the northern bridge. Correct the northern bridge. Yes, Okay.
ZanrosDo you think I could make more? Money if I market this as a haunted B&B. People love to stay in haunted places.
FableI've heard a Cyrus Zack vegan. Would you?
JamesSo I see this passage to the north.
AndrewYes, you see that passage.
JamesI want to go in there. I'm la, la, la, la, la. Now are we going to take, now Are we going to take Myrna and Nils and Nars with us this whole?
Catherinetime, mm-hmm. Well, we can't let them leave, and I don't think it's safe to just leave them sitting somewhere.
JamesRight, because they'd be discovered. Yeah, so they're going to live. We could hide them in the cistern Mm-hmm. Give them little hollow reeds.
AndrewYep totally.
CatherineRedburns are pretty stupid. They probably wouldn't notice.
ZanrosPut a cape on them, oh yeah.
JamesNo, I got it.
CatherineOkay.
JamesWe make big sign boards Opening soon, bimble bomble, b&b and they can have arrows and they can flip the arrow Sign spinners.
AndrewAbsolutely yes. You have them throughout town all pointing up toward Trescender Manor. That's what they'll do. I think that's a fantastic idea, yeah.
CatherineAs we're taking them with us.
AndrewMarketing. I think that's a fantastic idea, as we're taking them with us Marketing. So you want to go through that passageway in the northwest. Okay, is everybody going with?
CatherineYes.
AndrewOkay.
CatherineWe're not going to split the party. Always a bad idea to split the party yeah, so is that.
JamesIs that a staircase up or down? That I see it looks?
Andrewdown, it's not down so, yes, there's a set of stairs descending down. Looks down, is that down? So, yes, there's a set of stairs descending down into a small hallway. There is a door to the north and a door to the south.
FableShould we just get this one out of the way first?
JamesYeah, let's go to the door to the north.
AndrewJust keep going after it. You're going to the north, you're going to the north, so you're just opening the door and going in.
JamesI'll listen at the door.
AndrewYou'll listen at the door, so give me a perception check 16. You hear faint bubbling and dripping sounds through the door.
CatherineIs that all we hear?
JamesIs the door. I tried the door handle, is it.
AndrewIt's unlocked. It's unlocked.
JamesUm, I'll proceed very slowly through the door.
AndrewThe room appears to be a wizard's workshop. A large work table is set up with all sorts of devices for making chemicals and other things, all of them stewing and bubbling away. Bookshelves are crowded with sheaves of parchment and strange-looking tomes.
JamesI okay, so I okay, so other than the scripture of context, there's no, there's no one we can see here correct. I am going to do. I'm going to investigate and see what I can find. Oh, so 13.
Andrew13. 13. So you look at all the books and the notes and everything. They're basic texts on alchemy. Do an arcana check.
JamesSix Six.
AndrewSo you can tell whoever is doing this. Is brewing up something is brewing up something, but you cannot determine what it is. They're trying to kind of brew up here in this process.
Speaker 4Okay.
AndrewWhat languages do you speak again?
JamesCommon and Dwarvish.
AndrewOkay, so you recognize that there's a book written in Dwarvish Okay.
ZanrosSo you recognize that there's a book written in.
AndrewDwarvish. Oh, it's the Journal of an Adventurer named Irman. It describes the history of the Lost Mine of Phandelver and the Forge of Spells.
JamesForge of Spells. The Forge of Spells is it like a leather bound cover or is it an?
Andrewillustrated cover. It is leather bound. It is very utilitarian. It's just a just a journal. Um, as you're reading it some of some of things it talks about. More than 500 years ago, clans of dwarves and gnomes made an agreement known as the Phandelver Pact, by which they would share a rich mine in a wondrous cavern known as Wave Echo Cave. In addition to its mineral wealth, the mine contained great magical power. Human spellcasters allied themselves with dwarves and gnomes to channel and bind that energy into a great forge called the Forge of Spells, where magic items could be crafted.
FableWhat did I say about Mineral Spring?
AndrewTimes were good and the nearby town of Phandalin prospered as well. But disaster struck when bandits swept through the north and laid waste to all in their path. A powerful bandit force, reinforced by evil mercenary wizards, attacked the wave echo cave to seize its riches and magic treasures. Human wizards fought alongside their dwarf and gnome allies to defend the forge of spells, and the ensuing spell battle destroyed much of the cavern. Few survived the cave-ins and tremors, and knowledge of the location of Wave Echo Cave was lost.
CatherineUh-oh.
AndrewForever Forever Forever Ever.
CatherineAnybody hear that. No, and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever, and ever and ever.
AndrewAnd ever and ever, perhaps. Question mark.
ZanrosOr was?
Andrewit, or was it, or was it. So that is what you learned by, that is the knowledge that you gained by reading the journal.
Speaker 4Hmm.
JamesI will communicate it to Zanros. Sure, yeah, so this is a place that we can forge stuff. It's the forge of spells and it was created. Gnomes and dwarves came down here, found wave Echo Cave, and the location of it has been lost, but it contains a thing called spells. So what about what else can I find in here as far as materials or, you know, parchment for spells, ink, stuff like that?
AndrewCertainly so. Most of the materials in this room have have little to no value. You do discover three bottles that you recognize. What, what the contents are of those bottles? One contains mercury, One contains dragon bile and one contains powdered nightshade. The value of these are worth 25 gold pieces each to an apothecary or alchemist.
CatherineYes.
AndrewZanros, I have nothing to say, but you're laughing.
CatherineI am.
AndrewAbout what? None of your business. None of, I'm sorry. What are you laughing about?
CatherineI'm just watching a woman being attacked by a goose.
FableIs it the one? I think it is.
CatherineThe one where she gets in the car and it follows her in Wow, what Okay.
AndrewPause in action.
CatherineOkay, so this guy has pulled up. Oh, I've seen this being attacked by the goose.
JamesYeah, A goose is just a world-ending event waiting to happen. Okay, this is weird. Oh, my God, it's in the car.
FableOh shit, that's funny.
CatherineYeah, okay, you want to see this one. Have you seen this one? I think?
AndrewI'm sure I've seen this. Yes, I've seen this Very funny.
CatherineWhen it gets in the car?
AndrewYes, oh yeah.
JamesSo I don't know. I probably sent you some now and again. I think Andrew knows that I'm always the you know on forums and stuff people go. Well, you know, I need a good you know.
CatherineI need a good you know.
JamesI need a good monster to send out after my party and I'm like, make it a goose A goose and give it the stats of a Tarrasque and have it follow the party forever.
CatherineWell, you know, Andrew had an unfortunate run-in with a goose as a child.
AndrewIn Van Zandt Park. I was attacked. I was attacked by a goose In Van Zandt Park.
CatherineI am positive I was attacked by a goose In Van Zandt Park. I am positive, you provoked the goose.
AndrewHow could I, as a child, provoke a goose?
CatherineI can think of many ways you could provoke a goose. Were you chasing the goose?
AndrewNo, Did you throw something at the?
Catherinegoose. Did you look at the goose wrong?
AndrewI was jumped, I was minding my own business.
CatherineAs you are so wont to do.
AndrewAs I always.
CatherineI think of Andrew, I think minding my own.
FableWhat was that picture last night Looking out the window?
CatherineOh yeah, Looking out the window at the cops. I sent Fable a picture of you on the sofa staring out the window at the police activity outside.
JamesWhat was the police activity?
CatherineOh my god, it was good.
ZanrosSo I come down the stairs.
JamesSo can you blame him? It was good, oh no it was great.
CatherineI come down the stairs, I look out the little window in the door. I see no fewer than six cars parked on the street, all with their lights on.
AndrewI'm like what's going on? This is weird.
CatherineThen I see cops like on either side of the car, in the front, then there's no one in the car, but the cops are searching the car and I'm like this is so fun. Then rachel comes home from across the street and says one of our neighbors, and then the truck was towed. So oh my Mm-hmm. It went on for a long time too.
FableAnd I missed all of it. Yeah, I know I'm so annoyed. All right, sorry, one time I leave the house.
CatherineTangent, so I've shown you Okay, so we could sell some stuff to the apothecary.
JamesYes, james, I just want to make sure that like now that I know that you were attacked by a goose, you've either got to think that I'm just the biggest asshole for sending you all these goose things Because it's to me, it's a running, it's a running bit that.
AndrewI think it's hysterical.
JamesLike I have been. I was by Ringwood Manor and there was a whole flock of geese and they were walking across the road and I had a big truck horn in my truck at that time and I hit the horn and three geese just went like this they spread their wings as wide as possible to cover the flock and they all honked at me and I'm like, oh, I'm just going to sit here until they're done, because that is absolutely aggressive.
JamesThey heard about you yeah, plus, I have a theory that canadian geese, or better known as cobra, death chickens, um contain all the negativity of canadians. That's why canadians are so nice, because they infuse their geese with all their negative emotions and then they send them to america. You know? Send them out yes, spread their evil yes it's a good theory.
FableI'd subscribe.
JamesI subscribed to that and I mean look, the motto of canadians has always been it's only a war crime the second time around. So there's a certain duality of that you know like you know, indeed, the sweet love of maple syrup versus death chickens. You know, cobra death chickens willing to commit war crimes. So there you go. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. And Skether just shakes her head.
AndrewAll right, are we ready to continue? Yes, okay, so that's everything that you can see in here in this room the journal Yep and the three bottles of of items. So what you notice in this room. Again, that that's everything in this room. There's the door that you came through and there's a door on the eastern wall to the right.
CatherineWe're starting to run out of places to go and so far we've only run into three red brands, which means I feel like we're coming up for a big battle.
JamesSee, I mean, I guess the question that I'm asking is that we ran into how many in the cistern. It was like two or three there.
AndrewThere was about, there was about three in the in that room, room behind the cistern.
JamesYeah.
AndrewYou ran into the, the skeletons.
CatherineOh, I forgot about the skeleton.
AndrewThe skeletons in the crypt. Right there's the three red brands in the in the in the jail in the in the jail, in the jail, the holding cells um and then and that's the three the three that we killed in the sleeping giant, or the right, right, right, right, unruly orc. Yes, yeah, the surly orc the surly orc yes, I just feel like.
CatherineI just feel like the farther into this we get, the more dangerous it's about to get um okay. So farther into this we get, the more dangerous it's about to get Um okay, so we've got a door, we can either basically, yeah, you're like you're talking. Oh sorry, I well I'm looking at the map, yeah, so, uh, we can go out the way we came, or we can go through this other little door. So there's a door to the east and then there's the door we came through.
JamesLet's go to the door, to the east.
CatherineOkay, should we listen at it before we try to open it?
JamesYeah, does anybody have a better investigation than I do? I think mine's a plus one.
FableYeah, same.
CatherineUh, yeah's a plus one, yeah, same. Uh, yeah, just a plus one. Yeah, let's listen at the door. I mean we could all roll Four and that's why.
Speaker 4Twenty, seventeen, I'm sorry, twenty 17.
AndrewI'm sorry 20. Okay, okay. You're listening up against the door, mm-hmm, and you really don't hear anything going on inside.
CatherineOkay, should I try the door handle?
ZanrosYeah.
CatherineAlright, try the door handle.
AndrewThe door opens. Sitting at the desk in this room, you see, is a short, dark-bearded human man in robes studying a tome. He wears a princely mantle and his boots, gloves and robes are trimmed in fur. He's got the boots with the fur he's got the boots with the fur, the boots with the fur, with the fur.
CatherineIs he wearing Apple bottom jeans?
AndrewGive me an investigation check.
CatherineCertainly.
JamesYeah, I'll investigate, okay.
CatherineOh no, mine's lame Three What'd you say a 16?, 16. James got a 16. Is lame Three? What did you say? A 16? James?
Andrewgot a 16. You notice, kind of right on the waistband of his pants there's a little leather patch and it says AB on it. Nice, nice, alright.
CatherineWell, I went in first. Right, or I'm going in first.
AndrewNice.
CatherineNice All right. Well, I went in first right, or I'm going in first.
ZanrosExcuse me? Who's there? Who the hell are you? I'm Zanros Bumble Bumble. This is my family's home. What are you doing? You a squatter?
AndrewAllow me to introduce myself.
ZanrosPretty sure that's what I asked.
AndrewI am the one known as Glass Staff.
ZanrosOh, Jesus Christ Cool.
AndrewYour reputation precedes you. What, what are?
Zanrosyou doing here in my hideout, your hideout. This is my house, the Zandros Bumble Bumble B&B. The Bumble Bumble family has owned this home forever. I don't know why you think that you have any claim to it but get the hell out before I get madder.
AndrewHe's narrowing his eyes. Are you trying to intimidate?
Speaker 4I mean.
ZanrosNo, I'm saying get the hell out. You can take that However you want.
AndrewHe just stands there and stares at you.
CatherineOkay. Well Then I'm gonna take out my quarterstaff Now. I'm trying to intimidate him.
AndrewSo roll for intimidation.
Speaker 4Ah, oh no.
CatherineFour.
AndrewOh, little one what did you call me? You're the little one. Oh my God.
CatherineCan I whistle for Callie?
JamesI sent Callie in. I'm like this is not going to go well.
AndrewWhat is Callie doing? Is Callie intimidating, attacking what is Callie doing? Is Callie intimidating, attacking what is Callie doing?
JamesI would say Intimidating, I would say she goes to knock him down. Intimidating, I would say she goes to knock him down. So technically I guess that's an attack. But she's yeah, I would say. She goes in the room and she's approaching him very closely and breathing heavily on him, like baring her teeth. That's what I would say.
AndrewSo you want to try to intimidate Glass? That's a roll for intimidation 18.
FableWho won at Glass Staff Dad Uh, the mining lady.
CatherineUh, was that Lion Shield Coster or I don't know?
JamesUh, if it was the lady, I'd be less likely to want to hurt him.
FableI believe it was the lady.
CatherineNo, it was that woman. What's her face? She wanted us to kill Glass.
FableDoctor.
Speaker 4The lady at the mining guild. Yeah, the mining lady. Yeah, Actually as so, yes, the mining lady.
JamesYeah, actually as. So.
AndrewYes.
JamesCallie rolled an 18.
AndrewYes.
JamesAnd I'm going to say look, lady at the mining guild wants you dead. Why does she want you dead? Because I don't really like her.
AndrewAll she wants is power. She wants me out of the way so she can take over. And what do you want?
ZanrosAll I want is you out of my house.
AndrewThat's going to cost you.
ZanrosMy house. You can go out alive or you can go out dead, either way.
AndrewI'd like to see you try.
ZanrosI'd be happy to Master of the Arcane Arts.
JamesWhat is it that you want? James is trying so hard to get me out of this. What is it that you want? Glass Staff I'm really being upfront with you. Spellcaster to spellcaster.
AndrewInitiative Initiative Initiative 16.
CatherineInitiative Roll for initiative let's go 14.
AndrewOne second, Xanros 16.
ZanrosYep.
AndrewDal 14. 14. Iquium, 18. 18. Oh my, oh God. 18. Oh my oh god. This is one where Iquium has the advantage.
ZanrosSpellcaster against Spellcaster.
AndrewOkay, equium, you are up first.
JamesI am going to, yeah, I want to hurt him good first, so I'm going to cast Dissonant Whispers.
AndrewOkay.
JamesHe has to make a wisdom saving throw 16. Uh, he saves.
ZanrosSix points of damage. Dang damn it Six points Mm-hmm, six points okay, okay 18
Andrewand 18 will hit and 11 points of damage 11 okay 11 okay okay um that it brings us up is that your turn.
JamesThat's my turn, that is your turn, zanros.
CatherineI've already got my quarterstaff out, so let's do this.
AndrewRight on what to roll with, because they're all rolling so shitty today.
CatherineThat is 21. No 23. 23.
Andrew20. Is that not 20 or? 17 plus six, oh geez. Well, you definitely, you definitely are going to hit glass staff.
CatherineYeah, I'm going to go for the knees, yeah.
AndrewOkay.
CatherineDon't want to strain myself, so I'm just going to kneecap him.
AndrewOkay.
FableDon't you mean de-kneekap?
AndrewGo ahead.
CatherineOh, I'm sorry, he's got information. I am so tired of you already. Then she takes the quarterstaff and just whams him in the legs right in the knees.
AndrewFor how many points?
Catherineof damage. We shall see, I don't know. Six oh so five.
AndrewZanrose yes. Oh so five Zanros, yes, how would you?
Catherinelike to do this. Okay, so he's going to go down on his knees because I just slammed him so hard in the knees with this quarterstaff, and then I'm going to take the quarterstaff and slam him in the back of the head with it.
AndrewWow. So you whack him right in the knees. He drops to his knees. Yep, you take another swing. Yep, hit him in the back of the head. He was already weakened, he was already losing a lot of blood, because Callie had done so much piercing damage to him that he was already losing a lot of blood, so he was already very faint. So with that hit to the back of the head, you just crushed his skull and he just falls forward, face first, right under the floor and is completely dead.
FableHey, you didn't even let me have a hit on him sorry, dude master of the arcane arts.
ZanrosNicely done still squishy as hell yep.
CatherineJames is like he had information. I know he did cause, isn't he? James is like he had information, I know he did when he does.
JamesBecause, isn't he? Yeah, I just I think because she wants her dead. And he just said she just wants power.
CatherineI didn't like her, but I liked him less.
AndrewWas there more to the story? Perhaps Damn it, you will never know.
JamesCan you speak with that head?
AndrewDid somebody know the way to the Wave Echo Cave? Oh God, Perhaps.
JamesThey're officially murder, hobos.
AndrewHe also knew the way to San Jose, but that's another. Or Santa Fe, santa Fe not.
Speaker 4San Jose, santa Fe, san Jose or.
AndrewSanta Fe, Santa Fe, I'm not.
Speaker 4San Jose, santa Fe, san Jose or Santa Fe.
JamesSanta Fe yeah.
AndrewSanta Fe. I'm thinking about rent Wait.
ZanrosOkay, what.
CatherineNo, I'm just thinking.
Speaker 4What are you?
Catherinethinking, thinking about this I haven't found the bugbears yet. Maybe the bugbears know something. What are you looking up? I'm not looking up anything. I'm looking to see if I can talk to animals.
AndrewOh, can you talk to?
Catherineanimals? I don't think.
JamesI can. I'm just a very angry rock gnome. Wasn't it the bugbear with the?
Catherinegoblins. I thought there were bugbears in here.
FableI swear there were a couple of bugbears in here. Well, we did kill one.
CatherineYeah, we killed the one with the goblin, but there's at least two, I think. Is there only?
Jamesthe one bugbear.
AndrewSo I will tell you, there was mention of bugbears inside of Trescender Manor.
CatherineOkay. Oh, it's Halia Thornton. I couldn't find her name, that's. I think she's fine. I don't like her.
ZanrosI don't like her either, but I think she's better than Glasstaff.
CatherineWhy do you like him? Because he's a spellcaster Prejudiced against non-spellcasters.
JamesNo, no, but usually somebody Just the way she was made me very suspicious of her. It makes me very suspicious of her true motives and effectively she's running the town because Harbin Westers milk toast.
AndrewSo, now that you have this dead body in front of you, what would you like to do?
JamesLuke search, search the room, search his desk.
AndrewYou're good, so, equine, you're going to search, or who's who's doing what?
JamesI'm going to search, I'm going to do an investigation. Check this desk.
CatherineI'd like to rifle through his robes.
AndrewHe has nothing on his person.
ZanrosOkay.
AndrewOn the desk. Various papers and notes are stacked neatly on the desk, mostly consisting of his written orders to apothecaries and alchemists and nearby settlements for more materials for his workshop. However, you do also find a letter rolled up and sealed with a wax symbol in the shape of a spider.
ZanrosOh, no, oh.
CatherineHe was running the spider.
JamesHe's working with the spider.
CatherineI wonder how our friend is doing.
JamesOkay so, wait so it how our friend is doing. Okay, so wait so it's rolled up and it's sealed.
AndrewCorrect.
JamesIs there a wax seal anywhere in the desk?
AndrewGive me an investigation check.
JamesWell, I rolled an investigation, oh, you did so. No, there is not 19.
AndrewI just whatever there, there is no wax seal.
CatherineOh, so is it from the spider. He just hasn't read it yet. Read it.
AndrewRead it. Read it who would like to read it?
CatherineI'll read it.
FableDal.
AndrewOkay, dal, so you open up, you open up, you break the wax seal, correct, yes, correct. So give me a dexterity saving throw.
JamesNo, I'm just kidding, just kidding actually a poison seal would be quite quite right so you read the letter.
AndrewLord Albrecht, my spies in Neverwinter tell me that strangers are due to arrive in Phandalin. They could be working for the dwarves. Capture them if you can, kill them if you must, but don't allow them to upset our plans. See that any dwarven maps in their possession are delivered to me with haste. I'm counting on you, yarno, don't disappoint me.
JamesYarno.
CatherineAre we the strangers? I think we are.
JamesI think we are the strangers. But you know he's talking about Gundren and then any maps, because he had a map, because what's? Mcculloch said that he had a map. Sildar, sildar yeah, sildar had mentioned that Gundren had a map yes, someone give me a history check.
CatherineI'm plus 3 for history. I rolled a 15 17. I'm plus three for history. I rolled a 15. 17.
Andrew18. So, as Dal is reading this letter out loud, you all recognize this name. E Arno Albrecht.
JamesIf you recall, sildar mentioned this name Last staff is the leader of the Red Brands. Oh, you got the thing, because the spider has sent bugbears to reinforce the red brands.
CatherineOh, sildar is investigating the disappearance of Yarno Albrecht.
AndrewYes.
CatherineUh-huh.
FableOh, I think we can help him out with that. Oh, didn't we get 100 gold to get rid of Glass Staff? That's written down in my notes.
CatherineOh, is that what she was offering?
Fableus yeah.
JamesI don't think we should tell her, and then, right after that I wrote she has ulterior motives.
CatherineMm-hmm, we don't have to tell her he's dead, right? I don't think we should.
JamesMm-hmm.
AndrewAll right. So you've investigated the desk, you've looted the body and there was nothing there. What else would you like to do?
CatherineWhat else should we do?
JamesWhat else should we do? So we pretty much ensured that we've thoroughly searched his quarters. Is there any?
AndrewYou haven't thoroughly searched the quarters. You searched the body and you searched the desk.
JamesOkay, let's investigate the rest of the room.
FableThat would be a 21. For the room, that would be a 21 for the room I got a 17.
Catherine9.
AndrewSo you notice that there is a sturdy wooden chest at the foot of the bed.
CatherineOkay.
JamesIs it? I'll try to open it. Is it a keyed chest? Is it a padlock, or is it a?
AndrewIt appears to be unlocked.
JamesOkay.
AndrewYou sure you want to open it?
JamesI want to open it in a very specific way.
AndrewOkay.
JamesSo if this were the chest, I do not want to be in front of it.
AndrewOkay.
JamesI don't want anybody in front of it. Okay, I want to lift it in front of it. Okay, I want to lift it open from the side.
AndrewOkay yeah, give me a strength check Shit. I just love doing this to him.
JamesNine Twelve minus three it opens without any effort, nothing happens mean no, we we talked about this one Wednesday night and I'm like how is he even alive, right?
Andrewmagic and I'm like how is he even alive, Right Magic? So inside of this chest holds some of the best things that the red brands have stolen from people Over the past few months. Get your pens and paper out and it contains a hundred and eighty silver pieces okay 130 gold pieces 130 gold pieces 130 gold pieces, okay, and a silk pouch containing five gems worth a hundred or, sorry, worth 15 gold pieces each.
JamesFive gems Five gems 15 gold pieces 15 gold pieces each.
AndrewFive gems. Five gems, 15 gold pieces 15 gold pieces each.
CatherineThat's 75 gold.
AndrewIt also contains two scrolls.
Speaker 4Oh hello.
AndrewUpon further inspection, you see that it is a spell scroll of hold person and a spell scroll of fireball.
ZanrosYes.
JamesNice, how small is the room.
AndrewIt is small enough that a fireball would consume the in everything within the room.
ZanrosI will kill, you will kill you.
FableDon't make things worse than they are you know what that reminded me of what you just did. This is going to take me one second this place is already a ruin.
JamesIt's the ultimate Leroy Jenkins move, oh my god, oh yeah, everybody lives. Yes.
AndrewYes, exactly.
CatherineDo you want to watch my fat butt go? Over the dining room table at James, gotta do it able kiss forever that's right.
AndrewYou have successfully defeated glass staff. You have not finished clearing out tricender manor, aka the Red Brand Hideout. As you can see, there there's really three more areas left to explore, because you've got the two rooms to the south and you really haven't explored the crevasse tavern area.
FableDid we go down these steps or these?
JamesNo.
CatherineOr those. Well, because I don't see an obvious door there, so we might have to.
JamesIs it? We'd have to find out if it was accessible from somewhere else, because it's.
AndrewWhat's that? A staircase that you don't know? That's there.
JamesRight that we don't know. That's there.
AndrewRight.
JamesBecause clearly there's no passage to it, correct?
AndrewUnbeknownst to you, but knownst to me. Knownst to me but knownst to me, knownst to me Knownst to the DM. What languages do I speak? What?
Jameslanguages. Do you speak English and Spanish English and.
CatherineSpanish, not in real life, if you know both.
JamesYou can speak Spanglish, yes.
CatherineI mean, I could speak Spanglish. I probably speak something closer to Spanglish, you can Wait.
Fablewhere does it have my languages Proficient?
AndrewOn the main page, in the lower left corner, under proficiencies and languages.
CatherineElvish and Gnomish. Here's why I ask.
AndrewYes.
CatherineBecause I looked up bugbears, because I wanted to see if they're as cute as owlbears.
AndrewNo.
CatherineThey are not. They are not, and they speak a goblin language. Does anyone speak goblin?
AndrewDo they also speak common?
CatherineIt didn't say that. I don't know. Do they speak common?
FableI do not speak goblin.
JamesNo, I don't know do they speak common.
CatherineI do not speak no and the only thing I have that is grunts, snarls and gestures common okay, they do. Okay, they do speak common okay good to know. Dee, dee, dee Dee, can you speak to the bug bears? Um say hello bug bears. I am dd.
JamesLook how cute I am I have discovered something else, and I think it's when I took the invocations yes that I have. What did you discover? Devil's sight, devil's sight, so you can see, normally in darkness, both magical and non-magical, to a distance of 120 feet.
AndrewTo 120 feet Interesting.
JamesBecause I didn't have that when we encountered the goblins.
AndrewRight, right, because that was too dark for you to see.
JamesRight, right, right I had nothing at that point.
AndrewThis whole area is pretty well lit.
JamesIt's all lit up this place is lit, let's just really know where we can get low, low, low.
AndrewYes, you're all going to get low, so where would you like to go? So you are currently in the bedroom of Glass Staff. You've investigated that. You've investigated his workshop, okay.
JamesHave we tossed the bed and everything I mean? Have we?
AndrewYou can if you'd like. Sure Roll an investigation, check I'll investigate further. I dig up. Do you need help? So? So, as our friend here, iquium, is trying to lift the bed to look under it, he happens to throw his back out.
ZanrosOh no, why didn't you just wait for help, my god.
AndrewHe is now in crippling pain on the floor. Great Super. Someone wrote a critical fail, not me.
CatherineWhat do we have? Let's see, do I have anything that can help him?
JamesWe realize by now there's nothing that can help me.
AndrewI do so enjoy the lack of strength. It's a great storytelling point.
JamesI 100% agree. That is what has you know. Obviously we're talking above the table, so it is that.
AndrewYes, it is that 100%, hey, if?
Jamesyou fail. Right, there's this. If you have to do a strength check, it's just comedy.
AndrewRight, you better roll a nat 20, or else you're going to.
JamesRight, there's the greater impetus for me to roll a nat 20 on any athletics or strength check.
AndrewYes.
JamesSo that I can at least get a 17.
CatherineCorrect, I'm playing the drums Gauntlets of overpower. I'm playing the drums Gauntlets of ogre power.
AndrewSo, now that Iquium is writhing in pain, what are the rest of you doing?
CatherineDel. Do you have anything that can heal him?
FableLike potion.
CatherineI don't know, I cast fireball. No, I do not cast fireball. Well, he's not.
AndrewI was going to say Because it really doesn't take away HP fireball. No, I do not cast fireball. Well, he's not. I was going to say because it really doesn't take away HP.
CatherineI know, but we can't. What are we going to do with him rolling around on the floor?
AndrewThere's always the option to carry him.
CatherineCould we put him on? No, we can put him on Callie's back. Okay, callie. Like I said, I need a goblin beorn, put him on Callie's back.
AndrewOkay, callie.
JamesAll right, like I said, I need a goblin beorn. Yeah, you do. Yes, absolutely so.
CatherineDal and I are going to well. I will help as much as I can, but Dal mostly is going to put Iquium onto Callie's back.
AndrewOkay, so now Iquium is clutched onto Callie's back.
CatherineWhining and crying.
AndrewYes.
CatherineI assume you're whining and crying Oy vey, oh, my God yeah.
AndrewOh my, that seems correct.
JamesIt's better than the time I sneezed. I was out for weeks.
Speaker 4Yeah really All right. So where would you.
AndrewI was out for weeks? Yeah, really, oh, my God, all right. So where would you so? Do you so? In Nick Williams' attempt to investigate the rest of the room, that clearly failed. So what would you two like to do now?
CatherineI mean, I'd like to look under the bed. I'm tiny, I should be able to shimmy under there.
AndrewYou certainly can. So roll an investigation, check, let's say, with advantage. Since you're so short and wee, how would you have advantage on that 19.? Okay, you find absolutely nothing.
CatherineI'm sorry, that was actually a 20 with my plus one. Nothing under the bed. Even more nothing.
AndrewEven more nothing. There is nothing but dust, bunnies, ikram why didn't you just let us help?
ZanrosOh my God, there's nothing under here.
JamesIt looked like a cistern to me.
ZanrosCistern, cistern, oh man.
AndrewJust a cistern looking for her mistern, so like because we were talking about Sister, Sister.
CatherineYeah.
AndrewIt's again Mike Dowdy.
CatherineYes.
AndrewFrom Soul Coughing, yes, and now on his own solo stuff talking about sister sister. Yeah, it's again mike dowdy, yeah, from from um soul coughing, yes, and now on on his own solo stuff. But he has. He's got the one song with the with the lyric in it james vanderbeek and them sisters from sister sister, and it's like. It's like permanently stuck in my head james vanderbeek and them sisters from sister sister.
CatherineWow, it's just it's stuck in my head. Soul Coughing has been defunct since 2000.
AndrewYeah.
CatherineWow. He's released 11 albums.
AndrewYeah, he has.
CatherineStarting with Hottie Melodic.
AndrewYeah, phenomenal album.
CatherineYeah, Hottie Melodic's a really good one.
AndrewIt really is.
CatherineThey used a bunch of songs from that album in uh veronica mars did they really?
Andrewyes, you're right, they did. I do remember that, yeah, when logan and yeah, that's right having that big, deep conversation, the?
Catherinewhat is it? The bells, I can hear the bells, I hear the bells yeah, yeah, yeah it's playing in the background yeah, amazing he.
AndrewI I still have. I still have to go back and read his memoir. Oh yeah, the book of drugs, because he was. He was like a big drug addict when he was in Soul Coughing, like that was like the whole thing got himself clean. The band broke up. But his music is just amazing. I love the music. I love the lyrics. He's just brilliant.
AndrewThe Haughty Melodic I got you on LP. Yes, you did Haughty melodic. It's great. Busting up a starbucks great song. Sometimes I just feel like busting up a starbucks. It's like it's just. There's just some like great, great tunes. He did a whole. He did a remake album of a bunch of the soul coughing songs, like reimagined the songs and they're one of my favorite songs. I think how I got into Soul Coughing was they did a song on the X-Files album, songs in the Key of X, which were songs inspired by the X-Files, and Soul Coughing did this song called Unmarked Helicopters, which is just a great tune. And that's how I kind of got hooked on Soul Coughing. I'm like this is a great fucking tune. And then all their other Ruby, vroom, good, good stuff.
CatherineThis has been your Mike Dowdy corner that's right.
AndrewLove you, mike dowdy your mike dowdy minute your mike dowdy minute anyway yeah where would you like to go?
Catherineall right, so where?
Speaker 4haven't we been.
CatherineYet we haven't gone over here, we haven't really gone through here, right?
Jamesso we've got here it's here, that's easy enough, because that's yeah, we're right there. Oh, there's another thing. Okay, oh yeah, and there's easy enough, because that's yeah, we're right there.
CatherineOh, there's another thing. Okay, oh yeah, and there's a staircase. Maybe that's how we get downstairs, but that goes up. What?
AndrewYou already went down. You already went downstairs.
CatherineOh, we went downstairs.
AndrewOkay, went down the stairs, you went into the one room.
CatherineI say wow.
ZanrosOkay, I, oh, I need to figure out what's down those other stairs eventually, because this is my BM.
CatherineNo those go those.
AndrewJust, you can't see those stairs, but those stairs go up. Oh, okay, that's an ascending from the floor you're on, that's an ascending staircase, Okay. So if you, if you had gone that way, you would have gone down, you'd have gone down from the upper floor to where you are right now.
CatherineGot it.
AndrewThat's, that's why. Okay, that leads back to where you were.
ZanrosGot it Back to the level.
AndrewCorrect, correct Okay.
CatherineSo you want to go? Yeah, let's. Let's listen at this door To the South.
JamesYeah, to the South. Okay, south door from where we just came from.
CatherineWell, I guess Dal or I are going to listen at the door because you're trying to incapacitate us. Plus, my investigation is All right, I'm going to investigate, unless you want Callie to investigate. She's got pretty good perception. Do you want me to do it or you want?
AndrewGive me a perception check.
CatherineOkay, Perception, perception, perception. What do I have on perception? Sorry.
ZanrosI'm perception.
CatherineSorry, oh, there, it is Okay. 19.
FableNow what Nine Maybe do a perception.
AndrewOh, maybe it was just I've got a ten, a ten yes okay, so you are, you hear, you hear some noise.
AndrewIt's hard to make out what the noise is, but it sounds it almost. I'm trying to describe it almost. It's hard to make out what the noise is, but it sounds it almost. I'm trying to describe it almost. Sounds like you hear that kind of Almost like something, almost like dice being played. Okay, you hear that Exactly. Thank you, fable. You hear that exact type of sound. There's some shouts, some groans, just a group of voices that you hear in the room. Oh boy, it doesn't sound like a ton of people, but there's more than one, fewer than it's a handful. Let's say it's a handful of people a handful of voices.
JamesThese are not friends we could go to kind of a dark place uh, huh we could cut off Last Staff's head and deliver him via Mage Hand and just drop his head in the room and go. He's dead. You can leave now.
AndrewDamn.
CatherineYeah, the thing is, just because he's gone, I don't think they'll go, because he clearly was not the head of the operation.
JamesI mean he had that letter to Spider.
CatherineWe're assuming that is Well the letter of the operation. I mean he had that letter to Spider. We're assuming that is Well. The letter was from Spider and Spider was like you better do what I tell you. The letter from Spider made it, I thought, made it clear that Spider's in charge.
JamesSo, but I thought, we were told that he was the head of.
CatherineHe's the head of the Redbrands, but I think Spider's his boss.
AndrewGlass. Yeah, so this is. It's a relatively flat organization. It's you have to deal with a matrixed environment. So, there's dotted lines. Who's?
Jamesshifting the paradigm Right exactly.
AndrewSo the Redbrands report right up to Glassstep, but a dotted line to the spider. So he's not their direct manager, but there's roles and responsibilities in there.
CatherineBut let's say, their direct manager is now dead.
AndrewBut let's say their direct manager is now dead. They're going to have an issue with that.
CatherineYeah, and they're not going to just take off, even if we send them his head.
AndrewBecause spiders relate to home office. This is a satellite office.
CatherineThis is Dunder. Mifflin Utica Right and they're from corporate.
AndrewRight, exactly. So Michael Scott is Glass Staff.
CatherineWe just killed Michael Scott.
AndrewYou just killed Michael Scarn. This is threat level midnight. Ladies and gentlemen.
JamesI'm just here to fuck up Dwight.
CatherineSo the spider is David Wallace.
AndrewYes, yes, david Wallace is the spider. You nailed it. How did you figure that out?
JamesIt wasn't for you kids and that pesky dog. That's right, I've gotten away with this plan, oh boy.
AndrewAll right. So the short answer is yes, so immediately. Glass Staff is the head of the red brands.
CatherineYes, so we are.
AndrewHe is Glass Staff himself is working for the Spider, but all the red brands work directly for Glass Staff. They don't necessarily know there's another relationship. They're they're just.
Catherinethey just report up to glass staff and do do his bidding so I mean, we could deliver glass staff's head, but I don't think they're gonna leave just because we do. I think it might just make them madder like what if we go in and I'm just like oh, oh, hey, it's me, zanrose, this is my B&B, get out.
JamesI could always try the Callie and I go in and go look he got changed into a dog and see how that goes again.
CatherineHey guys, I'm hurt. Help, help, help.
Speaker 4Or or run in the room who's running you I feel.
AndrewYeah, you're not running anywhere because you're on the back of Callie right now.
JamesYeah, you're not running. I feel funny and then go out of the door and then Callie comes in the door.
AndrewWith a cloak on. Yeah, nice, you can try.
CatherineYou can certainly try, he can certainly try, I can't. He can't run.
JamesHe's whimpering on the face of the time, we could try to go around it, or we could split the party and go in both doors, or we could split the party and go in both doors, assuming we can find the other door, if there's another door Because we don't, as of yet, it's unbeknownst.
AndrewCorrect, that is correct. It's knownst to someone Knownst to the mapmaker. So what is your plan? You're kind of all crowded in this little hallway.
CatherineAn alcove and there's somebody inside playing a game of some sort. We have to decide what we're doing, yeah yes like do we send you in? And you pretend to be, like you try to pull off the. Hey look, I'm just an average red brand thing again. Yeah, yep.
JamesI'm just a red brand.
AndrewYes, I'm only a red brand and I'm sitting on this dire wolf. Wow, yeah, wow, thank you Was that not a compliment. Wow Okay, so that, not a compliment. Wow Okay. So what are you going to? What's going on?
CatherineWe can either send you in or I can go in just kind of like puttering around Setting up a job fair. Yeah, exactly here I am at the B&B hey, who are you? He's like oh, you didn't know, I own this house. Yeah, this is my B&B, hey who are you?
FableHe's like oh, you didn't know, I own this house.
CatherineYeah, this is my B&B. What are you doing here?
JamesAre you here for a job? You're welcome to, but you're going to have to be employed by me. Yeah, you're going to have to work.
CatherineNo free rides at the B&B.
AndrewNope. So what's happening?
CatherineHow do you want to do this?
JamesThat's my line, I know. Okay, so the options are I just go in and play it off like I'm just one of them. Yeah, okay.
CatherineOr I go in like I don't realize that the place is crawling with red brands and I'm just, you know, coming in to check out the place and start cleaning up place and start cleaning up, or we drop Glass Staff's body in the midst of them. Well, yes, that is. That seems to be your preferred strategy, but I think we might be able to get some information out of whoever's in there first. I kind of went a little. My my unending rage toward Glass Staff is what got him killed so fast.
JamesWell, let's see. Well, I mean you're going to be right on the other side of the door. So if I walk in just very nonchalantly- yeah, like we're right outside. Yeah.
CatherineWell, you're not walking in, You're riding Callie in. Yeah, well, you're not walking in. You're riding Callie in. Yeah, see, I feel like you should go in on Callie's back and be like, oh my God, guys, I'm hurt. I was in town and I got attacked.
JamesAnd then Mark turned into a dire wolf, or she can have me in her mouth and drop me.
Speaker 4Oh.
JamesJust set me down. And I just go nice doggy, nice doggy, run for your lives.
CatherineHe wants us to make a decision.
AndrewAnd we could do this all day, but Okay.
CatherineIs that from the Captain America musical? I could do this all day.
FableExactly, there's a Captain America musical.
CatherineIt's fake, but then they made it at Disney. So yeah. But wasn't it part of Hawkeye? Yes, yes, yeah, but there was it part of Hawkeye, yes.
AndrewYes.
CatherineYeah, but there was only the one song. Oh, okay, and then they turned it into Rogers, the Musical at the parks.
AndrewYeah, indeed, okay, that's kind of funny.
JamesCan I walk? Am I still hurting or do I need to be carried?
AndrewAt this point, you still need to be carried, okay.
CatherineYou threw out your back trying to lift a bed. Yeah.
AndrewDal, do you have any suggestions?
FableI mean Not really, not besides what's already been put out there. So what would you like to do? We could do what you were suggesting. What's that, callie?
JamesLike nonchalantly walk in on Callie and say I've been hurt, and there are, you know, even saying there are intruders.
FableYeah.
CatherineOkay, if you say there are intruders, they're going to come rushing out the door to where Dal and I are standing True.
JamesAnd I can always attack them from behind. Unless you roll poorly in which case you're sending ducks.
AndrewI don't know how much fighting you're doing right now With your back thrown out.
JamesWe have not. Okay, theo Pimble, theo, theo Pimble.
AndrewTheo Theo Pimble Bing.
JamesHow you doing Theo.
AndrewFine.
JamesHow many people are usually in this room? How many red brands are there to your knowledge?
AndrewThis is just a room where we hang out, so I mean, it could be, it could be a, it could be, it could be a couple, it could be a dozen. It all depends on who's here in the hideout at any given time how many people might be in that room. But this is just a common room where we hang out and kind of blow off steam.
CatherineYou're going to be anybody not human in that room.
AndrewI've never seen it. It's only been red brands, all the red brands in that room. I know there's talk of bugbears, but I wouldn't know where they are.
CatherineI forgot I should be in character.
ZanrosSo what rooms haven't you gone into that you don't know where the bugbears are? Has anybody said, hey, stay out of that room, there's a bugbear in there.
AndrewNo, the bug. Well, I haven't been here since I haven't been in this area of the hideout like I've been in this common room, like the only places where I have. I've never been in Glass Staff's quarters. I would have thought maybe there'd be bugbears there protecting him, but so I don't know where the bugbears could possibly be at this point.
JamesMaybe the bugbears are on a break maybe huh, is one named Ross and one named Rachel. Maybe the bugbears are on a break, huh. Is one named Ross and one named Rachel, Just asking for a friend. So we do have another possibility, because how much have you been, how much have either of you been injured?
ZanrosI have full health.
FableYou have full health. I'm 7 out of 12.
JamesWhat about spells and stuff?
FableI've only used one, no.
CatherineI haven't used any spell slots. Actually, I have used both of my key points, so I can't take any bonus actions Right.
FableI've been saving some good spells.
JamesI mean I can get my spell slots back if I have a short rest. I mean I can cast Elder's Blast, and that's what I do most of the time.
FableBut any of my bigger ones. There's two big ones I've been saving, which is Inflict Moons and Guiding Will.
JamesOkay, so the question is, we can also retreat to Glafst Staff's room and try to rest, because is anybody else going to come in and see him Into his inner room?
CatherineDo we take a short rest and then move on? If we take a short rest, does Iquium get any of his health back or does his back hurt less?
AndrewIquium could use some of his hit die to regain hit points. I know I said you didn't really lose hit points, but we'll say you have. If you're able to take a short rest, then you'd be well enough to be mobile again. Oh, I'll say that much.
CatherineSo maybe we should short rest.
Jamesin that way you can walk into the yeah, but I'll get my, I'll get my two pack slots back, okay, um, that's all I and do I need them? I, I, I don't, I don't know.
AndrewSo a short rest is what? Roughly an hour, or one to four hours. So let's see.
CatherineSo you're going to retreat to Glass Staff's quarters and try to attempt to take a short rest.
AndrewWhat does that mean? Well, if anybody comes in to see him, you're going to attempt to it, and then we're going to see if somebody discovers you or not. Okay, so, while you are. So you're all huddled in, not huddled, but you're all hanging out in Glass Staff's quarters.
CatherineSo it's the three of us Callie, theo Pimble, and then Myrna and the kids.
JamesYes, In Glass Staff's body which we prop up a la Weekend at Bernie's. Yes.
CatherinePut some sunglasses on him.
AndrewSo, as you are, as you're trying to rest and heal up, you hear Sir, sir, are you in there? Are you awake?
CatherineSo I think our best bet at this point might be James trying to imitate class staff. Who dares?
Jamesdisturb me.
AndrewRoll for deception. Oh boy Fable.
CatherineOh, boy, okay 16.
AndrewI'm sorry, sir, but there's. We haven't seen you. We need to know what to do next. We haven't seen you.
JamesWe need to know what to do next. What was Glass Staff wearing Was?
Catherinehe wearing a hat or anything? What are we doing with the hat.
AndrewRemember he had the boots with the fur.
CatherineYeah, yeah, yeah, yes, he did. And the apple-bottom jeans. He had the apple-bottom jeans and the boots with the fur. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes he did and the apple-bottom jeans.
AndrewHe had the apple-bottom jeans and the boots with the fur. No hat, though.
CatherineDid he have a cape?
AndrewHe did have a cape, a fur around the collar.
CatherineFurry cape.
AndrewAre you going to?
Jamesstrip a dead man naked? No, I think it'll take too long. I was going to take his cape and just put his cape against the door and go. You know.
CatherineWhat if we just try to continue imitating him and be like what do you usually do this time of day?
JamesWell, I was going to say. What did I tell you the last time? This is ridiculous that I have to answer all these questions. I'm trying to formulate a new plan here.
CatherineI'm trying to nap.
AndrewWe have a conference call with the rest of the group at the other building and we're waiting on you. We've got the sending stone ready, we've got everything hooked up. We're just waiting for you to come out and conduct the meeting.
CatherineCover the meeting Always. Oh, what if we tell them is the meeting with, is the meeting with the spider?
AndrewNo, because they're not really aware. So it's other red brands, oh.
JamesOther red brands.
CatherineOther red brands Just tell them you need to cancel because you're busy. Sorry guys, I've double booked and I need to cancel.
JamesI mean you could, I mean you could, you could. One of you could lift Glass Staff. We put him up to the door and say come in. When the guy comes in, he falls over and we all yell at the guy, you killed him. He's still going to wonder who the hell we are.
AndrewAre you still deliberating on what to do?
CatherineWe don't know how many, sir?
AndrewSir, we don't know how many. We're going to be late for the call, sir.
CatherineJust tell him we have to cancel the call.
JamesWe have to delay the call. I'm almost finished with this formulation.
AndrewAnother deception check 17. Very well, sir. What should I tell the rest of them?
FableGet all life.
CatherineGo out into town and terrorize the people. Jesus Like, enjoy some free time, you idiot oh.
Speaker 4I know what we tell them in a meeting, like this Everybody gets half an hour back.
JamesDo we recall by any chance how much ale was at the sleeping, the unruly orc, whatever?
AndrewThe surly orc.
JamesSurly orc.
AndrewHow much ale.
JamesLike how much was an, ale how much was a beer.
AndrewOh, how much was it, how much it was.
JamesWas it a couple of coppers?
AndrewIt was a couple of copper. It was a couple of copper, handful of copper pieces for an ale.
JamesHere's what I'll do. I'm going to take three gold and I'm going to just stick my arm out the door and go go to the pub. Until I finish this formulation, I'll send for you Just my hand out the door.
AndrewSo what do you want this to be? Do you want this to be deception, persuasion, persuasion, persuasion. So roll for persuasion 20.
James30-20.
AndrewWhatever you say, sir, he takes the gold pieces and he goes sorry to have bothered you and closes the door and takes off.
CatherineCan we have our short rest now?
AndrewYou can have your short rest now. Nothing else will happen during your short rest, I'll be sure, I'm very sure. I assure you Surely, I am sure. Don't call me, surely?
JamesIt's the first room I didn't walk into and start trying to kill people. Yeah.
CatherineHow did it feel? I've done a lot of work. How does that feel?
Jamesfor you. I still think we should kill them, but anyway.
ZanrosOkay.
JamesSo we take our short rest.
ZanrosYes.
AndrewYes, heal up, get some spell slots back.
CatherineI got my key points back.
AndrewYay, key points.
CatherineThat means I can flurry of blows people.
AndrewYes, slap them around.
CatherineSlap a bugbear.
Speaker 4Mm-hmm.
CatherineCan you hear?
Andrewme now. Can I hear you now? Yeah, I'm like right up on it, I can hear you.
FableYeah, can you hear me?
AndrewI would prefer that you were that close to the microphone.
CatherineOh, do you want me to talk like this all the time?
AndrewYou don't have to have your mouth right up on it.
CatherineI think it's funnier that way though.
Speaker 4Hello.
AndrewHello, welcome to the delicious dish Mmm.
CatherineSweaty balls.
AndrewYour balls taste so good in my mouth. They're a little salty. Yes, they are a little salty. What are you doing? Oh, sweet Jesus.
JamesIs that your nose on your face, or are you happy to see me Nice?
CatherineMy God I don't know, maybe we'll walk away. I'm just playing around.
AndrewOkay, bill Clinton with that red nose Nice. Hashtag couple goals, a few too many to drink.
CatherineI had a dream in which I was fully married to somebody I went to college with last night.
AndrewWow.
CatherineYeah, it wasn't you.
AndrewBecause we didn't go to college together.
JamesThat makes sense.
AndrewRight, exactly If you're going to marry somebody you went to college with it wouldn't be me no. Are we all ready?
FableYes.
AndrewOkay, have you completed your short rest?
CatherineYes.
AndrewExcellent. So you're all healed up and yeah, ready to go.
FableI did it and it didn't give me any of my hit points back, which is odd.
AndrewYou have to roll. Well, you have to. You don't automatically get hit points back. You have to use your hit dice to gain hit points back. So you can choose. You have at level two you have what two hit dice, or three hit dice, two hit dice, so you could use one or both.
JamesYeah, because when you go into short rest you could say hey, take short rest. And then it asks you well, oh yeah. I'm good I got 11.
AndrewExcellent.
JamesTotal you get two, yeah two, hit dice.
FableYeah, I'm good, all good now.
AndrewAll right, what would you like to do now?
CatherineWell, now I think we should go check out that room, okay.
JamesLet's go check out the room. Okay, we'll listen again, just to ensure.
CatherineLet's percept whether anyone's in there.
AndrewYou hear heavy breathing? Yeah, kidding, I was going to say you currently hear nothing.
CatherineOkay, all right, I'm going to try the door now.
AndrewWhat's your AC?
James15. Is that plus one? Oh, no, no. Technically yours is higher. You still have a major so it's, 13 plus your dexterity, that was 12.
CatherineMy dexterity is 6, so 19?.
AndrewYou have an AC of 19. Yes, okay, that's good to know. So the door opens without a problem.
CatherineMm-hmm, and then what?
AndrewThere's no one in here because they all went to the Surly Orc to go get drinks.
CatherineSo let's look around.
AndrewSo clearly you see the remnants of what was a game, of something referred to as knuckle bones, but there's just some playing pieces on the dice and some playing pieces on the table, and that's it. Okay, what else is in the room.
AndrewThere's really not much else in the room, so several worn tables and chairs are scattered around this room. Wooden benches are drawn against the walls, decorated with brown and red drapery. If we don't try to lift anything, that's about it. That's about it in this room, it's just. It just looks like a room where people would kind of hang out and spend time. You also notice that there is a door to the south.
JamesI'll just just to look in the room. Can I do an investigation check?
AndrewYou can, you can do an investigation check.
JamesCan you tell me the amount of nothing that I've seen?
Catherine14. Mucho nothing.
AndrewYou see so much nothing.
JamesYou. Is there a cistern?
Andrewin the room. There's not a cistern, there's not a brothern.
CatherineThere's Not an uncle, not an uncle, not an uncle, uncle, uncle Uncle. Uncle Uncle, uncle, uncle Uncle.
AndrewUncle, there's nothing. Uncle Earn, there's no fam learn Uncle.
JamesEarn, you gotta get back to work now.
AndrewThere's nothing to see here.
JamesOkay, shucks.
AndrewYes.
JamesJumping G-Hoss-a-fan, so I think we should proceed to the Over here the suit. To the suit.
CatherineOkay, let's go to the south. This is me talking into the mic.
AndrewNice. Is that you talking into the mic?
CatherineThat is me talking into the mic. This is me talking into the mic.
JamesThis is me talking into the mic. Doppler effect is real.
AndrewSee, that's all that I would like you to do is just talk into the microphone. Okay, that's very simple. We should like you to do is just talk into the microphone.
JamesOkay, we should play the game while we're talking into the mic. Just to be clear.
AndrewYes, so Now you're in the hallway, there is a set, so to your. So you're heading south, so to your left is a set of stairs that go up.
JamesAre they like the stairs we came down? I understand that they're different, but are they similar in structure? Yes, yeah okay.
AndrewSame type of thing, just a set of stairs going to the upper level, and then there's that door directly in front of you to the south, so you can either go to the left up the stairs or through the door.
CatherineI mean, I think we should go through the door and finish essentially searching this level, right, yeah, and then we can go up. Yeah, I agree, okay, so before we go through the door, we're going to listen at the door. Would you like a perception check?
AndrewI would like a perception check.
FableI have a plus five on that.
JamesOkay, twelve for me, hmm, twelve.
FableIt almost fell. You're doing that Nineteen Four. I wonder whose is better.
CatherineMine.
AndrewDal.
FableThese.
AndrewYou hear several gruff voices, ruh-roh Speaking, and you're not sure what they're saying. But you Do, you speak goblin, I do not. We found the bug bears. So you, you, whatever you can, you can tell they're speaking in goblin and you can, you can. The voices are very angry.
FableGreat, lovely, that's what we want.
AndrewSo that's, that is what you perceive.
CatherineSo, if we're going in which I presume we have to do I would like to propose once again that Zanros just rolls in and is like oh, did the agency send you? Okay, let's give it a shot. Are you the bouncers for the B&B? Oh, did the agency send you? Okay, let's give it a shot. Are you the bouncers for the B&B? Should we do it? Yeah, okay, what's our order? Other than me, dal, backing me up? I can back you up, or Callie, okay. Callie then I Theo Pimble and then the hostages.
FableI think we should tell the hostages to just how tall is Lizandra's man? Three, three foot five.
CatherineThat's funny. I think we should tell the hostages to hang out in that little break room for now. Okay, right, because they don't need to get involved in a bugbear fight. No, okay to get involved in a bugbear fight. Okay, I just think it's funny.
FableI'm backing her up, and she's like half my height.
CatherineYou're towering over her, well, okay.
AndrewOkay, so what does he order again?
CatherineIt's me.
AndrewYes, then Dal, then Dal.
CatherineThen I'd say Iquim, you want to go first, or Callie?
JamesI want Callie to be able to get to you if necessary. So I'd say Callie, then me, because I can cast it.
CatherineOkay, callie, then Iquium, then Theo, because I don't want to let him out of my sight.
AndrewSo you're basically already backed up into the other room because, I mean, it's only a 15-foot hallway.
ZanrosOkay, so Nuna why don't you and the children stay here? Because I don't like what I'm hearing on the other side of that door and I don't want any more trouble for you.
AndrewYou don't have to tell me twice, okay.
CatherineAll right, oh, so I think what I'm going to do is knock on the door. Okay, so?
ZanrosHello, who's there? Hi, it's me, zanros. I own the place. Did the agency send you? I was looking for some muscle for the B&B Agency.
AndrewAgency, no, the spider.
ZanrosSpider's not who I spoke to. I think I spoke to Nancy. Nancy at the agency, you got sure you're in the right place.
AndrewThe door flings open.
ZanrosWell, you look like you're muscle.
AndrewAnd there are four very angry bugbears there. There is one goblin who sees all this and faints.
CatherineWho's the goblin?
AndrewHe's unconscious, I don't know. He's the goblin.
CatherineHe's unconscious, I don't know he's in the room.
AndrewHe was in the room with them. Oh Okay, he saw all this. He got scared and passed out.
CatherineSo there's four bugbears and a goblin in this room. Four bugbears and one goblin and a passed out goblin.
AndrewAnd a passed out goblin.
ZanrosSo I mean you look like my security detail. You're telling me you're not you sure you're in the right place, because this is my bed and breakfast.
AndrewThis is no bed and breakfast.
ZanrosI mean, I beg to differ. It needs some work, but this is my family's property and I am turning it into a bed and breakfast.
AndrewThis place is owned by the spider.
ZanrosLet's see Spider Bumble Bumble. No, no, nobody in my lineage named the spider and my family has owned this property for years.
AndrewYou better get out of here if you value your life.
ZanrosNo, I'm not going to do that. Hold on a second, dal. This is my assistant, dal Dal, could you check again? Nancy at the agency said she was sending some muscle right.
FableYeah, I do believe that Nancy said she was sending some muscle from the agency. This kind of looks like that. I'm checking right now.
ZanrosThank you, these guys, this kind of looks like that I. I'm checking right now like.
AndrewThank you, these guys. So are you trying to persuade, deceive, intimidate? You're trying to deceive, yeah so so roll for it, roll for a deception.
CatherineI'm kind of hoping that they're stupid enough. I'm kind of hoping that they're stupid enough that they're gonna fall for this and think they work there.
FableDo we both have to roll or just Bumble Bumble?
AndrewNo, just Zanros, because she's the one talking.
CatherineFifteen Just Bumble Bumble, just Bumble Bumble. I was googling Bumble Bumble B&B. There used to be a B&B in Portugal called B&B Bembom nice fascinating.
AndrewReserve the domain right now.
JamesRight Yep.
AndrewBumblebumblebb BB. Bb EG so they are a little bit confused because they have no idea what you're talking about. Mm-hmm, idea of what you're talking about. They're just dumbfounded because they don't know what to do. They go.
ZanrosSo who is this spider? Can I get in touch with him?
AndrewYou want to talk to spider?
ZanrosYeah, if he's telling people that he owns my B&B, I'd like to speak to him.
AndrewI'm trying to remember where the spider is. I think he's at Cragmaw Castle.
CatherineYeah, because that's where Gundren is. Yeah, yeah.
AndrewWe can't tell you where that is.
ZanrosI mean, can you connect me via like a sending stone or something?
AndrewLet me talk to this guy. What's in it for us?
ZanrosI mean, what would you like?
JamesI can offer you a job.
ZanrosI got a little bit of cold.
AndrewI already got a job.
ZanrosDo you?
Speaker 4though you don't seem to know where you are.
JamesI love it, the audacity, the sheer bravado of it all.
CatherineThree foot five. What do I weigh? 29 pounds. Yeah, yeah.
AndrewSo with that, one of them just starts picking up from behind him his Morningstar and just starts twirling it around in his hand. Oh, look at the pig man, I'm so impressed.
ZanrosI already thought you were my security detail you don't have to prove it to me.
AndrewWe don't work for you.
ZanrosTal, were you able to get Nancy on the phone?
FableShe won't pick up God.
ZanrosNancy, just like her. Listen, guys, why don't you go outside? Take it up with your friend the spider and I'll lock the door behind you.
AndrewWe're not leaving this place.
ZanrosIckwim, did you want to cast Fireball now?
JamesUm Eldritch Blast.
Speaker 4You sure this is what you guys want to do.
ZanrosYou can leave now your buddy Glassstaff. You know that guy Think he's pretty tough.
JamesThis is where we meet, the end of the dungeon and the end of our lives.
CatherineHe's writing down Bugbear 1 through 4.
JamesI rolled in that 23 on the class, by the way.
CatherineI can see there's a gap between your laptop and the screen.
AndrewYou're so bad, you're so bad.
JamesBB-1, bb-2, bb-3. The greatest thing is, I rolled a nat 20 for Eldritch Blast.
AndrewYou rolled a nat 20 for Eldritch Blast. So which of the four bugbears would you like to hit with Eldritch Blast? Actually, I can only hit the one in the doorway.
JamesWhat's that? I can only hit the one in the doorway.
AndrewThat's true. Yeah, because you're behind, I don't know how you're going to how can you even cast a spell behind Dal? I know I was going to say Dal is so much taller than you. Dal and I are like oof, I mean I guess it's five foot wide, so you could probably shoot past Dal.
CatherineDal is going left and I am going right. Let me do this, yeah.
AndrewOkay.
CatherineJazz hands, you're jazz handing the Eldritch Blast. Yes, so that he can shoot the Eldritch Blast in between us.
AndrewAll right. So how much damage are you going to do to?
Speaker 4the bugbear in the doorway.
JamesI had Actually it's 24 to hit.
AndrewJust made it.
JamesJust made it.
AndrewJust made it.
JamesFantastic, it takes. Okay, there's 11 points of damage. No, 9 points of damage. 9 points of damage.
AndrewAre you sure?
JamesNo, no, it was the 19 points of damage.
AndrewIt's 9 points of damage the 19 points of damage.
JamesIt's 9 points of damage, 9 points of damage so I don't get to add my modifier right, because I haven't been doing that what do you mean? On spell attack, I have plus 4, so that's how I get the 24 right let's spell modifiers plus 2, so does that? What if I do this, just just roll nine? Yes, it's a straight d10, there's no, there's no, correct. Yeah, it's a 1d10, it's yeah it's a straight D10.
AndrewThere's no Correct. Yeah, it's a 1D10.
JamesYeah, it's nine points of damage.
AndrewAll right. So you did nine points of damage and everybody needs to roll for initiative.
ZanrosYou guys should have left when I gave you the chance 19.
James17.
AndrewHang on, hang on, hang on Dal 19 19. Equians 17.
Zanros21. Okay.
AndrewOkay, okay, okay.
ZanrosI try to let these guys have a shot and they always want to fight. Hey guys, before we really get into it, glassstaff's dead.
JamesSays Clark.
AndrewWe don't answer to them.
ZanrosSpider's gonna be dead too. We just gotta find him. Cometh at me, brother.
AndrewOh my god, zanros, they're those Jersey.
ZanrosShore, bugbears Seas, jersey.
AndrewShore bugbears, seaside Heights. Bugbears Fucking A Fucking.
JamesA right.
ZanrosWe need to fix our hand bro.
AndrewFist pumping in the door. Can we do a perception check on the door? All I hear is oomph, oomph, oomph, oomph, oomph.
CatherineGymtan laundry.
JamesBoots and pants and boots and pants Gymtan laundry bugbear Boots and pants and boots and pants.
AndrewXanros, you're up first.
CatherineCabs are here. Okay, I'm going with the quarterstaff.
AndrewOkay, come on.
CatherineOh, no Seven.
AndrewThat definitely misses. Is there anything else you'd like to do?
CatherineYes, let's go with Flurry of Blows. Right on I said get the hell out of here, as the bugbear just leans back and 24.
AndrewAverts your quarterstaff, that hits I bet it does.
CatherineOh, I need to do four. Choose this guy Seven.
AndrewYou did seven points of damage.
CatherineTo the guy in the door.
AndrewOkay, you have a second, it's two attacks.
Speaker 4Oh, that's right, I get to go again. You have a second. It's two attacks, it's two unarmed attacks Go again, oop 25.
AndrewDefinitely hits.
ZanrosSix.
AndrewBetween the two of you. You really messed up this bugbear. He is not doing well, however, in his rage of being hit by this massive blow from the elders. The critical hits Like you what?
JamesI totally blew it.
CatherineWhat'd you do?
JamesBecause I got a critical hit. I should have doubled my damage.
AndrewYou didn't double the damage, I didn't double the damage, oh shit, I rolled.
JamesI rolled a nine for damage, right, and I thought there was a modifier, but what I was probably thinking was I had to double for damage, right, and I thought there was a modifier.
AndrewBut what I was?
Jamesprobably thinking was I had to double the damage.
AndrewSo Because he'd be dead at this point. So obviously he's coming right after Zanros. Yeah, because you're right up front.
CatherineI have that dodge ability right, so let's see if he hits. Well, the dodge is an action. Yeah, yeah, oh, I can't take it because it's not my turn.
AndrewWell, you already took.
CatherineYou already took your turn right, right, no, that's what I'm saying. I can't, it's not.
AndrewIt's not a reaction is dodge a reaction? I thought dodge was an action. Can you take dodge as a reaction?
JamesI thought you could take it as a reaction or a bonus action oh, I don't, I don't recall, should we?
Andrewlet's look that up, everybody. Let's look something up we're gonna learn is it's uncanny dodge right it just says dodge, dodge action when you take the dodge action, when you take the dodge action Because until the start of your next what's that.
JamesIt says here why is it, the question became, is uncanny dodge not auto passive 5E rules? Uncanny dodge is reaction Still qualifies as less of a reflex. But that's, is it uncanny dodge? No, it's just dodge, it's just dodge.
AndrewSo when you take the dodge action, you focus entirely on avoiding attacks Until the start of your next turn. Any attack roll made against you has disadvantage, right, okay, so you could have. Instead of attacking, you could have used dodge. Yeah, I wasn't gonna do that though. No, okay, but but don't forget, you've got the special, do you still, james? Is that still in effect, the Mage armor, or whatever? Yes how long does that last?
Jameseight hours eight hours.
Andrewyeah, wow, yeah, wow. So that puts you at like a 19.
JamesYes, ok, yeah, because that was the benefit on using it on Zanros Right, because they didn't use armor Right and and you get to utilize your dexterity as part of your armor class and you get a little glow about you.
Speaker 4A glow up.
JamesBut you have armor.
AndrewSorry, so that bugbear does not hit you Right, Because again he got nailed with the Eldritch Blast and then slapped around by you. So they completely miss. Dal, you are up next.
FableI want to go after the one that they were going after.
AndrewYeah, that's basically the only one, unless you go in like he's kind of in the doorway, so he's really the only one that's.
FableI'm doing Toll the Dead. Can you do a Wisdom save for me.
AndrewI can Nat 20.
FableNo.
AndrewNat 20. Sorry, is that your turn? Yeah, iquium, you are up next.
JamesI'm assuming, since Callie is behind me and it's only a five foot doorway.
AndrewActually. I thought you said Callie was in front of you.
CatherineCallie was in front of you. She's in front.
JamesCan Callie attack in the door.
AndrewYou didn't have Callie attack last time, did you? I didn't, no wait. How did you Eldritch? Oh wait, no, when did you Eldritch Blast?
JamesYou said he started with his Morningstar.
AndrewOh, that's right, so you did, and then I hit Eldritch Blast before we rolled initiative. That's right.
JamesYeah.
AndrewSo now it's you and Kali's right. So you did, that's right, okay, that's right, yeah. So now it's now it's you and Callie's turn.
JamesSo for me. Uh, I don't suppose a nine hits.
AndrewA nine does not hit.
JamesSo that's for me.
AndrewCallie has a 15. A 15 does not hit.
ZanrosOuch.
AndrewSo that leaves Equium. So now we're up to the other three bugbears. So Iquium, because they're still in the room, they can't attack you in melee range, but they fortunately have some javelins at their disposal. Oh thank, God Lovely. So one of the bugbears is going to throw its javelin at you. That will be a nat 20.
Speaker 4Oh, God, oh God, that will be a nat 20. Oh God.
JamesThat hits.
AndrewWell played, well played.
JamesThat hits. Just want you to feel confident about your bugbears, that's all All right, oh, that's all All right.
AndrewOh wait, oops, equium, yes, seven points of piercing damage.
JamesOuch.
AndrewMind you, that's his only javelin, so Okay, thank you.
JamesUm.
AndrewHowever, since you already did so much damage, the next bugbear is going to throw its javelin At you as well.
JamesAlways go for the squishy.
AndrewDoes an 18 hit? Yes, okay, okay, that will be eight points of piercing damage.
CatherineIs that 15? Yep.
Speaker 4You got six right, you got six left.
AndrewSeeing his counterparts both successfully hit you with their javelins. Oh, come on his counterparts. Both successfully hit you with their javelins. Oh come on Bugbear 3. He's gonna aim for Callie.
FableNot the dog Monster.
AndrewDoes a 13 hit Callie?
JamesIt does not.
AndrewOkay, so the javelin goes whizzing by Callie and unfortunately I could never do that and finds its way straight to your heart, nat 20. Nat 20 on the rebound. How?
Jamesmany points of damage 37 points of damage for you. I want to make sure you're dead.
AndrewSo that javelin goes whizzing by, callie, and you as everybody dodges out of the way of that javelin. Now, fortunately, those three do not have any more javelins, so all they have are their Morning Stars melee range weapons. That takes us back to the top of the order with Xanros 21. Certainly hits.
CatherineOkay, I'm going in with the quarterstaff. Are they all still alive? Everyone is still alive, all right, so I'm going to take the one with the most hit points, like the least hit points at this point. Who has taken the most damage?
AndrewOnly one has taken damage. I'm going after that guy, the one standing in the door in front of you that spell I have.
FableIt does more damage than ones that are already injured. If you want to go, for one that hasn't been well, can I get past that guy, though?
Andrewno, right, you could probably crawl through its legs and get to the other three if you don't want to do that, just do it what if I somersault through his legs? You can do that.
CatherineSomersault through his legs.
AndrewGive me an acrobatics check.
ZanrosOh shit 24.
Andrew24. So as you're somersaulting, one of your feet just kind of slips out, kicks him in the nuts as you roll underneath him and he goes ah.
CatherineExcellent.
AndrewSo now you are standing in a room with a passed out goblin and three angry bugbears with their morning stars.
CatherineOkay, so I've rolled already and it definitely hit. That was a 21 or something like that yeah. Okay, so I'm gonna roll. Okay, so that's two that is six points of damage.
AndrewOkay, is that all you want to do?
CatherineYes, Okay, I already used one of my key points. I don't want to use them all up front.
AndrewSo, then, the bugbear that you just somersaulted past is now facing Dal and is going to attack Dal.
CatherineOkay, so that's the guy with damage.
AndrewWith the most damage.
CatherineYeah.
AndrewNow two of them have damage, so this one's going to attack Dal. Does a 19 hit, yep.
Speaker 4Okay.
AndrewThere we go, let's use that one. So that will be, with the Morningstar, 13 points of piercing damage.
FableI'm down.
AndrewOh shit, your cleric is unconscious.
Speaker 4Mm-hmm.
FableYeah, I'm at zero.
AndrewDal, you would have been up next, so you are out for the count, so Iquium.
JamesDoes giving Dal a potion of healing count?
AndrewThat would be your action.
JamesThat would be an action.
AndrewYeah, well, boy, I don't think giving the potion. I guess if you're administering the potion, yes, that would be an action.
JamesBut you're at zero, you're unconscious.
FableI'm yeah.
AndrewAnd don't forget, you have Kali's attack as well.
JamesI'll give Del one of my potions of healing Okay.
FableTwo, that's two healing okay but I get more hit points on my next level up. Oh hell, my mom's going to look at kitchen furniture, so I'm going to use the little healing dice.
AndrewThat's right. That's what they're there for.
FableI kind of want to be a part of that.
JamesShe's already gone, I think.
AndrewIt's two, so that's six points. All right, so you're stable. You're more than stable. You've got six hit points now.
JamesOkay, and I'll let Callie attack.
AndrewYes, I assume the one that's right up front. Yeah, ok, otherwise Kelly would have to go into the room past it.
FableAll right, screw this. I'm using my what? Maybe one of my?
JamesSo that is a Twenty four to hit me. And she does.
AndrewThe one that Callie's attacking 26 plus 3.
James8 points of damage to that Kill him Equium that is a creature.
CatherineFinish him.
AndrewDoesn't matter, doesn't matter, doesn't matter, doesn't matter. How would you like to do this?
JamesI say she lunges forward after seeing Dal go down and then seeing me get hit with, you know, javelins. Callie lunges forward at the bugbear's neck and pounces on him, so he is prone and she rips his throat out.
AndrewExcellent. So you've successfully killed the one bugbear. Any of the rest?
Zanrosof you want to rethink this situation.
AndrewThey don't.
ZanrosYou're really stupid. They do not wish to rethink this You're just't.
AndrewThey're really stupid. They do not wish to rethink this. They're just stupid. They're real dumb. Since you are the only one in the room, you now have the ire of three bugbear on you.
JamesWere there four bugbears there were four.
AndrewThere were four bugbears.
CatherineAnd a passed out goblin. The first bugbear is going to a passed out goblin.
AndrewYeah, the first bugbear is going to completely miss you with its morning star Woo.
CatherineBecause you are so wee, I also can matrix around him, yep.
FableWoo, because you're just cool like that.
AndrewSecond bugbear is going to miss All three, all three. No, sweetie, I love you, but no, all three bugbears because you were still somersaulting. Yeah, so they were all trying to get a whack at you. Yeah, and I'm just too fast. You are too fast for them. You were able to dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge your way away from them.
JamesYep, okay, if you want, you can even have a dab, totally, you can even have a dab.
AndrewTotally, do it. I'm just kidding. No, do it Now. Finish him with the dab. A little dab will do you. So, zanros, now that they've all taken their swings at you, you're up.
CatherineOkay 24.
AndrewWell, that'll hit. Which one are you going after? You going after the one that you already hit?
Catherineyes and I'm smacking him with the quarterstaff okay quarterstaff, of course Six damage.
AndrewSix damage yes, right on.
ZanrosOkay, all right.
AndrewDow.
CatherineBack up, back up.
AndrewBack up.
FableYes, okay.
AndrewNow what are you doing? So you're still in the hallway.
JamesHeal myself.
AndrewYou're in the hallway. Before you get into this little room, in your way is a dead bugbear. Okay, you need to go into the room If you want to. If you have a ranged spell, that's fine. I'm going to do a ranged spell.
FableRight on.
AndrewWhich ranged spell are you going to do?
FableGuiding bolt. Say a prayer here. Oh my god, 25 to hit. Nice Wait, how did you get it? Say a prayer here. Oh my god, 25 to hit.
AndrewNice. Wait, how did you get it? Is that a nat 20?
FableYes.
AndrewYou got a nat 20?.
FableYes.
AndrewSo you get to double the damage.
CatherineOh, I didn't know that. Is that just on spells?
Jamesor is that on everything?
AndrewCritical hit Critical hit is, and that's normally a 4d6. That's 8d6 damage.
FableCan I go for the one that has had no damage yet?
AndrewYou can definitely go for one of the ones that's had no damage yet Do you need some d6?.
FableI'm just going to do it manually. I mean not digitally, because that is too much.
CatherineOh, okay, you can do 8d6. We have a bunch too, but then I have to count it.
AndrewWe could lend you a bunch of D6s.
JamesWe'll help you count it. How satisfying would it be if you rolled it for you, like for me it would be immensely. Here I have four D6s, okay.
AndrewHere's another four D6s right here. Just give them back to me, that ask, stealing them. 8d6 damage. This is massive.
FableJust do them all.
ZanrosDo it.
CatherineThat was satisfying 5, 6, 7.
FableOh wait, this was satisfying. Five, six, seven. Oh wait, this is 10 over here.
CatherineI'm counting 24.
FableSo this is 16, 17, 18, 19, 20.
AndrewYeah, 24. Dal yeah, how would you like to do this?
FableUh, I used the diagram, this. I did write down how I do most of the spells, but that was a while ago, Of course I didn't. Oh yeah, okay, ooh, those are heavy. So a bolt of blinding blue flashes and hits him right in the chest. He's down.
AndrewAnd what kind of damage is that? Is that radiant damage? That's radiant damage, yes. So just all of this, this, this bolt of was blue light, yes, just goes, gets like absorbed into this bugbear's chest and just very, very similar to how the doctor regenerates. Same kind of thing. All this energy is just too much for the body to contain and this blue light just comes flashing out of just every part of this bugbear's body and just blasts everything out of the way and the bugbear completely disappears. Yay.
ZanrosThe rest of you want to rethink this now.
AndrewThey do not.
FableYeah, just think. From the dark hallway you only see their eyes. My God, they're stupid.
AndrewThey are not intelligent beings, and that? Just think of the dark hallway. You only see their eyes. My God, they're stupid. They are not intelligent beings.
CatherineAnd that goblin's still passed out.
FableYes, would you say that the hallway is dark, decidedly.
AndrewThe hallway's dark.
FableOkay, fun, that's a fun. Last thing to see, just a pair of glowing eyes as they send lightning at you.
AndrewYes, absolutely Iquium.
JamesSuck it sound like they got you. Yes, absolutely equium you, yeah, equium you and callie are are up.
AndrewUm, I'm gonna use elder's blast. Okay, on which one bread and butter? Um, so there's one that, there's one who is untouched has is untouched, and there's one that's definitely taken some damage but is still standing like Elton John he's still standing because they're near Zanros and I'm gonna hit the ones that's already been hit.
Jamesokay, um, which would you rather? Okay, which would you rather? Which would Zanros rather? What Do I go for?
Catherinethe untouched one, I don't know if we should just take the one that's already damaged out or if we should damage them both.
JamesWell, what's your damage on the Eldritch Blast?
AndrewSo 14, 18 to hit and then 1d10, right 1d10, yes, so I will just give you. You want an insight check?
JamesSure 13.
AndrewYou know that, no matter what you do, both will still be standing. Unless it's a critical hit again, they're most likely both going to be standing. I rolled an 18. Yeah.
JamesI rolled 14 plus 4. 18.
Andrew18 will hit.
JamesSo D10 is five points of damage.
AndrewOkay, so now you got Callie's turn. Oh, callie's turn, so Are you trying to get DD in front of the mic.
JamesI am. That's a 22 to hit.
AndrewA 22 will hit.
JamesAnd 2d6 plus 3.
FableOh, I got it.
JamesIs.
CatherineDidi podcasting.
FableOh, Didi is totally podcasting, oh my gosh Ten points of damage.
AndrewTen points of damage, james.
CatherineKill the bugbear.
AndrewHow would you like to kill this bugbear In the dead of night?
JamesA flashing light, neax came down. A killing sound killed the bugbear. Callie jumps again at this bugbear and another neck shot knocks him down, prone.
ZanrosExcellent Rips his throat out. Hey dummy, Last bugbear standing.
Speaker 4You want to rethink?
Jamesthis they are not reasonable creatures. No.
AndrewI know I like to give them an opportunity, Because you said your AC is what 19 right now Yep, so that bugbear is going to completely miss you.
ZanrosOh, so that's a no, then Guess you're still trying Exactly. Grrr. Oh, you're so scary, I'm so intimidated.
JamesI bet you are, you're up, zanros. Okay, come on, give him the backhand, the furry blows oh no Eleven, oh no 11.
AndrewDoes not hit.
CatherineNo, should I do the furry blows?
AndrewFurry blows. Is that because you're holding DD?
CatherineYes, furry blows. Yeah, I guess let's do the furry blows.
AndrewFurry blows. I don't know if you can do this with DD, but you can go.
JamesLet's do the furry blows, furry blows.
AndrewI don't know if you can do this with DD, but you can go.
CatherineThat was so good. What do I got? 12 plus 6, 18.
Andrew18 does hit.
CatherineAll right, so I'm going to furiously blow this guy. What Excuse me?
AndrewOh, hello, this, this Hello. That took a turn.
ZanrosIt took a turn. That escalated very quickly.
AndrewSix. Well, you are at that height, so oh my God, Now there's more alliteration.
JamesBlown bugbears at the Bimbo Bubble B&B.
AndrewGet blown at the Bimbo Bubble B&B oh my god, that's got to get ended.
CatherineOw, ow, ow, ow. No. My second action is only what is that? A three, a nine?
AndrewNine does not hit.
CatherineOkay.
AndrewWas that the first flurry or the second flurry?
CatherineThat was the second flurry, or the second flurry that? Was the second flurry. Was it that I just rolled? Yeah, because I hit him on the first flurry.
AndrewDid you? What did you hit him with on the first flurry?
CatherineWith the flurry. Of that was when I said I'm going to furiously blow him.
AndrewYes, but what was the damage? Did you hit him the first time? It was six yes, I did. What was the attack roll? Nineteen, I did. What was the attack roll?
Catherine19, I think.
AndrewI thought that was your quarterstaff, no.
CatherineI missed the quarterstaff.
AndrewSo you rolled a 19. What was the damage? Six, six, okay 74. Right wrong 32.
Catherine18. What do we need? 34 counts, ah, ah, ah, exactly Nice.
AndrewDal, you are up. Okay, there's one bugbear left. It has taken damage.
CatherineI think you should give it some more damage.
FableYeah, I think I should. Should I do Guiding Bolt again, because I'm at six health and I don't want to go in there?
AndrewThat's up to you.
CatherineI like that, just the teeny, tiny monkeys in the room.
JamesI say you go for it. Okay, do not. Yeah, don't go in there.
AndrewWell, Callie is in there now too. Oh, okay, Because Callie attacked the other one.
FableWe're going to do this again and it's not going to be as cool. Maybe Critical hit on a show? Yeah, no, it doesn't hit, it's a nine.
AndrewNope, that does not hit Damn. So then Equium, you and Callie are up.
JamesOkay, 13.
AndrewDoes not hit.
JamesWasn't Eldritch Blast, but 13 does not hit. 13 does not hit 13 does not hit. Callie 19 19 does hit, and that's 2, 11 points and 11 points and has to make a DC 13 strength saving throw or be knocked prone because he's a creature knocked prone beautiful and I told you 11 damage.
AndrewYes, you told me 11 damage. So when I am prone, what do I have to do to? Well, that was Wait, that was. That was Kali, right? Yes, so that was Kali. So do I have to use my action to stand up? Is that what it is? You have to use your action. I can never remember.
JamesLet's see, I'm going to look it up here.
AndrewI'm going to look it up as well.
JamesProne creature has disadvantage. On attack rolls An attack roll against the prone creature has advantage if the attacker is within five feet feet so he can attack but has disadvantage or can use his action to stand ending the condition of, but then that's his, that's his.
AndrewI don't want to, I don't want to give you advantage on attacks. I mean, I'm going to use, so this creature, because he's the next one up, so he's going to use his action to rise and stand back up. Okay, and now it goes back to Zanros. Yes, woo-hoo.
JamesAnd then it's automatically assumed, since he's used that action, that the condition of being prone has ended. There is no advantage on the rolls.
AndrewYep 25. That definitely hits. Okay, I have out my quarterstaff again. Five. This bugbear is relentless and still standing. Okay, is that your turn?
CatherineThat is my turn.
AndrewDow. Yes, what would you like to do?
FableI'm just going to try the guiding bolt again.
CatherineI'm just going to check in on this bugbear real quick.
AndrewIs that your last spell slot? Then Gosh, oh wait, no, I thought.
FableNo, it is.
AndrewBecause you used guiding bolt once. I thought no, it is Because you used Guiding Bolt once. I failed last time. Well, you used Guiding Bolt twice, right? Yeah, because I failed. Oh, you didn't use the healing spell before, so you've got one spell slot left. Yeah, yeah, okay, so you're going to use Guiding Bolt again.
CatherineCan I just check in on this bugbear one last time.
Speaker 4Buddy you're looking kind of rough.
ZanrosYou sure you want to do this you could be dead or you could have a new job.
FableLong live spider oh fine, idiot I'm going to do toll the dead You're going to do toll the dead. Yeah, okay.
JamesOh, because it's a cantrip yeah. Wisdom save, I want to have at least one spell slot.
FableOkay, oh, because it's a cantrip, yeah.
AndrewNice Wisdom, save That'll be. That'll be a two.
FableI like how you have to check that Okay.
AndrewI want to see if I had any bonuses, right.
JamesDo I got?
Speaker 4anything, anything, anything at all.
FableThat'll be 11.
AndrewPoints of damage.
FableYes.
AndrewSo how would you like to finish off this last bugbear?
Fablelast bugbear.
Speaker 4I don't know. What does Toll the Dead do? What does?
FableToll the Dead, do it just you point at one creature and the sound of a I've got the, I only know it. Uh. You point at one creature and the sound of a Delirious bell fills the air around it for a moment and then it takes the product damage.
Speaker 4Ooh.
CatherineSo then I think you should wait for the bugbear to like Cover his ears because the sound is so awful, and then, as he takes the damage, I think you should just walk into the room and, with one finger, just knock him over.
FableYeah, I like that. I'm going to do it.
AndrewJust like that, and that is how you've dispatched the four bugbears, honestly done.
ZanrosI'm going to go try to wake up this goblin.
JamesIt's time up.
ZanrosDo we need to? He might just want to work here.
JamesOr the bigger question I had, since he passed out, was is he already one of our goblins?
ZanrosYeah or like. Is he a random goblin prisoner? Does he know Vincent or I?
Speaker 4don't know.
CatherineYeah, does he know, Vincent, or and that way I don't think it necessarily Michael.
ZanrosCreed, oscar, stanley, toby or Nardog.
JamesI love the fact that you have all the names.
ZanrosI absolutely wrote that down. I just freaking love that it's the names.
JamesI absolutely wrote that down. I just freaking love that. It's amazing.
ZanrosI'm going to have to do so much HR paperwork. It's helpful.
AndrewOkay, so you revive this goblin? Yes, he's like. Oh, thank God, I walked into this place. My wagon broke down. I'm just trying to find parts to fix it. There's these bugbears.
JamesThis place is nuts. He's lying to us. Well, friend, good news is, the bugbears are dead. Insight check.
ZanrosUh-oh, my friend here doesn't trust you.
AndrewGo ahead. That was great, wait, wait.
JamesOh, I get plus two seven.
AndrewHe does not appear to be lying to you All right, wait, let me do one too.
FableInsight sight.
CatherineTwelve.
JamesLet me do one.
FableDamn. Well, that's a ten.
JamesTheo Pimple.
AndrewThis goblin appears to be telling you the truth. He's kind of hapless. He truly did just wander in here. Listen, friend.
ZanrosI got a couple of questions for you, sure. Are you looking for a job.
AndrewYou know, I'm always looking for a way to help my family. What do you have in mind?
ZanrosI'm turning this place into a bed and breakfast. This shithole.
AndrewOkay, roll for initiative and he passes out again.
CatherineI kick him to wake him back up. He just called my B&B a shithole.
AndrewHe didn't call your B&B a shithole. He called the ruins of the Tresendor Manor a shithole.
CatherineThat's my B&B.
AndrewWhich it is.
CatherineThat is, the bones of my B&B.
AndrewIt's got good bones, but it looks like a shit hole. Wow, you're gonna make it beautiful.
CatherineI nudge him gently with my foot.
AndrewHe comes back to.
ZanrosLet's try this again. Once we put in some elbow grease, this is going to be a lovely bed, and breakfast.
AndrewI'm sure it will be. I'd be. I'm very handy.
CatherineOkay.
AndrewSo it's better than my brother. He's handsy, but I'm just handy.
ZanrosDo you? How do you get along with other goblins? Because I have a number of them who are going to be working here a number of them who are going to be working here.
AndrewYou know these Kragmaw goblins. They keep trying to convince me to join them, but I'm just trying to mind my own business.
ZanrosI've got seven goblins who are committed to working in this place in a variety of roles, but I do not have a handyman.
AndrewIf you, need a handyman, I am your goblin.
ZanrosAnd what's your name, friend? My name, yeah, droop, droop, that's a nice name Droop.
AndrewThank you.
ZanrosOkay, well, so we have a lot of stuff we have to do. We have not finished checking all the rooms in this place, because there's a lot of squatters in here and even though this is my property, they seem to think it's theirs. So we gotta go check out a couple more rooms. Do you want to help us move some bodies or do you just want to like go hang out in like the break room for now?
AndrewI mean, I'm happy to help you move bodies. If you need help, oh great.
ZanrosMaybe while we go check out the last couple of rooms. Hey, theo Bing, if I ask you to help Droop move some bodies, are you going to try to take off?
CatherineNo, why would? I do that I'd like an insight check on Theo oh Six.
FableCan I do an?
Andrewinsight check insight Theo's not going anywhere.
ZanrosTheo, would you and droop here move oh, what's his name? Glass glass door glass glass, glass jaw, glass staff. That's right. Could you move glassstaff's body and then, if you're able to get these bugbears out of here, just stack them in the back. We'll set them on fire or something later.
AndrewWell, you know, there's that big crevasse you could just toss them in there. Do you think that they'd smell?
Zanrosif we pitch them into the crevasse.
AndrewYou could throw them in there.
JamesI need a drink. There might be something in the crevasse that could dispose of them. We don't know yet.
ZanrosI just want to make sure that if they're down in the crevasse and the bodies are rotting, that my guests are not going to be bothered by the stench.
AndrewYou leave that to us.
ZanrosAll right.
AndrewWhatever is easiest, as long as it's not going to bother my guests. I don't want a kid finding a skull.
ZanrosI don't want guests complaining about an odor.
AndrewDon't you worry about a thing.
JamesOkay. So you know, maybe delay the crevasse experience trip, you know, until we're sure.
ZanrosYeah, like we won't be zip lining over the crevasse.
JamesNo out or bound classes in the crevasse for a week.
ZanrosWe won't be what is it? When you bounce down the side of a building Repelling yes no repelling into the crevasse, no bungee jumping.
FableNope, no bungee jumping.
JamesGot it. I am going to use a potion of healing.
AndrewOkay.
CatherineMagician heal thyself.
AndrewMake sure anyone that's used potions of healing make sure you remove those from your inventory.
JamesYes, I removed the one that I gave Dal.
AndrewExcellent. They are liquid core potion bottles.
CatherineYes, I'm sure that glitter would be great for drinking.
AndrewTotally. It's magical, it's magic glitter, yeah. So Equium is healing himself.
CatherineDal, what are you and Zanros doing? Gossiping?
Andrewgossiping. What are you gossiping about? What's the hot goss?
Jameswhat's the tea you're spilling?
Zanroscome on bugbears are actually stupider than I had heard. I have to agree with you like goblins, have turned out to be much more appealing than bugbears. I don't why do they call them bugbears. They don't even look like bears.
AndrewThey're very feral. That's the problem with bugbears. It's not.
ZanrosBut they're just big and ugly Like an owlbear is cute.
AndrewOwlbe bears are cute. A bug bear is gross. What luxury.
JamesYou know what's really cute Dire wolves.
AndrewDire wolves.
ZanrosOh, I mean really dire wolves are adorable obviously Callie's a good girl.
AndrewWho doesn't love a dire wolf?
ZanrosAll the people whose throats she whipped out. Fair, that's fair, you got me there.
AndrewAll the people whose throats she ripped out Fair, that's fair, that is fair, yep, yep, you got me there. Can't argue with that point.
JamesAll the people whose throats she ripped out.
CatherineExactly Not. Fans, not big direwolf fans, just saying Not really into it.
JamesEspecially singers are not into.
AndrewCallie yes.
JamesPeople with allergies. Anybody with upper respiratory tract infections.
Speaker 4Yeah.
AndrewSo what would you like to do next?
CatherineOkay, the last thing we have to explore is the crevasse, right, yeah, so like, while we go to check out the crevasse, is our Theo pimple and Droop just dragging bodies to it.
AndrewDon't you worry about them, they're doing their thing.
CatherineOkay, I guess we're gonna go check out the crevasse right? Alright, let's go.
AndrewSo you're going, you're heading up the stairs. I hope, I hope. To this crevasse area, equium. You start to hear this voice in your head.
CatherineNot that weird whispery voice again.
AndrewAgain.
CatherineOh boy.
AndrewSpeaking to you, calling out to you I know, I can't hear it Calling my name. No, no, no, or just whispers Like whispering, you feel it, trying to understand and communicate.
CatherineIt's creeping me out.
AndrewGive me a perception. Check equium.
JamesFifteen, fifteen, 15 15, 15. So there's that so as you, goodbye on the Ouija board again. So there's that rug and I have a Roomba and it's summoned.
AndrewSo as you, as you come up those stairs, iquium, you notice there's that one column right there holding up the ceiling.
JamesYes.
AndrewFrom behind the column you see this singular glowing eye and all you see is blink, blink as it locks onto your eyes.
JamesThat's not creepy. Uh, uh, uh-huh. Um Shit, I cast Mage Hand.
AndrewOkay, and what will your Mage Hand do?
JamesI want to see what it does if I use the Mage Hand just to wave in front of the eye.
AndrewWell, is the Mage Hand going out toward the eye?
JamesYeah, towards the eye but like so, I know that it's locked on me. I want to see that If I interrupt its field of vision, what will it do? Is what I'm trying to do.
AndrewSo it as as this mage hand moves closer toward the eye, you just see the eye kind of retreat back behind the column.
JamesLike is it on the column or in the column, or a little bit of both?
AndrewGive me a perception, check or investigation. Whichever one you want to do, whichever one is better for you.
JamesNine.
AndrewNo, it doesn't. It appears to be something hiding behind the column.
JamesAnd if I walk around the column, is it always looking from behind it?
AndrewAre you going to walk toward the column? Yeah, you're going to walk toward the column.
FableSure, do it, do it, do it.
AndrewI'm one of the voices now Do it, just do it, just do it so as you get nearer to the column, the voices, the whispering in your head gets louder and louder, and as you come around the side of the column, you come face to face with a creature that you've only read about in books it is a nothic am I allowed to google?
Fableyou can?
Andrewsee what the nofick.
JamesLooks like it's just misunderstood does it look like it's trying to communicate with me, or if it's just being creepy it, it, it is trying to, so so give me. Oh yes I can see him now yes telekinetically. I ask him what he wants. What does he see?
AndrewHe recognizes All you hear clearly through this whispering is Friend or foe.
JamesFriend. Well, he hasn't attacked me, so I will say I will ask him are the people that were here your friends or foes?
Speaker 4I wish to be a friend.
AndrewCan Dal and I see him or just no, you can't because he's still hiding behind the column. So from where you're standing you can maybe see Iquium, kind of to the side, like to the side and behind the column, but the column is blocking your view of the Nothic.
ZanrosIquium, what are you talking to?
JamesSing a little song travel along side by side.
Speaker 4Yeah you're hilarious, you don't hear that no, no.
AndrewSo, in all this whispering, the next word you can understand is hungry.
FableOh, feed him the bugbears.
CatherineOh, yeah, yeah what does he like to?
Fableeat.
JamesI tell Theo and the goblin to bring the bugbear to me.
AndrewMm-hmm, theo and the goblin to bring the bugbear to me, mm-hmm. So Theo and Droop, droop, droop, droop the goblin, droop the goblin and Theo Pimble Drag one of the bugbears up toward you. They're a little taken aback because they come around the corner. They're like holy shit, they see this thing. They're a little taken aback because they come around the corner and they're like holy shit, they see this thing. They've heard the stories of this thing, but they've never seen it face to face. So they kind of drop the body and run.
AndrewAnd I just go ooh. And so you see the Nothic just start to devour the. Now the two of you are able to see this as well. Oh, okay, Because the bugbear is in between you and Iquium. So the Nothic comes out and starts devouring this bugbear. What the hell is this?
Zanrosnow.
JamesI'm making a new friend here. What?
Zanrosis it?
JamesI tell Theo and Droop to go get me another bugbear.
AndrewAlright, so Theo and Theo and Droop go down, go back down the stairs into the room where the bugbears were and they drag up another body and Aquium.
ZanrosWhat is that thing?
AndrewDrop it on the pile.
JamesSo I start, I ask it, do I ask it? Does it tell me that it's a no thick or just that I've heard about?
Andrewyou've heard stories of them and what do I know of them?
AndrewSo you know that you, you really know that again, they only speak telepathically. They are, they are what used to be mind flayers. So these are mind flayers that are turned, turned into no fix. They have a fringe of tentacles beneath their single eye, and so this, this mind flip, or not? This mind, this no thick, continues to just devour, devour these two bug bears that you have provided to it. And in the midst of eating these, he looks back up at you with this one glowing eye. And again, you're only able to make out single words. Here and there, all you hear is friend.
AndrewAs it looks to me as it looks to you, okay friend, what can you tell me of this place? It's really not able to.
JamesIt's just singular words just singular words.
AndrewSo, again, you hear all this whisperings and the only word you're able to make out is home like this is it's home is this your home or are you looking for?
Fablehome, home. I think he found another B&B worker.
CatherineThis one I'm employing for when people don't pay their tab.
AndrewNot a bad idea.
CatherineHowie snacks.
JamesWell, I mean it is looking at me as, as a friend.
AndrewIt does not perceive you to be an enemy At least, so that's a good thing.
JamesWere, you trapped here.
ZanrosNo Cool, could you leave?
Speaker 4To you.
JamesWhat master do you serve? None, oh, okay. Did any of the red brands hurt you? I mean, you are my friend, so Food, you just like them for food, food, okay, I'll have Theo and Drew bring all the other bugbears.
CatherineYou might as well feed them glass staff too.
JamesYeah, but if we want to take the reward for glass staff, or do we want? Here's the thing With glass staff. I feel like if we keep his death secret, then we could impersonate glass Staff if we needed to.
CatherineThat's true.
JamesSo that would be a reason to.
AndrewWhat was that?
JamesI'm sorry, I just feel like if we don't tell anybody, like if there's no proof of Glass Staff's death, then we can use his, we can impersonate him Me too.
AndrewSo you're going to be the new Dread Pirate Roberts. Mm-hmm.
CatherineYes, good night. Wesley.
Speaker 4Did well today.
JamesI'll probably kill you in the morning. Inconceivable.
AndrewYou're the new Glass Staff. Congratulations. Do not think that word means what you think.
JamesCongratulations, I will give you this aside really quick. And it's the actor who plays Vincini. I saw him on the corner of 6th Avenue and Houston Street. My windows were open and I yelled inconceivable. And he waved and he smiled.
CatherineI would imagine Wallace Shawn is always happy when people recognize him, he just seems sweet. He was very nice.
JamesHe was just a super big smile.
AndrewThat's great.
CatherineUnlike a certain Broadway actor I saw who tried to pull his hoodie tighter around his face so people wouldn't recognize him.
ZanrosNathan Lane.
JamesWhat do I know of Nothic's history? Can I do a history check of my knowledge?
AndrewYou can do a history check on.
CatherineLike their origin, like you're saying he's, so that's a we want his origin story.
Jameswell, like where do they like, more or less, where do they come from, or how are they made, or like he's hungry, obviously, probably not a great thing.
AndrewSo you're doing a history check.
JamesYeah, and I got a Sorry. Sorry, I don't get anything. Twelve Twelve.
AndrewOkay, so you know from your studies that noethics are monstrous creatures terrible talons, the single large eye. When driven to violence, they use their horrific gaze to rot the flesh off of the enemy's bones.
ZanrosThat's great.
AndrewRather than gaining the godlike supremacy they crave, some wizards who devote their lives to unearthing arcane secrets are reduced to creeping, tormented monsters by a dark curse left behind by Vecna. Obviously, you're familiar with Vecna, a powerful lich who, in some worlds, has transcended his undead existence to become a god of secrets. Nothix retain no awareness of their former selves, skulking amid the shadows and haunting places rich in magical knowledge, drawn by memories and impulses they can't quite understand. Nothics possess a strange magical insight that allows them to extract knowledge from other creatures. This grants them unique understanding of secret and forbidden lore, which they share for a price.
AndrewA Nothic covets magic, magic items, greedily accepting such gifts from creatures that seek out its knowledge. Nothics are notorious for infiltrating arcane academies and other places rich in magical learning. They are driven by the vague knowledge that there exists a method to reverse their condition. This isn't a clear sense of, but rather an obsessive tug at the end of their mind. Some Nothics are clever enough to realize that this is merely a part of the strange lesson for their folly a false hope to drive them to seek out more arcane secrets. Nothic.
AndrewSo, no thick.
JamesVery possibly, very possibly.
AndrewYes.
Speaker 4Oh.
JamesLet's get our cane out, and I'm wondering if the jars that I have from blast staff's laboratory or if they're used in the spell.
Speaker 4Well, we could. Yeah, I asked.
JamesI asked him um um dragon chain do you know where the forge of spells is?
AndrewThe Gnothic doesn't know where the forge of he's able to communicate. He doesn't know where it is, but he was in search of it.
Jamesit okay but never, never found it have pimble and droop just made me think that they could have their own little shop. Sorry, mailman, passed by Mailman, he was wearing a pith helmet.
CatherineThat's fantastic. It's a dangerous job.
AndrewJust in case of a loss or after jumps out from it.
JamesClever girl. So this is what my thought is. My thought is if he seeks out arcane knowledge or has arcane knowledge, yes. And they couldn't see him. But I could, but they can now, just because it was avoiding yes, correct but it wasn't like invisible or just visible, no, it was not invisible or visible to you.
JamesYou're the only one that can speak to it because, because of your telepathic abilities, yeah, I totally want to be a threat, but, yeah, I told him I'd be a threat. But what does he look for? I ask what do you seek other than food? Like, obviously we've provided the four bugbears, as he's devouring them, right, Right, as he's devouring them.
Speaker 4Right.
JamesWhat can you show us? Where can you guide us to Do you know?
Catherinewhere there's magical knowledge.
AndrewCould you leave my B&B B&B. The Nothic really isn't aware necessarily of any magical knowledge, but he was. The Nothic was aware of One of the. So you rolled a history check, right, so give me an arcana check. Oh, okay, a combination of history and arcana 18. So he conveys to you in some way that 18. So he conveys to you in some way.
JamesThat Should have been 20, but 18.
AndrewThat's fine. He conveys to you again, single, just broken phrases, that Glasstaff, in exchange for guarding the manor, glasstaff was working on a way to reverse the effects that have afflicted the Nothic.
CatherineI wouldn't mention we killed him then.
FableI was going to say Well, glasstaff was unsuccessful.
AndrewIt wasn't his sole goal, so it wasn't Glasstaff's.
JamesHe could have been just telling him that.
AndrewRight Glasstaff said in exchange for guarding it. You know, I'm a master of the arcane arts, I will find a way to reverse this. It was just a bargain they struck, but he never successfully.
JamesAnd he was just guarding the manor.
AndrewHe was just guarding the manor. Okay, excellent security, by the way.
JamesSo yeah, you have a built-in security guard.
CatherineAs long as he promises not to eat any of the guests.
AndrewAs long as you keep it, fed Him it. I don't know. I don't know the Nothic's pronouns.
CatherineDoes it have a name?
JamesYeah, what's its name?
AndrewSarnak. Sarnak, the nothic sarnak are there, other are there other caves or caverns down here, he tells you no, there, this is, this is the only this is the only this is it, the only. This is it. This crevasse kind of turns into a, and you can kind of see it from here. Yeah, you see, there's a tunnel toward the south, so the crevasse just kind of peters out right here into into a tunnel that leads out to darkness.
JamesYou can't see what's out there, so have you been in any? Is that a passage beyond? Does that leave here? Where does it lead to? Can you tell us?
AndrewForest. It goes into the forest, anyone, anyone else got anything.
CatherineYeah, I want to make sure he's not going to eat the people that come to the B&B.
AndrewAgain, as long as you keep the Nothic, the Nothic will not Equium can tell you. The Nothic stays down, the Nothic prefers the dark. So the Nothic's not going to come upstairs and attack anybody as long as you keep the nothic fed.
CatherineWhat does the nothic like to eat? Does it have to be people? Does it have to be mine?
AndrewCould be animals. Any type of flesh.
CatherineCould I feed it leftovers from whatever I'm feeding the B&B?
AndrewSure, sure you could.
CatherineOkay.
JamesSo my thought is this it's very much a carnivore. Okay.
AndrewYes.
JamesYou and I are friends and I want to help you as Glass Staff. But his Red Brands have attacked people. They've been hurting the people of the town. I want you to be safe. I want you to live where you want to live and I'll help you find the path. If it is within my power and I can, I can find it. I will gladly find tomes and research and what have you and in the meantime keep you fed with the bones of my enemies if that's acceptable to you.
JamesYes, so, friend, these are my friends. They're now your friends as well, but those red brands that come through here, not so much.
ZanrosSo food, yeah, I get it, don't eat the old pimble though, yeah, he's not my favorite person, but he's alright.
Speaker 4Food yeah, I get it, don't eat the old pimble though?
JamesYeah, he's not my favorite person, but he's all right. Yeah, we're going to have to change the clothes after this.
AndrewYeah, yeah, for sure For sure, let's be clear.
ZanrosYou said his name is Sarnak.
JamesSarnak, yeah, okay.
ZanrosSarnak. Let's just be clear If they come through in a red cape food, otherwise not food If they look like a guest, not food.
JamesHow about we just bring you the food, yeah, or we tell you where the food is, or you guard, just like you guard now Food.
Speaker 4Food, I got it.
JamesHow many? Have they been able to bring the other bugbears now?
AndrewYeah, there's just a pile. Well, two of the bugbears have already been eaten. Okay, so the other two bugbears are currently. He's a little full. Sarnak's a little full right now. Yeah, so Sarnak needs to pace himself. The tryptophan in bugbears is like really high, so Sarnak may need a nap after the first two bugbears did we leave a bunch of dead red brands?
Catherineyeah, the dead brands, so we can feed them sure you certainly can this is helping me clean things up. This is kind of perfect actually. Sarnak, the Sarlacc.
AndrewThis is not the.
CatherineSarlacc oh sorry.
AndrewBut you could basically have Theo and Droop, just kind of tend to the Nothic and just keep tossing at bodies.
CatherineShould we? Can we call them in and explain what's going on? Sure, so they're aware. Sure, sure, okay.
ZanrosTheo.
AndrewYeah.
Speaker 4Could you and?
ZanrosDrup, come here for a sec. Sure, thank you. What's up? Okay, this guy, I know you're like, not, really that. Yeah, okay so. This is Sarnak. Sarnak is friend, okay so?
Andrewthis is Sarnak. Sarnak is friend.
ZanrosOkay, we're going to have to keep him in dead bodies, animal carcasses, whatever.
Speaker 4If we feed him.
ZanrosHe doesn't eat us. Do me a favor, take off your red cloak. Sure, because he's going to eat a red brand if he sees a red brand.
AndrewHe throws off the cloak so fast.
ZanrosOkay, so down in that little area where we found Mirna and the kids, yeah, can you go grab those bodies and just chuck them over here for Sarnak.
AndrewSure.
ZanrosAnd then could Troop? There's a woman and her kids hanging out in the break room. Yeah, could you let them know that it's safe to come out now? Sure, and they can go home, okay. Okay, everybody cool with that?
JamesYep.
ZanrosAll right.
AndrewExcellent, solid plan, all right. So the good news is at this point that you have completely cleared out all the red brands and glass staff out of Trescender Manor, so it is now yours for the taking, plus one Nothic. So I find a piece of wood.
ZanrosYes, and I go back in the room where we killed all those bugbears.
AndrewYes.
ZanrosAnd I dip my finger in the blood.
AndrewOoh.
ZanrosAnd I write, future home of the Bumble Bumble B&B on the piece of wood.
AndrewIn blood.
ZanrosBugbear blood Bugbear blood.
AndrewI don't have a.
ZanrosSharpie Holy cow.
JamesWow and I put that on the front door and you said I was dark for taking off Glass Taff's head and dropping it in the room Right. And then I grab a second piece of wood.
Speaker 4Yes, and I go back in.
ZanrosYes and I get some more blood. Red brands need not apply.
AndrewOkay.
ZanrosOkay.
AndrewExcellent.
JamesUnder new management.
AndrewUnder new management.
ZanrosSmall but mighty.
AndrewYes, so what would you like to do? Would you like, now that everything I Now that everything You've made your way through the entire underbelly of Tresendor Manor, here, would you want to head back to town? What do you want to do?
CatherineWe did send a bunch of Redbrands to the tavern.
AndrewYou did yeah.
JamesSo that hasn't been that long now. So what I'm thinking is we move on, go back to the town, let the red brands come up here and let Sarnak take care of them.
AndrewI like that Okay.
JamesI mean now he knows that red brands are off. You know like.
AndrewRight right, right right.
JamesAnybody with a red cape Not looking so good.
AndrewYeah, okay, sounds like a solid plan.
JamesSo here's my question.
AndrewYes.
JamesI so this is just a cavern that leads. So here's my question yes, I so this is just a cavern that leads.
AndrewHe says leads to trees that tunnel, yeah, yeah, that tunnel leads out to the forest leads out to the forest correct.
JamesI don't know, should we go that way?
FableI don't see why not curious about that passage to the east. What do you want to leave the?
Andrewmanor, or what do you want to do?
JamesWell, we've we've pretty much clear. You said we've pretty much cleared it up. Yeah, I think we should leave. So, yeah, I think yeah, but is it worth like looking down there and seeing if that's a passage?
Fableto another? Yeah, because it kind of leads to nowhere.
JamesYeah, sure.
AndrewSo we're going to go down that passage.
JamesThat passageway.
AndrewEast.
JamesSouth. Well, south is the tunnel that goes out to the tree. Well, south is the tunnel that goes out to the tree yes but if we go east down that passage, that seems to lead in a dead end. Yes, I want to see if it leads into a dead end or if it's a secret passage okay that's all.
CatherineI just want to investigate that it's just going to take us back out to the cistern so you're going down that hall.
AndrewI need to search that cistern again you come up to just a blank wall. Give me an investigation check 17. Oh investigation.
JamesNo, I don't get it, it's 17.
AndrewSo again you notice a very similar pattern to the previous hidden door here on this wall. Yes, straight check, what's that?
JamesI'm going to push against it.
AndrewGive me a strength, give me an athletics track.
JamesOh, Nat 20. 17.
AndrewThis one amazingly gives way very, very easily for you. This one they like WD-40, this thing, it just swung.
JamesIt's tipped up.
AndrewThis one's really well maintained and the door pushes wide open and you walk out back into the first room you entered. You see the cistern again and everything there and you see the door up the stairs where you entered the Trescender Manor.
JamesSo Theo and Droop are getting bodies and whatnot.
AndrewYep.
CatherineThey're helping clean up and they're also getting Myrna and the kids out.
AndrewYes.
JamesSo do we go back to town or do you want to go out the tunnel into the trees? Because I forget what that looks like around Trescender Manor.
CatherineIf we go back to town, what are we doing?
JamesI don't know that we have to go back to town.
AndrewRight, what are your next steps?
JamesI mean, I think I think we go explore the passage and go out through the trees. I just wanted to see if it was a secret door, that's.
AndrewGot it.
CatherineOkay, you want to go out through the trees? Go out the back way, yeah why not?
AndrewOkay, all right, so you head down the tunnel and you're going to wait another month to figure out what happens.
AndrewBum, bum happens Until next time and we will leave it at that. But congratulations again. So sometime between now and next month you can level up. So sometime between now and next month you can level up. Maybe I don't know if we want to do another level up episode and talk about your characters and all that, but yeah, we'll make sure everyone gets leveled up before the next part of the adventure. Should I do that now, before I forget, or now? No, you don't have to do it right now. Okay, well, we're going to end this episode here. Wow, this has been quite an adventure. Thank you all for playing. I hope you had a good time clearing out the Tricender Manor.
ZanrosThank, you and the.
AndrewBumble Bumble B&B. That's right, the future bloody home of the Bumble Bumble B&B. Look out, bugbears Not welcome. Bugbears not welcome.
CatherineRed brands and bugbears not welcome.
JamesWow, I can really see just a suggestion of maybe a little museum dedication to the bloody beginnings of Bumble Bumble.
AndrewB&B.
JamesYes.
CatherineTiny little Zanros just whacking people at quarterstaff.
AndrewRight, Totally. Again, thank you all. This was great. Catch us next month. We'll have a couple episodes in between. We'll catch us next month on the next round of adventure when we figure out where we head to next. Again, thank you everyone for listening and thank thank you all for playing.
JamesThank you.
AndrewThank you All right, bye, everybody Bye. ©. Transcript Emily Beynon.
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